Chapter Two:
Bandits and Monks and Emperors, Oh My!

I felt someone shake me. "Wake up! We gotta go now if we don't want anyone to see us!" Dee whispered.

"Oh, right." I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I blinked some sleep out of my eyes, glancing around the room and noticing something. "Um...Dee..."

She pulled the men's clothes out from underneath her mattress. "What?"

"Why aren't Koji and Genrou in the room?"

"Wha...?" Dee looked around, blinking several times. After a long search of the room she turned back and smiled sheepishly. "Hey, whadda ya know, they really aren't here."

I sweatdropped. "How could you not notice?"

"I don't know..." Dee shrugged, throwing me one set of the bandit clothes. "Oh well, let's go. Maybe they're...I dunno, let's just go."

"Right." I took the clothes and slipped them on over my normal jeans and T-shirt, frowning at the long jacket and baggy pants. "Man, now's the time I wish I had short hair," I complained to Dee, attempting to stuff my long blonde hair into the coat and failing miserably.

Dee nodded, tugging at her own shoulder-length locks. "No kiddin'. I hope most women don't wear dresses around this place, or we might not be able to pull this off." She reached for the doorknob, but someone else opened it from the outside.

"Good morning no da!"

A chibi face popped up in front of mine. I opened my mouth in silent surprise and fell backwards on my bum.

Dee laughed to hide her embarrassment. "Heh, look at that! I didn't notice the hat was gone either!" She looked down with wide eyes at my prostrate form. "Um...Haley?"

I sat there, breathing hard.

The chibi face smiled apologetically. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you no da!"

"Wait a second!" I stood up and took a step away from him, looking around wildly. "Genrou and Koji aren't here!" I glared at him accusingly. "What have you done with them?"

Chichiri sweatdropped. "Nothing no da."

"Yeah, we're right here." Koji waved cheerfully as he popped up behind Chichiri. I walked through the doorway and saw Genrou standing behind the two. He was frowning - almost pouting - and had his arms folded across his chest.

I rubbed the back of my head, turning towards the strange but oh-so-cute monk. "Oh... heh, sorry. I kinda overreacted there."

"It's okay no da."

"What's going on?" Dee asked.

"Good question." I couldn't believe Chichiri's mouth had moved to that voice. It was about three times lower and the usual "no da" wasn't at the end. "Tasuki, would you like to explain?"

"Tasuki?" I cocked my head puppy-dog style as I looked at Chichiri, then all around the room. "Who's Tasuki? Where's Tasuki? AH! MY HEAD HURTS!" I fell to the floor, twitching slightly.

Dee sighed. "Sorry about this. She is a blonde after all." She knelt down next to me and put a hand on my back as I hunched over with my head in my hands. "Haley, what did I tell you about questions?"

"Don't ask them when you know they'll be answered," I muttered.

"That's right." Dee patted my head and helped me stand back up. She nodded towards Chichiri. "Go on."

Genrou strode forward, scrunched his face a bit, grunted, and then pulled up the sleeve of his shirt to reveal his right forearm, which now carried a red Chinese... Japanese... brain cramp... character.

"Genrou! That's terrible! Who branded you?" I grabbed his arm and traced the mark.

"Branded?" Genrou raised an eyebrow. "Crazy girl, I dunno what yer talking about. This is a mark showin' that I'm Tasuki, one of th' shichi seishi."

"One of the what-what what-what?" Dee asked with big chibi eyes.

"A shichi seishi – one of the seven Celestial Warriors. I'm one, too. My symbol is on my left knee." Chichiri put his fingers to his lips, said a spell, then pulled up his left pant leg to reveal a character that kind of looked like a number sign. "When the Priestess of Suzaku comes from another world, the shichi seishi must protect her and help her gather all of the other shichi seishi in order to summon Suzaku. When Suzaku is summoned, three wishes will be granted to the Priestess and eternal peace will come to Konan."

I nodded, then had a thought. "Hey... how come you got to say a cool spell, but Genrou had to make weird grunting noises?"

"I had to get it to appear somehow!" argued Genrou, blushing a little. "Not my fault I don't know magic..."

"The prophecy," Dee said quietly, bringing me back to the important stuff.

"That's right," I agreed. I turned to Genrou. "Why didn't you tell us? You had to have known we were from another world."

He tapped his tessen unhappily against his leg. "I knew I'd have to leave Reikaku, and I'm the boss now. It's my job to stay here and lead the guys."

"But it's your destiny to protect and serve the priestess of Suzaku." Genrou scowled at Chichiri for his remark. The monk turned to us and smiled his oh-so-cutest. His voice shot back up to its usual high-pitched tone. "I was led here by my ability to sense ki. Both of you have the power to become the Priestess of Suzaku, but only one of you can actually summon Suzaku no da."

I frowned. "Only one of us?"

Dee and I looked at each other, then back at the boys.

"Harii...would you let go of my arm?"

"Oh right..." I had forgotten that I was still holding onto Genrou's arm, and felt my cheeks flush a little as I let go. Genrou rolled his sleeve back down, muttering something about grabby women.

"So, which one of us is supposed to summon Suzaku?" Dee asked.

"Only time will tell no da. We should probably go to the palace first," Chichiri said.

"The palace?" I asked, cocking my head a little.

"Yes. You two should probably pack your other clothes up and get some food. It's a few days' journey to the palace no da," Chichiri advised.

"You c'n use one of our blankets t'carry everythin' in. We got plenty," Koji offered.

"Thanks," Dee said as we headed to our room, leaving the three men behind.

"He said three wishes, didn't he?" I remarked after we shut the door.

"He did..." My best friend smiled suddenly and raised her arm, shouting, "I call becoming the Priestess!"

I facevaulted. "Dee! That cat said we were both supposed to become Priestesses, remember?"

"But Chichiri said only one of us can become the Priestess," she argued. "And I'd sooner believe an oh-so-cute monk than a smartass talking cat."

"Yeah... come to think of it, so would I."

Just then, the door opened. A blue head of hair poked around the doorway; Koji smiled his usual friendly grin. "Here, ya may wanna pack this for the trip." He handed us a little bundle of crab rangoons. "Call it a goin'-away present from yours truly."

Dee's eyes got big and gooey. "Oh, thanks!" She grabbed one and was about to pop it in her mouth.

"Dee! For the trip!" I reminded her, hitting her in the arm.

"Oh...right..." She lowered her arm sadly, putting the crab rangoon back in the blanket. Koji chuckled and laid the rest of the delicacies next to it.

"You know, I won't be going with you," he said suddenly. "I'm not a shichi seishi, and someone needs to stay here an' be th' boss."

My lower lip trembled a little. "When will we see you again?"

"Prob'ly never," he said, sounding a little sad. "After one of you summons Suzaku, chances are you'll return ta yer world." The two of us looked at him with big, watery eyes. He sweatdropped. "What's wrong?"

"Mm... KOJI!" We hugged him from both sides, spouts of tears pouring from our eyes.

The new bandit leader winced in the bone-crushing hold, but didn't try to break free. "Ouchies..."

"A group hug!" The toothless, dirty old hobo popped out from under the bed and joined the hug. The moment was too touching for us to really care.

xxx

"Ahh...how long is it until we get to the palace?" Genrou...er, Tasuki... er, whatever... slouched his shoulders as he trudged on a little behind the rest of us.

"Not too long no da," Chichiri said, then added more as a request than a remark, "but if we walk any slower we may have to stay the night at an inn no da!"

"Why can't you just teleport us there?" Dee asked, fanning herself against the steamy Konan weather.

A chibi Genrou jumped up in the air. "YOU CAN TELEPORT?" He ran in front of Chichiri, grabbing his shoulders. "Then what're we doin' stumpin' around here for?"

"Well, I can..." Chichiri agreed, rocking from side-to-side as Genrou shook him back and forth. "But I only use it if I need to no da."

"This is an emergency!" Genrou cried unhappily. "I got blisters on my blisters!"

"Genrou, leave the poor guy alone." Dee loosened his hold on Chichiri, who by now looked a little sick from all the shaking.

Chichiri shook his head to clear it. "Thank you, Dee-chan." Dee smiled back at the oh-so-cute monk.

"Thank you, Dee-chan!" Genrou mimicked in a high-pitched Chichiri voice. He was rewarded with a smack over the head, courtesy of Dee.

"Why are we going to the palace anyway?" I asked as we continued walking.

"It's where one of you will eventually summon Suzaku no da. Also, the Emperor should know that the Priestess of Suzaku has shown up. He may be able to help us find the other shichi seishi no da."

"Wait... we're gonna talk to the Emperor?" asked Genrou.

"Of course no da! Did you think we'd just waltz into the palace without talking to him no da?"

"Yeah."

Chichiri sighed.

xxx

"It's so big!" Dee gushed.

"I've never seen anything like it!" I agreed, clasping my hands together happily.

Genrou's eyebrow twitched irritably. "C'n we move on?"

"Yeah, we really need to get to the palace no da," Chichiri reminded us.

"Aww... but, but, but," I stammered, trying to think of a good excuse.

"No buts," Genrou grabbed my forearm and dragged me away from the stand. Chichiri followed shortly, carting my friend along.

"That was the most amazing crab ragoon I've ever seen in my life!" Dee cried, drooling. "I WANNA EAT IT!"

"I'm sure the cooks are quite good at the palace no da. You'll probably like the food there no da."

"I think the two of them would like any food," muttered Genrou.

"That's not true! We just really like Chinese food!" I told him. "I personally hate anything spicy."

Dee grinned, licking her lips at the thought. "I love spicy food!"

"Okay, so Dee does like any food," I corrected.

"No, I don't like baby-in-a-soup." She received three strange looks for that remark. "What? Would you like it?"

We walked on in silence, three very large sweatdrops present.

"We're almost to the palace, but first we'll be going through the slums no da," Chichiri warned after a while. "Dee-chan, get in front of me...um, Dee?" The three of us looked around.

"Oh great! Where the hell is Dee?" Genrou growled.

"Don't worry no da. I can sense her ki."

"Her ki?" I asked.

"Her life force," Genrou explained as Chichiri scrunched his eyebrows together in his oh-so-cute way.

"Stay here no da." Chichiri said after a moment. He walked off into a crowd of people, and then walked back with Dee in front of him, noodles hanging off her face. "Dee-chan and Harii-chan, stay close to us no da." By this time I had gotten used to the way people pronounced my name, but I still had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing at the pronunciation of my name in that high-pitched, oh-so-cute voice of his. Dee sucked in the noodles as Chichiri grabbed her hand. I immediately grabbed Genrou's arm.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm supposed to stay close to you. Remember, you're a seishi. You're supposed to protect me!" I clung on tighter in case he tried to shake me off.

"Shut the hell up! People are gonna hear you! Besides, we still don't know which one of you is the Priestess."

"Oh, right, sorry." I sweatdropped. He continued walking with me holding onto his arm, scowling the whole way. We followed Chichiri's lead for about twenty more minutes until we arrived at the palace.

"It's so big!" Dee gushed.

"I've never seen anything like it!" I agreed, clasping my hands together happily.

"You can't eat it," grumbled Genrou.

As we reached the main gates, two guards stepped out to confront Chichiri.

"STOP THERE!" the first guard said, holding out a hand.

Dee, always the blunt one, strode forward. "Can you let us by? We need to get into the palace." The three of us facevaulted.

"Before I do that," the guard said in - oddly enough - a British accent, "you must answer me these questions three." Dee and I shot each other looks. "Number one: what are your names?"

Chichiri bowed and his voice dropped. "I'm Chichiri, a Suzaku seishi. With me are the Priestess of Suzaku, her friend, and another seishi, Tasuki."

"And ME!" The toothless hobo popped up again, only to be knocked away by Chichiri's staff.

"He's not with us no da." I smiled as his voice returned to its usual high pitched and cheerful tone.

"I'm sorry, but we'll need some proof," said the second guard.

"I thought you'd ask that no da." Chichiri lifted up his pant leg, scrunched his brows together in that oh-so-cute way and put his fingers near his mouth. Upon his knee appeared his red symbol.

The second guard fell to the ground and touched his head to the floor, but the first one still stood firm. "Very well then. Number two: what is your favorite color?"

"Red," Chichiri said.

"Red," Tasuki said.

"Red," Dee said.

"Purple," I told him. Dee gave me a look. "What? I can't be original?"

"Hm… you are quite wise," the guard told us. "Number three: what... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

Chichiri and Tasuki gave each other blank looks, but Dee and I smiled knowingly.

"What do you mean?" I asked in a British accent.

"An African or European swallow?" Dee finished with the same accent.

"What? I don't know thaaaaaaat!" The ground beneath the guard collapsed and he fell down a hole.

Chichiri smiled at the two of us. "You handled that well no da."

Dee shrugged. "Of course. We swiped it from a Monty Python movie."

The second guard sweatdropped. "So... anyway..." He rose to his feet. "I shall escort you to Saihitei-sama. Please, follow me."

"Is that the emperor?" I asked Genrou in a whisper as we followed the guard.

"I think so. I'm not really sure, I've been up in the mountains fer two years." Genrou looked down at my hand. "Y'know, we ain't in the slums anymore."

"Oh, right..." I let go of his arm. We continued following the guard to a huge room with an empty chair sitting at the back on a raised platform.

"Stay here. I will inform the Emperor." The guard left, leaving us alone in this spacious throne room.

"Oooh! Is this the chair for the Priestess of Suzaku?" Dee ran to the oversized chair at the front and put her hands on the arms of the chair (that's confusing!). She held her butt above it, not yet sitting down. Then, slowly, she lowered herself. "Ahhh...this is quite comfy."

"DEE-CHAN!" A chibi Chichiri waved his arms wildly. "What are you doing na no da? That's the Emperor's chair no da!"

"You're gonna piss him off!" Genrou wailed.

"Are you sure? That guy sure sounded excited when he heard I was coming. Why wouldn't they have this chair for me?" Dee leaned back, sighing happily.

"Dee! We don't even know who the Priestess is yet, so get down from there!"

"But I called it last night, remember?"

"Eh..." I sweatdropped.

Chichiri ran towards Dee. "Would you please get off of that no da?" Just then the door opened. "Ah...daaaaaa..." Chichiri immediately bowed to the ground as he turned around. Genrou fell to the floor as well as he faced the man who had just entered. I just stood there, a bit frozen, staring at the man. He was tall, with long, dark brown - NOT A WORD, DEE! - hair tied up into a box-bun-thing. He looked noble and proud, just like an Emperor should. Genrou saw me out of the corner of his eye and hit my leg.

"Oh, right!" I mimicked Genrou and Chichiri, bowing to the floor.

"Saihitei-sama, I'm sorry about this no da. Please forgive this girl. She has no idea what she's doing no da. She just arrived in this world the other day, but I'm not saying she was born yesterday. She may be the..."

"The Priestess of Suzaku." His rich voice sent chills down my back. "I've waited a long time to meet you." I could tell by his footsteps that he was walking towards Dee. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. "Finally, the girl who will grant my country peace has arrived. Please, tell me your name."

"I'm Dee," she answered.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye as I saw him bend down and kiss her on the hand. Then he bowed to her just like Chichiri, Genrou and I were doing to him. After a moment of silence, he stood up. "All of you, please rise." We did as he said, except for Dee, who was still sitting in the chair. "I'm sure you must all be tired from your travels. While you eat dinner I'll have your chambers prepared for you. We'll talk in the morning."

"More Chinese food!" Dee exclaimed happily, jumping out of the chair.

Saihitei-sama laughed a deep, rich laugh. It reminded me of coffee in a way. "You may have all the Chinese food you want."

"REALLY?"

"Yes." He laughed again. "Shall I escort you there?" He held out his arm.

"Onward, noble stallion!" Dee set her hand on his arm, and he led her, smiling. The three of us followed.

xxx

"I'm sorry, I forgot to ask sooner," Hotohori said as he led the way to dining room. "What are your names?"

"I'm Chichiri," I said.

"I'm Haley no da," said Chichiri.

"Um...wait...I'm Haley," I corrected.

"Da...sorry, I'm Chichiri no da."

"I'm Genrou… though I guess I should call myself Tasuki now, since it's my seishi name," the bandit said to himself more than anyone else.

"Yes. My seishi name is Hotohori, so you should call me that," Saihitei... no, Hotohori... Damn all these names... said.

Dee's eyes widened. "What? You're a seishi too?"

"Yes, and..." A gust of wind swept through from out of nowhere, making his hair fall out of its box-bun thing and blow in the wind.

"Ow!" Genrou clutched his eye as Hotohori's hair hit it.

Hotohori grabbed Dee's hands in his and stared at her, smiling that charming smile. "As long as the stars shine in the sky, I shall protect you with my life."

"Um... thanks?" she responded, eyes wide and confused.

"Genrou, you okay?" I whispered as I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah... Geez, his hair is freakin' strong 'n healthy. I wonder what kinda shampoo (1) he uses?" I sweatdropped as he blinked his eyes a couple of times.

(1) Haley note: Perhaps Herbal Essences?(2)
(2) Dee note: YES, YES, YES!

Hotohori-sama grabbed his box-bun thing, held out his arm and continued leading Dee to the dining room. "Here." He opened a pair of gold-enameled double doors. Plates, chopsticks and goblets had been set on a large table in the center of the spacious room. "Jon, please lead these four to a place where they can wash up."

"Yes sir!" A man in the corner of the room walked in front of us, bowed, and then stood up. "Please follow me."

As we followed the man, I wondered why in the world there'd be a man named Jon in a China-like world, and why the emperor had used a term that made us sound like we were from the Little House on the Prairie books. After we had "washed up," we headed back to the dining room.

"Oooooh, it all looks so good!" Dee gasped.

"Let's eat!" I cried.

"Fer once I agree with you," Genrou said with a smirk.

"I'm starving too no da!"

"Eat as much as you like," said the Emperor as he sat down at the head of the table. He spread out his hands and smiled that charming smile. The four of us sat across from each other on the long sides of the table nearest to Hotohori and began filling our plates. "Where did you all travel from?"

"Around... Mount... Reikaku... no da..." Chichiri answered between bites.

"Mount Reikaku?" Hotohori's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "I've heard there are some bandits around there. Did you run into any?"

Genrou sweatdropped. "Yeah, but they weren't any problem," he said, then dove right back into his meal. There was a bit of silence as we kept eating, then it was broken again by Hotohori-sama.

"Harii, you said your name was?" he asked politely, nodding in my direction.

I looked up, a bit startled that he'd acknowledged me. "Yes, that's right."

"That doesn't sound like a seishi name or a Konan name."

"It's not. I traveled here with Dee from her world. To tell you the truth, we're not sure which one of us is supposed to be the Priestess of Suzaku," I explained.

"Yes we do!" Dee finally took a break from her dinner. "I called it last night!"

"Dee-chan! You can't just call being a Priestess!" I yelled.

"Sure I can!" she replied cheerfully. "I just did, didn't I?"

"I'm sorry for bringing this up during your long-awaited dinner," he said with a smile. "Why don't we wait to discuss this in the morning?"

We silently accepted his offer as we continued stuffing our faces.

xxx

Hotohori-sama led us to a row of rooms. He waved a hand at them. "There are four unoccupied chambers here. Take whichever one you like. I have to tend to some duties, but I'll see you for breakfast in the morning. Good night." With that, Hotohori-sama walked off.

"Eh, I'm so tired... I take the first room!" Dee called, then practically fell though the doorway, slamming it shut. "Good night!" she yelled through the door.

Chichiri, Genrou and I walked to the next room.

"Wow! This is nothing like the bandit's hideout!" I exclaimed as I walked in the room. One wall was covered with an intricately-woven tapestry, and another wall housed a bed complete with curtains and big, fluffy pillows.

"Yer so freakin' loud! I swear, yer gonna spill a big secret some day t'someone if y'don't quiet down." Genrou folded his arms across his chest as he spoke, narrowing his eyes. "And it ain't helpin' that yer insultin' me."

"Oh... Sorry!" I apologized. "Bandits and emperors don't really mix do they?"

"That's right, they don't," Genrou raised a chibi fist in the air. "Even if th' bandits of Mount Reikaku fight the strong an' help the weak!"

I plugged my ears. "You're the one saying I'm loud?"

"Oh well...it doesn't really matter. Hotohori isn't around anyway. Is it just me, or is he..." Genrou's voice picked up a few octaves and he clasped his hands under his chin. His eyes got big and glossy as he fluttered his lashes melodramatically. "Totally into Dee-chan?"

"I think you're right no da. But when you think about it, it's not often that the Emperor meets someone who will know him as a person and not as the emperor no da. The change is probably nice." Chichiri sighed as he sat down on the bed. "I'm ready to sleep. I don't feel like walking to the other rooms, so if it's all right with you, I'm taking this one no da."

I sighed, collapsing to the floor. "Can I just stay here? I don't want to move anymore."

"I guess so." Chichiri yawned. "Daaa..."

"What? But ya slept on the floor last night!" Genrou reminded me.

"So? I'm too lazy to move." Genrou picked me up. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked, blushing a little.

"What kind of moron wouldn't want t'sleep in a big, fancy palace bed when they get the chance?" He shook his head and walked out of the room, carrying me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "G'night Chichiri!"

"Good night no da."

"Here." He kicked open the next door and literally dropped me on the bed, then walked out. "G'night." He waved, then shut the door.

"Um...good night, Genrou..."


Preview of Next Episode….

FREAKY CAT THING: The Priestesses have arrived at the palace, and already one of them has found three of their seishi. Yet the question still remains: who is the Priestess of Suzaku and who was simply brought along for the ride?
DEE: I'm the Priestess, I said so myself!
HALEY: Um... I don't think it works like that, Dee-chan…
DEE: Maybe not. Hm... so, who is the Priestess?
FREAKY CAT THING: MY... STER... I... OUS...
DEE: Ooooh, right...
HALEY: Anyway, to find out about the Priestess and meet some more, uh, unique seishi, you'll have to stick around for Chapter Three: "Kutou's Craptacular Seishi."