Authoress here.

Hmm. The fourth chapter and yet I've steered clear of most perversion...

Weird. That's so unlike me. I'll try to make up for it in later chapters. An R-rated story for a reason, as I like to say!

Can anyone help me? I can't remember Yuki's brother's name. I think it starts with a "T," but I can't remember. It's driving me insane.

START CHAPTER

Alira, Yuki, and Shuichi all stood staring at each other for a moment. Suddenly, Shuichi's voice became clearer and he sang with all his soul.

Alira smiled as she realized his eyes were on Yuki. Yuki really means a lot to him.

Her eyes, on the other hand, were caught on the guitar player, who hadn't looked up yet. When Shuichi hit a spine tingling note, however, he snapped to attention and looked through the window. He rolled his eyes when he saw how Shuichi was reacting to Yuki's presence, clearing thinking, why can't you sing like that all the time?

Alira smiled at Yuki. "They're good." She ran a hand through her hair, revealing her red-brown roots even more.

"Will you dye your fucking hair back? It's pissing me off."

Alira glanced at Yuki's blond hair and realized instantly that she had been going against everything his color stood for. His hair clearly said, "I'm different and I don't care. Fuck you."

She lowered her hand. "Sure. No problem."

Yuki turned then to look at Shuichi, and Alira smiled again when she saw the emotion written in his eyes. Love was there, clearly wrought. She couldn't help smiling. Love, in any form, was beautiful to her.

-Meanwhile-

"Mr. Montosuwa, I'm only telling you what we know. We haven't found her yet." The police chief, Hikaru Aki, folded his hands in front of him and placed them on his desk.

Mr. Montosuwa glared. "I've been here enough where you can call me by my first name. I would assume you know full well what that is."

"Teizo," Hikaru said, calling the man before him in a less formal matter. "We're currently doing all we can to find her. She's gotten better at avoiding us since last time."

"Trying isn't good enough in this situation," Teizo snarled. "She's not mentally stable. She could snap at any time. After seeing her mother die, she's been scarred emotionally."

"You never did tell me that whole story," Hikaru remarked, now somewhat interested.

Teizo sighed and sank heavily onto a chair in front of the desk. "It was a car accident. All three of us were there: Alira, her mother, and myself. Kristine, her mother, was badly hurt and bled to death in front of us. Alira has never been able to get that memory out of her mind, even after fourteen years.

"I couldn't raise her by myself, so I sent her to live with her Aunt, my sister, Rika. My visits to see her have always been short." He offered no more information, but Hikaru remained silent, processing what he had heard.

Teizo could still feel the wetness of tears on his hand from slapping Alira. She should have kept her mouth shut.

She shouldn't have ever mentioned Kristine after that happened. She shouldn't have shouted that it was his fault that she was gone. Because he had been driving after a few glasses of sake, she had said, her mother was gone. It was not true, as he had shouted at her before. He hadn't had any drinks that night.

Alira looked so much like her American mother, he couldn't bear having her yell at him like that.

Now, she had run away again, meaning she got the last words of argument in. he wouldn't stand for that. No daughter of his had the right to disobey him like that.

"Hikaru," he said quietly. "You have to find her."

"We'll do our best, sir," Hikaru replied, using the same hackneyed phrase he always did.

"Be sure that you do." Dressed in a crisp business suit, Teizo Montosuwa left to go to work.

It was then that Hikaru sighed and rubbed his temple. Truth be told, Alira was giving him quite a bit of trouble. Mr. Montosuwa, owner of Montosuwa Electronics, could only keep it a secret that his daughter was missing for a short time. That short time was steadily coming to an end.

"Alira," he said aloud. "Why the hell do you keep doing this?"

-At the recording studio-

"That was awesome!" After he had finished singing, Shuichi had negotiated leaving early and won. Now, he, Alira, and Yuki were on the way back to Yuki's house.

Shuichi turned around in his seat to grin sheepishly at Alira. "You think so?"

She nodded and smiled back.

Yuki made a sharp left turn, and Shuichi hurriedly turned back in his seat to remain uninjured. He struck up a simple conversation with Yuki, and Alira fell silent to listen. She felt compelled to learn a bit more about both of them.

When they got back, Shuichi whispered something to Yuki and the pair headed upstairs after kissing once.

Alira shivered, knowing exactly what was going on a floor above her. It wasn't that the two men together bothered her, it was hearing the springs squeaking from the room above that made her uncomfortable.

Feeling a bit bored, she wandered around the first floor until she came to a room where the door was open just a crack. Being a very curious person by nature, she opened the door the rest of the way.

The room appeared to be a study, illuminated only by the glowing of a computer screen. Alira walked behind it to read the document that was open.

After only a few seconds, she felt embarrassed. As she was about to scuttle out of the room, a blinking in the corner of the screen caught her attention. Yuki had an email.

I shouldn't do this. Alira put her hand on the mouse. I can't read his email!

She double clicked on the link to the message before she could change her mind (I'm a horrible person! she thought hysterically) and quickly read what it said.

"Dear Eiri Yuki:

As a fan of yours, I was disgusted to learn that you are a homosexual. You deceived me and many other fans into thinking you were normal.

Homosexuality is wrong, and I can't believe you of all people are one. I feel sorry for your family. Your mother and father must be ashamed to have conceived a son who turned out like you.

Sincerely,

Tachikara Kazumi

P.S. I am burning all of the books I own written by you."

Alira couldn't believe her eyes. Someone had sent Yuki hate mail?

She immediately deleted the email. Even if he's kind of an asshole, Yuki doesn't deserve that kind of crap, she thought as she headed into the kitchen.

She looked at the clock. It was 7:43 already. She smiled a little as she opened the fridge. She could make them a nice dinner unless they were too busy upstairs.

Alira flushed again at the thought of it, and seized some food to prepare for dinner.

She was too wrapped up in her thoughts to hear Yuki and Shuichi come down roughly an hour later.

She had pulled her hair into a ponytail and had her back to the doorway as the two men entered.

Shuichi spoke first. "You made us dinner?"

Alira started like a spooked horse, then tuned to look at him. "I figured I might as well. If you don't like it, that's too damn bad. Make your own fucking dinner next time."

Shuichi immediately complimented her cooking before even taking a bite, and she smiled appreciatively at him. She looked quite a bit different when she wasn't wearing heavy makeup. She looked more innocent and alive.

She no longer looked like the type of girl who would spend her afternoons doing drugs. The type teachers deem lost causes and don't even try to help.

They all sat down, and Shuichi noticed that Alira was watching Yuki hopefully as he tried some of the sushi she had made.

"You made this?"

"If it tastes like shit, don't bother telling me," she said with a casual shrug of her shoulders.

"You don't have to swear so much," Shuichi said, cutting off whatever Yuki was going to say. "You don't sound like a nice person when you swear."

Alira cast Shuichi a startled glance, her chopsticks still holding a chunk of spicy chicken above her plate. She chuckled softly and ate it a moment later. "I don't think I'm the type would think of as being a nice person anyway, Shuichi, so it doesn't matter."

His mouth full, Shuichi countered by saying, "I think you're nice."

She laughed lightly. "Thanks."

Dinner went without a hitch, but Alira couldn't help but think about the hate mail she had deleted. She felt guilty about going into Yuki's study and reading it in the first place, but she couldn't figure out why anyone would want to write him something like that. It bothered her that, just because they were both men, people thought less of them.

The name seemed familiar as well. Tachikara Kazumi, she mused thoughtfully as she was brushing her teeth before bed later that night. I know I've heard that name before.

Suddenly, it hit her. Tachikara Kazumi was her father's secretary. Her Aunt Riku had mentioned her over dinner to her husband, when she thought Alira was too young to understand, that she suspected Teizo and Tachikara were having an affair even before the accident.

Her mother had never known. Kristine Montosuwa had been so nice. She used all of her free time to make Alira happy.

Her mother was lying on the pavement, bleeding.

Alira cried out softly as the images swam across her mind.

Her breath was coming in shallow gasps. Blood trickled from the corner of her mouth. Her eyes were slowly closing. Alira was at her side, cradling her in her arms and repeating her name over and over again. She was sobbing, old enough to know her mother was dying.

Her mother's heartbeat stopped, but the four-year-old Alira's weeping did not.

Alira's vision became distorted with tears. Her toothbrush fell from her hand and landed in the porcelain sink.

Alone in the bathroom, she sank to the floor and cried softly so that no one could hear her.

-In Yuki's room-

"Get the hell out of here," Yuki snapped at the teenage boy who was lying on the other side of his bed, looking at him. "I'm tired."

"Can't you just hold me while I sleep?" Shuichi asked hopefully, pulling the covers up to his chin.

Yuki rubbed his forehead. "I have a headache. Just sleep in your own damn room tonight. I'm not in the mood for this."

Shuichi snuggled against Yuki, pressing his cheek against Yuki's back. "You were 'in the mood' earlier."

Yuki didn't pull away. "That was earlier, not now. I'm tired."

Shuichi sighed contentedly. "I would be happy just to stay here with you, like this, all night."

"Fine." Yuki pulled away from the warmth of his lover and sat up. "I'm going to go take some Aspirin."

Shuichi nodded as he watched Yuki leave the room, his t-shirt clinging to his chest. "Hurry back." Yuki didn't look back as he left.

As he passed the bathroom, Yuki could hear someone crying softly on the other side of the door. He raised a hand to knock, reconsidered, and headed to retrieve the bottle of Aspirin that he always kept in his study, just in case.

After he was downstairs, Alira opened the bathroom door and headed to her room.

Shuichi was leaning on the wall outside Yuki's room, and it was obvious even from a distance that he was crying.

She stopped in front of him. "Is something wrong?"

Shuichi nodded tearfully. "I think Yuki is mad at me."

Alira was uncomfortable. How was she supposed to comfort him? "Nah, I don't think so. He's probably just under stress right now. Don't worry about it."

"You think so?" he asked, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand.

She nodded. "Yeah."

Shuichi smiled and thanked her before bidding her goodnight and heading back to bed. Alira walked slowly to her room and flopped onto the bed.

Alira found that she couldn't sleep. She glanced at the clock. It was 1:57 AM already.

To pass the time, Alira reached into her backpack, pulled out a notebook and pencil, and began to write.

I thought about Mom again today. God, I miss her. I can't remember her without seeing her lying there on the ground, and that hurts most of all. I can't picture her face without it being bloody.

I'm like her, I think. She emotional and bruised easily. She always wore eyeliner as a teenager too. She was a rebel.

And like her...I cry at night when no one can hear me.

"Bullshit," said a voice from behind her. The light from her bedroom had attracted Yuki's attention, and he was standing so he could see over her shoulder.

"Bullshit," he repeated, softer this time. "I heard you."

Alira was silent, not knowing how to reply. She closed the pencil in the notebook and set it aside before lying down and turning her back to Yuki.

"Go ahead and cry," he said, turning to leave. "I won't listen."

He closed the door behind him quietly, not wanting to wake Shuichi, as he exited the room.

Alira lay awake for a long time, but stubbornly refused to cry.

END CHAPTER

I'm sleepy...my contacts are going fuzzy. Clearly, I've been awake for too long.

I'm going to bed.

Authoress over and out.