When Old Feelings Collide


Squall sighed as he slowly removed the lovely wedding decorations that still adorned the golden colonnades of the Quad. A few workers next to him was doing the same thing while others were quickly sweeping up the small pieces of glass from the transparent ceiling that has just recently been repaired. The rest of the SeeDs were working outside in the halls of Garden. Squall still didn't know why he chooses to clear up the Quad. Just being in there brought up an immense amount of pain for him. He shook his head as he dumped another white ribbon into the brown box next to him.

This makes no sense. I'm here removing all these wedding decorations for some stupid party for Seifer who made it as a SeeD. He's the one who wrecked my wedding and I'm here......preparing for his ceremony. Splendid isn't it?

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even realize a figure proceeding towards him. Hi Squall, greeted Rinoa. Whacha thinking about? You look so serious, she giggled.

Rin? Why are we doing this?

Hmmm? What do you mean? I don't understand.

I mean...we're here preparing a party for Seifer out of all people while we didn't even have the wedding that we have waited so long for.

Its not only for Seifer. Its for Quistis as well. Rinoa frowned. She knew where this was heading.

I know it's for Quistis and I'm happy for her but its just him that I cant stand. He doesn't deserve this after all he has done. He dumped the last ribbon into the box and sealed the lid.

Are you still mad? Rinoa asked quietly.

A little I guess...but I'm trying to forget about it...for now.

Well, that was a better answer than she had expected. Of course she didn't blame him for feeling this way. Squall, I know its hard but...the past, it cant be changed. What we can do is work for a better future. Come on! Lets have some fun while we can. We have practically our whole life ahead of us to plan our dream wedding.

Squall managed a tiny small. I guess you're right...after all, we have each others and that's what matters the most.

Absolutely!! That's the spirit! Rinoa beamed, pleased that he seems to be understanding the situation a little better. Do you need any help or is everything ok?

No, its ok. I took care of everything and all the stuff is in here, he said, referring to the full crate. "How's your arm? It doesn't hurt does it?

Nope not at all. In fact...Dr. Kadowaki said that she could remove all these bandages by tomorrow night! Can't wait to get them off.

Wow, that sure was fast. Maybe she's mistaken?

Squall! Doctors never makes mistakes, she teased and gave the commander a quick kiss on the cheek that made him blush like always. Hehe...you're so cute when you turn red.

Yeah yeah... he mumbled.

Can you take a break and come have lunch with me now?

"I'm sorry but I cant. I have to help these guys clean up the mess and then I have to speak with Cid.

Awww...why are you always loaded with work? Don't you get tired of them?

Nah, I don't mind.

Well that's just you! Ok then I'll see you later. I'm starved. Haven't eaten anything in a long time. Please don't overwork yourself, ok Squall?

"Don't worry, I wont. See you later.

Rinoa was about to leave but she turned back. I could wait for you... she began.

Please don't. It's going to take a long time for me to accomplish all this. I don't want you starving.

You sure? she asked hesitantly.

Yeah. Go on.

Well ok, bye then. She waved and walked out of the Quad.

Poor Squall. He has so many things to do and so much on his mind. I just hope that everything will be ok in the end.

Of course she had problems of her own as well they definitely had to hold off the wedding. Right now, she was very concerned about Timber. Come to think of it, was rebuilding it really the right thing to do? If the Galbadians should attack again, the whole town would just be demolished once more but then again, the residents couldn't just stay in the Garden forever. Perhaps it was the right thing to do. Watts and Zone knows whats best and this seems to be the only available option at the moment. Besides that, what was she going to do with Seifer? It still wasn't clear to her whether these feelings were real. The whole concept was vague. It was over between them a long time ago. What had suddenly caused him to love' her once more if what he said was true? The strange thing was, she didn't feel awkward around him...not at all.

A warm aroma of hotdogs filled the cafeteria. Rinoa made her way to the empty line and thought for a moment on what she was going to have.

What would you like? one of the ladies asked.

Hmm...I'll take three hotdogs and a bottle of water please. It was the first time in her life that she was beginning to feel like Zell.

Ok, coming right up. Please wait a moment.

The lady came back two minutes later with her meal. Rinoa quickly thanked her and carried her tray to a small empty table near the corner. She was just about to take a bite out of her hotdog when a cup of coffee suddenly landed in front of her out of nowhere. She looked up to the source and found Seifer standing in front of her.

He smirked and ran his right hand through his blonde hair. Mind if I join you? The other tables are kinda packed.

She wasn't sure if that was such a good idea. Especially if Squall was to appear out of no where.

That's ok. I could go somewhere else if you mind.

No no! I don't mind, she quickly covered up and moved her tray over so there was enough room on the table for Seifer. Ok calm down Rinoa...hopefully Squall wouldn't mind. Besides, it was your idea to help bring everyone together'.

He took a seat across from her. Thank you.

No problem, she smiled warmly.

"How's your arm doing? I see that you're not using those curtain rags anymore, he chuckled lightly.

Rinoa laughed. No! Of course not! The doctor said it should be fully healed by tomorrow.

That's good to hear.

She nodded and took a bite out of her hotdog. There was a slight pause between them. Only the sound of munching down her food was audible. Seifer took a sip of his coffee nervously. He wasn't even sure why he was around her. She was probably furious beyond words, but yet, she never expressed it. He wants to dive right in and tell her so badly how he felt. He wanted to pour his whole heart out to her but he figured taking this slowly was for the best. Yes, he'll take it slow...piece by piece. Claiming that he loved her during her matrimony was indeed a foolish thing to do. If the Galbadians had not invaded, they would've already been married if he had not interrupted. It was a selfish act but at least she knew how he felt...hopefully. As soon as those words were released, Seifer didn't care what happened to him because at least he got them out and accomplished what he had wanted to do. From there, its up to fate to determine what happens next but that doesn't mean he couldn't intervene with its plans.

The Sorceress observed the man in front of her. Hey, you look like you're in a daze. Anything on your mind?

Yeah...tons of stuff

No, not really. The urge was killing him. He wanted to tell her how he felt. Didn't she get the message? After all, he barged in on her wedding and they shared a passionate kiss in the Infirmary when he was on the brink of death. Wasn't that enough to tell her how much she meant to him or does more need to be done for her to realize this.

Another silence followed.

Rinoa wanted to take this chance to get the truth straight out of his mouth but then thought better. I'll give him some more time to let him sort out. After all, a lot has happened. How much more time? She couldn't let this situation lag on forever. She asked him this at the Broadcasting Studio back in Timber but that was a little bit crazy. They were fighting for their lives and trying to protect the town so of course he wouldn't been thinking straight. Just a little longer...just let him sort things out. He's already confused enough after all the turmoil he has been through. Was she only making this lag longer than neccesary because SHE was afraid of his answer? Afraid, that it was true? What would she do then if he really did love her?

Not wanting to think about this, the Sorceress quickly changed to a different subject. So how does it feel being a SeeD?

For now...they were going to put this on hold, AGAIN.

I don't know really. His pride was keeping him from admitting that he felt stupid in a way making a SeeD AFTER everyone else did but that doesn't matter in the end. He was a SeeD. He was just as equally good as they are. Or even better I guess I'm pleased that I'm finally a SeeD. I've been wanting this for so long you know?

Yeah I can tell. I'm so happy for you; you really deserve this. This party that Selphie's planning is going to be great!! She's sure good with these kind of things. She took another bite out of her meal.

Seifer grinned slightly while watching her devour her food. You got some ketchup on near you lips. Taking a napkin from her tray, he wiped the corner of her mouth with it. Both of them broke into laughter. Yes, they were still both childish in a way.

You want one? Rinoa offered.

No thanks. Don't wanna be like Chicken Wuss ya know.

Now you sound like Raijin.

Both of them giggled again.

Speaking of Raijin, how is he and Fujin doing? We haven't heard from them in a long time. How are they doing?

Well the last time I heard from them, they said they were at Balamb. Raijin wanted to spend some time there fishing. I think they said that they were thinking of heading to Fisherman's Horizon for a visit because of Raijin's obsession of fishing but they will be back here one day.

You miss them?

In a way, yes. We're still a posse but its nice knowing they're having fun.

Oh, that's nice to hear! Well I'm going to get going now, said as she gathered her wrappers onto the tray as well as the half filled bottle.

Where are you going?

I have to help set up the Quad for the party tomorrow although Selphie wants to call it a dance. You ARE going to be there right? It'll start at nine tomorrow and last til around after midnight. It's gonna be so fun!

Of course!! Do you need some help?

No, I've got it covered. You can go help the residents or go help Zell and Irvine. I don't know where they are right now but they shouldn't be hard to spot.

Seifer nodded. Ok, I'll go check out if Chicken Wuss needs anything done. He got up and pushed in his chair, getting ready to leave as well. Wait, is Squall still angry, not that I care but...?

Rinoa could sense that Squall was very much angry but didn't want the two to start off in the wrong direction so she calmly replied, Things will work out fine. I think he's going to be ok. At least I hope so.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Squall made his way back to the Quad. He had just carried out two boxes of the old ornaments. There were still some things that needed to be done in there before he can take a break and spend some time with Rinoa. He spotted Quistis and Selphie talking among them while setting up the tables. He was going to head over and greet them until he heard his name being mentioned.

What is it about Squall? Come on Quistis, you can tell me, Selphie urged.

Squall quickly hid himself from view behind a column before the two girls caught him. Just what were they talking about?

If I tell you this, you promise you can tell anyone else ok?

You got it Quisty? Whats up?

The tall blonde checked to make sure there was no one in the Quad even though all the workers have already left. I would normally tell Rinoa this as well but I cant...because this involves her too.

Selphie stopped moving the table. Wow, this sounds serious.

It is...Selphie. I think...I'm...I don't know...but...I think my feelings for Squall aren't totally gone. I know he loves Rinoa but......

Squall widened his eyes in shock and slumped against the columns.

Selphie was speechless. Whoa! Where did that come from? she whispered. "Didn't you say back at the orphanage that your feelings towards him was like an older sister, trying to shield from the pain? Quisty...please explain.

"I'm trying to but its so hard. I'm confused enough myself but I realize that those feelings are still there. I thought they were going to go away because Squall proposed to Rinoa but since their wedding was destroyed...well...you know!

How long have you been keeping this a secret?

For quite some time...I didn't want to bring it up because that would just ruin Rinoa's happiness. I was so glad that Squall was finally changing because of her. This is so stupid! I'm not even sure what's going on with me Selphie but I just needed someone to talk to about this. You promise you wont say anything. Not even mentioning it to Rinoa.

"Don't worry, I wont...but...are you going to tell her yourself?

Quistis shook her head. I don't know...I'll have to see.

Do you love him Quisty?

The instructor gazed at the brunette thoughtfully. That was a hard question for her to answer at the moment but what else can those feelings mean? I...I don't know...

Squall could have smacked himself. Of course! It was right there in his face now that he thought about the little details that she had been dropping. How could he be so stupid not to see it in the first place? Their encounter in Timber, her hurt expression when he wanted to go find Rinoa, and all those times back in Garden when she constantly tried to start a conversation with him, trying to get him to open up.

I feel so horrible Selphie but I just can't help it.

Its not your fault Quisty, it just happens. I know its hard, please don't beat yourself up with it.

"Don't say anything yet...I want to be sure of myself first. I have to be sure of these feelings.

Selphie patted her friend's shoulder. Hey! You can trust me. I promise I wont mention a thing until you're ready.

Thank you! Qustis smiled gratefully. Now lets just finish this up.

Both of them went back to moving the tables.

Squall leaned his head against the marble pillar. Quistis...had feelings for him? Still? He felt his heart twist unpleasantly. He was going to hurt her. He knew he was because he didn't love her. He never did. The only woman who had won his heart was Rinoa and it will always be Rinoa. "I'm so sorry Quistis... he muttered under his breath. Quistis had been a great friend to him. He really didn't want to hurt her but he was afraid that he had to sooner or later.

Squall quietly stepped out of the Quad.

Squall! Hi! Rinoa greeted as she stepped in. You're leaving?

Squall commanded and covered her mouth with his hand. Rinoa shot him a questioning look but silently obeyed his gestures. He quickly motioned for her to follow him. The Sorceress ran behind him, following him into his dormitory.

Hey, what was all that about? she asked once the door was shut behind them.

I need to talk to you about something, Squall said nervously.

Rinoa's heart skipped a beat. Did he find out? If so, how? Did Dr. Kadowaki tell him? His face looks like he has urgent news to spill.

What is it? This seems pretty serious.

Squall walked back and forth, hesitating to tell her. What if she became mad afterwards? Actually, it is. I want to tell you but I don't know what your reaction is going to be...I don't want anything to come between us but I fear that this might cause a problem.

Hyne, why is he talking like this? Could it be about Seifer? Her heart pounded even faster against her chest.

Squall, just tell me already! What is it? What's wrong?

Ok, but don't freak out, he quickly added.

Squall, you're making me freak out by the moment here. Please, just tell me, the Sorceress pleaded.

Alright, I think...I think Quistis still has feelings for me, he began slowly.

Rinoa staggered back a bit and fell on to his bed, totally unexpecting his statement. W-hhat? Whats that suppose to mean? Just as Squall thought, her face was filled with confusion and hurt. Do you... The Sorceress stared at the floor, avoiding any eye contact. She was afraid of what his answer will be.

Rinoa-no! Don't even go there. I do NOT love her. I love her as a sister and a friend but not like the way I love you.

Rinoa's heart melted at those words.

I wanted to tell you this as soon as possible. I was afraid you would get mad if you found out some other way. I...didn't want to keep anything from you.

A wave of guilt hit her straight in the heart. She turned around from him and closed her eyes. What was she going to do now? Squall was always so sweet. He would never lie to her and here she is, keeping things from him as they speak. Thank you Squall... she whispered. I just hope you won't be mad with me when I tell you about Seifer. How did you know?

I was just over at the Quad and I overheard Quistis telling this to Selphie. We have to do something before this situation becomes worst...before she grows even more attached to me.

Rinoa faced the commander and argued back. Squall, she's my best friend!! She's been with me for so long and has done so much and this is how we're going to repay her? Please, lets not do this yet.

Squall disagreed. But we have to break it to her soon before she's going to get REALLY hurt. Is that what you want?

No...but...still...you said you weren't sure, Rinoa said to her defense. You said you THINK. We're not even quite sure ourselves yet.

Squall sighed, knowing it was pointless to argue about it any further. Fine...I guess you're right. We'll see how things turn out. If they don't get better, we'll have to break it to her. Until then, we'll just have to wait.

she confirmed. One question...I thought she was over you...so what happened?

Well it seems that way because she thought with our marriage, all hope was lost for her but then...you know...

She understood. And with Seifer saying he loves me doesn't make this any better.

I better get going now, Selphie and Quistis are expecting me to come and I'm already late. We'll talk about this sometime later alright?

The Knight took his Sorceress's hands before she got a chance to spin around. I understand that there seems to be a lot between us right now especially with what I've just found out but we'll get through all this...I promise.

You're right. She managed a small smile. I really have to go now. She leaned up and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

Squall released her hands and nodded. I'll see you later. Try not to let this bother you ok?

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Bye!

The commander sat on his bed, resting his head between his two arms, an action he did often when he was deep in thought or annoyed. She hurried out of the dormitory, closing the door behind her to catch up with her two best friends.

Indeed we have a lot between us now both of them thought. It's going to be a long ride before it comes to a stop...











Author's Notes: Yes, I threw in Quistis to make this a bit more complicated and I know it was kinda rushed so sorry about that but I had to keep this story moving! I am positive that this story is going to have an alternate ending so that way, the Squall and Seifer fans will both be happy =) As for alternate chapters, I'm not sure yet. If I do plan to do that, this will occur in the late chapters, probably towards the end. Another thing is that Quistis will NOT end up falling for Seifer in the end so no, this will not turn into a Seiftis =( Well, thats all I have to say for now. Yes I know that Rinoa is being unfaithful but please stick with it just a bit longer. Next chapter is gonna be full of action!! Sorry for the delay of this chapter. I was helping a friend of mine with his report so thats why I was falling behind. Thanks for reviewing and Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!