Chapter Seven:
Just Your Typical, Loving, Annoying-as-Hell-Onii-chan...

"Have you seen a short girl with blonde hair come in here? She's my little sister, and her name's Haley. She may smell like farts." Leave it to my darling brother Max to give such a charming description of me.

"I think so," the librarian said, nodding towards the back of the room. "She came in here with a taller brunette a long time ago. I saw them walk into that section, but I haven't seen them since."

"Oh, that must be Dee, they're practically glued at the hip. Thanks." The pencil-thin, brown-haired college kid with the huge Adam's apple walked in the direction the lady at the desk had pointed. "She was totally checking me out," he said to himself. He noticed my book bag on a table and went to investigate. "This is definitely hers...but where'd the little shitbag go?"

"Hey! Why are you messing with my sister's stuff?" A boy a little shorter and tad younger walked up to Max after receiving a "shhh" from an elderly lady nearby.

"Your sister? Wait... are you Dee's stepbrother?"

"Yeah, I'm Colin... have you seen her? Our parents sent me out to look for her." He sighed. "I don't know why they can't just be glad they're finally getting some peace and quiet. She's even loud when she types! Anyway, I know that's her stuff because that KU folder is filled with Jeff Boschee pictures. That's gotta be her, no one else is that obsessed over a friggin' basketball player."

"No, I haven't. She must be with Haley, though. I'm Max, Haley's brother, and I can't seem to find her," replied Max.

"Damn... looks like we've both got the same problem."

"The same problem indeed," a MY...STER...I...OUS... voice said.

Max looked around, as did Colin. "Who was that?"

"YO MAMA!"

The two boys exchanged odd looks.

"Down here, you fools!" The two looked down at their feet and jumped, seeing a freaky cat-looking thing.

"Who the hell're you?" asked Colin with a slight hick accent.

"It doesn't matter who I am, what matters is that I know where your sisters are."

"Yes! Now I can go home and make movies about mutating cockroaches while she does my laundry!" cheered Max. "Where are they?"

"They are in a different world."

"WHAT?" they both cried.

"They've gone through a book to a different world, where they must fulfill a prophecy."

"Okay, freaky cat-thing!" Colin picked the cat up by the scruff of the neck and glared at it. "You better tell us exactly where they are and what's going on or I swear I'll kick your ass. I'm not gonna miss anymore Monday Night Football than I have to!"

"Calm down. Such aggression will bring you success..." his voice deepened. "AND MUCH CONFLICT!"

"Show us this book," ordered Max matter-of-factly.

Colin looked back at him with a raised eyebrow. "You actually believe this?"

"I make movies with zombies and mutating cockroaches, of course I believe this. Besides, did you believe in a talking cat until now?"

Colin looked back at the cat. "Good point." He let the cat go.

The cat shook its fur, than walked on. The two teens followed. He pointed with his tail at an opened book. "Read." Then he vanished.

"Ah...this sucks...we have to read now? Hmm... well, how about you read and I'll go?" Colin waved and turned to exit. Max caught his hand and handcuffed himself to Colin. "What are you doing?" Dee's brother demanded.

"If I have to suffer, you have to suffer."

"Damn. Fine." He raised an eyebrow at Max. "Eh... wait... why the hell are you carrying those handcuffs?"

"I make movies. Of course I have these." Colin gave him another odd, 'What the hell would that have to do with anything?' look as Max picked up the book and began reading it.

"Whoa...this is weird."

"What's weird?"

"Listen to this..."

xxx

"So, why have you called this meeting, Harii-sama?" asked Snoop Dogu.

"It's about Miboshi, the seventh seishi," I answered.

"The seventh seishi?" Nakago stood up. "You've found him?"

"Well... not exactly." I twisted a piece of hair nervously. "You see, um... how do I put this? He's dead. Yeah, that sums it up."

"He's WHAT?" Tomo screeched. "You've failed! You've failed and this will cause Nakago-sama many problems!"

"Let me join you in kicking her ass, Tomo!" Soi yelled, jumping to her feet.

Amiboshi stood in front of me. "Wait, you guys! There's still a way to summon Seiryuu!"

"How?" asked Nakago.

"Harii-sama? Would you like to explain?"

"Amiboshi... I told you to stop calling me Haley-sama."

"No, you told me to stop calling you Harii-sama."

I sweatdropped. "Eh... just don't add 'sama,' please? We're friends."

He smiled. "Sorry Harii."

"It's okay." I smiled back, then looked at the others as Amiboshi stood next to me. "All right. A shinzaho is an item that was worn by a Priestess when she summoned one of the beast Gods."

Tomo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and 'defecate' is a fancy word for pooing. What's that got to do with the price of tea in Konan?"

"Tomo! Let me finish!" I took a breath. "So far, there are two shinzaho. The one worn by the Priestess of Genbu, and the one worn by the Priestess of Byakko."

"No shit Sherlock," retorted Soi.

"LET ME FINISH!" The wind blew as I bellowed, releasing a sound quite deeper than my own voice. All were instantly silent with wide-eyed expressions. "Thank you." I smiled. "As I was saying, if we collect these two shinzaho, we can summon Seiryuu."

"Well that's great, but where are these shinzaho? And what exactly are they?" asked Snoop Dogu.

Amiboshi answered his brother. "We know the shinzaho are in each of the Priestess's countries, but as to what they are..."

I piped up. "The Priestess of Genbu wore an earring, and the Priestess of Byakko wore pretty pink panties." Amiboshi glanced at me and I shrugged. "I did some research."

"We'll have to start out at once." Nakago stood up and walked out nobly, trying to act like the seishi leader that he was supposed to be.

"I'll help you pack!" Tomo ran after him.

"I'll wash all of your stuff, and then I'll pack it for you!" Soi followed the two.

xxx

"Your majesty! It's a miracle!" A group of guards ran to Hotohori-sama and threw themselves to the ground, bowing and crying all at once. "We thought you had exploded!"

Dee sweatdropped. "I knew that statue thing was a bad idea."

"I'm fine. Please let the people know that it was only a sculpture of me that exploded, and that after today I will make a public showing."

"Yes, sir! We're so sorry about this! It's just... we were so sure it was you!" The guards remained bowing as the Emperor, Priestess and seishi walked by. "Oh, sir! I almost forgot! A young boy showed up, asking to see the Emperor. Despite what we told him, he kept saying you were alive. He's staying in the chamber next to Tasuki-sama's room."

"Thank you. I will go see him now."

Hotohori walked to the chamber as the rest followed. "Knock! Knock!" he cried out.

Everyone fell over.

The door opened, thankfully with no sound effects this time. "Hotohori-sama! You've come just as I've predicted. I am Chiriko, one of the shichi seishi."

"Wha?" Everyone stood up and stared at the ADOWABLE! little boy standing in the doorway.

"As you predicted no da? Are you psychic?"

"No." The boy laughed. "My gift is wisdom. I studied the stars. From them, I knew that the Priestess had appeared. I also knew that when I appeared, a majority of the seishi would be gathered already."

"Not most, babay! ALL!" The Priestess grabbed all of her seishi in a group hug, grinning wide.

"Ouchies no da..."

xxx

"They didn't even think about planning what we were doing first!" I cried with an exasperated sigh.

"It's all right. Suboshi – I mean Snoop Dogu will help us plan our trip."

"I will?"

"I'll go get some maps." Amiboshi left.

xxx

After the Priestess of Suzaku and her seishi had looked over the directions from the scroll, they immediately called in some servants to help them prepare for the summoning. By late afternoon, all they needed was to rest and celebrate for the coming morning. But relaxation wasn't the only thing on the Priestess' agenda. Hotohori had asked Dee to speak with him.

"What is it Hotohori?" she asked once they reached his chamber, though she kind of already knew.

He immediately grabbed her hands in his own as a wind from nowhere came and blew his oh-so-untangly hair in the wind. "I need you to answer my question. Once you summon Suzaku, you have to tell him your three wishes. Once he grants them, you'll be sent back. You need to decide if you want to stay here or not as my Empress."

"Oh crap... the three wishes?" Dee's eyes got small. "I forgot about those..."

"Dee, I need your answer. Please. I also want to tell my people tonight if you want to stay."

"Um... oey... um..." Dee pointed behind the Emperor. "Look! A rabid flying wildebeest!"

"Really? Where?" Hotohori turned around to follow her gaze. "I don't see any..." he turned back to see nothing but a cloud of dust where Dee had been. "Dee?" He sighed. "I suppose she needs time to think."

Dee ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran..."WE GET THE IDEA!" Dee screamed.

Heh... right... sorry about that. Well, she ran until she got to a reclusive clearing with a pond. She stopped to catch her breath, panting hard and remembering that this was why she had always hated running.

"Is everything all right no da?"

"Chichiri...?" She looked up at the smiling monk sitting on a rock fishing, and couldn't help but smile back. Thinking it looked peaceful, she walked up and sat down next to him. "Yeah, I'm all right," she lied. "I just wanted to get away for a second."

"Everyone needs to do that every now and then no da." He looked back, then was quiet for a moment. "What did you need to get away from no da?"

"Oh... well, heh..." She turned her gaze towards the pond. "Nothing."

The monk looked over at her for a second. She felt his gaze and looked back, blushing a bit as she found him staring intently at her. "Is something bothering you?"

"Well... I don't know if I should talk about it."

Chichiri shrugged and turned his attention back to fishing. "If that's the way you feel no da."

"Hotohori asked me to marry him!" she blurted out.

"DAA?" He fell in the water.

"Chichiri!" She held out a hand as the monk swam up. He looked at it for a moment, and Dee swore she saw him frown for a second. Then he accepted the help and climbed up.

"You could have warned me that you were going to say something like that no da!"

Dee shrugged, rubbing the back of her head. "You did practically beat it out of me, y'know."

Chichiri gave her a questioning look. He spotted his fishing rod floating, and reached down to pull it up.

My best friend glanced at the monk in the moonlight, noticing something very, very unusual and most definitely not natural. "Um...Chichiri..." Dee pointed at his head, finger shaking slightly. "You... your face is, um... peeling...?"

"Oh, that." He laughed a little. "TA-DA!" He pulled off his... face?

"WHA!" This time Dee fell in the water. "What the hell?"

"I have spares no da." Dee raised an eyebrow, then began picking at the top right corner of her head. Chichiri waved his arms wildly. "You don't have spares no da! This isn't my real face, it's just a mask!"

"A mask?" She grinned. "Oh... cool! How does a mask move with your face like that?"

"It's not a regular mask no da. Did you forget I'm a sorcerer?"

"Do all sorcerers have masks?"

"No… no da," he answered briefly and somewhat quietly, the "no da" sounding like an afterthought. There was a moment of silence. "Anyway, what did you tell Hotohori?"

"Oh... that..." Dee was forced back to reality. She noticed that when she was with Chichiri, she never felt tense or confused - it was as if seeing his smile made her forget all of her worries. "I sorta... ran away."

"It's not good to run away from problems no da."

"You just said everybody needed to get away sometimes!" she argued. Leave it to Dee to rationalize everything.

"I didn't mean at times like this, when you have things to settle no da." Chichiri fell into silence. He was smart enough to know that she needed somebody to listen more than preach.

"I guess so, but..." Dee sighed a little. "He asked me a long time ago, and I told him I would think about it. I still can't seem to come to an answer."

"Oh, so that's what you guys were discussing that one night no da."

"YOU WERE LISTENING?"

"Ah! Not for very long no da!" A chibi Chichiri waved his arms, almost dropping his fishing pole. He turned back to normal, and his voice deepened. "Do you love him no da?"

"ZEN RUN TO HEEM!" she shouted out of nowhere, quoting one of her favorite South Park bits.

DEE! I'M TRYING TO BE SERIOUS FOR HALF A SECOND!

"Oh... right... my bad..." She cleared her throat. "I know he would treat me well, but that's not love, is it? Besides, there are so many people I'd miss back home, including Haley-chan. Not to mention movies, the internet, CDs, and hair dryers. Could I really leave all of that?" She sat there, staring and thinking for a moment. "Plus, I think I love you Chichiri... GAAAAASP!" She gasped loudly and clapped her hand over her mouth.

Chichiri's head whipped around and his eyebrows shot into his hairline. "Sorry, what was that no da? I conveniently didn't hear you."

"Oh... I said, um... I think elephant juice tastes dandy."

"Elephant juice... no da?"

"It's a drink in my world, and oh-so-tasty." Dee was very thankful that Chichiri was from a different world at that moment. She decided to change the subject again. "Maybe I just don't want to tell him 'no' because I don't want to hurt his feelings. Then I think, 'What if he was in my world? Would I feel differently then?' Ow... brain overloading again." Dee drew her knees to her chest, resting her head on them. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up.

"You're a nice girl, but love will always cause some pain no da. It's not your fault that you don't feel the same. Always remember that no da."

Dee wished he wouldn't have taken his hand off her shoulder, but was intrigued to find him reaching for his mask and pulling it off. "Chichiri...?"

His voice deepened. "This scar is proof of that no da." Dee stared at him for a long minute. He looked down. "Sorry. Does it bother you?"

"Huh? Oh, no!" She waved her arms wildly. "I was just surprised is all! Until like three minutes ago I thought the mask was your real face! I mean Tasuki has fangs and Haley-chan said one of her seishi is a wolf and another has like feathers coming out of his ass or something so I figured you looking like a cat was totally normal around here but now that I've seen your real face for the first time I wanted to get a good look at it and..."

She realized she was rambling and stopped, blushing. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "Anyway, I, er... is it weird to say that I like your face? Like I'm used to thinking of you as oh-so-cute, but you're pretty handsome actually, and your eyes are a really nice color and - wait, shit - your eye, I mean - because - but that doesn't - ahhhh geez..." She turned blue and hung her head. "I'm just going to stop talking forever, okay? Sorry I'm so weird."

To her surprise, he chuckled. "That's all right. Your seishi are weird too. We make a good team. And... thank you. Really." He slipped his mask back on and patted her shoulder. "Do you know what you need to do now no da?"

She nodded. "Yeah." Dee stood, realizing she was a little sad to be leaving. Spending time with Chichiri was so comfortable, even if she had stuffed her foot halfway down her throat this time. "Thanks for listening, Chichiri."

"Any time, no da."

xxx

"HA! MY SISTER!" Colin burst out laughing. "GETTING PROPOSED TO BY AN EMPEROR?"

"Shhh! Don't yell in the library!" The dirty old hobo poked his head into the aisle, then disappeared again.

xxx

"So it's to the country of Genbu first, to find an earring." Snoop Dogu sighed. "An earring. We're supposed to find an earring." He slammed his head against the table again and again. "Why did that guy Miboshi try to attack them in the first place?"

"Maybe he was just crazy like Nakago," reasoned Amiboshi.

"Maybe he was drunk! GAHA!"

I punched the dirty old hobo in the head.

xxx

"Wait a second...a dirty old hobo?" Max scratched his head, looking around in confusion.

xxx

Dee stood in front of Hotohori's room, trying to build up enough courage to talk to him. Finally, she gathered up every ounce of strength she had and knocked on the door.

"Come in!" She reluctantly opened the door. The first thing she saw was Hotohori's concerned face. "Dee..."

"I'm so sorry Hotohori!" she cried. "I shouldn't have run off like that!"

The Emperor walked forward and embraced her in a tight hug. "It was my fault. I've pushed you into all of this so soon! I'm so sorry! Please forgive a pathetic man like me. My advisors have been pushing me for an heir, and I just love you so much."

"Whoa... um... Hotohori..."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He tightened his hold, crying little rivers. "PLEASE FORGIVE ME!"

"I forgive you, I forgive you!" Dee tried to push the sobbing man off of her. He finally let go, and wiped his eyes. Somehow, they weren't red or anything - he looked just like he had washed his face. Damn, I wish I could cry without looking stupid.

"Me too," Dee agreed.

Hotohori looked around. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, nothing, I was just responding to the narration."

"Ah... I... see..." He coughed nervously, then smiled nervously. "Do you have an answer for me?"

"Oh, yeah."

"YOU WILL? I'm so happy!" Hotohori once more hugged her tightly.

"Oh... I meant that I have..." The Emperor pulled her back and looked at her intently. Dee shook her head. "I meant that I have an answer, not that I would marry you."

"Oh... and what's the answer?"

"No, I can't."

"Oh... well then... um..." He rubbed the back of his head and looked away. "This is awkward..."

"I'm so sorry Hotohori. You've been so nice to me, but I just don't love you," Dee said, trying to get him to understand it without hurting his feelings. "Besides, I don't think I could leave my world."

"I understand..." He turned around and hung his head sadly, whimpering a little.

"I'm sorry..." Dee said again, feeling really bad.

Hotohori turned around with puppy dog eyes, his quivering eyebrows revealing hope.

"Oh... well maybe I could..." Dee relented, playing with her earlobe. "I mean..." She shook her head hard. "AAAAAAH! NOOOOO! Don't do that puppy-dog eye act on me!"

She turned around and ran out the chamber door.


Next Episode Preview…
FREAKY CAT THING: Another useless chapter... God, when will this end?
DEE: (Drop-kicks him) Quiet, you! At least the audience got to meet our crazy brothers, and I got to have an oh-so-cute Chichiri moment! Though, every moment with Chichiri is oh-so-cute...
HALEY: (Grumbling) I barely had a part in this chapter! And poor Hotohori...
DEE: What are you complaining about? You're the one writing this thing, aren't you?
HALEY: Oh... heh, guess so! In that case, I'd better get our groups back together, so I can be with all the sexy guys again!
FREAKY CAT THING: {Sigh} I quit.
DEE: Don't touch that dial, you've still gotta hang around for the next riveting chapter, "ARGH MATEY!"