3- Wishing Only Wounds the Heart
Once in their room, Elphaba changed into one of her dark flannel nightgowns and carefully hung Galinda's dress on a hanger on the closet door. She put out all the lights except for one candle next to Galinda's bedside, and crawled under the covers. Something fell off the bed while pulling back the covers, so she bent to pick it up. It was the green envelope, the invitation from the Wizard, her chance to show everyone who and what she was. We are all counting on you to make some good in Oz…
"Oh, Fiyero," she sighed, and immediately regretted it. She was ashamed of herself. She acted like a lovesick silly child. Just like Boq did when he was around Galinda. It was so unlike her to behave that way, yet she couldn't resist it. She knew she had to stop it whatsoever. It wouldn't help anyway. Galinda had him, and why shouldn't she? She was beautiful, the most beautiful girl in Shiz, and the most popular. Elphaba had nothing of that. She could never compete with Galinda. She would never be as beautiful, or as popular, and make believe that she would was not going help, either.
That's it, she decided, no more pretending, no more Galindafication. There was no point to it anyway.
She pulled the covers above her head and tried to doze off but couldn't. Fiyero's voice echoed through her mind, whispering softly into the silence of the night; I better get to safety, I mean the cub… I am staring, my apologies… You must think that I'm really stupid or something… This is why you are so pretty today… Do you ever let anyone else talk?… Elf… Elf…Elf… Elphaba…
"Elphaba!"
Elphaba woke up in a jolt at the sound of Galinda's shout. "What?" she shouted back.
Galinda smiled. "I'm standing here trying to wake you for 15 minutes! You'll be late to Morrible's class if you won't wake up now," she warned.
Elphaba yawned. "I'm up, I'm up," she murmured. "I didn't sleep so well though."
Galinda shook her head. "When I came back you slept like a baby. Nothing could have woken you up. Not even a band of Munchkins playing in the middle of this room."
Elphaba laughed. It was easy to tell that Galinda was in a very good mood. She rarely smiled at such an early hour of the day. "What are you so smiley about?" she asked, slipping out of bed. The air in the room was chilly. She shivered.
Galinda let out a dreamy sigh. "Life is just beautiful, isn't it?"
Elphaba frowned. "You sound like a character in these silly novels you like so much."
"I'm in love! What's wrong about that?" Galinda asked defensively, a little offended.
"Nothing! I mean, being in love is a great thing, as long as the person you are in love with feels the same. Does he?" She didn't know what she wanted Galinda's answer to be. She didn't like her final answer, though.
"Why, of course he is! I've already told you, Elphie, Fiyero and I are going to be married!" Elphaba said nothing, but raised one eyebrow skeptically. There was the slightest change in Galinda's expression. Although she was still smiling, now her smile seemed somewhat forced. "Fine, if you don't believe…"
"Look, Galinda… I really have to get ready for school… we'll talk about it later, okay? I really don't want to be late to Morrible's class."
"Sure, okay, whatever. I'll see you there, then."
For a minute Elphaba was afraid she made Galinda upset. It wasn't just that change of expression; she became very quiet all of a sudden. Elphaba felt like she had to say something, to apologize, perhaps, but didn't know what to say.
Galinda picked up several books from her desk and tucked her wand under one arm. "I'll save you a seat, okay?" she asked quietly.
Elphaba smiled and nodded. "That would be great, thanks."
Galinda, already by the door on her way out, returned the smile. She was about to leave the room when she remembered something else. "Oh, and Elphie? Feel free to take whatever you want out of my closet today."
This calmed Elphaba right away. It was much more Galinda-like. She hesitated, but then carefully replied, "Thanks, Galinda, but I think I want to wear my own clothes today."
Galinda looked confused, but the look on Elphaba's face meant that she had made up her mind. Nothing was going to change it, and Galinda was already too late to their first class to argue about it. She smiled at her green roommate, then left the room.
Elphaba hesitated for a moment, but this was the right thing to do. She knew it was. She opened her closet and took out a plum colored frock. It looked so hopelessly dull; nothing like Galinda's clothes. She didn't braid her hair, though. She let it stream down her shoulders. She actually liked it better that way. After tying her boots she put several books and her training wand in her satchel and hurried away to Morrible's sorcery seminar.
