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DISTANT MEMORIES

By Lingren

Previously:

He'd already been revived a third time. Just how many times would it take before they figured out the answers? How much more could he take without suffering any permanent brain damage? She sucked in a huge weary sigh and tried to shut out the morbid thoughts. She had to concentrate on being positive. She was going to make damn sure he survived.

Chapter 10

Jack's senses alerted him enough for him to tell he was in hospital again. For a moment he panicked, setting the alarm on the monitor beside him into a high pitched squeal. Then someone was squeezing his hand and calling his name.

"Colonel. It's okay. It's me Sam. You're in the infirmary at the SGC. You're safe."

Jack calmed at the sound of her voice as he let her words sink in slowly.

Janet fussed around making sure he was okay, then dropped back a little to see if he would open his eyes or drift back to sleep again.

It had been three days since they had brought him home and during that time his fever had spiked but was now down, though it was still elevated a little. The chemicals in his blood were gradually dissipating, allowing his body to recover. He was still experiencing the odd fit now and then but they were nothing like before. Janet had opted to put him onto a Dialysis machine to filter his blood, and it had worked, but there was no way of knowing if he had suffered any brain damage until he woke up properly.

Jack blinked up at the purposely dimmed lights, and tried to recall where he was. The ceiling looked vaguely familiar, but apart from that he hadn't got a clue as to why he was there, or how he'd gotten there.

Sam smiled down at his face and stroked a hand up and down his arm, drawing his head round to see her.

Jack registered the smile and his mind remembered her.

He smiled back, but remained silent.

"It's good to see you sir," Sam said, smiling even more brightly at the recognition in his eyes. "Do you know where you are?"

Jack scanned the room, his eyes coming to rest on Janet standing quietly at the foot of the bed.

The petite woman in the white coat looked familiar, and he wracked his brains trying to recall her name.

She took a step closer.

"I don't think he can remember you yet Janet."

"Colonel..."

"Doctor," Jack muttered, his voice small and rasping.

Janet's face lit up with a smile and she offered him some ice chips. Had he recognised her or was it just what her white coat represented?

"That's right Colonel. Can you tell me where you are?"

He scrunched his face up, trying to remember but nothing made sense. It was familiar, but no names came to mind.

"Some sort of hospital."

Janet glanced over at Sam, her eyes telling her friend that maybe there was too much damage after all.

"You're in the infirmary sir. At the SGC."

"SGC?"

"Stargate Command," she confirmed, reluctant to enlighten him any further. She needed him to remember it.

He frowned, and winced in pain when he made to move to a more comfortable position.

"Are you in pain Colonel?"

"A little," he admitted.

If Colonel O'Neill admitted that he was in pain then he must really be hurting. But, as he wasn't himself yet, she wondered just how much he was suffering.

Janet disappeared and came back a few minutes later with a syringe loaded with a pain medication, but as soon as Jack saw it he pulled away, and cried out in distress.

"Nooo! No, no, no. Please! Don't!" he begged, gasping in agony as he jarred his wounds. "No more!" he cried.

Sam suddenly found herself with her arms full of one cringing Colonel, despite the agony he was in. Those people back on Ban Danara had a lot to answer for if they reduced the once capable and confident officer to a cringing wreck; a mere shadow of the man he used to be.

Janet backed away, putting the syringe back onto the tray and pushing it away behind the curtain, shocked at his reaction.

Jack looked up at Sam, his eyes wide with panic as he pleaded with her.

"Don't let them give me any more, please."

Sam hugged him securely, rubbing a soothing hand across his back as he clung to her.

"Hey, it's okay. It's just a pain killer Colonel. Janet wouldn't hurt you."

"It's alright Colonel," Janet assured him, smiling. "I won't give you anything if you don't want me to."

"Promise?"

"I promise sir. But you're safe here Colonel. No-one is going to hurt you."

Sam and Janet both eased him back onto the bed and gradually he relaxed against the pillows again.

"Are you hungry?" Janet asked.

Jack nodded.

Janet shot him a grin.

"I'll go see what I can rustle up from the commissary for you then. I'll be back in a while."

As Janet left the room, Daniel wandered in. His eyes lighting up when he saw Jack was awake.

"Jack! You're awake!"

"Ya think?" Came the automatic, but guarded reply.

Daniel grinned, but Sam's face had grimaced and Daniel had spotted the flash of pain that flittered across her features.

"Sam?"

"The Colonel is awake Daniel, but he doesn't really know where he is, or anyone else."

Daniel sighed. He had thought that Jack was okay when he'd answered with one of his usual pet sayings.

"Daniel. I need to...you know. I'll be back in a few minutes. Could you stay for a while?"

"Ah...sure Sam."

Sam placed a hand on Jack's arm, squeezing it slightly to grab his attention.

"I'll be back in a minute or two Colonel. Okay?"

Reluctantly he nodded but kept his eyes glued to her even as she left the room. She had to escape for a few moments. Watching Jack like this was tearing her apart. She headed for her quarters where she indulged herself with a hearty bout of crying.

OoOoOoOoO

General Hammond sat at the head of the highly polished briefing room table, SG-1 with the obvious exception of Jack was there as well as Dr. Frasier; their open files in front of them.

"...So what exactly are you saying Doctor?" Hammond asked worriedly.

So far the news about his 2IC hadn't been encouraging.

"Well sir, Colonel O'Neill is making some progress, he now recalls a few details but I think it's going to be a long haul General. He remembers Major Carter, Dr. Jackson and now myself, but he's still has a long way to go. He has odd flashes of memory but they are few and far between. The fits have now stopped and the foreign chemical has been cleared from his system."

"Dr. McKenzie is insisting he needs to be in a hospital where they can monitor the situation and he has constant care," Hammond stated sadly, looking at his notes.

"No! General, we can't do that. Not to Jack," Daniel cried, recalling all too well his own experience of a white padded room under the psychiatrist's care. He couldn't do that to Jack...no way. "All that would do, would make him shut everything out. He'd think we'd abandoned him. I won't let you do that sir. I can't!"

"I agree sir," Janet was one-hundred percent behind Daniel on this. "The Colonel wouldn't respond well to that type of treatment at all. It would only exacerbate his feelings of loss and may cause a permanent regression."

"Major Carter?" Hammond said.

"I don't think it would be any help at all sir. I believe the Colonel needs to be surrounded by the people and places with whom he is familiar. That way his memory would be jogged constantly. I believe shutting him away isn't the answer here General."

"O'Neill needs his 'family', General Hammond, namely SG-1, around him. I may yet be able to help him further if I could get him to meditate alongside me," Teal'c added.

"Will he do that?" Hammond asked in disbelief, knowing that Jack had tried before but couldn't sit still or quiet long enough for any benefit to be gained from the exercise.

"He has yet to recall that he doesn't enjoy it. Perhaps now is as good a time as any to get him to try it again," Teal'c almost smiled.

Hammond smirked and Sam, Janet and Daniel exchanged a wry grin.

"It could be just what he needs sir!" Janet encouraged.

"Alright people. Let's give this a try, but if it isn't working then I have no choice but to place Colonel O'Neill's care in Dr. McKenzie's hands. Dismissed."

General Hammond wasn't happy, it had been two weeks now since they had brought Jack home. His wounds had mended and the chemical imbalance in his bloodstream had been corrected. There were no more fits and although he was cheerful enough, the memories of who he was and what exactly he did around the base was still missing. He interacted easily enough, but it was to Sam he had the closest contact with. If he felt vulnerable he sought her out first, or if he couldn't find her, he looked to Daniel. He was indecisive, and appeared insecure.

The Jack O'Neill stalking the halls of the SGC just wasn't the same any more. He listened attentively, and sat still while people explained things to him. Although this was good from Hammond's point of view, it wasn't what they really wanted. They needed Jack to be the way he was before. Sarcastic, impossible, impatient, belligerent, and downright annoying at times. In other words just for him to be...himself.

TBC