Here ya go, jack...
Thank the Lord for Thermopolis. Once again., she has saved my sanity. Tonight she is saving me from microwave mac and cheese and listening to Lilly waffle on about Boris and how great he is. How she can see past his food-filled retainer and tucked in sweater is beyond me. Sometimes I doubt we're even related.
So after bidding my slightly neurotic sister a fond farewell, I headed over to the Loft for some actual stimulating conversation and hopefully a better meal.
When Mia opened the door I let out a whistle. She was wearing a tiny slip dress, and I was wearing my old jeans, a Van Morrison shirt and my worn out Converses. Not exactly in the same field as Mia.
Was I supposed to dress up? I thought this was a casual night of movies and food, not like a dress up thing. If I'd known I could have worn that new shirt with the ruffles I got the other day. It's a little out there, but totally cool. It's retro.
"Um, my mom was cleaning out her closet and had me try it on and I just haven't taken it off yet," she muttered, probably feeling embarrassed.
I smiled at her and contemplated going home to grab my shirt, but I don't think she's ready for it yet. In fact, I don't think the world is ready for it. "It looks nice, but you don't want to be uncomfortable watching the movie, do you? You might get chilly."
She ran to get changed and returned a minute later wearing sweats. Much better. After all, it's not as if she has to impress me or anything.
She led me into the kitchen where a plate of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a pitcher of milk were waiting. YUM, I love dipping these sandwiches in milk. Sure, it's messy, but so yummy. Lilly and I used to do it as kids, and I'm sort of yearing for the good ol' days recently. Call me nostalgic.
We brought the food into the TV room and she announced we'd be watching Return of the Jedi. See why I can't bear to lose this girl? She knows me too well. And she totally caters to my needs. In all ways but one, really.
"Ooh, Harrison,"I said approvingly. "Good choice."
She looked at me strangely for a second, probably because I'd licked my lips as I'd said 'Ooh Harrison.' Maybe I should lay low the wholeboy-lovin' thing while she still gets used to it.
The movie started and I realised WHY I love this movie so. Two words, or rather three if you include 'and'. So three words: Luke and Han.
Ah, it's like a double fest of the ultimate man! And there's LIGHT SABERS too!
The only thing that comes close to this is Pirates of the Carribean, with Johnny and Orlando. But sword fights just don't pass muster.
Finally though, the movie ended and the credits started to roll. Time to tell Mia again how much she means to me. After all, I can't have her thinking I don't appreciate her and her friendship.
"Mia…" I said, placing my hand gently on her knee. "You've been so cool about all this. I mean, I've only told you and Felix, but I guess I've learned who my true friends are, right?"
She nodded. "Wanna come see my Buffy action figures?"
FINALLY! Someone who REALLY speaks my language! Is this girl perfect, or what? It really is too bad I don't feel more than friendship for her.
We walked into her room but she didn't turn on the lights, claiming they're burnt out. Fair enough. I know I can never be bothered changing my light globes. I use the pink glow from my night lamp to see by until I can be bothered...or until I can coax my dad into changing them for me.
I've never been much of a 'man about the house.'
"So, where are the action figures?" I asked, looking blindly around the dim room. I saw her lamp and wondered why she didn't turn that on, but it came suddenly clear when she stood in front of me and kissed me, pushing me gently down onto the bed behind me.
I can't say that I had the noblest of reactions. I should have pushed her away straight away, I should have made it more clear that I LIKE BOYS. But I didn't. Instead, I let her kiss me, and even kissed back admittedly, for about a minute.
I don't know why I did it. I guess it just felt nice to have a pair of lips pressed up against mine. And Mia does have soft lips.
When I finally came to my senses though, I pulled away and asked what the hell she was doing.
"Uh…" she started stammering as I sat up, pushing her off me.
"Are you trying to seduce me?" I asked, comprehension dawning on me.
"Um, maybe?"
Holy shit. This is so not good. "I thought we were clear on everything."
"We are, it's just…"
"It's just what?" I asked, still trying to understand where I went wrong. Did I not thank her enough for being SUPPORTIVE of me. Maybe I didn't make ENOUGH gay comments.
"Well, maybe this gay thing is just in your head?"
IN MY HEAD? I WISH! If this was all in my head then I'd still have a best friend. I'd still have the hair on my legs and not have to wear pants all the time!
"Mia, I'm just now starting to accept this. Do you think I'm pretending to be homosexual as a joke? For shits and giggles? I didn't lose my best friend for fun. And I'm not freakin' depressed all the time because it amuses me. This is real and I thought you understood."
Her eyes filled with tears and I almost choked out a few myself. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"So you planned all this?"
She nodded and I groaned inwardly. "But why?"
Is she trying to ungay me?
"Because I still like you and…and…I don't know."
"It just seems like every time we hang out, you feel the need to kiss me. And every time I have to turn you down. And I hate upsetting you. But you're not making any of this any easier on me, Thermopolis."
"I'm sorry," she whispered, shuffling her feet. "I…wasn't thinking. Of you, that is. I mean, I kept telling myself that I really liked you and we had to be together, but if I had actually stopped and thought of what was best for you, I probably wouldn't have gone through with it."
"Probably?" Great. "Why do you like me so much anyway? I'm not Josh Richter."
"Well, I've decided Josh isn't my type."
"Mine either."
She smiled and sat next to me on the bed. We got to talking, and everything seemed okay in the end. I certainly think I've scared her off trying to seduce me any time soon. Especially with that comment about George Clooney I made. I think I scarred her for life.
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