Chapter Six
She shivered even though she was snug in her bed covers. She curled into a ball. Hayate looked at her as though she was insane and jumped down from the bed yawning and stretching. Riza pulled the covers closer to her. She wrapped her pajama's even closer to her body in an effort to stay warm. She was so cold.
The moon shone into the room through the thin curtains. Riza stared at the dancing shadows on the wall. The leaves danced in exotic circles and weaves before her eyes. She watched mesmerized. The leaves captivated her. She thought of the nights spent with Havoc and shivered in disgust. How can one person be so damned dirty…how can one person be so disgusting…?
Yet, she couldn't help the warm feeling that spread throughout her when she thought of Havoc. She belittled herself for it, but it was there. It wasn't her body reacting to the memory of him, no. It was something else…something from deeper within her. It wasn't just desire, lust, what most men may call it. It was from deeper within, from behind the darkness in her heart. Behind the past that leered at her.
She sat up and pushed her blonde bangs from her eyes. She twisted her hair up into its usual fashion. She changed into her uniform and readied herself for that day. She walked to the office and started to sort through the papers on her desk. She soon was so engulfed in her work she didn't even hear the door open.
Two warm and strong arms reached around her waist. She jumped and threw her elbow back to connect with, obviously, a man's jaw. The arms released immediately as a loud grunt in protest was heard and a heavy body falling to the floor with a thud. Riza turned around to find Havoc with one eye closed in pain with a hand rubbing the soon-to-be bruise on his jaw. Riza blinked and bent down onto her knees to help him.
"Fool…" Riza muttered.
"How's that?" Havoc countered her tone.
"Don't sneak up on me. It's a bad idea, as you now know…" Riza leveled a glare at him. Havoc smirked.
"Ahhhh…all high and mighty Hawk caught off guard? That's a first…" Havoc leaned back on his elbows for support as he watched Riza's face flush red with barely suppressed anger and then embarrassment.
"Shut up…" She grumbled with no real threat. Leaning forward to check his jaw, she put her hand on the spot she had hit. "Sorry…"
In response, Havoc pulled Riza closer. He kissed her gently and released her. Riza sat back wide eyed in surprise at the genuine tenderness of the kiss. She blinked a few times before leaning in herself letting her eyes flutter close as she kissed him back. Havoc wrapped his arms around her again. This time, without being hit. After a while the two leaned back from one another and stared at one another.
"I'm sorry, Riza. I truly am…" Havoc said to Riza with hurt showing in his eyes. "That…all this had to happen to you. I don't deserve you. I never could…but, I can bloody damn well try my best to make you smile. To make you feel like you are as worthy as you truly are, to hold you when until your eyes are dried from tears. I want…I want to love you the way that Roy never…never got to."
Riza stared in shock at Havoc's confession. She felt tears rising to her eyes. The tears made their way down her cheeks to fall off of her chin and splatter onto the carpet. Havoc mentally slapped himself roughly. Idiot! Bring up Roy again why don't you. Bring her even MORE pain!
"Riza…I…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought Roy up…" Havoc apologized.
"What…? No…no. That isn't it. I…I just thought that I was…only pleasurable company to you. Not…more. I don't deserve to be more…" Riza said looking down at her folded hands in her lap. She looked up at Havoc when she heard him scoff loudly.
"To be honest, Riza, I think I've been in love with you for long before you ever finally confessed your love for Roy to me. Before…" Havoc paused for a few seconds. "Before he confessed his love for you to me…"
"He…he confessed to you…?" Riza stared at Havoc at a loss for words. Havoc nodded in response. "Then…why didn't he ever say anything…?"
"He didn't know what to say. You seemed so far away from him so much of the time…" Havoc sighed. "But, he feared most for what the military would do to YOU if they found out about a love affair, should there have been one. Let alone, his enemies."
Riza nodded and wiped more tears from her eyes. She sighed. She looked around the room quickly with a scan. She had a small stack of paperwork today, less than usual. She had eighty six percent of it done anyway. She stood and held her hand out to Havoc.
"I think…we can afford a day off. I want to see his grave…" Riza said looking at Havoc hopefully.
"Anything your heart desires…" Havoc smiled gently at Riza. "Besides, it gives us a chance to use first names without getting into any trouble. So, its Jean today. Not Havoc."
Riza smiled lightly. She nodded and turned grabbing her jacket. They left the office briskly and set out for the graveyard of their dear Taisa.
