Disclaimer: Don't profit from them, didn't create them, and don't own them.
Rating: R, I suppose.
A/N: Thank you everyone for all of the reviews.
Audra: I'm glad that you don't hate me! And I'm glad that you believe that Nick deserves what ever he gets coming to him.
Rynn: "You should have left those blonde porn stars in Texas." Ah yes, them blonde porn stars. They are, by far, the trashiest. We have many of them in Surrey. I think I might have to steal your idea about Greg. I can see it happening as well. Thank you.
Anushka: I know that you hate me. I knew that you were going to hate me. I'm sorry. Will you ever forgive me? Oh and YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES I will write your R rated parts for your fics! I would be honored… as long as I get credit for writing them. : D Oh, and that we sign a contract saying that if you get banned from fanfiction I am not held responsible. It just might happen.
Ash: I know I said two chapters. I thought I had finished writing this one but it turns out that I didn't. I apologize. Thank you. I am thrilled that you think so highly of my writing! I think very highly of yours.
EB: "better make it up to us soon" So much hostility my dear! I promise that I will make it up to all of you. Not just in this chapter but in others.
I think I might rewrite this chapter. Let me know what you guys think and I am aware that they are a little out of character… as always.
Chapter Nine: Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid
There was no emotion on her pallid face or behind her eyes. She worked with skill and as much termination as she always did, but tonight there was definitely a manner that she worked in that she had never done before. She displayed no compassion, no sympathy. In fact, Catherine had commented on how akin to Grissom she was that night and if Sara weren't already too livid with Nick and herself at that moment, she would have laid it to the blonde not so lightly.
And in the locker room Nick was, putting away his remaining equipment. She didn't say a word as she entered, which was not totally out of character for her recently. Sara had accepted that Nick didn't want to acknowledge her and now, she didn't want to acknowledge him. He was about to say something and she knew it, so she slammed her locker extra hard and glared straight at him before turning on her heel and storming off.
For a moment, Nick just stood there trying to process what had just happened. Shaking his head, he collected his stuff and then made his way to his car in the parking lot, unaware that Sara was already ahead of him.
It was too dark for him to notice that her car was parked a couple of stalls over from his and as he fumbled with his keys while ascending the stairs, he began to feel the weight of shame and sleep consuming his body.
Everything was dark and the way he had left it. Tonight, he didn't care whether his bag got to his bedroom or remained beside his shoes and the front door. For the past week, he had not cleaned up his apartment. Take-out boxes littered the place, as did clothes and other things that belonged in other places.
Stripped to nothing, Nick walked to his bedroom, not bothering to flick on the light. He collapsed onto his bed and released a sigh before taking in a sharp breath when someone jumped on top of him, pinning his arms above his head.
He struggled for a moment, nearly knocking the person off of him since he was far stronger, until he stilled, realizing that it was Sara sitting astride his lap.
"Sara, what are you doing in here?"
"I can still smell her perfume," she spat.
"What?"
"I heard you and Warrick in the locker room, Nick," her voice, which had been stern and callous, was now faltering and showing her true emotions. She was scared and deeply hurt by him. He could hear it.
"Sara –"
"I know you were going to tell me, Nick. I know that we are not together so it's not cheating even though you cannot help but feeling like you did. I know that she meant nothing and that you're sorry. And I know that you love me."
With the small aid of the moon being filtered in through the closed blinds, Nick saw tears trickling down her cheeks. When he tried to reach up to brush them away, she pushed back down on his arms, clutching his wrists tighter and putting most of weight in the effort to restrain him.
"Then you know everything."
"Yes."
"What are you going to do about it?"
"You didn't even change the sheets," she whispered.
"I didn't have time, Sara."
"Was she good, Nick? Did she do everything you asked her to?" Her words were meant to be a slap in the face and they were delivered as such.
"Sar, she was nothing –"
"Compared to me? Don't you think I've heard this all before? Hell Nick, why do you think Hank and I broke up?"
"You told me that the spark had died between you two."
"It did and that's why."
"Then is it the same for us?"
"Tell me her name."
"I don't know it."
"Oh that's great, Nick," she muttered sardonically, sneering down at him.
"Actually it is, Sar. I have no connection to her whatsoever."
"Except for her phone number by the phone."
"I didn't know it was there."
"I burnt it."
"Good."
There was a pause between them as Sara sat back on her heels, on Nick's bare lap. He swallowed the groan but she knew it was there stuck in his throat regardless. There was little about him that he could hide from her and it worked the same way for her as well. Her grip on his wrists had loosened, making it easy for him to slip out and push her not so gracefully onto her back, sending her body further into the mattress as the weight of him became flush with hers. She was now in the same position that Sara had had him in a moment before, only now he was on his knees in between her legs and her legs were draped loosely around his hips. She swallowed as she felt him hard against her and tried to focus on the anger in her body, not the lust that was quickly beginning to consume it.
"Does she know you're name, Nick? Did she scream it?"
"Stop it, Sara," he growled down at her, holding onto her small wrists tighter.
"Why Nick? It's a slap in the face to know that you slept with some other woman while you still love me."
"And it's not a slap in the face to know that you touched Grissom? That you did the same thing to me as you did to him?"
"I didn't do anything similar."
"You brought out the handcuffs: that's the same to me. You used them on me a day after they had been around his wrist. Tell me how it hurts you to know that I fucked another woman while only thinking about you and then I'll tell you what it's like to have your heart ripped in two by the woman you love."
Sara was fighting back tears at this state while Nick's anger only grew.
"Did you kiss her?"
"No."
"Why did you do it?"
"Because I needed a woman."
"Then why didn't you come to me, Nick?" her voice sounded so small in his ears and even her own.
"I didn't think you would want me, Sar. I stop talking to you and haven't for a week and then suddenly I expect you to sate my needs as a man?"
"I would have said yes."
"And what would you say now if I asked?"
Her reply was her hips arching up into his and he moaned at the heat that flooded from the centre of her jeans. He fit so perfectly in between her legs and he suddenly wondered why he had ever thought anyone else's would suffice.
"Is that a yes?" he growled lightly in her ear, brushing his lips over ear as his hands relinquished her wrists to assault the buttons on the front of her shirt.
Just as she was about to answer, Nick captured her lips with his and held them for a moment between his own, savoring the softness of them that he had missed so much. It was seering and full of passion as he pulled her shirt off of her arms, flinging it away from them.
Sara was robbed of all her clothing in a matter of seconds, quite possibly her dignity as well. Everything had always been slow and thought-out between them before, whether it was as simple as having dinner or as complex as sex. She recognized now that there was too much between them now, too much emotion, and even more at stake. There was no way that he wanted to take things slow, to be gentle, and perfectly civilized. Nick needed to show her that he had so much unbridled lust for her, love her that he had to have her right then and there.
When his mouth latched onto the skin just below her jaw and began to suck, she nearly lost it and groaned rather loudly, the lower half of her body rising to meet his. He wrapped his arm around the small of her back and kept her body flush with his, afraid that if he were to let go, she would leave him. The female body below him was writhing in fervor and imploring for him to finish his torment of her body.
He slid into her with effortless ease and familiarity.
"Nick –"
He saw what she was about to say, saw in her eyes how the dangerous emotion flooded them so that she was nearly drowning.
"I know, Sara. I know."
