Walking back into school after all the hullabaloo yesterday wasn't what most sane people would call a picnic.
If people are going to talk about me, I would definitely prefer for it to be something like "Ooh! There struts Michael with the hot ass and gorgeous lashes! Quick, where's the fire extinguisher? Because he's on FIYAH!"
Sadly, the chatter seems to have more of an "Omigod, gay alert! Better turn around quick before he starts scamming on my goods" ring to it.
Thermopolis was first to brave the flames and come strike up a conversation with me.
"You'll never believe what happened!" she squealed, looking positively beside herself.
Um, some idiot came out to a school full of close-minded, beer-swilling hypocrites who shower together like every day and then look at me, a guy who strangely enough lacks the experience they have with naked dudes, in disgust?
I decided to humor her. "What?"
"I spoke to—"
She never got to finish her thought, as the crowds parted and I was just about blinded by sheer perfection.
MAX!
I bit my lip to keep from shrieking in glee, especially when he—hold onto your seats, ladies. Gentlemen, you may hold my hand—WALKED RIGHT UP TO US.
Even something as casual as "Hey, what's up?" from the god had me inwardly quivering.
Thankfully, Mia answered as I tried to compose myself. Which I highly doubt is even possible. How do I collect these things and stick them back together when I don't even know what I'm made up of? I mean, it took me seventeen years to pick up on the 'gay' bit. What else is inside of me? Firefighter? SPACE RANGER?
"Um, you're Michael, right?"
Visions of galactic battles ending with a strapping young astronaut extending the hand of friendship to surprisingly cheerful extraterrestrials came to a screeching halt.
He…knows…my…NAME!
God, why can't I be called something fabulous, like Rico?
"Yeah, uh huh," I stammered, my knees trembling. "I'm Michael."
When I die, I want it to be etched on my grave "Smooth Talker, Smooth Walker, and Oh, What a Butt!"
Though the truth reads something like "Jive-Ass Turkey."
I trained my eyes on the ground as Max kept talking. "Oh, great. Because, um, Principal Gupta said she'd assigned you to help me out around the school. You know, with directions and all."
Holy shit! Hasn't Principal Gupta ever seen me read a map? Of course she hasn't. Because I DON'T KNOW HOW.
"Sure!" I squeaked. Wait, slow down, cowboy. I. Am. Cool. "I'll be your guide or whatever."
Max broke out into a beautiful, white smile. "Great! So can I walk you to your locker? We can talk."
I gulped, trying not to take the words in the way I wanted to hear them. Ya know, where the day ends in a playful romp between my sheets?
I walked along with Max, hoping my leisurely stroll was more attractive than stunted and Igoresque.
"So…where'd you move here from?" I said, attempting to break the awkward silence.
"Santa Monica," he said. "My dad's office transferred him to this branch. I don't know whether I love it or hate it yet. The people here seem kinda…"
"Overbearing? Closeminded? Cold? Unfeeling?"
Max chuckled. "I was gonna say 'uptight,' but yours works too."
"Oh, yeah," I said, laughing weakly. We had reached my locker and I started to fiddle with the combination, relieved to have something to do with my hands. "You Californians and your sunshine and your laidbacky-ness."
"Longtime sunshine," sang Max softly.
I froze, swiveling around slowly to face my forbidden crush. "You know Songs from the Black Hole?" I said in a hushed voice.
His entrancing eyes crinkled in merriment. "'Course I do. Weezer's stashed away first attempt at their second album. But I do love me some Pinkerton."
"Why bother? It's gonna hurt me. It's gonna kill when you desert me," I sang, laughing though I felt like bursting into tears.
"I'm a lot like you," wailed Max, his total adorableness making up for the 'can't carry a tune in a bucket' factor. "So please, hello! I'm here…I'm waiting…"
I grinned shyly at him and threw my books into my bag. Maybe things wouldn't be so awful. At least not with another Weezer fan to pal around with.
Alas, 'palling' is all we shall do.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
As the day wore on, Max and I found more in common with each other, and the cloud hanging over me alternated between brightening and condensing.
I can't like him this much! Besides being extremely intense and awkward to be around him, you can only imagine how much concentration I have to put into not shoving him into the nearest janitor's closet and making a man out of myself…with a man.
I'm thinking one of the brighter points of being gay is that I run no risk of knocking up girls or getting preggers myself. Bring on the whoredom.
This can only get worse, I thought, when Max made plans to come over and catch up on the Calculus he was behind on after school.
We walked along slowly, chattering on about Jar Jar Binks, bane of my existence, and how Harrison Ford should totally speak at graduation.
"Lucky me," said Max as we stepped into the elevator in my building. "I've found the coolest guy in school."
I giggled helplessly, slumping against the wall of the small enclosure.
"What are you laughing about?" said Max, starting to chuckle too.
"Um, I'm so not cool. Ask anyone."
"Like I'd listen to them."
And here's where it all ends. Obviously, I've been fooling myself all day into thinking that I'd found a great guy to chill with (platonically, mind you) while the rest of the AEHS population was hatin' on a brother. But that was only 'cuz he didn't know! He probably thought the 'HOMO' on my locker stood for some 'popular' club I was part of. "Heroic Operations Mend Organs' or something, to prepare for my future career as a world-renowned surgeon. Regaining my composure, I stood up stiffly and walked out the elevator doors as they slid open, hoping I could get out these next words and then get inside as quickly as possible.
"Maybe you should," I said quietly. "Obviously you missed out on the latest."
"What's that?"
"I'm kind of…well, I like guys, if you want the short and short of it. Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable or whatever. I haven't been hitting on you and I won't try anything and I'll steer clear of you from now on if that's what you want. So…bye."
Flinging open my door, I ran into the apartment and threw myself on the couch, gulping and sobbing and trying not to imagine what it would be like to be with Max.
But I couldn't help it. I totally felt his breath on my neck. His fingers in my hair. His thigh pressed against my thigh.
"Michael, I wanna talk to you."
JESUS CHRIST! Here I was, thinking Barney had had some profound affect on me, and I wasn't even making that stuff up. For once, reality seemed to play in my favor.
Unless Max is a transvestite or something.
"Hmm?" I sniffled.
He pushed back my bangs, a wide smile on his face. "I didn't miss out on the latest. Remember? I've been hanging out with the most gangsta kid in school all day."
I couldn't even enjoy the image of myself with a gat and a sweet ride, as I was totally puzzled as to why Max said it in the first place.
He licked his lips, my eyes following his tongue somewhat pervishly.
"I like you," he whispered.
Thinking I had misheard him over the drumming of my heartbeat, my eyes begged him for the cold, hard truth. At least it wouldn't hurt me in the long run. "I'm gay," I reminded him.
"Goddamnit!" he said, his voice breaking. "If you weren't so freaking cute when you're confused, I might have to tackle you."
"Huh?" I asked, totally not trying to turn him on. I swear!
But Max just grinned and with surprising strength, pushed me down flat on the couch.
My breath quickened, especially when he straddled me, his tan palms pressing firmly against my chest. "Let me clear this up for you," he said in a sultry tone. "You like guys? I…like…guy. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but you're a guy. The guy. Understand?"
My heart was pounding for entirely different reasons this time. "Maybe explain it one more time."
And he complied, but with a different teaching method. One that involved his scratchy cheeks rubbing against mine, his bangs falling into my eyes, and most importantly, his lips brushing mine every which way.
Wanna know the greatest part? Besides the kiss, of course. Afterwards, he totally sat there and held my hand while I fiddled with my calculator with the other and tutored him. He didn't leave! He didn't push me off in disgust (which would've been tough, seeing as how he was on top of me)!
I think I should be awarded a freaking medal for actually being able to lecture about triangles or whatever at such a time. Even though all I could hear was that 2Gether song. You know the one. I know my calculus. It says U + Meequals Us…
This was most likely because Max was singing it softly under his breath.
I heard a key scraping the lock of the front door and quickly slipped my hand out of Max's, throwing him a nervous smile. Which, fortunately, he reciprocated.
Lilly was standing before us the next minute, along with none other than Thermopolis. They gaped at us, but I couldn't find it in me to be too embarrassed. Not when I was ecstatically happy at the same time.
I told them that we'd just been studying, but they didn't seem to buy it. Uh, don't they see the calculator? It's front and center! Just like…Max's hand on my knee.
As soon as the girls left the room, I made an ambitious attempt to really buckle down and get some studying done, but just as we were actually getting through number one, Max informed me that he had to be getting home for dinner.
"I'll call ya tonight," he said at the doorway, pecking me on the lips.
I'm sure my entire face turned bright red, contrasting sharply with the mile-wide smile on my face.
I'M…SO…HAPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYY!
I floated into the kitchen where Thermopolis was gulping down some agua.
"Max just leave?" she asked.
I bit back a smile. "Uh huh."
Max. My Max. Max Moscovitz. Michael Broderick. Max and Michael 2Getha 4Eva.
Mia was watching me with a strange look on her face. Christ. What must she be feeling right now? I mean, hopefully she's over that thing she had for me. I'd hate if she, the only person who would be, couldn't be happy for my new relationship.
"We were just studying," I assured her.
"I know," she said, though her smile told me exactly what she knew. And that she was okay with it.
Phew.
"I mean, it's not as if anything was going on…"
"Okay!" she laughed. "I believe you."
"Because it's not even as if…"
She interrupted whatever nonsense I was about to spew out, saying, "It's okay. You don't have to explain yourself to me. But you can tell me about it later."
Now I couldn't help but giggle. "How do you know there's anything to tell?"
It's not like I mack and reveal. Or however that adage goes.
Review! It might help me remember how to update Forever.
