7- Afternoon Blues (or Greens)
"So, how was your practical exam with Morrible yesterday?" asked Nessarose one afternoon.
Elphaba laid back on Nessarose's bed, ignoring her sister's raised eyebrow for having her boots all over the clean bedspread. She sighed wearily. "Difficult, much more than I thought it would be. But I think I did well."
"I'm sure you did," smiled Nessarose. Elphaba took her legs off her sister's bed. It wasn't such a comfortable position, after all. "How did Galinda do?"
"She says she did horribly, but I don't know. We did them separately so I wasn't in the room with her. I don't think she was that bad, we've practiced a lot," said Elphaba, shaking her head. Glinda was always overreacting over exams. As a matter of fact, Galinda was overreacting over everything. "Besides, this is what she said the last three exams and she did fine with those. You know how Galinda is like."
Nessarose nodded and started brushing her hair with a silver hairbrush Elphaba had never seen before.
"What about you, Nessie? How are you doing with the exams?"
"Fairly well, I think. I can't wait for them to be over, though. Don't you?"
Elphaba hesitated. One the one hand, when the exams would be finished she'd stop being so stressed and tired, she wouldn't have to spend hours on the library instead of reading a book of her choice in the sun. Also, when the exams would be over, she would finally go to meet the Wizard; yet on the other hand, having the spring break over also meant that she wouldn't spend time with Fiyero again.
It's been wonderful four weeks. She knew their time together would be over soon. She tried not to think about it. They kept meeting in the library though most of the exams were already behind them. Fortunately, Fiyero did well in his exams. Elphaba was happy for him, and though she had never told him, she was so proud of him for his enormous progress in the past several weeks.
"Fabala?"
Elphaba opened her eyes, startled, at the sound of her name. "What?"
Nessarose gave her a concerned look. "Are you alright?"
"Yes, of course, I'm fine, why?"
"You never answered to my question," Nessarose reminded, somewhat puzzled by Elphaba's strange behavior.
"Oh… Sorry, Nessa. I have a lot of things on my mind," she said, with a contemplative expression which Nessarose couldn't interpret. Elphaba's attention was suddenly drawn to a huge wooden crate next to Nessarose's bed. "Hey Nessie, what's that?" she asked. She sat up in bed and leaned towards the crate.
"That? Oh, Father sent it for me… I mean, for us…" stammered Nessarose. Elphaba didn't respond; just opened up the crate. "There are some dresses in there… Mother's dresses. He thought that I might… we might… want them…" her voice trailed off.
Elphaba tried not to look so upset, but the truth was, that she was deeply upset and somewhat offended. Not only because her father didn't even reply to the letter she sent him a while ago, but also because she knew that no matter what Nessarose said, this crate was never meant for her.
"Oh, Fabala-" Nessarose started, breaking the awkward silence.
Elphaba sat back on her sister's bed. "Did he bother to mention if he got my letter?"
Nessarose seemed to hesitate, but then softly replied, "Yes, he did."
Elphaba understood that it was all she would get from her younger sister; and that was enough. Like she couldn't guess that even without sending the letter.
"I'm sure he's very excited, Elphaba, he is just-"
"What did he write, Nessa?" asked Elphaba, not even apologizing for cutting her sister off so abruptly. For once, Nessarose didn't even seem to care.
"That he wishes you'll make this visit to the Emerald City as short as possible."
It felt as if someone had just punched her in the stomach. "I see." She felt really silly. She knew his reaction would be like that, so why she was still disappointed?
She re-opened the crate and sorted through the neatly folded satin and silk gowns, which still carried a faint fragrance of her mother's fresh, floral scent. Elphaba knew she would cherish it forever. She picked one dress up and breathed in its sweet smell, pretending she was just messing with the fabric.
"You can take whatever you like. I'm sure Mother would have wanted that," Nessarose said gently.
Elphaba hesitated. She was about to say something sarcastic but decided against it. Not that time. Finally she chose the only three dark dresses her mother had; those probably used her for funerals and mourning services. One was midnight blue, the other two were black.
Nessarose frowned at her sister's choice. "Are you sure you don't want something more… colorful?" she asked carefully.
Elphaba chuckled and shook her head. "No, thanks. I have to go," she said, already on her way out. "Tell Father… well, actually, tell him nothing."
"Elphaba, wait!" called Nessarose, but her older sister was already too far away down the hall.
xoxoxoxox
She found a secluded bench among the trees and stopped there. Only then she took a laced handkerchief out of her pocket and gently wiped her eyes with it. She hoped no one would notice her there, then she realized that no-one noticed her anyway. It brought fresh tears to her eyes, in spite of herself.
In the name of Oz, she was acting like a baby, she scorned herself. She knew he'd say those things; it wasn't a big surprise or anything. Nessa, as always, was at the top of his priorities.
"Hey! Elphaba!"
She raised her head, startled, and shaded her eyes from the afternoon's sun. Fiyero waved at her and was on his way to join her on the bench. Oh Oz, she hoped her eyes were not all swollen and puffy. She hid the handkerchief in her pocket, and managed a faint smile in his direction. "Fiyero, what are you doing here?"
"I was just passing by and saw you here alone, so I thought-" he stopped abruptly, giving her a closer look. "Is everything alright?"
"Yes, I'm fi-" she started, then stopped. "No, I'm not fine," she answered honestly. It felt good. It felt great, actually.
"I was on my way for some coffee. Wanna join me? I can be an awfully good listener."
"I probably shouldn't," she replied quietly, softly.
He shook his head. "Probably, but I asked if you want to join me, not if you should. There's a big difference, you know," he said gently. She frowned. "Besides, you owe me one, remember?"
She did, unfortunately. And more than anything she wanted to go with him. But how could she?
He ignored her silence and kept talking. "I know this place, right outside the campus. Very few students usually go there, it's too far away, and everyone prefers the cafés inside the campus anyway. I like that place, though. They serve the best huckleberry pie in the Oz. Come on, come with me. You look like you couldn't use talking to someone. And I always feel better after eating one of Latty's pies. I bet you will, too," he finished and looked at her with a small smile, which she found charming. How could she possibly resist his smile? Did she even want to?
"I don't feel comfortable with that," she said eventually, avoiding eye contact.
"Why?"
"You know why," she said softly.
Here it was again, the unspoken issue of Galinda. He touched her arm slightly, gently, careful not to scare her off. Nonetheless she flinched, and he backed away. "Stop thinking. Stop rationalizing everything, life would be so much easier for you if you don't."
"It might work on other people, Fiyero, but I'm afraid it just doesn't work that way for me."
Fiyero hesitated, momentarily in loss of words. How could he argue with that? "Okay, so think that we are just two friends that go having coffee together in this beautiful afternoon. This is what we are, you know."
Elphaba shrugged, then got up from the bench and followed him to the café.
xoxoxoxox
"Well?" Fiyero asked once the waiter came back with their huckleberry pie.
Elphaba took a small slice of it and tasted it. Its flavor was rich, special, just the right amount of sweetness. Definitely the best huckleberry pie in Oz. She nodded her approval. "It is good, I admit."
Fiyero smiled. "No doubt about that, but does it have the effect?"
She gave him a look. "I feel better already, can't you see?" she said sarcastically, giving him a bitter smile.
Fiyero hesitated, then looked at her seriously. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Elphaba's reply didn't come immediately. Well, in fact, it didn't come at all. She stirred her coffee, then slowly sipped it. The heat that was spread all over her was comforting. It tasted real good too.
"What happened?"
She raised her head to look at him. He was amazed by her expression; it was heart-breaking. "I got a letter back from my father," she said quietly.
His face fell. "Oh." He knew the whole story by now. It was amongst other things they had discussed in the past weeks. "Not good news, I guess? By the look on your face?" he asked gently.
She shook her head. "So predictable. I don't even know why it bothers me," she admitted.
"Of course it's bothering you, he is your father, for Oz's sake, and he should be very proud of you!"
"That's sweet of you to say, but it's not comforting."
Fiyero looked at her. He was worried about her; he had never seen her like that before. She looked so unusually vulnerable and miserable that all he wanted to do was reaching across the table and holding her hand. He was tempted to move and sit beside her, to pull her into his arms and make all her pain disappear. Oh no, he couldn't go there. He wouldn't think about it. He kept his distance.
"Can we please talk of something else?"
Fiyero nodded. "Of course. What do you want to talk about?"
Elphaba shook her head, laughing softly. "I don't know." And then, after a moment, "How many exams do you have left?"
Fiyero chuckled. "Oh, right, that's a better issue to talk about," he teased. "Three exams to go, I'm counting them. I just got a grade on the one I did last week, the History of Magic."
"You passed it?"
He looked awfully proud of himself. He had that smug expression she once found so repulsive. "Why of course I did!"
"I'm glad," she whispered.
"How many exams do you still have?"
She sighed. "Two, thank Oz."
Fiyero smiled as another thing occurred to him. "Ready for the dance the next weekend?"
Elphaba shook her head, not returning his smile. "I'm not much in the mood for dancing right now, Fiyero."
"Why, I hope you don't intend to let me down! You promised!" he whined.
She smiled at his child-like behavior. "Fine, we'll see," she said finally. "I'm sorry, I'm not the best company this afternoon. I feel pretty blue."
"More green that blue, if you ask me." Elphaba smiled faintly at his joke. "That's okay. We all have our days," he added gently.
"You never seem to be blue." She remembered his first day at Shiz. Nothing matters but knowing nothing matters, it's just life- so keep dancing through…
He looked serious. "I'm hiding it pretty well, then."
Elphaba sighed. "I thought that I was hiding it well, too."
"It's not the wisest thing to do, not always. It's okay to share your pain with someone, you know."
"I know," she nodded. "Thanks for being here."
"You're welcome," he smiled. She returned the smile. "So what are you going to do about Nessarose's birthday? It is tomorrow if I'm not mistaken, right?"
Elphaba nodded, surprised that he remembered. She almost didn't. "You are not mistaken, it is tomorrow. I don't know, we'll probably be at the café. Didn't think about it, actually. I'm sure Galinda has it all planned out," she smiled.
Fiyero returned the smile as the forbidden issue surfaced once again. He knew this was his chance. He didn't mean to blow it off this time. It was finally time to deal with it, whether she liked it or not. "You like Galinda, don't you?" he asked carefully.
Elphaba nodded and sipped her coffee. "Surprisingly, I do," she replied. "Just like you, she is not so shallow as she pretends to be, once you get to know her. I hated her when I first met her, but now… I guess you even might say we are friends. I don't have many of these, so I wouldn't know."
"She is sweet," agreed Fiyero. Looking up, her realized she was looking suspiciously at him. "What?"
"Just 'sweet'?"
"What do you mean? What do you want me to say?"
"I just expected to hear more about her from you. She surely thinks highly of you," she said but regretted it immediately. Galinda would kill her.
It was too late, though. Fiyero's smile widened. "Oh, really? And what is it that she says, exactly?"
Elphaba laughed. "Things that I'm not supposed to tell you if I want to get to the Emerald City alive in two weeks."
"This is such a great opportunity for you."
She was surprised he let go of their previous issue so fast, yet she felt very relieved. Talking about Galinda with him made her feel uncomfortable. "I know. I hope I won't ruin it. It means so much to me."
"Why would you ruin it?"
"I don't know. That's what I do, ruin everything. Some kind of a curse on my head from the moment I was born," she said bitterly. "Or maybe even before that."
"Back to bitterness now, aren't we?" he asked softly.
"I told you I'm a bad company today."
"And I told you we all have our days," he retorted. "So don't worry about that."
"I really have to go back, though," she said. "But thank you. I had a good time. I guess I needed that."
She was about to put some notes on the table but Fiyero gently pulled her hand away. "Don't. This one's on me." He looked at her seriously. "Elphaba, if you need to talk to someone… anytime… I'm always here, okay? Don't hesitate," he said quietly. "You did so much for me already, I owe you my life."
"Oh, please, Fiyero, don't be silly, we are friends, that's what friends do, right?" She got up. "I'll see you tomorrow morning? We still have some stuff to go through for this final exam."
"Sure. Tomorrow morning."
"Well, see you then." She turned to leave when she heard him calling her name.
"Elphaba?"
"Yes?"
Their eyes locked. For a moment he thought he saw something there… but then he thought that maybe he didn't. Only his wild imagination.
