Clowns :: Jyu :: With the Sweetness in You

By: Charlotte Havok (Nova)

Beta-reader: Kaze no Kagura

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"How can I kill someone so sweet?"

I can't get his voice out of my head...

"... so sweet?"

I'm not a sweet girl... I'm supposed to annoy him to death; that's my job. Not to be sweet. And the problem here is...

"...kill someone so sweet?"

Is... I think I like him much more than I would like to. I thought this was just a crush... but now— I don't know... I ain't sweet, and yet... he...

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All she wanted was to erase the stupid flowers and butterflies that were in every damn corridor!! The spring dance would be this Saturday –two days from today– and the entire high school was already in the mood for spring. Idiots.

It wasn't enough with all the joy in the air. No, they had to put stupid animals and happy stuff around the school. Didn't they know that not everyone enjoyed that crappy stuff?

:: Sigh:: "And so the disaster begins..." Kagome closed her locker and looked at her surroundings. She really hated this so called school spirit. But that didn't meant they would stop all the cheeriness that was overwhelming her. No, they wouldn't.

"Take it easy, girl. It's just a few days, and then it's over." Ayame slung an arm around her, hanging from her back.

"Thanks for tryin' to cheer me up Ayame, but man! You are heavy! Stop clinging to me!!" Kagome shoved her, while her friend laughed.

"I knew I could give you back some of your happiness!! Now you're in a good mood, ya see?"

"If that's a good mood, I don't want her mad at me." The third one –Sango- was behind Kagome, grinning from ear to ear.

"Har har har, you guys are hilarious." Kagome shook her head, trying to appear serious, but little by little she started to laugh.

"And so Kagome is back," Sango solemnly stated.

"It only takes two morons to make me happy. Man, I'm a low maintenance girl."

"Shut up, and let's go."

After their little reunion, the threesome went to their classes.

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"Inuyasha, what are you looking at?" Kikyo was looking straight at his face while her arms were around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him.

"Uh? Nothing, I just zoned out."

"All right, now that I have you here.. Kiss me" she whispered the last part, leaning into him, closing her eyes.

"Un." He bent down, letting her catch his lips. 'Now that you have me here' he thought.

.............

He couldn't believe it! He was back! Back in his old town, where he had lived when he was only a kid.

Where he had met his childhood crush.

Since his father had been transferred back to Tokyo, they choose to go back to their old house. It was near his work anyway. Besides, he had almost begged his father to go back there. It was just because of her. That sweet girl who loved everything that was pink and always had her stuffed bunny, Usagi-chan, with her.

It had been ten years or so since the last time he saw her. And her mother had told him she was attending the High School 025 – It wasn't far away from where she lived. With that, he went searching for her. Besides, he had to go to a school. After all, he was there to stay.

With only her name, fresh on his memory, he went in search of her. "Higurashi Kagome..."

..............

"Nuh-uh, no Math today, sir." Kagome left her bag in the locker, and slowly headed out to the stairs that lead to the main gate of the school. The teachers were never around there, and the place where she used to relax was locked. "Poor sakura tree, all alone there."

She sat there, at least until Math period was over. "And poor little me, all alone here." And sitting there, she stared at nothing.

He doubted for a second. Maybe his memories were a little messy, but if he remembered well, the girl sitting on the stairs was her. But, she looked so different than how he remembered.

She was in her own little world, all alone. He had imagined her as a popular girl, always surrounded by people...

Hojou took a step forward, still not entirely sure if that girl was the one he had come back for. Before he could take another step, a boy with long black hair beyond his waist had come out of the building and was now standing in front of her.

He couldn't hear very well, but from the smirk on the face of the guy, he could tell he was teasing her. Her only response was a laugh.

'That, that girl is Kagome... She's the only one with that laugh.' Without giving it anymore thought, Hojou walked over to her.

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"I'm serious here, Kagome. Stop laughing." Even though he was glaring daggers at her, she wasn't taking him seriously. Instead, her laughter increased.

"Nah" – she took a deep breath before starting to talk – "you can't be serious, Inuyasha. You just said that I should go to the spring dance. D.A.N.C.E." Kagome shook her head and just leaned on a step of the stairs.

"Well now that we know you can spell," he muttered.

"Very proud of it, if I say so myself." She smirked.

Shoving her to the side of the stairs – she, leaning in the railing – he sat beside her. After a big sigh, he tried to make his point. "You should go, I mean, not with... with me, 'cause I have to go with—"

"Yeah, yeah, I know..." Inuyasha turned to look at her, to apologize or something. Every time he brought up Kikyo, he felt guilty. He shouldn't have to. But that was what it was.. or felt like... What the hell was he saying? Or thinking to be correct... 'My mind is playing games with me...'

Kagome looked to the other side, avoiding his eyes, which now had a far faraway look in them. "It's ok..."

They sat there in complete silence, in complete awkward silence. He didn't know what to say, and she had nothing to say. Both were so into their thoughts, that none noticed Hojou standing in front of them.

"Excuse me, are you Higurashi?" He tentatively asked, not noticing Inuyasha's eyes on him.

She looked up at him, a disregarded look in her eyes, the same look she gave to people she didn't know. "So I've heard. What do you—" She abruptly stopped talking and just stared at the boy in front of her. Standing up she got even closer to him, analyzing his face, then from nothing, a huge smile came to her face. "Hojou, ne? It's you! I can't believe it!" Her smile widened even more after the boy nodded. Inuyasha had never seen her smile that way.

"Yes. I'm glad you remember me. For a moment I thought you wouldn't recognize me." The boy- Hojou- scratched his head out of nervousness, at the same time, his cheeks taking a light pink color.

"Don't say that. You probably should have been the one having a hard time recognizing me." Another laugh escaped her mouth.

'Goddammit, stop flirting, little Ka-chan' Inuyasha just watched with gritted teeth.

"Well, at first I kind of... doubted, but—"

"Don't worry, I know what you mean. But what are you doing here? Are you visiting? Why did you come back?" She let her arm rest on the railing, the smile still plastered on her face.

'What the hell! Kagome would have said, "No prob, so what are ya doin' here?" No more words were needed than one of her mottos! And here she goes all polite?!' He couldn't hold it in any longer.

"I'm moving back," Hojou simply said.

Kagome's face lightened up.

Inuyasha didn't stay for the rest of the conversation. The shade of violet that used to be in his eyes had turned deep purple. The little scene developing on the stairs was sickening him to no end. She was all smiles and he was blushing... corny. Fucking corny.

Anyways, what was the deal with that guy- scratch that- wimp? Why was he so chatty with Kagome? She was never friendly with people she barely knew. Who the hell was he?!!

'The green monster's taking me over, right?' He chuckled.

He stopped and looked back to see both talking. Kagome was happy to see that wimp, he could tell. Hell! Anyone could tell!!

"Fuck it..." He turned back and kept going his way, not looking back.

..........

º Inuyashas's POV º

It makes no sense...

Nothing is how it's supposed to be. Everything should have gone back to how it used to be, Kagome in the dark where sometimes I noticed her, Kikyo being the reason I live, and I... I should only care about whatever I used to care about.

"Sesshoumaru!!" Don't ask me why I came to my house. All I know is that I'm banging at the door of my half-brother's room after slamming as many doors as possible on the way there.

"Sesshoumaru! Open this damn door right –" Before my fist can make contact, the door opens and I fall –hard– to the wooden floor, recognizing Sesshoumaru's shoes. He's standing above me.

"Now?" Did I detect a hint of sarcasm?

"Whatever." I push myself up and sit on the bed.

"May I ask what are you doing here?" He sits by the table that's in front of the window and starts reading.

You already did.

"I..." Why I came here? I just wanted to punch someone, to be angry at someone. Fuck! I wanted to be mad at her!

"You care too much. That is your problem." Another page of his book was turned.

"Care too much about what?!" Infuriated, that's how I felt, 'coz things were just screwing up themselves.

Every step I took was messing up the next step I would take and so on. The end being me falling flat on my face.

"About whatever made you come here, whatever is causing the rage inside of you... Just look in the mirror, Inuyasha."

The image I see in front of me is just... not me. The rage I see in my eyes, the way I take every breath. This is just.. wrong. Thinking about her every second of the day, watching her all the time, wanting to be with her no matter what...

What had she done to me?... This is just wrong, how can I become so upset for just one person. He's right. I care too much... more than I should.

Saying nothing else, I leave his room.

There's no use in thinking about this situation anymore. I'll just have to let time do its magic. I close the door to my room and lay on my bed, just waiting for this day to end.

Life sucks, that's the only thing I'm sure of. Kagome must go away... I should kill her.

I feel a smile form on my lips... Yeah, as if I could kill her. I'd rather kill myself to stop this pain, instead of her. Why is this so fucking complicated? To be honest, I don't even know what the problem is...

I just wanna sleep.

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º Author's POV º

Classes were over, and she still had no clue about where he was. After she saw Hojou, both had talked for a while until the bell had rung, and Kagome had to run to her next class.

At first she was happy to see her old friend again, but... he was the same. The thing was, he still seemed like a six year old. He was even more naive than a girl in love, and it seemed as if the guy didn't know he was in a world where everything isn't pink!

After the half hour both spent talking, she was sick of him. Maybe she'd talk to him once in a while, but to be friends was in the past.

Since then she had been searching for Inuyasha. It was the end of school and still no Inu-chan. The only solution was...

"How can I help you?"

"Higurashi Kagome here, you can help me by letting me in. Thank you very much."

"Not you again..."

"Okay... Then, my name is... Oh just let me in!!"

The gates opened, letting her in. She already knew the place from the last time, but still, the gardens looked beautiful in the daylight. For a moment she zoned out, just watching everything.

"If you wanted to see the flowers, you could have done that from outside." A shadow blocked the sunlight. Turning to see Sesshoumaru behind her, she shoved him aside.

"No, that is just a treat. I'm here to see Inuyasha." Kagome walked to the door, letting herself in.

"You know where to find him."

"If the stairs haven't moved by themselves..." Dropping her backpack on the floor of the living room, she went upstairs.

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º Kagome's POV º

::Knock Knock::

No response.

:: Knock Knock::

"What the hell do you want?!" It is definitely his voice. He sounds kind of sleepy. Maybe I shouldn't have come.

"Uh... can I come in?" Since when was I so polite?

"Kagome?" Duh. He seems surprised.

"If that's what you want to call me." Why can't I give a simple answer for once?

I hear some steps coming towards the door, then some stuff being moved and the click of the knob. Then, Inuyasha is in just jeans and a simple t-shirt in front of me.

"Come in. It's messy, but you can find somewhere to sit." He steps aside, letting me in. He leaves the door open, later on laying on his bed, acting as if I'm not there.

"So Kagome, what did you come for? Why are you here?" I say to myself, seein' that he isn't going to talk to me anytime soon.

He gives no sign that he's listening to me. He just turns a page in the magazine he's reading. I continue talking to myself.

"Actually, it's nothing important. I wanted to talk to you, but I couldn't find you in school, so I came here." I sit beside a pile of dirty clothes lying on his floor.

I see his gaze move from his magazine to me for an instant, but as soon as it came it's gone. I never thought I'd get tired of talking to myself. Still, I keep it going.

"And what did you want to talk about? If it wasn't important, I don't think you'd be here." His eyes aren't moving as if he's reading. Now I know I have his full attention. A smirk forms on my lips.

"Oh, seein' that you wanted me to go to the dance so badly" – he flinches a little and now his eyes are on me. I pretend not to notice by looking at my nails – "I decided to go. But I know I can't go with you" – another flinch – "so I'm going with Hojou." My mouth isn't even closed when he is already yelling at me.

"What the fuck?! You're going with that wimp?!!" I don't know how, but in only seconds I am standing and he is in front of me. The battle is just starting.

"Well, you wanted me to go!! And he was there!!" Yeah, I know it sounded stupid, and it was stupid. But somehow I mentioned it while talking to him, and he asked me to go, and well, I dunno, I couldn't say no to him! He looked so excited!"

"Kouga. You could have gone with him!" I thought he disliked Kouga...

"Whatever. You wanted me to go. I'm going!! What's the problem?!!" Really, what was the problem?!

"The problem is that you're going with that wimp!!" That made absolutely no sense!!

"Hojou! The name's Hojou." While yelling at him and shaking my hands trying to make my point, my hand pulls my necklace off, sending it flying to Inuyasha's feet.

"Argh! You just—You!! Fuck it! Let me put this on you!" He bends down, picking up my necklace. It is simple. It has black beads on it, and in the middle a little white skull.

He gets closer to me, and I roughly turn my back to him. My hair is in a messy bun, so it is no problem. Slowly, he starts to make the knot that tied the necklace around my neck.

Event though the tension is still in the air, I should now to keep my mouth shut. But it seemed as if it has a life of its own.

"Just kill me now that you have the chance, choke me. I know you've wanted to do it for a while," I mutter kind of loudly.

I can feel him smile behind me. Even though the knot is done, he doesn't remove his hands. He just whispers in my ear.

"How can I kill someone so sweet?" W-what?

"Uh. T-thank you?" I think.

He just chuckles.

What. What was that supposed to mean?! What the hell was that about?!! Someone tell me what the hell is going on. Why the hell am I blushing?! Why is my heart beating faster?

Why am I running away?...

My brain isn't working. The few things I remember are running down the stairs, picking up my backpack from the living room, where Sesshoumaru gives me a weird look, and leaving running from Inuyasha's place.

So sweet?

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º Author's POV º

Kagome was sitting on a bench in the park. It was raining, but she didn't feel the cold water drenching her clothes.

Her wondering eyes were focusing on everything and at the same time on nothing. The song playing on her CD walkman explained everything she felt... the same song repeating itself over and over again.

"I lay strewn across the floor, can't solve this puzzle

Everyday another small piece can't be found

I lay strewn across the floor, pieced up in sorrow

The pieces are lost, these pieces don't fit

Pieced together incomplete and empty."



The water running down her face was covering the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes. Confusion was all over her. She had never been this unhappy.

People would point at her, laugh at her, mock her. But she didn't care. And now she cared. She cared about this stupid guy that she couldn't figure out. Whatever she tried didn't work out.

No matter what she did, something came up. To be honest she didn't know what the problem was. Maybe they should have never started talking to each other. Both are so different. And at the same time so alike.

Destiny must have messed up by letting them meet each other, and now it was trying to make things go back to how they were supposed to.

Shaking her head, she took out her black, over-sized sweatshirt, putting it on. She walked to her home.

What if I have no sweetness in me? And he's hoping to find some? What if he can't find what he expects, but just a plain girl who has nothing to her, but bitterness? What if he can't find anything else but... me?

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Finally a new chapter, ne? The problem this time was that I didn't knew where to go with this chapter, I have another version where Inuyasha is a demon and his secret is revealed, but I just wanted this story to be of common people, and well, the demon thing didn't fit.

Actually a little part, starting from "just kill me now..." to the "Uh.. thanks?" was real. What gave me the idea was the quote "How can I kill someone so sweet?". A boy told me that, while he was puttin' a necklace on me, it was ... weird. But I loved how it sounded, and it fit the story completely, 'coz I'm not a sweet girl – I think- and I thought that all the confusion I felt would be great on Kagome, and probably we'll never find out what Inuyasha meant, 'coz I don't know what the boy meant by saying that – and I ain't going to ask him, so.. it'll remain as a mistery... yeah.

Anyways, hope you liked the chapter, I know I did.

The Music recommendation this time is: Sugarcult "Memory"

The song is like all the other ones that had been invading the punk scene. But I really like it, 'coz well I dunno. But I think it's good. If you want something more alternative go with: Gatsbys American Dream –that's the name of the band.

BTW the lyrics are form AFI, the song is "but home is nowhere"

And that's all for today. Thanks for reviewing!!!!