This is my first fic, so be gentle. Please. I'm always open to comments
and constructive criticism.
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He held her tightly. A little too tightly for comfort, but overall, she didn't mind. She rather liked the feeling of a man's tight embrace and was fully prepared to make this exception. Not exception, that is the wrong word. More so a compromise. Isn't that what a relationship is about? Compromising to make way for each other's needs, feelings and desires. A little mental anguish now, to secure better things for the future. Yes, compromise.
She feared that if she told him to back off just a bit, he would become offended and leave. It had been so long since she'd felt this way with anyone. She wasn't about to jeopardize it, not for few moments of discomfort. Mind you, she'd been out of the dating game for quite some time, and wasn't really sure what to expect.
'Shouldn't I be able to tell him the truth about how I feel? How I need more space? I mean, just for now, until I get used to it? I'm sure if we moved just a little slower, I'd become fine with this degree of closeness. Not fine, more than fine. I'd learn to love it. Or just wake up one day loving it. I'm not too sure how it works.'
'But what if he doesn't want to take it any slower. What if he thinks this is already too slow? Is this too slow? Should I be instigating more?'
She chided herself mentally, forcing those thoughts out of her mind. She shouldn't be letting herself feel this way. She was a grown woman after all. She inside knew that honesty should be the best policy. Isn't that the advise of the cliché? Honesty is the best policy. One shouldn't have to live a lie, just to live at all. Should they? She knew she owed it to herself to be truthful. To come right out and speak her mind.
"Joey?" She said, looking to the man sitting directly behind her. He had his arms wrapped tightly around her midsection.
"Yes," was all he said.
"I think this, with us," she paused. "I need some space." She saw a look of hurt mixed with confusion cross his strikingly sharp features. She didn't want him to take what she was saying the wrong way, so she continued, "No, don't get me wrong. I like this. I like us, but I'm just not ready for *this*." She motioned towards his arms, and started peeling back his digits. "This, here, is too close for me. I just don't feel good this close. Given time, I'm sure," she began but was cut off.
"Time. Time! I've given you nothing but time. I understand that you've had a colourful past when in comes to other men, but they aren't me. You have to get over your past, and get on with your future. I'm sorry about what happened to you, but I'm not about to let it happen again. I love you, Sara." He tightened his grip on her.
"No, Joey, *you* have to understand," she began, trying to push her fears farther inside. She hated feeling this way, but she just didn't know how else to deal with it. Being this close made her feel afraid. Afraid to let anyone in, afraid to repeat her past mistakes, afraid to make new ones. She pulled harder at his arms, and tried to stand up, but he just held her smiling.
She was a whole roller coaster of emotions. The happiness that she once had felt was quickly being replaced by fear, and then anger. "Let me go," she ordered.
"No," he said with a grin.
"Let me go now!" She said a little louder than expected. She wanted to be alone and she wanted it fast.
"You need time? I've got time, but we're going to spend it, here, together becoming comfortable with one another. You *will* feel comfortable with me and you'll thank me for this later. Maybe not tomorrow, but you *will* thank me."
She started to panic. Her anger now replaced by her former fear. She wondered just why she even spoke up. She shouldn't have. He would have gone home soon enough, she'd have all night to focus on her work and deal with her insecurities. Her work. She noted the time, and realized she was supposed to be starting work in less than an hour. That was the excuse she was looking for. She always left early and arrived well before the others.
"We will spend time together. Tomorrow. I promise. Tonight I have to go to work. I should already be gone. Really, tomorrow, I'm your girl. We'll have breakfast, after I'm done my shift. We'll talk and come back to my place. We'll work it out tomorrow." She shimmied herself out of his embrace, pushing herself to her feet.
"We are working this out tonight, Sara," he told her, forcing her back down to his level. With a firm grip on her forearms, he continued with, "I see what you are doing. Trying to avoid the real issue here. You *need* me to sort this out for you. You can't go on living like this. You have to let someone in. Can't you see how much I love you? I'm doing this for you."
"And I'm happy that you care enough to help me get past this, but really I have to go to work. They are expecting me," she told him, as his grip continued to intensify. Finally, she said, "You're hurting me."
His only response was a small chuckle, and, "No pain, no gain. Isn't that what everyone's saying these days?"
"I *said*, you're hurting me!" She struggled briefly, realizing just how far to nowhere she was really getting, and decided she'd had enough. She pulled her head forward for momentum, and then slammed it backward, as hard as she could into that of her captor.
He really didn't find that amusing, especially the part where blood began to drip from his nose. So, he pushed her away from him, sending her skidding across the floor. She scrambled to her feet, but not quick enough as he was already up himself, and in mid-swing towards her face. The two connected with enough force to send her back to the floor. This time she didn't get back up. "All I wanted was to love you. For you to love me back. You'll see, after tonight, you'll understand. This, between us, will be great."
She lay dazed on her side, not able to keep a clear thought in her mind. The only thing she knew for certain was that she needed help, she needed her gun. Where did she leave it? She rolled onto her back to get a better view of the room, and winced at the pain that shot through her head with every move she made.
"Looking for this?" Joey began, but was interrupted by a ring of the telephone. "Hmmm," he thought aloud as he looked at her call display. "Grissom. Everyone's *favourite* boss." He pointed the gun directly at her with one hand, and reached for the phone with the other. "Say a word, and I'll kill you."
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He held her tightly. A little too tightly for comfort, but overall, she didn't mind. She rather liked the feeling of a man's tight embrace and was fully prepared to make this exception. Not exception, that is the wrong word. More so a compromise. Isn't that what a relationship is about? Compromising to make way for each other's needs, feelings and desires. A little mental anguish now, to secure better things for the future. Yes, compromise.
She feared that if she told him to back off just a bit, he would become offended and leave. It had been so long since she'd felt this way with anyone. She wasn't about to jeopardize it, not for few moments of discomfort. Mind you, she'd been out of the dating game for quite some time, and wasn't really sure what to expect.
'Shouldn't I be able to tell him the truth about how I feel? How I need more space? I mean, just for now, until I get used to it? I'm sure if we moved just a little slower, I'd become fine with this degree of closeness. Not fine, more than fine. I'd learn to love it. Or just wake up one day loving it. I'm not too sure how it works.'
'But what if he doesn't want to take it any slower. What if he thinks this is already too slow? Is this too slow? Should I be instigating more?'
She chided herself mentally, forcing those thoughts out of her mind. She shouldn't be letting herself feel this way. She was a grown woman after all. She inside knew that honesty should be the best policy. Isn't that the advise of the cliché? Honesty is the best policy. One shouldn't have to live a lie, just to live at all. Should they? She knew she owed it to herself to be truthful. To come right out and speak her mind.
"Joey?" She said, looking to the man sitting directly behind her. He had his arms wrapped tightly around her midsection.
"Yes," was all he said.
"I think this, with us," she paused. "I need some space." She saw a look of hurt mixed with confusion cross his strikingly sharp features. She didn't want him to take what she was saying the wrong way, so she continued, "No, don't get me wrong. I like this. I like us, but I'm just not ready for *this*." She motioned towards his arms, and started peeling back his digits. "This, here, is too close for me. I just don't feel good this close. Given time, I'm sure," she began but was cut off.
"Time. Time! I've given you nothing but time. I understand that you've had a colourful past when in comes to other men, but they aren't me. You have to get over your past, and get on with your future. I'm sorry about what happened to you, but I'm not about to let it happen again. I love you, Sara." He tightened his grip on her.
"No, Joey, *you* have to understand," she began, trying to push her fears farther inside. She hated feeling this way, but she just didn't know how else to deal with it. Being this close made her feel afraid. Afraid to let anyone in, afraid to repeat her past mistakes, afraid to make new ones. She pulled harder at his arms, and tried to stand up, but he just held her smiling.
She was a whole roller coaster of emotions. The happiness that she once had felt was quickly being replaced by fear, and then anger. "Let me go," she ordered.
"No," he said with a grin.
"Let me go now!" She said a little louder than expected. She wanted to be alone and she wanted it fast.
"You need time? I've got time, but we're going to spend it, here, together becoming comfortable with one another. You *will* feel comfortable with me and you'll thank me for this later. Maybe not tomorrow, but you *will* thank me."
She started to panic. Her anger now replaced by her former fear. She wondered just why she even spoke up. She shouldn't have. He would have gone home soon enough, she'd have all night to focus on her work and deal with her insecurities. Her work. She noted the time, and realized she was supposed to be starting work in less than an hour. That was the excuse she was looking for. She always left early and arrived well before the others.
"We will spend time together. Tomorrow. I promise. Tonight I have to go to work. I should already be gone. Really, tomorrow, I'm your girl. We'll have breakfast, after I'm done my shift. We'll talk and come back to my place. We'll work it out tomorrow." She shimmied herself out of his embrace, pushing herself to her feet.
"We are working this out tonight, Sara," he told her, forcing her back down to his level. With a firm grip on her forearms, he continued with, "I see what you are doing. Trying to avoid the real issue here. You *need* me to sort this out for you. You can't go on living like this. You have to let someone in. Can't you see how much I love you? I'm doing this for you."
"And I'm happy that you care enough to help me get past this, but really I have to go to work. They are expecting me," she told him, as his grip continued to intensify. Finally, she said, "You're hurting me."
His only response was a small chuckle, and, "No pain, no gain. Isn't that what everyone's saying these days?"
"I *said*, you're hurting me!" She struggled briefly, realizing just how far to nowhere she was really getting, and decided she'd had enough. She pulled her head forward for momentum, and then slammed it backward, as hard as she could into that of her captor.
He really didn't find that amusing, especially the part where blood began to drip from his nose. So, he pushed her away from him, sending her skidding across the floor. She scrambled to her feet, but not quick enough as he was already up himself, and in mid-swing towards her face. The two connected with enough force to send her back to the floor. This time she didn't get back up. "All I wanted was to love you. For you to love me back. You'll see, after tonight, you'll understand. This, between us, will be great."
She lay dazed on her side, not able to keep a clear thought in her mind. The only thing she knew for certain was that she needed help, she needed her gun. Where did she leave it? She rolled onto her back to get a better view of the room, and winced at the pain that shot through her head with every move she made.
"Looking for this?" Joey began, but was interrupted by a ring of the telephone. "Hmmm," he thought aloud as he looked at her call display. "Grissom. Everyone's *favourite* boss." He pointed the gun directly at her with one hand, and reached for the phone with the other. "Say a word, and I'll kill you."
