A/N: I had a strange need to update. Don't know why. Just did. Maybe to get my mind off the horrible events on CSI and a recent (depressing) conclusion I have come to about Sara and Nick (there is no chance of them ever getting together on the show… there, I said it.) and a whole bunch of other crap. So, this chapter could be just a little bit depressing. Just a little bit. Oh hell, this whole damn story is depressing! Wow- I wonder if people are actually still reading this note. If you are, go read the story and review!!! –Goes and puts back on her sad country music-

-Emily-

Disclaimer: if I owned it, do you REALLY think I would be so depressed????

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"Hey Cath. How's the case going." Sara looked up expectantly at the woman as she entered the break room.

"Sara, you know I can't disclose information about the case to you. But I can tell you that the feds are involved."

"What?"

"Apparently something big is going down. They wont, or cant, tell me and Grissom anything." Sara's face fell. All she wanted was for justice to be served, for them to catch the bastard who murdered Nick. Hell, what she really wanted was to go back in time, and make sure Nick never went to that crime scene.

"Hey, you ok? Maybe you should go home." Catherine's concerned voice broke Sara from her thoughts.

"Shifts not over. Plus, what is there for me at home." Her voice was bitter, Sara knew it, but she really didn't care. It was true. Usually, she would go home and drink. But that was out of the question- she was pregnant, and there was no way in hell she was losing or harming this baby. Catherine stared sadly at the younger woman. She couldn't even begin to imagine the hell Sara was going through.

"Hey Catherine, Sara." Warrick greeted as he walked in to join the two ladies. He couldn't help but notice the pained expression that seemed to have become a permanent fixture on Sara's face. He looked at Catherine, who looked at him, answering his silent question: Sara was not all right. Not that Warrick thought she would be. She had just lost her best friend, who also happened to be the man she loved and the father of her unborn child.

"Hey, shifts almost over. Why don't you all go home and get some rest?" Grissom said softly as he walked into the room. Sara looked up at him; her eyes empty as she looked up at him.

"Sara, want to come over for breakfast? Lindsey would love to see you." Catherine asked. She didn't think Sara would do anything to harm herself, but then again, there was really no telling what someone would do when faced with so much grief. Sara forced a smile.

"Sure. Why not?" Sara was tired, she knew she should go home and get some sleep. She just couldn't face another day alone, sleeping alone. She missed the warmth Nick had brought to her bed.

"Great. Do you just want to follow me to my place?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, sure." Sara snapped back into reality as she followed Catherine to where the cars were parked. Ten minutes later, they arrived at Catherine's small house.

"Lindsey, I'm home."

Sara heard commotion coming from the other room before the young girl came out of her room.

"Oh, hi Sara."

"Hi Lindsey. How have you been?"

"Good." She replied. Sara smiled as she noticed the girl eyeing her stomach.

"Are you really pregnant? That's what Mom said." Sara laughed a bit as she looked at Catherine.

"Yeah."

"Can I feel it?"

"Ok. But you can't really see anything. I shouldn't start really showing for a few months." Sara looked up at Catherine's amused look. Sara felt a surge of something run through her as the young girl gently felt Sara's stomach.

"Lindsey, leave Sara alone now. Sara, you want something to drink or eat?" Sara shook her head.

"Actually Catherine, I think I will head home. I am really tired."

"You sure?" asked the older woman, her concern evident.

"Yeah. Thanks for every thing. Bye Lindsey."

"See ya."

Sara had lied somewhat to Catherine, she really wasn't that tired. But she did want to go home. She let out a relieved sigh as she pulled up to her apartment. But her feeling of content was short lived as she entered the empty apartment. She picked up the phone and dialed for some takeout.

"Your making me hungry little one." She whispered, looking down at her stomach. She walked over to the kitchen table, where the discarded paper sat from her last attempts at writing to Nicks parents. She sat down and with a deep breath, attempted to write the letter she had been dreading.

Dear Mr. And Mrs. Stokes,

You don't know me, but I knew your son, Nick. I guess first I should tell you my name. My name is Sara Sidle. I worked closely with Nick, we were close friends. Actually, in all truthfulness, we were a bit more then friends. You see, we had been dating each other for about two months when he died.

Sara paused, not quite sure what to say. What did you say to the parents of you unborn babies father? "Hey, your son knocked me up before her died." She took a shaky breath as she wiped away the tear that escaped from her eye.

I'm not really sure how to say this, but I will try. You see, right after the funeral, I found out that I was having a baby- Nick's baby. I know I should have told you in person, but I couldn't. It's hard enough writing this. I just thought you would want to know about the baby- you have the right to know about your grand child. And so you know, I was truly in love with him.

Sara Sidle

She paused for a moment before leaving her phone number. Before she could have second thoughts, she stuffed the letter into an envelope and addressed it. The week before Nick died, he had brought over a postcard from home, one that Sara still had. She slipped the letter into her small mailbox and hurried inside, not quite knowing whether or not she regretted writing that letter.

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James looked around nervously as he entered the dreary building. Here he was, his first day as a Tampa police officer. Immediately a small blonde bounced over to where he stood.

"Hello! Can I help you?" she chirped.

"No. I think I can find my way around." He said, brushing past her. He continued down the hall until he reached the chiefs office. He slowly walked in.

"You must me the new guy."

"James."

"Ah yes. James Whitman." He grimaced. Oh how he hated that name. He forced a smile as the burly man gave him his assignment.

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"Agent Todd, is James situated?"

"Yes sir. But I don't know how long he will be able to go before breaking the rules and contacting someone from his past." Reported Agent Todd as he stood across a large desk. On the other side sat a tall, slender man.

"Well, we have our team working hard on the case. Hopefully we can bring this to trial soon."

"Lets hope so, before "James" does something to endanger himself or this case."

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A/N: so, will Nick's parents get the letter? Will Sara have the baby? Will Nick's killer be caught? Will we ever learn what James has to do with all of this? And will this author ever get a bloody life? (Ha-ha, me, life. HA!) Well, if you don't review, no one is going to find out any of that. So, REVIEW!!!!!

--Emily--