Disclaimer: I do not own Dead Like Me, nor any of the characters, except for the poor, unfortunate souls I have created solely for the purpose of dying! (Yeah, I'm cruel, I know!) Anyway, the show and characters belong to the creators of the show! Hope you enjoy my fic, it's the first one for Dead Like Me, so I hope I do the show justice!
Author's Note: This is told from George's POV and I haven't seen season two yet, so this will take place after season one. Hope that clears up any confusion! And please R&R!
Chapter One
I woke up with a sudden sense of already knowing that my day was going to fucking suck. Now, I may have just been waking up on the "wrong side of the bed," as they call it, whoever "they" are, but knowing how my daily routine always seemed to go, it was a pretty good bet that things were already headed into a downward spiral of deep shit, festering… deep… shit.
Opening my eyes, I gave the alarm clock a look that I hoped would incinerate it, but it seemed my powers of death were not as mighty as I would have hoped. It was 7:55 A.M. Time to go to Der Waffle House, meet with Rube, and begin my day… Again, I reiterate… This fucking sucks.
Sighing I rolled over in bed to face the opposite wall, only to see the most horrifying sight imaginable this early in the morning…
"Good morning, Georgia!" chimed Daisy Adair, a woman who was far more properly groomed and accessorized than Barbie; the bitch.
I groaned and pulled the blankets up over my head to shut out the light, to shut out everything… Okay, make that just to shut out Daisy.
"Not now…" I mumbled under my shield. "It's too fucking early. Tell Rube I'm sick today."
"Oh, hush now, Georgia!" Daisy said in her overly perky way that would be nothing less than a great feat for me. "The day has come. Now I want you out of that bed, Missy and into that bathroom for a fresh start!"
She didn't see it, but I rolled my eyes. Of all the people to be roommates with! What had I ever done to Rube to deserve this? Okay, so maybe the few times I had tried to get out of taking peoples' souls, but was that anything terrible enough to get stuck with an afterlife of this?
Light suddenly hit the sheet and I squinted my eyes, as a reaction. Daisy had pulled open my curtains.
"What's the point?" I muttered, throwing the blanket off myself and staring at this fembot.
"Point? Why, Georgia! Don't be silly! No one ever got ahead in life by looking the way you do."
"The way I do?" I repeated, my eyebrows lifting upwards, which I had neglected to pluck as of late.
"Why yes. There are two ways of making it in this world. One is looking your best and the other is giving a good blowjob. Now you can't be without either in this life!"
"Daisy… just out of curiosity… is there anyone you haven't blown, or jerked off?" I presented to her my best smile for presentation.
Daisy started to appear a bit annoyed with my carefully aimed insult, but she smiled nevertheless. She was a great actress, after all.
"Get out of that bed!" she commanded of me, throwing a hand in the air, reminding me much of my mother… Great. That was all I needed. Daisy as a mother! And I had thought my original one had been bad!
"Why is it so God awful important that I get up today? What, is the world in for an apocalypse, or something?" I yelled.
"No, but you will be forever grateful to me after I show you what it is I, out of the goodness of my heart, have done for you."
Daisy beamed proudly, and eagerly bounced once on her heels with her fingertips placed together in front of her chest.
"You're moving out?" I asked with hope, as I sat up.
"No, don't be silly!" she said, flipping her hand at me. "Now get out and follow me to the restroom."
After that, Daisy practicallyflew out of the room and I groaned once more.
"The restroom? Alright!" I exclaimed. "I'll get up…"
After all, I was actually a little curious.
I walked down the hall and found my destination.
"Oh, there you are!" cried Daisy, turning around in the doorway before I could enter. "Now! Close your eyes!"
"Daisy-"
"Close… your eyes! There's never any fun without a surprise," she said to me as though she were attempting to give me a lecture. Yep, she was becoming my mother.
I closed my eyes. What could it hurt?
Daisy grabbed my shoulders and led me into the room. She stopped me suddenly and pushed me down onto what I can only guess was the toilet… Great… Just what I wanted in the morning: Fond memories of flying toilet seats coming right at my head. Not that I'm bitter about it, but how many people get the nickname: "Toilet Seat Girl?"
"Daisy, what are you doing?" I asked, trying to take a peek by opening one eye, but she quickly covered it with her hand.
"No! Not yet!" she said, as I heard clinking upon the counter to my left. Why did I have a sinking feeling I was not going to like this?
Several seconds passed.
"Okay… You may open your eyes now!" she said, just as I was starting to really not want to look…But, I opened them anyway and saw my bathroom counter covered with cosmetics.
"Ohhhh no!" I cried, shaking my head and jumping up, but Daisy grabbed me and pushed me back down.
"Georgia… do you know what this is?"
"Torture?" I asked with a politely confused smile. Daisy shook her head sadly at me.
"Georgia, Georgia, Georgia…" she said, now shaking her head. "This… is an intervention."
"An intervention?" I echoed in bewilderment.
"Yes."
"But, don't you usually need more people for an… intervention?" I posed.
"Don't be smart, Georgia!" she reprimanded me. "I have stayed awake many a night thinking about your poor, unfortunate skin's condition, and how you neglect your face by wearing absolutely no makeup, and let's not get started on your dress sense."
"What's wrong with the way I dress?" I asked, looking down at my pajamas: Blue sweats and a white, spaghetti strap tee with a frog on it. I looked back up at her, feeling insulted.
"Oh, it is sad…" she said, shaking her head again. I was amazed at how her blonde hair remained in perfect formation. "Georgia, I am giving you what you could call, a makeover. Now, I won't take "no" for an answer. I went out special and got you some dresses-"
"Wait! Dresses? I don't… wear dresses," I protested.
Daisy laughed, oblivious to my feelings, as usual. Rube was right… I was a pin. A fucking pin. I decided I was not going to take to this lightly. Daisy was in for it.
"When you say "got" do you mean "bought," or "stole?"
"Georgia, they're dead, they're not going to use them anymore."
She had a point, but still… it seemed… wrong, in a way and I wasn't giving up that easily.
"Now sit still and we'll get you fixed up!" she chided, merrily, as she plucked up what I guessed to be foundation. I wasn't that much in the dark.
"I have to go," I tried, but obviously there was no saying such a word to Daisy.
"Oh no you don't! Not until I am finished. I know for a fact that you have weekends off and you are not going anywhere until I have you glowing with radiance!"
"Doesn't "glowing" and "radiance" mean the same thing?" I questioned, defiantly.
"Shut up!" snapped Daisy, closing her eyes and taking a moment to collect herself. I smiled, proud of my abilities.
"You'll be thanking me when you have the boys lining up," she said at last, opening the bottle.
"Maybe I don't want boys lining up. Rube says-"
"Oh, Rube says! Who cares? Do you want to be a virgin all your life?"
"Daisy… I'm dead."
"Undead," she corrected.
"And who said I was a virgin? I've done… stuff…" I said, trying to act confident. Daisy laughed again.
"Oh, Georgia! You're so funny! Okay… tell me… what have you done?" she asked, looking interested.
"I don't think I want to have this conversation," I stated, quickly, looking slightly worried. I needed to get out of there, NOW!
"Alright, fine. I'll go first. Let's see… Oh there's so many to start with!"
I rolled my eyes. Yep, I was right. This was going to be a shitty day. Hearing about Daisy's sexual exploits was not my idea of a good day. I imagined that I would rather stick a pen in my eye and in fact I could, but even then I still wouldn't die to escape this.
"Jimmy Stewart!" she suddenly cried with the biggest smile. "Now he was a gentleman. He let me blow him under the table while he was on set. If you look at this one scene in the film, you can see my shoe sticking out from beneath. I got my big break that day," she sighed, in remembrance. I meanwhile, was feeling nauseous.
"Yeah, great," I said.
"I bet if we'd had Ebay back then that shoe would have sold for hundreds of dollars!" she went on, absently, as she started to dab the foundation on my cheeks.
It was official… Daisy had flipped her lid, of course I wasn't surprised she was thinking once again about money. Daisy's mind revolved around it. I recalled the time she had talked Mason and I into that scam… which hadn't gone very well.
"Is this going to take very long?" I asked, impatiently. "Because I can always come back later. I mean, I have a full day of reaping ahead of me," I said, rather pathetically if you ask me. Shit, was that the best I could come up with?
"Oh, this is at least going to take an hour. We've got a lot of work ahead of us, Georgia and I'm no miracle worker."
"Why do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Insult me," I said, bluntly. I wasn't afraid of her. She was the one who had moved herself into my apartment, even though we now lived at Mason's old place, but that wasn't the point!
Daisy just laughed. "Georgia, if I wanted to insult you I wouldn't have gotten for you all these nice things. Now sit still, perk up, and prepare to be gorgeous!"
The last thing I remember before I tuned her out completely was Daisy's humming of "Material Girl" by Madonna. This day was going to be Hell.
