Disclaimer: Fruits Basket, the Souma Clan and Honda Tohru all belong to Natsuki Takaya-sama. I live only to glorify Furuba.
Ore no Haru
Ikalimang Kabanata
By hitokiri-tomoe
It was almost dinnertime and Souma Yuki was walking home. He had just been to a meeting with the whole student council and his nerves were shot.
He had meant to tell Makoto that afternoon that he was no longer volunteering. After all, the number of volunteers has increased, so he felt that his quitting won't make any difference. When he told the President his intentions, he never expected that the older guy would bawl in front of him, causing the other members to rush in and see what was happening. Makoto begged him on hands and knees—literally—to stay. He told him that if he quit, the rest of the volunteers—male and female alike—would quit, too. He didn't know what to make of that. Nevertheless, he didn't want to take responsibility for other people's quitting, even if he didn't believe he would be the reason, and with the President wrapping his arms around his leg and soaking the leg of his pants with tears, he knew he couldn't quit. Yet.
But the moment he stepped into the meeting, he wished he just ran away the moment Makoto's lips began to quiver. He almost had a heart attack trying to avoid contact with the female volunteers. And there were so many. He hid himself among the boys, but that didn't stop the females' predatory eyes to fix on him all through the meeting. It didn't help that the boys kept commenting on how pretty he was. He almost smacked someone. He was perfectly alright when he went out of the room, though, but he knew that if every meeting went on the way this one did, he was done for. Fortunately, the student council members rescued him by announcing that there would be a screening for new volunteers.
He heaved a sigh of relief as he finally came within sight of his older cousin's house.
Finally. Peace and quiet.
"I'll kill you!" the cat's voice suddenly exploded from the house, followed by Shigure's loud snickering.
Well, not quite.
He opened the front door and stepped inside the brightly lit house.
"I'm ba—huh?" he stopped when he saw the people in the room.
Kyou was standing, his crimson eyes flaring, looking ready to attack a sniggering Shigure. A very composed Hatori was sitting at the common room table, smoking.
"I thought you've stopped running away," he addressed the doctor.
"Welcome back, Yuki-kun!" Shigure greeted him cheerfully.
Kyou just sat back down with a huff.
"Yuki-kun," an apron-clad Tohru stepped out from the kitchen, "You're back!"
"Honda-san," he answered in acknowledgement.
"And just in time for dinner, too," a vaguely familiar voice said from behind Tohru.
The owner of the voice stepped out with a dish in her hands. Amber eyes smiled at him.
"Nice to meet you, Yuki-kun," she said with a smile.
He looked at a face he'd seen a thousand times before, smiling in a photograph.
"Kana-san," he bowed.
"I'm sorry I wasn't able to introduce myself last time," she said cheerfully.
"Ha-san and Kana-san went to visit and now Kana-san's cooking dinner for all of us," Shigure gushed, "They're so wonderful!"
"I'm doing it with Tohru-kun's help, though!" she said in a shy tone as she set down the dish she was carrying and started setting the table.
"I didn't do anything, really!" Tohru protested quickly.
"Ne, Kana-san is learning how to cook to be a good wife," Shigure said with utmost feeling, giving his childhood friend a pointed look.
Hatori crushed his cigarette, "Well, she is going to get married."
The remark was greeted with silence from everyone in the room, including Kana.
"Ano!" Tohru broke the silence bravely, "let's eat!"
oOo
Yuki tried hard to concentrate on his dinner, but he couldn't help looking at the couple sitting across from him.
When did this happen?
When had Hatori learned to look so gently at anyone? When did he allow himself to smile so easily like that? When did he learn to drop his icy exterior?
He glanced around the table and noticed that Shigure was also observing the couple, a pleased expression on his face.
But they were oblivious to everybody's glances. Their eyes were only for each other.
You had to be blind or be Kyou not to notice it.
He shook his head, clearing it.
Of course, he knew that Hatori never stopped loving Kana. That photograph in his clinic is only a small proof of that.
But…
He glanced around and met Shigure's eyes. The same question was in his deep brown eyes.
When did Kana start loving him, too?
oOo
"Make sure to come back again!" Tohru called as Kana waved goodbye to the people in Shigure's house.
She got in the car with Hatori.
"Ah! That was fun!" she exclaimed as the doctor started the engine and started for home.
They passed the first few minutes in silence, but Kana kept stealing glances at him.
"Ne… Hatori-sensei" she finally said.
"Mmm?" he murmured, his eyes on the road.
"How did… how did you injure your left eye?" she said timidly, immediately bowing her head after asking the question. She feared she might have stepped over the line again.
A few seconds passed and Kana didn't even dare look up.
"I had an accident."
Kana still had her head bowed. He sighed and decided to be honest.
"I was in love with… with someone. We got into an accident. It was nobody's fault. Still… she left me after that. She's forgotten about me now."
He stole a quick glance at the woman bowed in the passenger seat. She still wasn't saying anything. Then he heard a sob escape his companion.
"Kana?" he pulled the minivan over and put his hands on his companion's shoulders. Neither of them noticed the drop in honorific.
Kana looked up with tears in her eyes.
"I'm alright," she said through her tears, wiping at her face with her hands.
"What's wrong?" he asked in a voice full of concern, almost giving in to the temptation of taking her in his arms.
"I… I don't know," she sniffled, "I… I was just so surprised that you actually answered my question, but then… your answer made me sad as well."
She took a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped her eyes. Then she smiled at him.
"I'm alright. Really. You can drive now."
He gave her one last look before starting the car. They cruised through the road again.
"Hatori-sensei," she said after a few minutes, her tears all dried up.
"Yes?"
"I was surprised to discover that you were once in love."
He didn't say anything, and concentrated on the road.
"That woman… shouldn't have left someone as kind as Hatori-sensei," she said in a half-whisper.
Hatori almost hit the brakes but stopped himself just in time.
"Even if… that woman… may have been the cause of Hatori-sensei's losing his sight in one eye," she continued still in that half-whisper, her eyes gazing at the road ahead.
"Still… Hatori doesn't deserve to be abandoned."
He realized his hands were trembling as he clutched the steering wheel tightly.
"Hatori-sensei… doesn't deserve to be forgotten."
oOo
It was a busy day at the clinic. All of the children seemed to have taken it as their own personal mission to scrape their knees, wound themselves or just fall off something.
Fortunately, there were no serious cases, and although there was a lot of work, it was light.
Riiiiiing.
"I'll get it!" Kana called as she placed a new package of cotton on the counter.
Riiiiiiiiiiiing.
"Hello?"
"Kana!"
Kana frowned, "Mom?"
"I called at Hatori-san's, but the one who answered told me you were here."
"Mom, how are you?"
"It's you I'm worried about! It's three weeks before your wedding, and you haven't even decided on anything yet! I don't know what to say to Minekuwara-san! Shinbo's busy so it's understandable, but I expected a lot more from you!"
"But," she protested in a small voice, "I've been working, too…"
"Your work's light, compared to Shinbo's. You aren't a doctor."
She sighed, "Yes, Mom."
"What do you mean, 'yes, Mom'?"
"I'm going to call Shinbo," a lump formed in her throat, "and discuss our wedding plans with him."
"That's good! You better do it now. I'm sure Hatori-san wouldn't mind you taking the day off."
"Yes mom," she said quietly, and replaced the receiver.
She leaned back on the counter and looked at Hatori, who was still busy dressing the wounds of a small child who was taking all of it bravely.
"Idiot," she muttered under her breath.
You really did forget about your wedding, didn't you?
She covered her face with her hands, trying to breathe deeply, but the lump in her throat was choking her.
Honda-san told me to go where I would be happy. But where is that?
She looked up and saw the doctor, and remembered what she told him last night.
Hatori-sensei… doesn't deserve to be abandoned.
Her decision made for her, she picked up the phone and started dialing.
Shinbo… doesn't deserve to be abandoned, either.
A man's voice answered the phone on the other line.
"Shinbo? Can you meet up with me now?"
oOo
"So I was thinking that it would be better if the band performers were situated at the right. The invitations are going to be wrapped—what?"
She stopped talking when she saw that her fiancé was staring at her. He had a contented smile on his face.
They were in the same café as before, at the same table with three bridal magazines spread out before them. He had ordered café au lait for both of them but Kana didn't event touch hers. She had asked for lemon juice instead and was now taking a sip, as she waited for Shinbo to answer.
"Honestly," he finally said, a serious expression on his face, "I was having doubts."
Her gaze didn't even shift.
"I thought you'd call the whole thing off…"
She barely heard him, though what he said did manage to register into a small part of her brain.
I wonder if Hatori-sensei has gone home by now. Or maybe there were a lot more kids needing help today. There might even have been something serious that's happened.
"Kana?"
She suddenly remembered that she had somebody else with her. She shook her head to clear it.
"I'm sorry. Where was I?"
"Invitations," he answered promptly.
But he had waved her so casually away when she told him she was going out with Shinbo. But Hatori might need her—
"Kana," a gentle voice broke into her thoughts, "Look, if you're tired we can talk about this later. You shouldn't be pushing yourself like this."
She found herself gripping the edge of the table and standing up without thinking.
"You're right," the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.
"Huh?" Shinbo stood up as well, concern etched on his face.
"No, I'm sorry," she looked up at him then, her eyes pleading, "You're right. There will be no wedding."
Her words seemed to suck out Shinbo's strength. He sank on the chair, his face uncomprehending.
"Forgive me," she said as she frantically reached for her bag, "Please."
She ran out of the café.
oOo
She went home in a dazed walk.
Somehow she had lost track of what was truly happening, so that now she felt like she'd been hit by a train.
She didn't know why she doubted everything now.
She didn't know why she broke up her engagement.
She didn't know why she was going home in a dazed walk.
The only thing she could think of clearly was that when she gets home, Hatori would be waiting, and somehow, everything would be alright.
She didn't know why she thought that, either.
She came in sight of the house and saw a lone figure sitting on the porch steps, apparently waiting.
He looked up when he heard her approach the steps.
His smile didn't quite reach his eyes, "Kana-san, I was waiting for you."
"Akito… san?"
He stood up and dusted himself off before motioning to the house, "There's no one there. Hatori must still be at the clinic."
She started towards the direction of the clinic.
"Kana-san," he called quietly.
She turned back to him, suddenly realizing she was being rude. She immediately bowed to him, hoping to make amends.
"I came here to invite you… to talk to me," he said, moving a step closer to her, "Would you… do me the honor?"
She nodded at that, feeling she had no choice.
"There's someone there who might want to see you as well," he whispered as he turned towards the main house.
oOo
He walked up to the man sitting on the bench.
He had his back turned to him, but he knew he was the one. This is the meeting place. And this is him.
"Minekuwara Shinbo," he called to the man.
The man had a can of beer in one hand. He turned to him.
"Hatori-san. I'm glad you could make it on such short notice."
He motioned the newcomer to sit, and Hatori did so.
They sat in silence, Shinbo looking pensive as he nursed the beer to his head, Hatori wondering where Kana is and what this is all about.
He had just finished for the day when the call came. Minekuwara Shinbo had wanted to meet up with him. Although a lot of questions formed in his mind, he had agreed.
He's probably just going to invite me to his wedding since Kana hadn't said a word about it.
"You don't look impressive at all," Kana's fiancé suddenly spat, throwing the now empty beer can on the street.
Hatori slowly turned to him, allowing a look of confusion to slowly creep into his face.
"Excuse me?"
Shinbo looked at him for a minute then laughed. It wasn't a pretty laugh. It was the laugh of someone who was in great pain and was trying to hide it but was failing miserably.
"Look, I don't know what happened between you and Kana—"
"I don't understand—"
"No, let me speak first. If you interrupt me, I might not be able to say what I need to say. I might just sock you in the face instead."
Hatori was silent for a moment. Then he nodded.
"You see… I wasn't sure if Kana loved me. Well, I know there was a time when she was in love with me, but it wasn't the same. I didn't know if the passion would last, but now I know the answer…
"When I met her, she struck me as a cheerful person, but with a sadness inside. Through our courtship, there was that unfathomable sadness inside of her, and I couldn't reach it. I'm not even sure if she was aware of it, herself. But it was always there, like a partial mist, so that I never really felt that I completely knew her.
"But I loved her anyway. I love her. When I asked her to marry me and she agreed, I was very surprised. And pleased. Although I still wasn't sure if she loved me. Turns out I really had reason to doubt."
He paused for a long while, as though not sure how to say what he was going to say next.
"I don't know what happened while she was living with you. But when I saw her again, she had changed. There was no underlying sadness about her. But it was replaced by something else. Something I can't even put a name to. Well, the feeling wasn't entirely good, wasn't entirely bad either.
"I told you I don't know what happened, but… whatever changed her, you seem to have had something to do with it. She seemed to have come to terms with her emotions. Towards me, at least. Now we both know that she doesn't love me."
He stood up then and faced Hatori, his face serious.
"So, I'm giving her up. And I'm entrusting her to you. I think…" he smiled bitterly, "you're the only person who can be of help to her now. God knows it isn't me."
He extended a hand to Hatori.
Hatori stood up and took it.
They shook hands, almost-identical solemn looks on their faces.
"When you see her after this," Shinbo said, "don't mention anything about this meeting."
Hatori looked at him. He didn't smile, and there was understanding in his face,
"Now," Shinbo continued, suddenly looking very tired, "I think… I think I'm gonna go get drunk."
He walked away, leaving a pensive Hatori to reflect on all the things he said.
oOo
"Please, Kana-san, don't let your tea get cold," Akito slowly said in a quiet voice.
Kana had only been staring at her tea, trying to figure out why she was feeling such dread in her heart.
She looked up then, and offered the Master of the House a weak smile. She stretched out her hand for the tea—and realized they were trembling. But it was too late. Akito had noticed. A smile, faint and haughty, formed on his lips.
"You're trembling," he said in a concerned voice not belonging to his expression at all, "What's the matter?"
She tried to speak, but no words came out of her mouth. She bowed her head.
Why am I so afraid?
"Tsk, tsk, tsk," he clucked his tongue slowly, deliberately.
"Is Kana… getting the jitters?" he asked in a voice laced with ice.
She caught her breath. Her hands fell, palms open, on the floor.
That tone. I've heard it before.
But it was impossible. Akito had never used that tone with her. Until now.
He placed one cold finger on Kana's chin, and forced her to look at him. His eyes were menacing, a condescending smile was on his lips.
"Are you… scared?" he whispered.
Kana drew back so violently that she landed on the floor. She hastily went back to kneeling position.
Akito stood up, a low hard laugh escaping his lips.
"But why would Kana be afraid?" he asked innocently, as if only asking about the weather.
She closed her eyes. Images floated before her.
Hatori… kneeling in this same room…
"Does Kana…"
Glass breaking…
"Remember something?"
Blood…
She opened her eyes. The onslaught of images didn't stop. They were there right before her eyes, in full color. Now she could hear sounds as well.
"We're planning to get married."
"IT'S YOUR FAULT!"
She covered her ears.
"Stop!" she screamed, hoping to block out the sounds and the images, but they just floated relentlessly in front of her, disturbing images of things she thought she didn't know, but deep down inside she knew were memories. She was breathing rapidly now, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"So I was right," she heard Akito say contemptuously.
But the images weren't stopping, the conversations weren't stopping.
"Little Kana remembers everything," there was hatred in his voice.
Their breakfasts together…
"She remembers… Or maybe she knew all along?"
Blood… Hatori's blood, as he knelt there, a hand clamped over his eye.
"Hatori was incompetent."
"Tell me… what does snow become when it melts?"
"Hatori… disobeyed me."
"It becomes water, of course."
"Hatori has been a very bad boy."
"Bzzzzt. It becomes spring!"
"He believed he could still be happy if you remember."
Akito's hand, violently sweeping the vase off the table.
"But he can't..."
The kiss…
"He can't be happy."
"For your information, if you dump a real seahorse in bathtub water, it will probably die."
"You know why?"
Hatori's face as they knelt in that dark room. She heard herself crying.
"Because of you."
The blood spilling out of Hatori's left eye…
"You're the one who's making him unhappy."
"I'm sorry… I couldn't protect us…"
"This is all your fault."
"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"
She reeled as she felt Akito's hand connect with her cheek in a hard slap.
She fell on her back, still sobbing, still being haunted by the memories that Hatori made her forget.
Then with sudden gentleness, he took her hand and helped her up to a kneeling position. He sat in front of her, his fingers gently tracing her flaming cheek. She was too numb in body to flinch at the contact. She knelt there, staring at him though tear-drenched eyes, her mouth slightly open. Now and then sobs escaped her lips but she didn't notice.
"There, there," he whispered gently, all menace gone from him for the moment.
Then he got up and paced the room, now and then glancing at the woman who was kneeling on the floor, her small frame trembling.
A minute passed.
And then the recollections stopped.
Kana stopped sobbing, and looked up only to find herself looking at Akito's baleful, violent eyes.
He took a look at her eyes then suddenly sat on the floor with a thud. He seemed irritated about something.
"You love him," he spat, venom dripping with every word.
Her heart stopped at the statement.
"I've seen that look in your eyes before," he said spitefully, "you still want to be with Hatori!"
His eyes narrowed. He stood up and bent over her.
"You don't deserve to love him," he pronounced coldly, laying emphasis on each word, "You hurt him! You're the reason he's blind!"
Kana visibly drew back, her face contorted in despair and helplessness.
"It's your fault he's sad, to begin with! It's your fault!" he screamed.
"No… Please…" she whispered feebly, the tears starting anew.
"No! What? You don't want to hear the truth?" he screamed at her, grabbing hold of her shoulders and shaking her.
"Akito!" a man suddenly stepped out of the shadows, his hands shaking at his sides.
Akito let go of Kana and allowed himself a smile. The woman sank to the floor, sobbing.
"Shigure. I was wondering when you'd come to try and save this pathetic girl."
"Kana," Shigure said in a commanding tone, "Go home. Get away from here."
Kana, as though just waiting for that exact command, stood up slowly.
"Goddamn it!" Shigure almost shouted, "Run!"
Kana only looked at him and started for the door. Only when she was out of the threshold did she obey Shigure's latest command.
Akito laughed as he observed the whole thing.
Shigure turned to him then, his hands still shaking, an angry glint in his eyes. He did not speak.
"So you see now, Shigure?" he said with a disapproving smile, "I was right. Hatori did disobey me. He didn't make that woman forget enough."
Shigure was still silent, but his jaw had hardened.
"I told him to erase Kana's memories, but he defied me. Me! I wanted only what was good for him. I wanted to make him happy, but he…"
He trailed off as he stepped closer to Shigure and put a hand on his shoulder.
"He thought if he acted for himself, he could be happy," he drawled in a slow whisper, "But he of all people should know…"
He stroke Shigure's hair.
"That his happiness… all of your happiness…"
He brought his face closer to Shigure's.
"Solely depend on me."
He kissed Shigure gently on the lips.
Suddenly, Shigure pushed Akito away, sending him sprawling on the floor.
He rushed out of the room.
oOo
Hatori stopped when he saw that Shigure was standing in his way to the front door of his house.
"What—"
But before he could finish his sentence, he felt blinding pain on the side of his face. He fell to the ground with a painful thud.
"I thought Ayame was the dumb one," his childhood friend's voice had taken on an uncharacteristic gravity.
He put his hands on his left cheek. Already he could feel it getting swollen. He had punched him under the left eye, where most of the damage would be hidden by his bangs. He groaned.
"Damn it, Hatori, stand up!" came Shigure's angry voice, "Have you never been punched before?"
Hatori stood up and faced his cousin. There was nothing comical about the way he looked now.
"I never thought you could do this. I never thought you'd do something so low. You never even told us you did it. Why did you keep such a secret from us?" his voice had grown louder as he spoke.
"What are you talking about?" he finally managed to ask through the frenzy of pain his cheek sent through his brain.
"The hypnosis," he answered, suddenly exasperated, "Don't lie to me now! I know the truth."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Damn it, I told you not to lie to me. Or maybe you really were just too distracted to do a proper job of it."
"Of what?"
"The hypnosis! The one you didn't do to Kana!"
His eyes widened at that, but he didn't say anything.
"What?"
He adjusted his glasses. "I did do the hypnosis to Kana. If I didn't do it, would I be torturing myself this way when I can just go to her anytime? If I didn't do it, do you think Kana would have been happy? She was in pain. I had to make her forget. I did my job."
Shigure searched his eyes.
"You aren't… lying to me?"
"Why would I lie to you? Have I ever lied to you?" Hatori responded in an irritated voice, massaging his cheek.
"Good point."
They stood in silence for awhile, Shigure debating with himself about how to break the news. He finally decided he had to be direct about it.
"Okay. I believe you. But… Kana remembers, you know. She remembered this afternoon."
That seemed to be another blow to Hatori. He suddenly knelt down.
"Oh, damn," Shigure muttered to himself before shouting, "Hey, get up, she needs you. She's crying. Akito abused her verbally. Ha-san?"
Hatori looked up at that. For the moment, he couldn't trust himself to stand.
"She had that look," the Dog said quietly, "That look from back then… blaming herself. Before you erased her memories and she was crying all the time… it was the same look."
Hatori suddenly stood up. He needed to save her. He wasn't able to save here then, and he wasn't going to waste his chance now.
"She's inside. Now go," Shigure suddenly smiled at him, "I still want your happy ending."
oOo
He entered the house and immediately saw her.
She was lugging the last of her luggage down the stairs. She had not changed her clothes, they were all wrinkled and her eyes were still red and puffy from crying.
Kazuya wasn't around. They were the only ones in the house.
Hatori watched silently as she put the bags with the rest of the luggage. She had apparently not noticed his entrance.
She straightened up her clothes, took a comb from her bag and began combing her honey-blond Akito-tangled hair.
He couldn't take it any longer. He took a step towards her.
"What are you doing?" he asked slowly.
The comb dropped to the ground.
"Hatori?"
Before he could react, Kana was on him, and she had already put her arms around him in a possessive hug.
Poof!
To be concluded…
