The Fear Of Being Alone...Again
The dormitory was too dark. Squall could not see anything but as soon as he destroyed half the door, the light from the hallway immediately poured in. It was then he made out that Seifer was standing in front of him, armed. He squinted his eyes. There seemed to be another figure behind him on his bed.
A female figure.
God don't tell me-
Rinoa gasped. She immediately stood up and ran over to him. She tried to say something but the words just wouldn't come out. He gave her a look that she had never seen before. It was a combination of anger, hurt, disgust, and just about all the negatives she could think of. She tried to explain but the words still wouldn't come out. How can you possibly explain something like this? It looks like it's going to get ugly from here.
He removed his gaze from Rinoa to Seifer. Instantly he grabbed him by the collar of his trench coat and slammed him hard against the wall. What the hell do you think you're doing!? he roared.
Seifer pushed him off with equal force and steadied himself. You better back off before I kill you this instant Leonheart!
Squall, please! This isn't what you think! Rinoa said lamely.
He turned his attention back to her. Oh it isn't!? Then please explain to me!! I leave you for a couple of hours and I was worried sick when I went back to the Quad and the others told me you had disappeared!! You know how scared I was, just the thought of you being captured by the Galbadians!? Rinoa, I was terrified that something terrible might have happened to you and here I find you in Seifer's room, in his bed!? he shouted.
He brought up his gunblade and rushed forward, aiming straight for his target. Seifer raised his Hyperion just in time to defend and managed to counter back. The two blades collided. The sound of the metals grinding and clashing against each other filled the entire hall as students stepped out from their dorms, wondering what this entire ruckus was about.
Well if you weren't off at YOUR stupid meeting, then you would've been there for her when she passed out from drinking. No! You weren't there!! Damnit! I even tried to interrupt your meeting but the elevators were locked up. I had no place to bring her except to my dorm!
Squall, I swear, nothing happened, Rinoa cried.
He stopped and lowered his weapon a bit but not enough to withdraw it. Rinoa saw that he was slowly digesting the new information. Seifer still had his Hyperion held up in one hand, pointing it deadly at Squall. You'll pay for what you just did. Just as he was about to dive forward, Rinoa pulled him back.
Seifer stop! she ordered. She turned back to Squall, her eyes sparkling with fresh tears. Squall, it's the truth. After you left, I passed out from drinking and Seifer brought me here. I was out and totally lost track of time. I'm so sorry that I had you worried...but I swear, nothing happened! I know it looks bad but please, you have to believe me Squall. I would never do anything to hurt you.
He seemed to calm down a bit but his rage suddenly flared up again. He raised his Lionheart once more and turned to look down at her. Oh really? And when did you plan on telling me this!? Oh wait! You weren't going to tell me this were you!?!? he yelled.
Rinoa staggered back. She had never seen Squall like this. Why was he doing this? A single tear rolled down her cheek. Squall, what are you saying!?
You weren't going to tell me this......you weren't......just like you weren't going to tell me that you saved Seifer and shared an intimate' moment with him in the Infirmary.
She covered her mouth with a horrified expression.
No please Squall! You don't understand! I know I should've told you immediately but I didn't want you to get upset so I decided to wait. I promised myself I was going to tell you tonight!! Oh god...it wasn't suppose to be like this!!
Oh and what makes you think I wont be upset, if not even more upset once I found out now!? His left hand curled up into a tight fist and looked at Seifer. And you......HOW COULD YOU? He stood in his battle stance, ready to deliver another blow when he heard footsteps behind him.
STOP IT!!
Headmaster Cid quickly ran up to them with Matron and the other SeeDs not too far behind. What is going on here!?!?
It's nothing Sir... he growled.
Nothing!? So it's nothing' that's causing the whole Garden to be at this scene right now?
He didn't realize that practically everyone in Garden was standing around them, shocked. It's personal affairs, he replied sharply.
Personal affairs? Squall, did you forget that you are a commander? You are not suppose to let your feelings and emotions get in the way of your job, Cid whispered.
Squall did not look convinced. He still had the deadly look in the eye to kill. Zell and Irvine ran up to Seifer and tried to hold him back while Quistis walked up next to Squall. Squall please, you are the commander here. You have a reputation. Do not do this.
He dropped his gunblade to the floor and slowly walked up to his rival. This isn't over. Then, he quietly walked away from everyone.
Selphie ran up to Rinoa and hugged her friend while she softly cried on her shoulder. This was a nightmare. She never should've kept this secret for so long. This was all her fault. If only he had knew about this sooner. Selphie caressed her back lightly and handed her a tissue.
Everyone who had just witnessed the scene was silent.
Everyone, I apologize for what has just happened. Please do not worry about it and return back to your dormitory. I assure you everything will go back to normal by morning. Again, I am sorry for the disturbance.
Whispers filled the air as one by one, they started to go back into their rooms. Soon, the only people who were left in the halls were the Headmaster, Matron, and the SeeDs.
Zell walked over and picked up the gunblade Squall had dropped. Man, I've never seen Squall so angry. Maybe I should go and talk to him.
No, I think you should give him some time and space, replied Quistis. It's obvious he needs alot of time to sort things out.
Seifer said nothing and turned around, walking back to his room.
Seifer, don't think you're off the hook. We will discuss your behavior later, said Cid.
Seifer dismissed it with a wave of his hand. He walked in and kicked his door shut.
Rinoa, are you going to be all right? Matron asked in a concerned voice.
Rinoa didn't say anything. Finally, she nodded and spoke, I'll be fine. I'm sorry for all this. You all should be going back to get some sleep. I think I just need to be alone right now. With that, she walked away, leaving everyone puzzled.
The night was silent. Everything was silent. She could no longer hear any more noise outside and can only assume that the area was cleared. She watched the pale moon outside her window for about an hour already. It was so soothing, so calm, so tranquil. Why couldn't she have that? The thought of running to Squall and telling him everything entered her mind countless times but what's the point now? She had been minutes too late. A few minutes and everything could have possibly changed. And what about Seifer? She couldn't help but worry about him too. She was caught in the middle and there was no escape nor was there any turning back.
Rinoa rubbed her puffy red eyes though no tears fell. She was done with them. Right now, she would have to remain strong and summon up enough strength and courage to face this mess. To face Squall and somehow work things out between them.
And that's what she's going to do.
Smoothing out her outfit, she cast one last look outside her window and caught a shooting star soaring across the sky. It left a trail shimmering light. A new light of hope perhaps? Closing her eyes, she wished hard that things were going to be alright. Satisfied and with little hesitation, she opened the door and made her way to Squall's room.
Please Squall... she whispered and brought up her left hand and gently knocked on his door.
There was no answer. She waited a little longer. Just as she thought it was hopeless and began turn to leave, the door opened slightly. Squall stood in the dark shadows with only a white t-shirt on. He looked at her but said nothing.
Squall......we need to talk.
He didn't say anything but he didn't move from his spot either. It was hard to tell what his expression was too. He hadn't even advance one step closer to her in the dim light.
Please don't do this to me... Rinoa took a deep breath and continued. I know if you let me explain, I can clear everything up.
He still said nothing but Rinoa took it as if he was going to lend an ear.
I know I should have told you all this...in the beginning but I was scared! I was scared Squall! I was so scared that something like this was going to happen and I didn't want that! Everything was perfect...we....we were perfect. I didn't want anything to happen to us and I just feared telling you this so much so I waited......and waited hoping to find the right time, hoping to find the perfect time to tell you what happened between Seifer and I.
She reached out and held his hand. He had no reactions to what she was doing but let her carry on. She clasped them within her own and held it against her chest. I swear I was going to tell you this tonight Squall! If only you hadn't found out somehow......This situation had never left my mind. It was always in my head wherever I go...urging me to spill it out. I've never meant to keep this from you for so long...please...forgive me......
Rinoa looked deep into his alluring eyes and searched for some type of sign, any sign to what he was feeling. Finally after a few moment of silence, she felt him squeezing her hands lightly.
I-I...guess I shouldn't have snapped at you like that before. Sorry.
You have nothing to apologize for Squall...
Now that I can see the look in your eyes, I truly believe that you were going to tell me. I...just didn't get a chance to see that light before Rin. I can see it now......
He stepped out of the shadows and pulled her close against his body. Placing one hand behind her neck, he lifted up her chin with his free one and frowned down at her slightly.
But that's not all I see in your eyes......
She was starting to feel a little uneasy at the way he was talking. He had never talked like this before...what's going on?
Rinoa......your eyes...they burn with a certain glint of love and joy towards me......but also towards another person as well. Towards Seifer... He didn't speak with anger in his voice. Surprisingly, his tone was soft and mesmerizing. He released his hold on her and lifted up the necklace around her neck, holding it high enough so it was dangling in front of her face.
She gasped. On it, were three rings. One belonged to her, and the other two belonging to Squall and Seifer. It hardly occurred to her that she still didn't give it back to Seifer. She opened her mouth to protest but Squall interrupted.
No matter what you say about this, it doesn't change what I see in your eyes. He slowly backed away from her, moving back towards the darkness in his room once more. He closed the door leaving Rinoa stunned outside. She sighed and leaned against the wall beside his room, slowly sinking down to the ground. She could feel the tears approaching once more. Bringing her knees up to her chest, she rested her arms on it and buried her head, letting the tears escape once more.
How did all this happen? Why is he saying this? But more importantly......the things he said......were they true? She had never once doubted Squall before...so should she now?
Inside, Squall laid motionless on his bed. He felt as if his heart was just pierced by his own gunblade and there was nothing to heal the bleeding wound. The anger had dispersed and now he was only left with pain. Immense pain...more than he could bear. This was one thing he couldn't hate Seifer for. The truth was that he didn't manipulate the situation so he could have Rinoa. This seems to be all of Fate's doing.
Hyne......am I going to lose you Rinoa?
