A Shattered Dream
Footsteps raced through the Infirmary once more. Extra doctors and nurses came by to assist Dr. Kadowaki. Rinoa was trapped outside in the halls again, pacing around nervously just as she had been before.
This is all my fault! If only I had informed someone once I first recognized the signs that something was terribly wrong. I'm so stupid!! I can't believe I had actually believed him!! I should've known better!!
It was now midnight. She had just seen him an hour ago. What had caused him to black out like that? She thought about informing her friends about the news but thought better to let them rest. It was unfair to wake them up and drag them out here. Besides, she didn't want to get into the details of what had happened earlier. Right now, she needed time alone to think and mainly, sort out this mess.
Why didn't I stop myself from kissing him!? she thought, frustrated and upset for not pulling away fast enough. What would Squall think? Am I even going to tell Squall!?
Was she? Just the though of what Squall was going to do once she revealed this to him made her frightened.
For now, I need to know when he's coming back...
She made a dash out of the narrow corridor and into the grand halls of Balamb Garden. She ran as fast as her tired legs would take her. With the twist of the handle, she was in.
Rinoa quickly searched for her machine. After finding Squall's number, she dialed it, waiting for a response impatiently.
came a deep voice on the other line.
Squall! It's me Rinoa!!
Hey. Is something wrong?
No, I was just wondering when you're heading back.
What's the matter? he asked worriedly.
Nothing-nothing...it's just that I miss you, she lied. She hated lying to him but she was left with no other choice.
Well...I miss you too but I don't have an exact date right now. Laguna has some plans so I'm going to have to stay for a little while longer I guess. By the way, did you guys reach Timber? You should've by now...
Umm...not yet.
Not yet? What's taking so long?
Again, Rinoa was left with no choice but to lie. She couldn't tell him that Garden had spent most of its time taking in Seifer. Umm...There was something wrong with the engines so Nida had to fix it but there's no problem now and we're heading to Timber!
That's great to hear. Listen, I gotta go now, Laguna is calling me. Sorry that I cant talk longer.
No, no, I understand.
I love you, bye!
I love you too...
Was that another lie? her inner conscience smirked.
NO!!! Of course not!!
Angry at herself that she could even consider not loving Squall for a second, Rinoa shamefully slapped her forehead. Glancing at the clock sitting besides her bed, she noticed it was now 12:30 am. The bed looked so welcoming but she couldn't take its offer. There was no time to sleep. Right now, she had to rush back to Seifer to see how he was doing.
At least this gives him some time to recover before Squall comes back......
Rinoa sighed and closed the door behind her, then strolling back to the Infirmary. There was definitely no way she could tell Squall what happened but then again, what if Seifer tells him. That would be so much worse! Would Seifer do such a thing?
Of course he will Rinoa!!
But part of love was trust. Was Squall ever going to trust her again? The thought of their relationship crumbling shattered Rinoa's heart. What if he never forgives her?
No!! Now is not the time to think about that...I'll just have to see how Seifer's doing.
It was part of my fault that I couldn't reason with Squall to let him stay in Garden...at least until he was fully recovered so I'm to blame too I guess...
Walking down the halls of the Infirmary, a nurse stepped out with a worried and sorrowful look on her face.
Hey, what's-
I think you better come in here immediately, she interrupted. "I'm afraid we got some bad news for you...
Those words alerted Rinoa instantly. What's wrong!? Tell me!!
Please go on it...Dr. Kadowaki will explain everything to you...
Wasting no more time, the Angel hurriedly dashed in and was met by several medical staffs. Dr. Kadowaki!! What is going on here? One of the assistants outside said there was something wrong! Is this true? The pale look on the doctor's face told her...it was true without a doubt.
Yes, I sent her to look for you.
Well, then what is it? Rinoa asked impatiently and slightly annoyed. Why were they stalling time?
Dr. Kadowaki signaled the others to step out so she can speak to the girl alone. Obeying, they quietly left the room. The scene made Rinoa's heart pound even faster.
You should sit down if you want, she gestured.
No!! I don't want to sit down!! I just want you to tell me what's going on!!
There is no easy way of saying this...but...
Rinoa noticed the older woman pulling out a tissue and wiped the corner of her eyes.
Was it something THIS serious?
Please...just tell me!! she whispered.
Are you...sure you can take this?
I don't care!! Just tell me!! Please...
Why was it so difficult for her to say what was on her mind!?
Alright dear.......here goes... She grasped onto the Angel's hand tightly. It looks like Seifer wont make it..........
Her heart beat violently once before her legs felt weak. She would've collapsed immediately if she didn't hold on to the side of the desk. Her eyes brimmed with tears of confusion, shock, anger, frustration, and fear. Did she hear right? No, this couldn't be!!
Wha...at? What....did you.......say? she asked softly, squeezing her eyes shut to prevent the tears from falling. Clenching her fist, she prayed silently to herself that she had heard wrong. That this was all a lie, a big mistake.
I said...Seifer...wont make it... the doctor repeated sadly and shook her head. "I'm so sorry that I had to be the one to break this news to you!! I really am!! I know how much he means to you...to all of us!!
Her consolation had no affect on the numb girl. Rinoa cried silently to herself and leaned against the white walls to hold herself up. This couldn't be happening. Everything was all just a blur. The sudden revelation to all this just wasn't possible!! How could he die!? How!? The doctor remained silent, giving the latter all the time she needed. Warm brown orbs gazed absently ahead. That usual cheerful glint had now faded.
No!! I refuse to believe that this is true!! No no no!! There has to be a mistake!!
Please!! Doctor!! Rinoa grabbed the woman's hands tightly, desperate to find a remedy for this madness. You have to do whatever you can! This isn't possible!!!! I was just in here before talking to him and he was talking back to me too!! How can he just lose conscious like that!?
He just wasn't responding to any treatment we gave him. I'm not even sure what has happened to him!!
You're suppose to!! You're a doctor!! Rinoa practically screamed. Are you POSITIVE there isn't anything else!?!?
No, there is nothing any of the staffs and I could do. However, I do believe in miracles but until that miracle occurs then.......
Then? Then what? How much time does he have left?
It looks like he wont make it past sunrise......
SUNRISE!? It's only a couple of hours away!! Three the most!!! Is this all the time I have left with Seifer!? Three hours and I'll never get to see him again!?!?!
she cried. NO!! SEIFER, she yelled in anguish. She ran into the room, which held the Ex-Knight. Rinoa kneeled beside his languid form. Her eyes traveled from the end of his body all the way up to his extremely pale face. She caressed the smooth surface. It only seemed like moments ago that they were talking, interacting, and......kissing.
Rinoa tried shaking that thought out of her head but no matter what, it will not leave. It was as if forever etched in her soul, her heart, only to disappear once she told Squall but the problem was...she couldn't tell him.
Seifer is nothing more than just a friend right? Then...Squall will understand...I'm sure he will......
Returning back to the lifeless man, she held his hand tightly. It was so cold, so very cold. She noticed some medicine sitting on the side of cot with a glass of water. If they couldn't save, she should at least try to. She had to do her best! Pouring a few pills out of the vial, Rinoa carefully supported Seifer's head on her shoulder. Then she forced his mouth open and threw in the tablets. Next, she retrieved the glass of water and forced the liquid into his mouth as well, waiting for him to swallow. Instead, the water gently trailed down between his closed lips.
Come on Seifer!! Swallow it!! Swallow the pills!! she screamed frantically. Nothing. There was no response. Come on!! she muttered. His mouth remained close, water still dripping down from his chin. Realizing that there was no way he could devour the remedy, she fell back down to her knees. The glass vial slipped out of her hands and landed on the floor where it was shattered into tiny fragments, just like her heart.
This cant be happening...Seifer...this cant be happening...
Rinoa laid her head on the cot and squeezed her eyes shut, setting all the tears free as the moon began to set......
Author's Notes: Eh...is this the end of Seifer? You have to find out in the next chapter! Please leave a review and thank you all so much for reading!!
