Disclaimer : As much as I want them to, they're not mine. They belong to
J.K. Rowling. The chapter titles belong to Westlife. The plot and the
character 'Daniel Irving' belong to me.
Pairing : James x Sirius, slight Harry x Draco and Snape x
Lupin
Lily x Daniel (my character) and others.
Summary : James and Lily had finally been brought back to
life. But how about Sirius? Could he forgive James after what
he'd done to him? What did he want to forget the most? What
happened when it's James that he forgot?
Forgotten Time
By Misaki Sakura
Ch. One : Loneliness Knows Me by Name
He could hear Harry calling him, shouting his name as he drifted off into the darkness. Darkness ... he was used to that. He had spent twelve years in Azkaban, perfect place to live, huh? But he had known the darkness far before that. Why were they crying? All of them, his friends, ... they're all crying. For what?
His hands felt numb. Why? Was that because he had crawled on the snow? The snow ... white ... cold ... he sought for warm in the arms that were wrapped around his body. He felt his body's lifted.
His mind wandered back to the past as he felt his body swayed. Happier memories that he kept deep in his heart.
Flashback
"Hi!"
Sirius looked at the ten-year-old boy who had just stepped into the compartment. His raven-coloured hair was unruly and his eyeglasses hid his dark eyes.
"The other compartments are full. Mind if I sit here?"
"Suit yourself."
He smiled and sat in front of Sirius. "I'm James Potter. What's your name?"
"Sirius Black." He replied curtly.
He saw the other boy's eyes started to darken at the sound of his name. There's no one who didn't know about the Blacks. They're Muggle-hater and obviously great supporters of the Dark Side, even though they're not known as Death-Eaters. Sirius found the bespectacled boy studying him as he studied the other boy's expression. They waited. Sirius waited for him to stand up and leave him alone like the others had done. But what happened later had never been thought by him.
James Potter threw him another smile and said, "You have a wonderful name. You do know that Sirius is a star's name, don't you? I think it suits you very much. So, do you play quidditch?"
End of Flashback
James ... Yes, that's the first time he'd ever seen James. They're befriended right after that. James was the first person who had offered to become his friend. He had never asked him to, knowing that he didn't have any rights to do that.
How fast the years went by and now he found himself in nothingness, without anything. He wanted to keep his mind away from James. The best memories he'd ever had, yet also the worst ones, even worse than the memories of his parents but they flowed out of his mind and started to playback before his eyes. The things he needed to forget, the person he needed to forget ... James Potter ...
Flashback
"Black, Sirius!"
He sat down on the stool while McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on his head. He could hear voice in his head, the Sorting Hat's. By the blood that ran in his veins, he's supposed to be in Slytherin where all the pureblooded Muggle-haters were. But he was not a Muggle-hater, he would never be. He didn't want to be in Slytherin, especially after he could befriend with James. James had given him a reassuring smile, saying that everything would be okay. Yes, if only he could be in the same House as James, even if it's Slytherin, he could handle.
But he knew just well that James would never be a Slytherin. A Slytherin wouldn't smile angelically like he did. Slytherins always put a mask of hypocrisy and flattered everybody with their serpent tongue. No, James' definitely not going to be a Slytherin and that meant that he wouldn't be there too.
He closed his eyes tightly when he heard the Sorting Hat shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!!"
End of Flashback
He had been a Gryffindor and the Gryffindors were known for their bravery. But he didn't have any. Why had the Sorting Hat chosen him to be in Gryffindor? But he didn't regret it. He was in the same House as James Potter and that's the best thing that had ever happened to him in his life, well other than when James ...
But it's too late now. James had Lily. They belonged to each other. He had accepted it, he had to. And he had done it since about ... seventeen ... or was that eighteen years ago? He had lost track of time. Whatever. As hard as it might be, he didn't know what to do except leaving James with his family for good. ... Until Voldemort came.
Flashback
He was sitting with Remus in the library. It's not Sirius to come to the library but he came anyway. He needed to talk to Remus but he didn't know what to say either so they just sat there in silence. Finally Remus closed his book and stared at him.
"What is it, Padfoot? You've come all the way to this, the way you say it, den of book-worms, one of the places that I know you hate the most, and you didn't do anything. Just sit there and ..."
"Rem, I think I'm in love with James."
He bit his lower lip as he spilled his secret to his best friend. Remus raised an eyebrow at that and set his eyes on Sirius' completely. "Are you sure? Do you really think so or you know it?"
"I know I'm in love with James. Happy?"
He nodded and smiled. Sirius waited, but he didn't say anything else and returned his attention to his book. "Well, what should I do?" he asked in utter annoyance.
"Do you really need me to tell you what to do? I think you've figured it out yourself. Tell him." He glanced up from his book.
"What if he didn't feel the same? He would never want to speak to me again."
"That's the risk but I don't think he would ditch you, Padfoot. He'll be shocked, yes, but he won't discard you as a friend."
Sirius nodded, but then the doubt struck him again. "But what if he chose to be with Evans? I don't think I would survive if he rejected me, Remus. Why do I have to fall in love with my own best friend for Merlin's sakes?!"
"Padfoot, I'd want to lower your voice if I were you." Came a very familiar voice from behind Sirius' back. Remus grinned and made his retreat.
Sirius turned around to find no one other than James Potter, standing in front of him with his hands inside his pockets. His lips formed a tender smile that could make Sirius swoon. He was sure that James had heard his last sentence and the only thing he could do was wait for his reactions.
James gave him a smug grin as he placed his hands on the table, each at the either side of Sirius' head, forcing him to back against the table further. "So," he asked in a somewhat seductive tone, "You fall in love with your best friend, huh? And who's that, Padfoot? Of course I don't want to flatter myself but I personally think I know who you meant."
Sirius gulped but managed to smile. "And who do you think it is?"
James leant in and closed the gap between them. After he released Sirius, he muttered, "I think, my dear Sirius, that's enough for an answer." And kissed him once again fully on the lips.
End of Flashback
James, James ... Sirius would never know why he couldn't get him out of his head. The pasts that kept playing over and over inside his head ... he wanted to forget them. He wanted them to vanish from his memories but he knew as much as he wanted it to, a part of him wanted to keep them still.
Then the voices came once more. The voices of his friends, Harry, and the others ... the feeling of his body being carried away and laid down on the bed. White ... and a soft, warm finger trailed down his cheekbone. He leant in to the touch that he knew so well but how could it be? Wasn't he dead? Wasn't ... James dead?
"Why can't you give him the same potion you used on me, Snape?" James eyed Snape with anger and his tone only consisted a bit sound of pleading.
"Because, Potter, the one I used on you was a Resurrection Potion and not a Resuscitation Potion. And that's what Black need. He's not dead yet, he's comatose."
Snape had successfully brought James and Lily back to life after Voldemort's defeat. Of course, Remus had forced him to look for Sirius too but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't find him. Then the idea struck him. What if he hadn't died in the first place? Of course they couldn't look for his spirit if he's not dead and of course a living person couldn't be resurrected.
Dumbledore asked the Order to look for him all over and they finally found him outside of Hogsmeade near the cave he had sought shelter in Harry's fourth year. Nobody knew how he got there but they guessed that he had somehow manage to make his way, probably crawling and dragging himself all the way, to Hogsmeade.
At least, he's alive. At least, they still had a chance to see him. Oh, how James panicked when he saw him lying there on the snow, almost buried in it. He had brought Sirius to the castle for Madam Pomfrey's treatment because that's the closest place he could come up with. How distressed his face looked right now as he caressed Sirius pale face. Some tears were ready to roll down his cheeks again.
"Snape, you can bring us back to life but you can't wake him up."
"I didn't say I couldn't, Potter." He snapped back in exasperation. "I've given him the Resuscitation Potion Madam Pomfrey got from the Hospital and now all we can do is wait." Snape quickly make his way out of the Hospital Wings.
Harry always came there after his classes with his friends and one Draco Malfoy in tow. They got together in the beginning of his seventh year. Ron and Hermione weren't into that but they could accept it eventually knowing how stubborn Harry could become when he wanted to.
Lily and James' marriage had been annulled due to their request since they found out that they had never loved each other and being together would only cause the pain grew deeper, for their respective lovers actually. The truth was ... their marriage was meant to be a sort of revenge but now they regretted it when they thought how childish they were. She moved in with her former lover, now his fiancée, Daniel Irving and came to visit Sirius once in a while. Sometimes she would look at Sirius and James then at Harry and sighed. It seemed like something had been bothering her mind.
That day after classes as usual, Harry walked in with Draco tailing him. "How's he, Dad?" asked the seventeen-year-old boy once he sat on the chair near Sirius' bed.
"Just like this. Nothing's changed."
Harry had to bite his lower lip to hold himself from crying. Draco gave him a pat on the back and said that he would be back after the quidditch practice. That left James and Harry alone with an unconscious Sirius.
Harry loved his godfather, he really did. For once, he had thought that he could have a real family with him but because of Pettigrew, the chance had flown out the window. Now that Pettigrew had gone, he wanted to be with the people he loved ... his parents, Sirius, Draco, his friends.
Seeing Sirius' condition made him wanted to cry over and over. There were so many things that he had done for Harry. Escaping from Azkaban after spending twelve years there 'cause Pettigrew had framed him, that filthy rat, not to mention watching over him always, the things that he couldn't believe he would do for him. Yes, he was his godfather but for him, he's more than that. Sirius was his friend, his patron, his Dad's ex-lover ...
"Harry, you can rest if you want to." James looked up at his son and smiled exhaustedly. The tension that occurred between them when they first saw each other had gone. They're family and at that kind of time, they needed family even more, for support that he had never had for years.
"No, I'll stay." Harry pulled his chair closer to Sirius' bed and looked at him closely. "He'll get better, Dad. I'm sure of it. Sn- I mean, Professor Snape has given him the potion he needs. He'll ... wake up ..."
James gave him a nod, though he was unsure, but he knew that's what Harry needed. He needed the comfort and of course assurance that his godfather could wake up. All it took was time.
James missed his smile, his laugh, how his eyes looked when it glinted with mischief, everything about Sirius Black that could make him went crazy. He missed him so much and when he remembered their last meeting, he regretted his words and cursed his stupidity. He had said hurtful things to Sirius that night, yes he had, and he would do anything to make it up to him even if he asked him to get down on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Harry got up from his seat silently and gave James a nod before walking out to the Great Hall. James turned his head to Sirius again and took his hand before kissing it.
"Please, wake up, Sirius. I love you."
And though he knew it'd be too late for him to say that, he wanted Sirius to hear that. He knew he'd do anything to make it up to him and if Sirius wasn't going to wake up, he was more than willing to join him, wherever he was.
TBC
A/N : That's the end for this chapter. Do you think it's too short
or too long? Should I go on with this story or should I stop it right
here right now? It's all depended on your reviews. Well, I think I'll
continue this no matter how your review will be but still, I want to
know what you think. So R&R, please!
Pairing : James x Sirius, slight Harry x Draco and Snape x
Lupin
Lily x Daniel (my character) and others.
Summary : James and Lily had finally been brought back to
life. But how about Sirius? Could he forgive James after what
he'd done to him? What did he want to forget the most? What
happened when it's James that he forgot?
Forgotten Time
By Misaki Sakura
Ch. One : Loneliness Knows Me by Name
He could hear Harry calling him, shouting his name as he drifted off into the darkness. Darkness ... he was used to that. He had spent twelve years in Azkaban, perfect place to live, huh? But he had known the darkness far before that. Why were they crying? All of them, his friends, ... they're all crying. For what?
His hands felt numb. Why? Was that because he had crawled on the snow? The snow ... white ... cold ... he sought for warm in the arms that were wrapped around his body. He felt his body's lifted.
His mind wandered back to the past as he felt his body swayed. Happier memories that he kept deep in his heart.
Flashback
"Hi!"
Sirius looked at the ten-year-old boy who had just stepped into the compartment. His raven-coloured hair was unruly and his eyeglasses hid his dark eyes.
"The other compartments are full. Mind if I sit here?"
"Suit yourself."
He smiled and sat in front of Sirius. "I'm James Potter. What's your name?"
"Sirius Black." He replied curtly.
He saw the other boy's eyes started to darken at the sound of his name. There's no one who didn't know about the Blacks. They're Muggle-hater and obviously great supporters of the Dark Side, even though they're not known as Death-Eaters. Sirius found the bespectacled boy studying him as he studied the other boy's expression. They waited. Sirius waited for him to stand up and leave him alone like the others had done. But what happened later had never been thought by him.
James Potter threw him another smile and said, "You have a wonderful name. You do know that Sirius is a star's name, don't you? I think it suits you very much. So, do you play quidditch?"
End of Flashback
James ... Yes, that's the first time he'd ever seen James. They're befriended right after that. James was the first person who had offered to become his friend. He had never asked him to, knowing that he didn't have any rights to do that.
How fast the years went by and now he found himself in nothingness, without anything. He wanted to keep his mind away from James. The best memories he'd ever had, yet also the worst ones, even worse than the memories of his parents but they flowed out of his mind and started to playback before his eyes. The things he needed to forget, the person he needed to forget ... James Potter ...
Flashback
"Black, Sirius!"
He sat down on the stool while McGonagall placed the Sorting Hat on his head. He could hear voice in his head, the Sorting Hat's. By the blood that ran in his veins, he's supposed to be in Slytherin where all the pureblooded Muggle-haters were. But he was not a Muggle-hater, he would never be. He didn't want to be in Slytherin, especially after he could befriend with James. James had given him a reassuring smile, saying that everything would be okay. Yes, if only he could be in the same House as James, even if it's Slytherin, he could handle.
But he knew just well that James would never be a Slytherin. A Slytherin wouldn't smile angelically like he did. Slytherins always put a mask of hypocrisy and flattered everybody with their serpent tongue. No, James' definitely not going to be a Slytherin and that meant that he wouldn't be there too.
He closed his eyes tightly when he heard the Sorting Hat shouted, "GRYFFINDOR!!"
End of Flashback
He had been a Gryffindor and the Gryffindors were known for their bravery. But he didn't have any. Why had the Sorting Hat chosen him to be in Gryffindor? But he didn't regret it. He was in the same House as James Potter and that's the best thing that had ever happened to him in his life, well other than when James ...
But it's too late now. James had Lily. They belonged to each other. He had accepted it, he had to. And he had done it since about ... seventeen ... or was that eighteen years ago? He had lost track of time. Whatever. As hard as it might be, he didn't know what to do except leaving James with his family for good. ... Until Voldemort came.
Flashback
He was sitting with Remus in the library. It's not Sirius to come to the library but he came anyway. He needed to talk to Remus but he didn't know what to say either so they just sat there in silence. Finally Remus closed his book and stared at him.
"What is it, Padfoot? You've come all the way to this, the way you say it, den of book-worms, one of the places that I know you hate the most, and you didn't do anything. Just sit there and ..."
"Rem, I think I'm in love with James."
He bit his lower lip as he spilled his secret to his best friend. Remus raised an eyebrow at that and set his eyes on Sirius' completely. "Are you sure? Do you really think so or you know it?"
"I know I'm in love with James. Happy?"
He nodded and smiled. Sirius waited, but he didn't say anything else and returned his attention to his book. "Well, what should I do?" he asked in utter annoyance.
"Do you really need me to tell you what to do? I think you've figured it out yourself. Tell him." He glanced up from his book.
"What if he didn't feel the same? He would never want to speak to me again."
"That's the risk but I don't think he would ditch you, Padfoot. He'll be shocked, yes, but he won't discard you as a friend."
Sirius nodded, but then the doubt struck him again. "But what if he chose to be with Evans? I don't think I would survive if he rejected me, Remus. Why do I have to fall in love with my own best friend for Merlin's sakes?!"
"Padfoot, I'd want to lower your voice if I were you." Came a very familiar voice from behind Sirius' back. Remus grinned and made his retreat.
Sirius turned around to find no one other than James Potter, standing in front of him with his hands inside his pockets. His lips formed a tender smile that could make Sirius swoon. He was sure that James had heard his last sentence and the only thing he could do was wait for his reactions.
James gave him a smug grin as he placed his hands on the table, each at the either side of Sirius' head, forcing him to back against the table further. "So," he asked in a somewhat seductive tone, "You fall in love with your best friend, huh? And who's that, Padfoot? Of course I don't want to flatter myself but I personally think I know who you meant."
Sirius gulped but managed to smile. "And who do you think it is?"
James leant in and closed the gap between them. After he released Sirius, he muttered, "I think, my dear Sirius, that's enough for an answer." And kissed him once again fully on the lips.
End of Flashback
James, James ... Sirius would never know why he couldn't get him out of his head. The pasts that kept playing over and over inside his head ... he wanted to forget them. He wanted them to vanish from his memories but he knew as much as he wanted it to, a part of him wanted to keep them still.
Then the voices came once more. The voices of his friends, Harry, and the others ... the feeling of his body being carried away and laid down on the bed. White ... and a soft, warm finger trailed down his cheekbone. He leant in to the touch that he knew so well but how could it be? Wasn't he dead? Wasn't ... James dead?
"Why can't you give him the same potion you used on me, Snape?" James eyed Snape with anger and his tone only consisted a bit sound of pleading.
"Because, Potter, the one I used on you was a Resurrection Potion and not a Resuscitation Potion. And that's what Black need. He's not dead yet, he's comatose."
Snape had successfully brought James and Lily back to life after Voldemort's defeat. Of course, Remus had forced him to look for Sirius too but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't find him. Then the idea struck him. What if he hadn't died in the first place? Of course they couldn't look for his spirit if he's not dead and of course a living person couldn't be resurrected.
Dumbledore asked the Order to look for him all over and they finally found him outside of Hogsmeade near the cave he had sought shelter in Harry's fourth year. Nobody knew how he got there but they guessed that he had somehow manage to make his way, probably crawling and dragging himself all the way, to Hogsmeade.
At least, he's alive. At least, they still had a chance to see him. Oh, how James panicked when he saw him lying there on the snow, almost buried in it. He had brought Sirius to the castle for Madam Pomfrey's treatment because that's the closest place he could come up with. How distressed his face looked right now as he caressed Sirius pale face. Some tears were ready to roll down his cheeks again.
"Snape, you can bring us back to life but you can't wake him up."
"I didn't say I couldn't, Potter." He snapped back in exasperation. "I've given him the Resuscitation Potion Madam Pomfrey got from the Hospital and now all we can do is wait." Snape quickly make his way out of the Hospital Wings.
Harry always came there after his classes with his friends and one Draco Malfoy in tow. They got together in the beginning of his seventh year. Ron and Hermione weren't into that but they could accept it eventually knowing how stubborn Harry could become when he wanted to.
Lily and James' marriage had been annulled due to their request since they found out that they had never loved each other and being together would only cause the pain grew deeper, for their respective lovers actually. The truth was ... their marriage was meant to be a sort of revenge but now they regretted it when they thought how childish they were. She moved in with her former lover, now his fiancée, Daniel Irving and came to visit Sirius once in a while. Sometimes she would look at Sirius and James then at Harry and sighed. It seemed like something had been bothering her mind.
That day after classes as usual, Harry walked in with Draco tailing him. "How's he, Dad?" asked the seventeen-year-old boy once he sat on the chair near Sirius' bed.
"Just like this. Nothing's changed."
Harry had to bite his lower lip to hold himself from crying. Draco gave him a pat on the back and said that he would be back after the quidditch practice. That left James and Harry alone with an unconscious Sirius.
Harry loved his godfather, he really did. For once, he had thought that he could have a real family with him but because of Pettigrew, the chance had flown out the window. Now that Pettigrew had gone, he wanted to be with the people he loved ... his parents, Sirius, Draco, his friends.
Seeing Sirius' condition made him wanted to cry over and over. There were so many things that he had done for Harry. Escaping from Azkaban after spending twelve years there 'cause Pettigrew had framed him, that filthy rat, not to mention watching over him always, the things that he couldn't believe he would do for him. Yes, he was his godfather but for him, he's more than that. Sirius was his friend, his patron, his Dad's ex-lover ...
"Harry, you can rest if you want to." James looked up at his son and smiled exhaustedly. The tension that occurred between them when they first saw each other had gone. They're family and at that kind of time, they needed family even more, for support that he had never had for years.
"No, I'll stay." Harry pulled his chair closer to Sirius' bed and looked at him closely. "He'll get better, Dad. I'm sure of it. Sn- I mean, Professor Snape has given him the potion he needs. He'll ... wake up ..."
James gave him a nod, though he was unsure, but he knew that's what Harry needed. He needed the comfort and of course assurance that his godfather could wake up. All it took was time.
James missed his smile, his laugh, how his eyes looked when it glinted with mischief, everything about Sirius Black that could make him went crazy. He missed him so much and when he remembered their last meeting, he regretted his words and cursed his stupidity. He had said hurtful things to Sirius that night, yes he had, and he would do anything to make it up to him even if he asked him to get down on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Harry got up from his seat silently and gave James a nod before walking out to the Great Hall. James turned his head to Sirius again and took his hand before kissing it.
"Please, wake up, Sirius. I love you."
And though he knew it'd be too late for him to say that, he wanted Sirius to hear that. He knew he'd do anything to make it up to him and if Sirius wasn't going to wake up, he was more than willing to join him, wherever he was.
TBC
A/N : That's the end for this chapter. Do you think it's too short
or too long? Should I go on with this story or should I stop it right
here right now? It's all depended on your reviews. Well, I think I'll
continue this no matter how your review will be but still, I want to
know what you think. So R&R, please!
