Sorry it took so long to update, but I'm finally finished with the third chapter.
Disclaimer: See Chapter 1
I hope you like this chapter because I've been trying to finish it since school ended. This is the best I could do. (And please excuse my lack of poetic ability.)
THE BELL DIARIES
CHAPTER III
Tuesday, November 21
Defense Against the Dark Arts
Dear Diary,
I am so tired.
I stayed up half the night writing love notes and poetry for Oliver Wood. I know he's a guy but I'm sure even the male persuasion can get teary-eyed by some really beautiful words.
Here's some of what I've written:
Floopowder's white,
Frog legs are green.
Can you ever forgive me
For being so mean?
Newt's eye is gross,
Snape's hair is greasy,
I'm sorry I ever
said you were easy.
There once was a girl from Great Britain,
whose boyfriend she thought went out pimpin'.
Even though he is hot,
He said, "Pimpin', I'm not,"
And now, to being wrong, she's admittin'.
I know it's not worthy of Shakespeare or Picasso, but I think it's pretty decent.
I've already stuck three in his Divination Dream Book - did you know he dreams about Quidditch too? -and two beside his broomstick. I also gave one to each Fred and George to drop in his stuff sometime during the day.
Step One of "Get Oliver Wood Back" is well under way. (Ooh, I'm still rhyming.)
History of Magic
Dear Diary,
He's throwing them away! All that time spent writing those words from the heart and he's not even looking at them! What a waste of parchment. I mean, seriously, it's bad enough farting cows are eating away at the O-zone layer leading to the melting of the polar ice-caps and flooding of the planet Earth, but now my (ex-?) boyfriend is indirectly causing the destruction of the rainforest thereby ridding the world all those cute animals I've seen on the Discovery Channel - not the bugs though. Gross.
But those are muggle troubles. I have to worry about how I'm going to get Oliver Wood back. What am I going to do now that he isn't even reading the notes I gave him?
Alicia said he needs time to cool off. I guess that makes sense. He's kind of like a cake. Sweet on the outside, sweet on the inside, and totally sexy when you add candles. Not ON Oliver Wood - I meant, like, in the background or something. The candles, that is. And okay, so maybe the cake isn't sexy, but Oliver Wood so is. Even without candles.
Whoa. Major side-tracking. Back to the problem at hand, is two hours long enough for Oliver Wood to cool off? I mean, that's usually when I start to spread the frosting.
Lunch
Dear Diary,
Step Two went about as well as Step One of "Get Oliver Wood Back" - which basically means "well" is the wrong word to use.
I was sitting in History of Magic and an idea suddenly came to me - it would be totally romantic to sing to Oliver Wood - you know, like Heath Ledger did to Julia Stiles in 10 Things I Hate About You. I love that movie, by the way. I cry everytime I watch Julia Stiles break down reading her 10 things she hates about Heath Ledger - although, how you could hate anything about that guy is beyond me - ow, ow...
So, I had everything set up - the song memorized from repeated viewings of 10 Things I Hate About You, my broom at the ready so I could literally sweep Oliver Wood off his feet, and Lee Jordon controlling the background music (he owed me a favor from an incident involving Percy's bird and Miracle Whip).
The Great Hall was as busy as usual during lunchtime, but it quickly got quiet when the sound of my voice filled the room and a gentle instrumental followed.
"You're just too good to be true." Several confused faces looked around the room. "Can't take my eyes off of you." The confusion grew as I appeared in the entrance. "You'd be like hea-ven to touch. I wanna hold you so much." I, gracefully, flew down the middle aisle toward Oliver Wood. "At long last, love has arrived, and I thank God I'm alive." Halfway there! "You're just too good to be true." I landed beside him. "Can't take my eyes off of you." At "eyes," I winked and his face flushed red. YES! I made Oliver Wood blush!
I cued Lee Jordon and the da-da... da-da... da-DA-da-da music started. My hips swayed to each "da" until...
"I love you, BA-BY! And if it's quite alright, I need you, BA-BY! To warm the lonely night, I love you, ba-by!" I dropped to my knees. "Trust me when I saaaay..." I jumped to my feet again, and started belting out the words. "Oh pretty BA-BY! Don't bring me down, I pray, oh pretty ba-by! Now that I've found you," I took Oliver Wood's hand, "Stay, and let me love you, ba-by, let me looove yo-."
I would have started another chorus, but Oliver Wood shook my hand away, right then, and marched out madder than before.
Whoops.
On the bright side, most of the student body gave me a standing ovation and Dumbledore told me I should join the school's choir. I laughed because we don't have a choir.
Do we!
4:12 pm
Dear Diary,
Hagrid told us during Magical Creatures that he's selling two of these really weird-looking fish. They have sharp teeth and round, beady eyes. He said muggles often keep them as pets.
That's when I remembered Oliver Wood likes fish. He had three goldfish and a newt or something swimming around in that giant water-bowl of his. This could be the perfect get-back-together present!
I bought one pie-ron-uh and named it Harry (something about those eyes just reminded me of that nutter.) I stuck it in Oliver Wood's fish tank after class. Big mistake.
I really wish Hagrid would have mentioned that it ate other fish. I mean, excuse me for being naive, but I just thought all fish could live together happily in a worry-free community - you know, like the Brady Bunch or something. Although, I don't think I was all wrong. Harry looked pretty worry-free once all the other fish were gone.
And as if it wasn't bad enough that I killed Oliver Wood's fish, he happened to walk in just as the last of his goldfish disappeared behind a row of silver fangs.
"Katie! What are you doing here? Where are my fish!"
I don't respond well to questions, so I put my hands on my hips and retorted, "I could ask you the same."
Oliver Wood's face became very tight and he started grinding his teeth. I took this as my cue to leave.
You know, all things considered, at least he's talking to me now.
8:03 pm
Dear Diary,
Well, that was only the worst practice ever.
First off, Oliver Wood and I usually warm-up together. But since he isn't talking to me, he partnered up with Harry Potter (totally weird, I know). Alicia was warming-up with Angelina and Fred and George with each other, so I had no one to warm-up with! I had to do all the pre-practice exercises by myself. Typically, we make Harry do that - I mean, he's already a social outcast.
Then our actual practice began and I was majorly sucking because I hadn't warmed up properly. (How was I supposed to play catch correctly if I had to chase after the Quaffel everytime I threw it, followed by throwing it back to myself!) Oliver Wood kept yelling out orders, like usual, except today it was a lot of "Nice toss, Angelina," and "Great hit, Fred," for everyone else and, "You catch with both hands, Bell," and, "The hoop is over 2 meters wide and the Quaffel is barely a half! This isn't some Carny trick - aim better!" for me. I think I liked it better when he was ignoring me.
At the end of every practice, we scrimmage. Today was no different. Well, I'd finally gotten into game-playing performance and so I easily managed to intercept the ball from Alicia. George knocked a bludger out of my way so I had a clear line to the left hoop. Oliver Wood was sitting at center, watching me. I knew his style of swooping down at the last second to make the save. This meant I should aim for a different hoop - where I'd have about as much chance of making it as I would here - or get as close as possible and try to score around him. I chose the ladder. (A/N: "Ladder", "latter" - it's a pun, get it?)
I flew like a bullet for the hoop, keeping my eyes open for Oliver Wood - but he wasn't there. I slowed to a dead stop and dropped the Quaffel through the hoop - and I do mean dropped because I got close enough to just stick my arm through and drop it in. Oliver Wood just sat on his broom with a completely blank face.
"Good practice, everyone. Don't forget: same time, Thursday," he said, flying down towards the school and totally ignoring how he'd just insulted me.
You, being a diary and all, can't possibly understand how mean that was - to not even try to block someone's shot. It's like saying, "You aren't worth my energy, especially since I know I could take you anyway."
It is incredibly rude and, not just me, but the whole team was shocked Oliver Wood would do that - even to me. Especially to me.
Alicia said not to worry about it. She said he's still probably upset over the AIDS and gigolo thing.
Whatever! That's not a valid excuse for treating me like that. If Quidditch had a rule book, rule number one would be: No insulting teammates by not blocking their shots. Ahhhhhh! What a jerk. I am still fuming about the whole incident. (Incident: an event or occurance, especially of something unwanted.) In my rage, I've torn out almost a week's worth of vocabulary!
Wednesday - Verve: 1. vigor of ideas. 2. energy; enthusiasm. (Yeah, I got some verve for where I can shove a certain someone's broomstick.)
Thursday - Propinquity: 1. nearness in time or place. 2. nearness in relationship; kinship. (I am feeling no propinquity towards Oliver Wood right now.)
Friday - Sepsis: poisoning caused by the absorbtion into the blood of pathogenic microorganisms. (Poisoning you say?)
Saturday - Hypochondria: abnormal anxiety over one's health, often with imaginary illnesses and severe melancholy. (Uh... I'm out of witty remarks.)
I cannot believe Oliver Wood totally burned me like that! I mean, I wrote him poetry, I serenaded him, I even bought him an awesome fish, for crying out loud! How could he still hate me like this?
Well, forget about "Get Oliver Wood Back." It's time to initiate Project: Take Oliver Wood Down - or as I like to call it - Project: TOWD. (A/N: Yes, that's pronounced like "toad.")
10:47 pm
Dear Diary,
I've enlisted the aid of Fred and George for Project: TOWD. They said, for a small fee, I can have access to any and all of their joke shop wares.
Ahhh... I love it when a plan comes together.
Wednesday, November 22
Breakfast
Dear Diary,
I enchanted Oliver Wood's toothpaste, this morning. Fred taught it to me. He said he used it on Percy a few times. I can't imagine Percy with technicolor teeth.
We also convinced Dobby to eat his Potion's homework - Oliver Wood's, that is, not Dobby's. We soaked it in Butterbeer and told him it was garbage. He sucked it up faster than Kirstie Alley on a twinkie.
I actually can't wait for class, just so I can see Snape's reaction. To Oliver Wood's missing homework, I mean, not Kirstie Alley.
Breakfast
Hehehe... That toothpaste idea was brilliant.
Potions
Dear Diary,
Oliver Wood came to class late because he couldn't find his homework, then when he checked his room, he found Dobby still chewing on his textbook. He explained all this to Professor Snape.
Snape glared at him with the contempt of a pregnant cat, and said, "Are you implying a house-elf ate your homework?"
Oliver Wood nodded, causing several Slytherin students to snicker. (Whoa, tongue-twister. Good think I'm writing it.)
"I understand completely." The class was silent in disbelief. "Just the other day, a troll stole my podium." Everyone started laughing, although I don't know why. I mean, if a troll stole my podium, I'd be pretty upset. But he has a podium now, so I guess he got it back.
Snape gave Oliver Wood two detentions for begin late and a zero for today's assignment. He also took 10 points from Gryffindor for lying. I totally forgot he could do that. (Sorry, Gryffindor house!)
Oliver Wood noticed me smirking. I hope I haven't been discovered already. I've barely used my Weasley resources.
Charms
Dear Diary,
Somebody switched my wand with a trick wand! So, instead of practicing spells - like everyone else - I'm stuck reading from the textbook in an attempt to "memorize how the spell should be done," then practice on my own time.
Yeah, right. First of all, I have enough homework, Quidditch practice, etc. taking up all of my time, I'm not likely to be able to fit in Charms lessons, too. And, secondly, hello? I don't even have a wand right now. It's been stolen - replaced - snatched right out from where ever the last place was that I'd put it. What kind of society do we live in where someone can just take a prized possession from right under your nose? It's just wrong... and sometimes disgusting. (A/N: This is in reference to Harry's battle with a troll in Book One.)
I mean, enchanting someone's toothpaste and making that same someone's homework get eaten is one thing. Pull a disappearing act with somebody's wand is another.
I wonder who did it. I have my suspicions, but-
Hey, speak of the devil. He's walking this way. What's he got to look so angry about?
Lunch
Dear Diary,
Well, what do you think about that? Oliver Wood is under the impression I replaced his wand with a trick wand. I told him I didn't - which was the truth - not that he believed me.
"Quit lying, Katie. I know you've been pulling pranks on me all day."
I stood my ground. "I don't know what you're talking about."
He glared at me then reluctantly revealed the gay pride parade that was his mouth. I tried to control it, but I had to laugh. I mean, come on, I could actually picture Richard Simmons doing the macarena on Oliver Wood's molars.
"Okay, that was me."
"And my Potion's homework?"
I shrugged. "Okay. So, that was me, too. But that's all I did. I swear."
He looked at me like he had X-ray vision and could see through my lies, or something. Except that I hadn't told any lies, so the only thing he could see through was my school uniform - which is so perverted, by the way, that I slapped him.
He had the indignity to ask me what that was for, but I just sneered at him and said, "Oh, I think you know."
I feel good - like I accomplished something for women everywhere, or something.
Herbology
Dear Diary,
I found my wand. It was in my cloak pocket - the left one, not the right one that I pulled the trick wand out of.
I still don't know who stuck that in my cloak. I'm not completely convinced that it wasn't Oliver Wood, either. I mean, he could've had two trick wands and used one by mistake then tried to pin it on me. Or he used it on purpose to try and convince me that he was innocent of the crime since the exact same prank was pulled on him! I'm not entirely sure what I just wrote, but it sounds bloody cunning. I didn't think Oliver Wood had it in him.
Of course, I didn't think he could shove me away like a dead skunk off the highway either, but he did. And he knowingly insulted me in Quidditch in front of the team and my own face.
A nicer guy would have insulted me behind my back, like they do in Hollywood, and I'd discover it later - much to my shock and dismay - resulting in a big, public argument where we both say things we don't mean but reconcile after a couple days outside each others' arms. It would be totally Sweet Valley High, or something.
But no! Oliver Wood just subtly makes a fool of me. Geez, Oliver Wood is such an inconsiderate jerk.
(note attached in diary)
Tasks for Project: TOWD:
- leave dung bombs in OW's underwear drawer
- stick Carary Creams among the Cream Puffs on OW's nightstand
- set off Filibuster Fireworks on Quidditch pitch just before practice
- replace his Bertie Botts Beans with real jelly beans
- use Fizzing Wizbees
- confer with Fred and George as to what Fizzing Wizbees are
(end of note)
Thursday, November 23
Breakfast
Dear Diary,
Fred and George managed to accomplish all the tasks - except the one about Fizzing Wizbees. They said it was too complicated for me to worry about. Whatever. I placed first in the city-wide Bogle tournament in my hometown. I think I could take on something that sounds like the after-effects of downing 9 liters of Sierra Mist.
Anyway, I've got to figure out whoever's playing practical jokes on me. This morning I woke up with the Death Mark crudely drawn on my forehead. People started hexing me! I was nearly unconcious when someone discovered my "Death Mark" could be smeared off. It was cheap lipstick - imagine that. I prefer lip gloss myself, but I'll wear a shade of Bitter Apple or Wine Red so long as it matches my new stilettos.
The mark is still a little stained on my forehead but you'd have to look for it to see it. I hope Harry Potter doesn't see me at all today. It was bad enough when he was after me for my attention. I don't need him burning me at the stake or whatever it is that creepy, wizard boys do to bad witches.
Dark Arts
Dear Diary,
Oliver Wood asked me to forgive him at breakfast this morning. I said no, what he did was unforgivable. But really, I think I was just shocked he was talking to me all of a sudden. I mean, he did ignore me for a few days. Plus I was pulling pranks on him left and right. I didn't think he was enjoying that.
He walked away really unhappy after I turned him down. I feel really bad! It's not just that I made Oliver Wood sad, it's that I actually do want to get back together with him. I know I've been leaving dung bombs in his underwear and the like, but I still have feelings for him. And that stuff was just for revenge. I'm totally over it now!
Alicia says I should just go and talk to him. She told me that last time and look what happened. The school heard about his AIDS and gigoloism causing him to break up with me! Granted, I didn't actually follow her advice but... I don't know. I guess I'm running out of excuses.
I just don't want to talk to him. What if he yells at me? I hate yelling. My grandpa used to yell a lot. "What!" he'd say. Or "I can't hear you! Could you say it again!" It scared the bee-jeezes out of me. Especially when no one had said anything.
Maybe I should talk to him. Oliver Wood, I mean - not my grandpa. We've gotta set things straight once and for all.
...Right after lunch.
History of Magic
Dear Diary,
You know what? No, I will not forgive him just yet. I mean, he totally stringed me along for those few days he wasn't talking to me. I practically grovelled at his feet trying to get him to forgive me - but did he? No. And so I will not forgive him.
It takes a strong will to refuse Oliver Wood and I believe I'm proving that.
Divination
Dear Diary,
Oliver Wood approached me again. He said he really wants us to get back together. I told him no, again. I just can't see a future between us.
The truth is, I can. See a future, that is. I can see a perfect life with Oliver Wood, complete with a white picket fence, a few kids, and a water park in the backyard. He'd have a steady job as a dashing, European model and I'd be a stay-at-home mom complete with a permanent smile on my face. (I mean, who wouldn't have a permanent smile on their face being married to Oliver Wood?) I'd have dinner on the table by 6 o'clock every evening and Oliver Wood would pick up the kids from cello lessons and be home not a moment later. We'd be happy and loving and not about to stick Fizzing Wizbees under each others' pillows!
Oh, Oliver Wood, I'm so sorry.
Potions
Dear Diary,
I was rereading my last entry and I'm not sorry. He should be groveling at my feet like I was doing for him. It's not right that I suffered such a humiliating day trying to make it up to him when in actuality, it was his fault all along! He never did tell me where he got all that money to buy all that stuff. He never explained what exactly his job was and how he managed to get one while enrolled at Hogwarts. He never even thanked me for getting that hoard of girls off his back by making them think he had AIDS.
Maybe once Oliver Wood takes some time to really show his love for me, then - and only then - will I return to him. Pff. Oliver Wood is about as romantic as a sponge sometimes. If he doesn't figure out that I want some sign of affection soon, I might start putting up flyers.
11:03 pm
Dear Diary,
I am thoroughly wowed. I mean, I did not think Oliver Wood had it in him. He totally stole my idea, but he still did it. And he did use a different song. It would've been really tacky if he'd used the same song. Plus the special effects made my little display the equivalent to a karaoke performance gone arry.
Alicia and I were sitting at the dinner table, wondering where everyone was - it was dinner, we're talking about. Fred and George were usually the first to arrive and the last to leave. Well, our questions were soon answered when the lights dimmed and a steady beat filled the Great Hall.
"Ouga Chaka, Ouga Ouga Ouga Chaka..." The Weasley twins and Lee Jordon were strutting down between the tables bobbing their bodies to each word. They were dressed in swank, 70s attire. I was stunned just by the fact that Fred and George managed to pick an outfit worthy of GQ. (A/N: Gentleman's Quarterly magazine.)
Then, a single beam of white light streamed down upon the empty entrance way and Oliver Wood stepped into it wearing a totally vintage, blue suit, holding a mike and gazed into the crowd with a stone face. He began to sing, "I can't stop this feeling... deep inside of me." He looked straight at me. "Girl, you just don't realize... what you do to me." He started walking towards me - in a very suave manner, I might add. "When you hold me, in your arms so tight. You let me know, everything's alright." Lights from both sides of the hall lit up, startling me half out of my seat. "Ahahahah-I'm hooked on a feeling." A little tuned played in the back. "I'm high on believing." It played again. "That you're in love with meee."
He apparated in front of me - because seventh years can do that - kneeling and hovering his finger to trace my lips. "Lips as sweet as candy... their taste stays on my mind." Whoa, I didn't realize I had such an effect on the guy. Must be the strawberry lip gloss. "Girl, you keep me thirsty... for another cup of wine."
He stood up and held his arm out towards me - his other arm, of course, was busy holding the mike. "I got it bad for you, girl... but I don't need a cure." Cure? I'm not a disease. "I'll just stay addicted." So, now I'm a drug? "If I can endure." He grasped his heart like he was in pain. "All the good love... when we're all alone." He wiggled his eyebrows, making me blush. "Keep it up, girl... yeah, you turn me on." The lights did a cool strobe-thing before settling on Oliver Wood again.
"Ahahahah-I'm hooked on a feeling!" He was really convincing by this point - you know, with the veins sticking out of his neck and all. "I'm high on believing!" Is that suit his? He looks really good in it. "That you're in love with me." He knelt down at eye-level with me and snapped his fingers. The mike he was holding turned into a purple lily - ahhhh... My favorite color's lavender but I'll definately settle for purple when it's from Oliver Wood.
"So," Oliver Wood was breathing quite heavily by now, but the mike was gone so only those near us could hear him - although, the "Ouga, Chaka" was still being chanted in the background. "Will you forgive me? Katie?"
I had tears in my eyes at this point - which was really bad because I was not wearing my water-proof mascara. "Oh my gosh!" I wrapped my arms around Oliver Wood's neck. "I love you, Oliver Wood!"
Yes, I used the L word. The dreaded L word that I'd been so worried about using. But everything turned out okay. I don't think I scared him off like I'd initially thought might happen upon saying it. We have a date tomorrow night and he also asked me to attend the Yule Ball with him. That's not the signal of a fleeting doe, is it?
Obviously, Oliver Wood has a much better hold on this commitment thing than even I do - and I've read all those self-help books! (Thanks a lot, Dr. Thomas A. Harris, M.D. Yeah, I'm OK. Are you sure you're OK?)
Oliver Wood and I spent the rest of the night communicating - you know, like we should've done since the beginning? Well, it turns out that he didn't even spend much on some of the stuff he gave me. Not that he stole it. I just mean, well, like the watch - he got it as a very early Christmas present from his grandmother who seemed to think it would look "very lovely on his thin figure." Okay, she obviously hasn't seen him lately because he does not have a "thin figure." I would say he is "well rounded," and I am not speaking metaphorically. Oliver Wood thought it was too feminine for his tastes - which I totally agree with since there are little hearts engraved around the numbers - so he gave the watch to me, thinking I'd get better use of it.
The Word-of-the-Day calender he actually did buy me, but at clearance price seeing as how it was already November. I guess I could've figured that out - I mean, who sells two-month calenders?
The bracelet that he got for me during our Hogsmeade outting was the only item he bought for me in doting-boyfriend-fashion, which kind of says to me that he really isn't spending the mass amounts of money on me as I'd thought he was. But it still didn't explain this supposed job he managed to maintain between school and Quidditch.
"Well," he looked around like he didn't want anyone to overhear, "I've been working for Filch."
"Filch?" I didn't say this very loudly - since he didn't seem to want other people to know - but he shushed me anyway.
"I've been helping him with some... stuff, for about a month now. He's been paying me... enough. It's not gigolo work and I do not have AIDS."
This was still a very vague answer and I asked him to give more details but he wouldn't give more specifics than that. I decided not to push it - seeing as how we had just made up after a four-day separation (I'm counting today because we didn't reconcile until supper).
Friday, November 24
Divination
Dear Diary,
Oliver Wood and I ate lunch together again. It was a hard week not being able to eat lunch across from the boy I love - yes, love! I'm really enjoying this word. Although, I should probably tone it down some. I've received a few funny looks from the first-years - and they're the ones who usually get the funny looks.
That Death Mark is finally going away, but instead, I woke up to a wet bed! After a decade and a half of not wetting the bed, I was kind of shocked to discover soaked sheets. It was soon apparent, however, that someone had just dumped a bucket of water on me while I was sleeping.
Okay, this practical joke thing is getting pretty old. I seriously freaked out there for a second. It's not fun to discover wet pajamas when you're 16. Also when you're shrieks wake up you room mates bringing even more attention to the supposed "accident." I reassured everyone that it was a practical joke, but I think Alicia is the only one who believes me.
This sucks. I wish this prankster would get off my case and terrorize someone more deserving - like Marcus Flint who still glares at me whenever I hold Oliver Wood's hand. Maybe I'll ask Fred and George to help me out, even if it didn't work out quite so well last time. They're still the prank masters, after all.
You know what I totally forgot about until Oliver Wood brought it up? The Yule Ball! I'm usually on top of this. I mean, it's like the only party Hogwartz has! How did I forget? Well, anyway, I'm taking Alicia and Angelina out to buy some dresses tomorrow. I'd go tonight but Oliver Wood and I have a date - finally!
I'm not really sure what he's got planned for tonight. I'm, of course, assuming he has something planned. I certainly don't. We've been to Hogsmeade a few times so I would think that's out. We played chess that one time and it was a complete bust. We went to that little-league Quidditch match, but I think it'd be dangerous to take me there again - too many cute asian children. I ran out of fruit so we can't throw it anyone again - besides, I think they've figured out where we were firing it from because I've seen teachers occasionally patrol that section. So, that pretty much leaves us nothing to do.
I've decided not to be worried about it. Oliver Wood is very creative and, therefore, will have something magical - no pun intended - planned for us. I'm sure of it.
Arithmacy
Dear Diary,
I questioned Oliver Wood again about his involvement with Filch. He gave me no more information than yesterday. It worries me that he won't reveal to me what he's doing. Doesn't he trust me?
Alicia says it's hard for him to trust me right now, especially since I recently let it out that he was a gigolo with AIDS when, in fact, he was not. I guess that makes sense, but it really doesn't put my mind particularly at ease. I mean, how can we fully commit to this relationship if he's not trusting me?
Alicia also mentioned how I'd just revealed to her that he was working for Filch which was exactly what Oliver Wood asked me not to do. This also gives him a reason not to tell me. Yeah, right. How could he not expect me to tell my best friend? At least I'm not parading it down the hall with a huge banner like I've heard certain bleached-blonde, evil third-year has done. (Percy told me about it after he'd confiscated the banner.)
Well, in any case, I think I'm going to have to find out what Oliver Wood is doing, one way or another. Alicia says this will lead to more trouble. I think it might, too, but I'm willing to risk it in the name of love.
Still in Arithmacy
Dear Diary,
Oh my gosh! It has occured to me that Oliver Wood could be like a superhero or something. It would totally explain the not telling me what he's doing every night, athleticism, and that save-lives-for-the-well-being-of-the-planet personality. Okay, so I kinda made that last one up. But I have seen Oliver Wood rescue a little girl from a near-fatal collision with a bludger.
I wonder what his back-story is. I mean, Batman's parents were killed in front of his innocent eyes. Superman was sent to Earth after his home planet of Krypton, and everyone on it, exploded. The Flash - one of them, anyway - had a shelf of chemicals fall on him after a lightning bolt struck it down - I am not going to explain that. So, Oliver Wood must have some sort of tragedy/life-changing event to make him crusade each night fighting for justice in some technicolor tights (his teeth have regained their usual pearly shade, by the way.)
This could totally put a crutch in our relationship again. And it was just picking itself up!
I think I'll confer with Alicia before I make any kind of assumption.
(note taped in diary)
I think Oliver Wood is a superhero.
What!
What do you mean, "what"? I wrote it down.
I mean, what are you smoking, because there is no way Oliver Wood is a superhero.
But what about that job he won't tell me about? And you know I don't smoke. That is like, so bad for your complexion.
Katie, maybe he just doesn't want you to know because it's embarrassing or illegal or something.
Illegal! Are you suggesting Oliver Wood is one of the bad guys?
No. I just mean it could mean he's doing something that the Ministry of Magic doesn't want students doing. You know how they are. They're the ones who instilled that "no magic outside of school" rule.
I still don't follow.
Maybe he can do something that Filch can't. He's a squib, you know. He can't do magic.
Then why doesn't he just ask one of the teachers?
Maybe Filch is embarrassed to admit to Dumbledore that he can't do something because he was born without magical abilities.
So he hires a student?
Okay, so my theory isn't water-tight, but it's better than your "superhero" idea.
Hey, that idea isn't completely unbelievable.
Superheros are fictional characters!
So are we! (A/N: Haha... I just had to put that in there. Pretend she didn't say that.)
So what? It could happen.
Alicia?
(end of note)
Potions
Dear Diary,
Alicia won't talk to me. She says she's tired of my antics and needs a well-deserved vacation. Whatever. I think she's suffering from PMS. I know that's totally hypocritical of me - since I really hate whenever someone of the female persuasion gets mad and it's excused with, "They can't help it - it's that time of the month." What a bunch of stupid, demeaning...
Okay, I retract my earlier statement. Alicia is not suffering from PMS, she just feels angry - like the rest of the human race does sometimes. And it probably is because of my "antics." I tend to jump to conclusions a lot.
Maybe I should just let this whole boyfriend's-job-thing go. I mean, he told me he's not sleeping with other girls for money, so I guess I can rest assured.
(note to self: look up "antics.")
Dinner/supper
Dear Diary,
When I told Alicia I've decided to let the Oliver Wood keep his job a secret, she started talking to me again. Which was very beneficial since I seemed to have completely zoned out during Potions and I have no idea what the homework was.
Well, the unknown, wand-switching, face-painting, and all-around-pain-in-the-neck culprit has struck again. This time, he has poisoned my water - yes, my water. (Is nothing sacred to this lunatic?)
I was discussing the final level of Zelda: Ocarina of Time with Angelina - have you seen Ganondorf. Can you say, "Extreme Makeover"? - when I took a sip from my water bottle - which I always carry around with me because you never know who's been sticking their mouth over those public drinking fountains. (Gross!) Anyway, I took a sip and was horrified to discover a tingly sensation on my tongue. Carbonation! Someone had switched my ice cold Aquafina with a bottle of bubbly Diet Sprite. That is like, so bad for your skin! I mean, at least it's diet, but still, I could totally break out in a day or two.
I'm not sure what to do any more. Okay, so I really haven't done anything yet, but I'm at a loss for the correct course of action. It's not like the old Mario Bros. games for NES where you can only take one path or it's Game Over. I'm at Game Over and I'm still losing life points! There's no mushrooms or 1ups for me. No, sir, I've been ambushed by the Koopa Troopas - beaten by the boss - swallowed by that big fish in level 4.
Okay, so enough with the video game analigies analogees anl- references. I am at a complete loss of ideas as to how to handle this guy who's obviously obsessed with ruining my life.
Gasp! What if he destroys my Star Trek action figures collection!
7:02 pm
Action figures are safe. I've hid them in my Easy Bake Oven. Don't worry, I took out the batteries. Must nowfreshen up for date with Oliver Wood.
Just After Midnight
I love Oliver Wood. He is such a good boyfriend. Definitely more romantic than a sponge.
For our first date since our semi-break-up, he brought me to the library. Totally unromantic and I was shocked he'd actually taken us to a place with dusty, old books and zero heating - even at this point in the winter.
He led me to the Fiction section in the back where we caught Percy and Penelope Clearwater making out. (And all this time I thought Percy went to the library to study.) They quickly dashed off to the Historical Landmarks section muttering something about their Ancient Ruins project. As if. Percy doesn't even have Ancient Ruins.
Anyway, Oliver Wood started scanning the books up and down the rows. Finally, he pulled out this red and brown book with gold, lacey print. It was a book of fairy tales, which I had assumed he was going to read to me. Not that I'm against fairy tales or anything, but the last I was read to, I was 4 and needed something to put me to sleep. This was not an evening I'd envisioned for Oliver Wood and I - at least not until we had children.
But that wasn't his plan. Oliver Wood opened the book to a page he must have bookmarked. It was Aladdin and the Magic Lamp - only my favorite Disney movie ever! He set the book on a shelf and took my hand. With his other hand - which held his wand - he tapped the book three times, chanted something that sounded like "toupee string beans" and we were suddenly transported into the book!
It was so cool. I got sand in my Doc Martins, but it was still totally cool.
Oliver Wood led me into one of those clay houses I've seen in National Geographic and he pulled out this purple tapestry. My first thought was, "Ew." I mean, you could still see butt marks from the last guy that sat on it. But Oliver Wood did another little spell and the fabric became as vibrant as when it was first made - or so I assume because I was not there when it was first made - and it started floating! That's right, Oliver Wood took me on a magic carpet ride.
Magic. Carpet. Ride.
I have the BEST BOYFRIEND EVER!
We flew past that big palace the Sultan lives in. That was way trippy seeing it not in cartoon form. Then we flew over the desert - which is actually very large when seen from an aerial view - and saw this guy riding a camel. We filled up the water-balloons I had in my pocket - you never know when a water war is going to break loose - and filled them up in this narrow river. Then we bombed that guy riding a camel with the balloons. It was a total Kodak moment. He looked like the sky was falling or something.
Anyway, we flew around some more, water-bombing other innocent bystanders and occasionally stopping to "study" like Percy and Penelope. But apparently the spell only lasts until midnight - kind of like Cinderella and her slippers - so we were zapped back into the library with a rude plop and slight heartburn.
Oliver Wood and I had to sneek back into our dormitories because it was well past curfew. We were almost caught by Filch - and I could've sworn he'd seen us - but he looked the other way and we made our escape into the Gryffindor common room.
I can't believe Oliver Wood took me on a magic carpet ride! I mean, I know we ride on our brooms all the time but it's totally different on carpet. For one thing, there's way more cushion. I can't tell you the number of times I've had to sit on ice after a hard Quidditch match. So not fun.
Good? Bad? Ugly? Please review. To those who have reviewed. Thank you and please review again. : )
I am aware that there are several inconsistancies in my story - such as the timeline inreference to Fred's and George's prank inventionsand the Yule Ball, but it's a fictional story so cut me some slack. And I know that they've never been able to transport into a book in the Harry Potter books, but seriously, what do witches and wizards do in their free time? Except save the world from Lord Voldie's domination? I had to come up with something. Well, anyway, my point is to just go with it. It'll be more enjoyable that way. I suppose I could've put this at the beginning, you know, before you read the story. But, whatever.
Also, one last note. My other story, Three's Company Story I and II with Tom Riddle, Oliver Wood and Percy Weasley, is simply not being read. It's just not right because those stories are brilliant and I encourage you all to read them. So, right after you review this story, make sure you go and do that.
Thanks for reading. : )
