Hello again! It's me! I have finally come back with a lovely new chapter. Heh heh heh. I read over my entire story, and I'm shamed to say, that I have bad grammar. There. I said it. Bad Grammar! I wish I could correct everything and just go one. But that would probably take me weeks and weeks of re-editing and that wouldn't be a good thing to my readers. So I'll try to avoid the bad writing. Okay. Here is Chapter 19
Dream A Little Dream.
Chapter 19: Garden of Roses.
I know. I know. I told myself that I wouldn't get close to Gippal. And I'm not!. It's just that...well, if I do disappear, (hopefully I don't) then I don't want to have left with regrets. Although I guess it would be safe to say that if I did get into a relationship with Gippal and then ended up disappearing, I guess I would regret that too.
So I'm at a crossroads. Both roads lead to the same thing; Seal those Gates (and me possibly vanishing).
On the one hand, I can take the road going on the right, and avoid any type for relationship with Gippal, so he wouldn't know how deeply I felt for him (even though he can be a jerk most of the time), or I can take the left road and have a mind-boggling affair with Gippal and have him blame himself if I disappear because he couldn't save me.
I don't want him to blame himself, because knowing Gippal, he would, just because he feels he has to be responsible for everything that happens, that he should protect me from everything. Even though I know he can't. Not from everything.
But... I don't want to regret not having a relationship with him, because...because, because I love him...lame reasoning to be used when trying to save the world. world over love. How has that ever worked out? I'm arguing with myself. All my emotions have gone haywire. It was so much easier when Gippal wasn't thrown into this mess. When things were so much clearer.
It's like I'm staring in a nonexistent mirror. Seeing two sides of myself try to find out which is the right road to take.
This is how Yuna and Tidus saw their stories. Confusion. Uncertain. Anger. Frustration. Love...
I can't expect to be able to sacrifice myself and expect to find a lasting love. I don't know anyone that has.
Lies.
Tidus. He sacrificed himself for Yuna, and He still found love.You're not Tidus.
You're right. I don't have his courage.
I'm Rikku, only daughter of the Leader of the Al'Bhed. Savior of Spira. Twice. Why is it so hard to decide?
You've Never been in Love before.
What if I don't vanish? What if...I live happily ever after?
What if you don't?
I don't have to save the world. I can stay here. With Gippal.
Can you really be that selfish?
I want to be happy. Don't I deserve a little happiness?
Not at the expense of others. Would you ask them to sacrifice their happiness for yours?
Then what gives them the right to ask that of me?
They aren't asking.
What if I'm not willing to give?
You have no choice.
I love Gippal.
I love Spira.
It's out of Affection.
It's out of Duty.
I want to stay.
I have to go.
Please, tell me. What should I do? I'm not strong enough.
We have to be. It's the only path we can take.
...That's when I woke up.
It's cold out. Kind of odd, since it's Kilika. Not really cold, just enough to give me a chill. I still don't know what to do. Time is ticking.
The hourglass is running out of sand. And I still don't know what to do. I've been beating myself over this, since my nap. Should I stay, or should I go?
I have to admit, I'm not any closer to finding the right path then I started with.
My brain tells me to go right, but my heart wants to go left.
What If I don't disappear? What if it's all some sort of odd misunderstanding, maybe if I seal all of the Gates, maybe I won't disappear.
Maybe it's a fluke, that the Dreams were lying and the only reason they wanted me to help is because I was the only one worthy.
Maybe I'm not a dream. Maybe, when I reach the end, and I think I've disappeared, I'll come back, and land in the arms of Gippal. And everything will be happy, and it'll be a happy ending.
Maybe...
Heh. I promised myself I wouldn't cry. Especially not about this. I told that to myself. Gippal is out with Pau, getting something to eat, and probably chatting with Nooj and Baralai, who are here in Kilika.
I guess it would be time for me to find them eh? I mean, I should be out there with 'Spira's Heroes' having the heroes' feast or something.
I hope Gippal didn't finish the Prime Rib.
I walked out the door, from my hotel room, and walked down the hall. I guess I wasn't looking where I was going because I ran into a man with a weird lime green hat.
"You're Rikku?" He asked. Geez, didn't even say 'excuse me', albeit I'm the one who probably needed to say that.
I blinked. "Umm...yeah" I frowned. Have I seen this guy before?
"Gippal wants you to meet him at the temple" I blinked.
"Erm, didn't he say to meet him in the harbor?" Stupid Gippal. Always changing his plans.
"Don't look at me, lady. I'm just the messenger" he pushed past me, reaching into his pocket to pull out a lime green note. He was walking down the hall towards where my room was, although, he probably was just going there to use the bathroom at the end of the hall. The ones upstairs have had plumbing problems, or something.
I turned around and shrugged. Well. If Gippal wanted me to meet him in the temple. Then the temple it is. I re-loaded my guns, put them in their hidden holsters (hee, I feel like an agent for espionage or something, that's why I bought them on the dock)and packed my backpack, out of habit more then anything else and started walking to the temple.
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"Where is Rikku?" Gippal practically snarled. "I told her to meet us at the harbor, don't tell me she forgot."
"Hey, calm down." Tidus said, moving his hands in a placating gesture. The blitzball star had come here with Nooj and Baralai, on the Celsius along with Cid, Brother, and crew, after finding out that Yuna was here.
"Where is she?" Yuna asked, looking around worriedly. "It's not like her to be so late."
"Yes it is" Paine deadpanned. Yuna glared at her, then faltered slightly.
"Well...she can be late. But has she ever been this late? For food, no less?" Yuna admitted, continuing to look slightly worried despite the fact that some of her fears were soothed.
Paine frowned. "You're right. She would have come early if she knew people like Gippal and Brother would be inhaling all the food"
Her comment was greeted with the simultaneous "Hey" and "Oi!" of the faction leader and brother.
"I haven't touched a thing!" the one-eyed leader snapped. Who, indeed was too trained on the harbor entrance to pay attention to his food. All eyes turned to that of Brothers, who tried not to look guilty even with barbeque sauce splattered around his mouth.
"I did not touch anything either" he said, sighs of "whatever, Brother" "Ho. boy" and "Dear Spira, he ate half of it already?" were heard after he made that comment, along with a few shaken heads.
"That's It!" Gippal snarled, slamming his hands down on the table. "I'm going to find Rikku" He stood up and started walking towards the inn.
He was muttering to himself as he entered the inn about Rikku purposely not going. Then he mentally kicked himself, 'She wouldn't do that. Right? Right' he tried to convince himself, and pretty much succeeded except for the little seed of doubt about the fact that she might have left without him again.
He didn't know why he felt so compelled to stay around her lately. It was always like if he turned around for a second, then she would vanish before he even knew what was happening. He wanted her to confide in him, he always had, but now, he felt like if he let her out of his sight, that she would be gone forever. And there was nothing he could do about it.
And he hated feeling helpless about anything.
He walked down the hall to where her room as, and abruptly stopped when he saw the bright lime green not stuck to her door. He frowned and read it. Three lines, that's all there were. Three lines that infuriated him.
Faction Leader.
Your little princess is with us. If you wish to see her again, resign as Faction Leader, and evacuate D'jose temple.
You know who we are. You have until morning to make your decision. Meet us at Kilika Temple when you've made it..
Gippal snarled and slammed his fist on the door, before ripping the note from the door and crumpling it, staring off into the depths of the hallway.
"You shouldn't have done that, you bastards" he muttered quietly, leashed fury in his voice, his eye blazing in anger, "You shouldn't have tried to take her away from me. Now you're going to regret it. Dearly."
He knew they had no intention of just letting him resign. They'd kill him. Just to ensure the fat that the temple would be under the control Yevon. Baralai had been trying to track down the leaders of this new group, and had six of his men murdered and delivered on his doorstep as a warning to tell him not to interfere with them again.
This, of course made Baralai furious, and he increased his efforts, albeit quietly. Gippal made a note to grill his best friends for answers when Rikku was safe with him again. He stormed out of the Inn.
'Morning my ass' He thought grimly. 'They'll be lucky to be breathing out of their necks once I'm done with them.'
He made his way Grimly to the Temple.
They shouldn't have taken her away from him.
Now there'd be Hell to pay.
And he was there to collect.
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Ahhhhh! I haven't updated in so long! I'm sorry that this chapter isn't as long as my other ones. But I've been super-uber busy. But I WILL update sometime next week. Hopefully longer then this one. (which is a sad amount for the chapter, I might add)
