Chapter 12 – A Question and a Plan

Merry pulled his dangling legs to his chest while his hands were busy smoothing front the front of his shirt that had creased badly over the time. Roving his eves over his clothes made him realize one thing. He had not bathed or changed for all of these days, since they left Bree. Even Frodo's condition was better off than his. Merry had doused Frodo in buckets of water in that blasted room at the inn. Then it was with his own hands again had Merry, rather lovingly, washed his cousin with the warm water from the river.

Merry blinked away tears brimming in his eyes as he remembered the peace and joy he felt while bathing Frodo. Merry was certain Frodo had cherished every minute of it. Merry missed those moments very much when Frodo still wanted to listen to him, to talk to him. No matter how wrong the reason. Or how wrong the situation.

The hobbit could also see that Frodo had been well taken care of by the elves from look of it. Frodo had appeared so clean and smelled so pleasantly. Apart from the paleness of his face and the bruises and cuts on his body, Frodo could be thought to have been whole again, back to his old self. Had he not been so silent…

Merry brushed his hair back with one hand and found that it was tangled and felt heavy with dust and grease. He looked up to meet Elrond's gaze. Unknowing to the hobbit, the elven lord had been following all his acts, and frowned.

"You need a bath," he contemplated. "We cannot leave him like that, can we, Bilbo?"

Merry's eyes moved from Elrond to Bilbo. The elderly gentle hobbit stared at him and something stabbed his heart. He still could not believe it that he had been facing Saradoc and Esmeralda's son. Merry looked completely different – thin, filthy, wretched. Despite things he had heard, Bilbo pitied him immensely.

"No… we cannot." His voice came out, sounding far and withdrawn. Of course they could not. He could not. It was his own nephew, for Eru's sake. As much as he wanted Frodo to return to how he had been, Bilbo also longed to see Merry go back to his former self, merry and playful.

Which seemed to be too much to expect right now.

Bilbo's words only worsened Merry's condition. They undid him utterly. Feeling more wretched than he had already been, Merry broke into sobs. His legs tightened up and his arms snaked around them, curling up into a ball in that big chair. The poor boy was shaking helplessly, wrecked by the violent cry of distress.

"What – what can I do to mend everything?" was heard amongst his keening. "How can I undo things?

VVVVVV

Something in Frodo's eyes reminded Gandalf of an untamed beast that stared triumphantly over its future prey. Frodo looked exactly like that when he finally opened his eyes, having stopped his soft chant of I'm weak. Now directly he stabbed the grey wizard with his sharp gaze, ignoring a loud, surprised gasp from Sam..

"I'm fully aware now," Frodo said, loud and clear. The voice startled Pippin, who had been asleep nuzzling at his back. Now Pippin automatically drew back, crawling as fast as he could and left the bed. Gandalf motioned him to stay away from Frodo, out of the room if necessary. But Pippin shook his head quietly. No. Whatever happened he had to stay. For Frodo's sake.

Frodo sat himself up, straight, not leaning on the headboard of the bed. Sam had joined Pippin so now it was only Gandalf that stayed close to the possessed hobbit

"What are you aware of, Frodo?" Gandalf offered a hand to calm Frodo. The hobbit warded it off coldly.

"I am aware that I'm not weak. Never weak."

"No, you aren't," agreed Gandalf. "You're the most unyielding hobbit I know."

The eyes softened.

"Really?"

Gandalf nodded.

"You came out of the harsh moments alive. You outlived everyone that have done you harm."

The eyes froze again.

"I'm strong," said Frodo flatly. "I am – I was…"

The wizard touched his cheek gently.

"You were. You are. You will always be strong."

Frodo blinked his eyes ever so swiftly, and his voice started to waver.

"But I was… I was not strong." He sounded as if he were talking in a dream although his eyes were stuck to Gandalf. "I let them – I let them!"

Gandalf thought Frodo might collapse anytime, but he was wrong. The hobbit sat still. The expressions in his eyes changed from pained to sad to nothing.

"I let them then but I will never do that again!" His voice boomed at the last word. Pippin jumped a little in surprise. Gandalf gave him a brief glance.

"That is good, Frodo. You will never let them hurt you again for you are stronger now." Gandalf slid to sit on the bed. Frodo nodded, full of confidence.

"That's right. I'm strong now."

"So what would you do next, Frodo?" Gandalf inquired further, knowing that he could not let this great opportunity to talk Frodo to awareness pass.

"I will punish them," replied Frodo after some moments. "I will start with Merry."

TBC

Coriandra: I didn't get this review, oh my goodness! Thank you, thank you for this. Yes. I'm feeling sorry for Merry, too, now.

Skye12: I hope this time you got the notice. Hm, I wonder why everyone seems to want to torment Frodo. Poor darling!

FrodoBaggins87: Here we go! Though it's quite short. sniffs

Astron-Meares: It's a bit fast and a bit short, I know. I find a little difficulty with this psychological thing. Any help?

Trust No One: I should thank you for all your reviews to all my fics so far! I'm not complaining. Hugs!

AN: To Emma, as always, I love you for all your help and your nice words and your support. To all the readers, I'm so grateful for all the reviews and comments and criticism. I need them all! Now what do you think about the end of this chapter? Any hidden desire you want to extend to me?