READ THIS! It's important:

First of all I'm so sorry for taking so long to update, but now I have a little problem, my beta-reader hasn't answered my mails, so this chapter isn't beta-readed, so if someone is so kind to help me beta-read the rest of the story I'd really appreciate it, if you think the grammar in this chapter is just too damn bad, tell me, so I can take it off and upload it again when it is ready.

Please can someone help me? You can say so in your reviews.

Now, I hope you enjoy the newest chapter of Clowns. P

Stories with no end…

Tryin' to say the right words: "I love you…"

Not knowing the meaning behind the words: "How can i kill someone so sweet?"

Hiding by sayin' no words: "..."

The words...

My love, my especial someone, the one i care about the most, has told me several of weird quotes, that i can't understand at all. Sometimes, it seems as if he knows more than i do, or he just can see the obvious while i'm oblivious...

1.- Lovin' someone that's on the other side of the wall is too hard, it's just too hard..

We are so different. If i say black, he says white, if i say sweet, he says spicy, if i say wrong, he says right... Sometimes we just go against each other for fun, but sometimes, it really is that way, we are nothing alike, at all.

2.- If you open the wrong door, you may find sometime you don't like...

He has left me two times, by the word left, i mean stop talking to me, stop calling me, stop the unsaid relationship we have. And it seems as if it always is my fault, he always apologizes, asks for forgivness, and says... and says that he can't undertand why i put up with him, so many times. He always comes back. But at the end of this school year... he'll be gone. Gone to Utah, and there's no way he'll stay here... we both know he'll leave, but yet, we keep on, just 'cuz it is worth it.

I see a person in him that he can't see, and now i understand what that quote meant. Just like when Kagome said: "What if I have no sweetness in me? And he's hoping to find some? What if he can't find what he expects, but just a plain girl who has nothing to her, but bitterness? What if he can't find anything else but... me?"

I trust him too much, and that, makes him want to be better, and he thinks i expect him to be perfect, and he's afraid that i'm hoping to find someone and after not finding what i expect i'd leave... Stupid.

3.- Opening different windows...

That one is incomplete, i can't remember the whole quote, but still i can't understand it. Ya see... he is a very.. how to say it... poetic boy? And kinda sappy – i have to admit that- even though every time someone says: "you're corny", he says: "or.. romantic?" Kinda funny i have to say.

Anyways...

If you see him, he doesn't seem like that kind of guy. He's a little skater-ish: big hoodies, hip-hop hats, huge pants - three sizes too big for him, graffitis all over his backpack, he even made the whole school go back to our houses when we were on a field trip, coz he made a graffiti on private property. Ya know what i mean when i say, he doesn't look like the corny kind of guy?

And many more quotes, that i can't remember right now...

"My little girl, my little angel..." He calls me that, i love it.

Well, you may be wondering: "What the hell do i care about this girls love life!" Well... hehe, you don't, and you shouldn't unless you're a stalker, but all i said before has a reason.

Stories with no end...

Let's tie some untied knots, because, all that blabbering i did before will be explained at the end of this new chapter, of Clowns.


Clowns

Stay true to yourself/ Part. I

Chapter: jyu ichi

By: Charlotte Havok

Beta-reader:


Tic tic tic tic tic

People say that the sound of the ticking of a clock is tic tac… well I just listen to the tic… I'm kinda bored; hope that clears your mind of any kind of question you're asking yourself right now,

Tic tic tic tic tic

I'm staring at the ceiling, and let me tell you something… it is no fun. Right now, I'm supposed to be in the dance with Hojou… look, I'm not sad about not being able to go or anything, it's just that I barely go out sometimes, and to be honest, I was kinda excited about going… well, maybe some other time.

Sango and Ayame, insisted in stayin' with me, but I knew Sango wanted to go… I mean, she has a date, a date called Miroku. Yeah, they made up. And Ayame wanted to go just for fun, or at least that's what she told me, I think she has some other reasons, but well, I'll wait until she wants to tell me about it.

And the tic keeps sounding in the background of my room…

Loud electronic music resonates through all the gym. The bodies of teenagers move along the beats of the music even if the space is reduced to merely less than an inch of space to breathe.

School dance or not, it looked more like a nightclub scene, of course, the alcohol was reduced, but we have to be honest, one way or another it always finds a way in.

His eyes were scanning every bit of space they could, the door gym, the food tables, the little space to hang out, the dance court, everything was loaded with people, maybe she was in there but his eyes couldn't find her. Well, in that case he'll keep on searching for her.

"Are you looking for something Inuyasha?"

Lowering his gaze, he found Kikyo staring at him, a polystyrene cup in her right hand while the other was flipping her hair.

Taking slowly another sip of his drink, he didn't answer. Inuyasha looked straight ahead and found something similar to what he had been looking for: Hojou. He was her date, wasn't he?

Pushing pass the dancing people he grab him by the arm, before he lost his only clue to her.

"Where's Kagome?"

The boy just looked at him blinking. Idiot.

"Where's Kagome!"

Blink. Blink.

"Where the hell is—" And now he remembered, there was loud music, the geek couldn't hear him. Taking a few steps closer to him, Inuyasha shouted, no one else heard.

"She wasn't feeling well, she stayed at home" Hojou also shouted in response, Inuyasha just heard the last part. Letting go of him, Hojou got lost in the crowd as if he had never been there.

And in the spot where Inuyasha had once stood up in, was empty. Inuyasha was nowhere to be seen.

"Where the hell I left my keys… Kikyo. Fuck!"

Maybe I should have cleaned up my room, I feel kind of claustrophobic right now. As soon as I feel better I'll clean it up… yeah right.

I shuffle underneath my bed sheets tryin' to find a comfortable spot where I can fall asleep.

This weekend I was supposed to go with my family somewhere, I wasn't in the mood to go on a family trip, so they leave me here, in my cozy little house.

Finally I find a comfortable spot in my pillow, the sheets seem to know that everything is falling into its place for me to fall asleep; a light breeze enters through my window, the cool air of the night just makes me sleepier.

I feel myself falling into lalaland in question of seconds, there's no doubt about it, the only good thing about being sick is when you fall asleep, there's no better blessing than that one.

Don't knowing if it's just me or if I really heard the ringing of the bell in buyo's door; I pay no attention to any sound after that, probably buyo got hungry so he came for some food. Everything goes black after that, sleep has taken over me.

+ Inuyasha POV

And nothing surprises me from her room. It is just so… her. Nothing it's on its place, clothes on the floor, her desk is full of papers, and… she's in her bed, like if nothing is wrong in this world.

Slowly I enter her room, I try not to trip into anything, it is a hard task but I succeed. I finally get to the right side of her bed, and don't ask me how long I stayed there, don't ask me what was I thinking, don't ask me a thing, because I'm asking myself the same questions.

Suddenly, I see myself reflected in her eyes. Since when had she opened her eyes? I just realized now, but her face has a calm expression, my heart skips a beat, my face is blushing, a chill runs up my spine, and there is not a thing I can do to not feel all those things, Kikyo was right… she was right…

"Kagome…" My eyes must be the ones of a lost puppy, because she just smiles at me, and with her hand she caresses my cheek. Wow…

"Well, I think it wasn't just me…" I hear her whisper.

And that made absolutely no sense at all.

"You're flushed, are you feeling alright?" I see myself obligated to ask, that's the principal reason I came here for….

Why are you staring at me!

"You're also red" How am I suppose to answer that?

"B-but – don't stutter Inuyasha- That's for a different reason. I'm not sick, or at least not in medical terms… or something" What the hell am I saying!

A weird silence envelops the room; we stare at each other for a while. There is definitely a weird atmosphere surrounding us. Then, she talks, waking me up from this odd trance I fell into.

"Why don't you sit on the bed? I bet it's kinda uncomfortable to be kneeling down on the floor" She's right, I'm kneeling down, leaning in the edge of her bed, something like when a rabbit is coming out form it—Why am I still talking nonsense!

Deciding that it's better not to think anything seein' as all I'm thinking is stupid things, I slowly climb into her bed. She moves aside, making some room for me to lay on, I throw my jacket to the floor – don't think anything bad! It's just very uncomfortable to be lying down with a jacket on! Really! – And try to make myself comfortable. And as seeing that I'm a little ashamed at this is a very… odd situation, I lay on top of the sheets while she under them. I'm a good boy, give me a cookie… WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING!

I can't think straight!

"You're warm" She mumbles while hugging me as if I was a teddy bear. I bet my ears are as red as hell right now; my heart beats even harder when she lays her head on top of my chest and her breathing tickles me…

I smile.

Watching her peaceful face is a miracle, she always wears a scowl or a bored expression on her face; and in this moment she seems… happy.

And then he realized…

He didn't just like her…

Or had a crush on her…

He was in love with her…

Since when did this happen?

His hold on her got stronger, leaning his head on top of hers; he took a deep breath, enjoying the smell of her scent- even though he knew it was the smell of the shampoo.

Kikyo had been right…

"You're leaving?" Cold. Her voice was so cold, and her eyes were even colder.

"Got a problem?" My attitude didn't need more motivation to surface. I wasn't going to feel guilty for leaving her here, not when Kagome was sick in her house.

"Not at all. Besides, you're never with me" I watch her go through her purse searching for my car keys.

"Don't start Kikyo. I've always gone with you to wherever you wanted to." I run a hand trough my hair, a habit I have developed whenever I feel stressed.

"Not in a literally sense Inuyasha – she hands me the keys – What I mean is… is that you're always with her" She stares intensely at me.

I just stare back at her. She continues.

"Tell me something Inuyasha – Kikyo flips her hair and sighs, I bet she's also tired of pretending – Where are you going to? Months before you knew her, you would have never left a dance, you would have never ditched something that affects your social status. She has changed you, you're not the same.

"I don't know if that's good or bad, you're the only one that can know that for sure. But you are always with her, you're mind is always with her. You understand what I'm trying to say?"

Lowering my gaze I turn around and leave.

Shuffling of stuff.

Books falling.

And…

"DAMMIT!"

He slowly opened his eyes the light coming from the window didn't make things easier for him, while doing so he tried to recognize his surroundings. This was definitely not his room, at all.

"For god's sake you can just stay there can you!" And that voice was Kagome's, now he remembered; he fell asleep last night in her room.

"Kagome?" Of course it was her, why was he asking?

"Oh! – she quickly turned around while trying to tie her hair with a band – sorry I woke you up, it's just that yesterday I was feeling kinda claustrophobic and I'm tryin' to clean up my room… wow, that's a sentence I never thought would come out of my mouth" She said thinking more to herself than talking to Inuyasha.

"Well… I'm glad? But are you feeling better, you were with fever and—" Kagome cut him off.

"Yeah as good as new, thanks for coming by the way" And she smiled.

The sweetest smile she had ever given to him he thought.

I just stared at her, she blushed in return. Aho... While I was in trance she started to talk, but I didn't pay attention to her till I heard the name Kikyo.

"Why were you here, when you were supposed to…" She looked away from me and now her whole face was red.

"Kagome… I" I have something to tell you Kagome.

Her so kissable rosy lips. I must look like an idiot just staring at her mouth and saying nothing. She turns around and starts folding some clothes or something. She got nervous, I can tell.

I stand up and slowly approach her; she tenses when she feels my presence behind her and holds her breath.

"Go out with me" Last night I made up my mind.

She turns around, our faces really, but I mean really close. She's blushing.

"What do you mean by go out? Don't mess with me Inuyasha" Her eyes are giving me a hurt look, Kagome thinks I'm kidding.

I take one step closer, and put my hand on her cheek, her eyes still challenging me.

"By go out I mean a date, you and I. And I'm not messing with you, I ditched Kikyou last night at the dance to come and see you, I was… worried about you" I bet I'm blushing too, kuso…

"I…" She lowers her eyes, avoiding my gaze. I step back, each one again with some personal space. She looks back at me quickly as if I was going to run away.

"Look- I pick up my jacket – I'll come back at five, if you wanna go on a date with me, then we'll go, if you don't then… we'll just hang out as friends. Your choice ka-chan" I smirk at her, trying to feel not vulnerable.

But dammit, she has my fucking heart in her hands.

To be continue… (I have always wanted to say that, he he)