Have you ever felt butterflies in your stomach?
Or have you ever felt how a chill runs up your spine?
Or how the beating of your heart goes faster and faster?
Have you ever wanted to stop time?
I know I want to freeze time right now, and never end this moment.
As I feel her soft lips against mines, I can only but lost any kind of logical sense and keep kissing her.
My little Ka-chan…
Clowns
Stay true to yourself Pt.II
By: Nova
Beta-reader: Crystal-ice 919
Since he had left, the only thing she could possibly think of doing was lie on her bed and stare at the clock on the wall. Fifteen more minutes till five. Maybe he was just kidding and she was falling for it.
'Nah… it couldn't be, he looked so… sincere.' hugging the pillow to herself she kept staring at the clock.
Five minutes later the insecurity began to gnaw at her nerves. She didn't know what to do; maybe she should call Sango before Inuyasha came to her house.
"Yeah, I should do that."
In the middle of her quest to get the phone – her mother was always leaving it in the most unexpected places- a knock was heard, and without even thinking twice, she ran down the stairs to the door, tripping on her way down.
"Damn it!"
"Kagome, are you ok?" Inuyasha was right outside her door, listening to everything.
"No, not really… come in." Kagome didn't stand up from the stairs. She was, after all, still feeling kinda dizzy.
I had been standing out of her house since four o'clock. I didn't want to be late… or to chicken out at the last minute. Before it was even five I couldn't stand it anymore.
I knocked on the door.
So what if she realized I was kinda desperate? What was the big deal?
A few seconds after I knocked, a loud noise came from inside accompanied with a big "Damn it!" from Kagome.
"Kagome, you ok?" That girl should really watch her steps.
"No, not really. Come in."
Opening the door, I see her sitting on the stairs clutching her head with her hands. "Did you hit your head, Kagome?" I knelt down in front of her. Slowly removing her hands from her head, I searched for any kind of injury.
"No… I'm fine, I just got a little dizzy from the fall, but everything's ok!" I stared at her to see if she was really lying, but I saw something way better: She was blushing… she was blushing because of me. I couldn't help but grin at her.
"What's so funny?" She scowls at me, her face never losing the red color on her cheeks.
"Nothing ka-chan" I stand up and offer her my hand to help her up… and she… well, she accepted. I know it's not something amazing, but coming from her… yeah. It's amazing.
You know what I mean, right?
After a brief silence where I just stared at her and she avoided my gaze, she grabbed her jacket and just said:
"So… where are we going?"
…
…
WHAT THE HELL DID THAT MEAN!
On their way down the endless flight of stairs, neither said a word. Kagome was too busy hitting herself–not literally of course- for being so careless. She didn't know why, but she was really embarrassed in the way Inuyasha had looked at her… something was different this time.
'I can't do anything right damn it!'
Inuyasha at the same time was repeating the same question to himself over and over again: What the hell did that mean!
Wasn't she supposed to just tell him right out if they were going to start dating or just hang out?
It had completely thrown him off when she had said, "Where are we going?" and had not stated anything else.
Was she asking if they were going somewhere as two teenagers dating? Or as just two friends going somewhere to hang out?
'Confusing little girl…' He glared at no one in specific.
The date, or hang out session, whichever of these two options that they were doing, had been… relaxed.
Inuyasha had no idea as to where to take her, considering he had acted on impulse when he had asked her out. At first, he had just decided to drive around aimlessly, but soon saw a place where both could be relaxed.
"WcDonalds?" Kagome asked him when he pulled into the parking lot beside the fast food place.
"Yes." He really had no motive to bring her here, so a yes was enough explanation.
"This is really helping our capitalistic economy, but what the hell-I like their ice-cream." She took his hand and dragged him into the place.
He just smiled.
Later on, he realized it hadn't been a good idea… no, it definitely was not a good idea to give endless amounts of sugar to a girl like Kagome. He had been buying her cone after cone after cone of ice-cream, and now… he just couldn't get her to stop!
When they went back into the car, she just kept talking, and talking, and talking…
In reality, it really didn't bother him all that much. In fact, it was kind of amusing. And it definitely made the weird tension in the air almost vanish to a light sense of serenity.
"So what do you think? Is the band with those weird blue guys just freaky copies of the smurfs? Or is it the other way around?" She stared at him waiting for an answer.
He just blushed at her intense stare.
"C'mon! Plagiarism or coincidence? It's not that hard to choose! Just pick one!" And she kept staring.
Inuyasha, not understanding what she was talking about, started to laugh.
"Ok, ok. Next question!" fastening her seat belt after Inuyasha started the car, her nonsensical questions continuing on.
"Superman or Batman?"
After driving for ten minutes or so, Inuyasha was without breath. She was saying incredibly stupid things but it didn't bother him. He knew she was doing it on purpose.
"Fine, I'll stop the nonsense. Where are we going next?"
"No idea. But you just say the place and I'll take you there"
"Ok, then… turn left" Kagome smiled.
This really wasn't what I expected. I thought maybe the movies, (so cliché, I know) or the mall, (forgot, Kagome doesn't go there) but… the park? I mean… only little kids come here.
Of course, at almost seven o'clock, the place was deserted.
She walked ahead of me and sat herself on a swing. I took the swing next to her and, without noticing it, I was swinging myself back and forth.
"You like it?" Her soft voice brought me back from wherever I had gone to.
"Yeah... I haven't been on one of these things since I was kid" I stopped swinging when I noticed her watching me.
When she finally noticed I had saw her, her gaze secured itself elsewhere… or probably, as always, she was staring at nothing.
"I often come here… just to think, or just to have the swings all to myself." She laughed.
And then…
A big bittersweet feeling came over me… How could I have been so stupid? Why was I risking my friendship with this beautiful girl?
As I was watching her, the light breeze messing up her hair even more, the faraway look in her eyes. I regret what I had done in the morning… nothing was going to be the same. I had to look away from her.
It was just… painful.
"Inuyasha are you ok?" I hear her worried voice…
Am I ok?
Without even noticing it, she's in front of me. Concern evidently on her eyes. I suddenly stood up, towering her immediately. She really is short. I have to do this… I'm going to tell her that what I said earlier was just because I was mad at Kikyou... yes, its better this way.
I care too much for her to risk it.
"Kago—" I didn't get to finish my sentence.
I saw he was thinking about something, his eyes changed to a weird lilac, he wasn't happy. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something to make him feel bad?
"Inuyasha are you ok?" If I did something… please tell me. I don't want to mess up things, everything was going perfect till now.
A few minutes pass, and he doesn't answer. I did something, I'm sure I did something wrong… damn it!
I stand up, I need to look into his eyes, I need him to tell me what's wrong. He is so faraway right now, I stand in front of him, but his mind is still somewhere else… is he thinking about Kikyou?
He finally notices that I'm in front of him. He stands up and I notice that… the he is really tall! I mean… I have always known that, but… let's say now I'm realizing it, get it?
He wants to say something… I don't want him to say this was a big mistake.
I don't want to hear that he only wants Kikyou.
I don't want to hear what he's going to say.
"Kago—" I cut him off. Well… to be more correct, I kiss him.
As soon as I feel his lips on mine everything just disappears, but I forgot one little thing. I don't know how to kiss.
Now that's a big problem. I initiated the kiss, I must continue the kiss, and finish the kiss.
Believe me, I have no problem with the first step and the last step; the problem was definitely the second one!
I felt him suddenly grin against my lips. Well… the problem was the middle step, but as he finally began to kiss me, I notice that it won't be too much of a problem.
My mind went blank as I felt her lips on mine. She had grabbed my shirt and lowered me to her, and now… I can't help but grin.
And now she doesn't know what to do next. I put my right hand on her waist and with my other hand I lead her right arm to my neck. She gets what I'm doing and wraps her other arm around my neck.
I hug her more tightly against me and start to depend the kiss even more. I held her neck with my other hand and gently nipped her lower lip, pushing my tongue against her mouth. She hesitantly opened her mouth giving me full access.
She also began to explore my mouth, and damn it, I have to say, Kagome is definitely a fast learner.
I really wished mere humans didn't have the need to breathe. The need for some oxygen interrupted our heated moments and the only thoughts in my head are that I just don't want this to end… just not yet.
She bit my lip and suddenly pulled away, gasping for air.
As she held me from my neck, and I kept my grip on her by the waist, I wondered one thing…
What was I gonna say?
"Ummm…" she began to say, "so.. I guess this date is going just dandy, right?" Her face is all red, and her eyes barely made any contact with mine.
So, this was a date. I smiled and lifted her chin up so I could look into her eyes.
"Pretty damn dandy, Ka-chan." Was all I said as I claimed her lips once again.
And let me tell you something… she didn't mind in the least.
Words aren't always enough to express how we feel sometimes, even though, some people need them to be sure of something.
We have no control over things, we can't be puppeteers and control life by strings, there is just no way to do that.
However…
We must let ourselves go and make the right decisions. We must be true to our own desires, and affront the consequences that come with them; that's the only way we can control life.
We can make our own destiny.
We must never let ourselves down, because the best things happen when we don't expect them at all.
Love, friendship, everything… and nothing.
When we love someone, or when we care for someone, we go blind, so we have to be careful. There's no win-win situation in life.
I have my boyfriend, and I truly love him, but I lost two friends… some people tell me that if they left me then they weren't friends. But the truth is that, without even realizing it, I choose him over them, and even though I felt sad, and even though I had tried time and time and again to apologize, I made a choice, and I must affront it.
The choices we make; to be fake or real, to have what we desire for, or to just wait for what ever it is to come. They come at a price. We have no control over fate, but we do have control of ourselves.
From that one single kiss… a chain of unexpected events is just waiting to be unfolded.
In every act we make, there is going to be a consequence…
: End of first part of Clowns :
Ok, so after this chapter, let's say that the second season starts. Hope you like it! The chapter will continue on this fic I just wanted to separate the two parts.. umm anyways, hope I can update really soon! And hope to get lots of reviews. Besides…
This fic had its anniversary a while ago! YAY for me!
