****Disclaimer!!! Sailor Moon and all her friends aren't mine! Oh how I wish they were!!! The characters that are not originally from the SM universe are mine, but that's not many. End of Disclaimer****

~Sailor Moon Longings - Part 1~

She stood there silent, in all her glory, her blue eyes, casting their mysterious glow upon the city below. She remained still. Her eyes searching for something she was not to find.

The gentle cool breeze brushed past her bare shoulders and she stood, her arms hugging herself casually in thought. Her long blond tendrils tied up in their normal odangos, hung loose and long about her body almost touching the floor, stirred in the breeze. The breeze that blew about picked up each strand and caused them to dance about her.

She stared out, distant. She had been searching long and hard for something. Something that she felt she would never have again. In frustration, she returned to her room, leaving the doors to the balcony open, allowing the gentle breeze play with the sheer curtains that hung before the glass doors.

"Milady? Are you well?" Came a soft voice from the center of the room. Usagi lifted her gaze at the mention of her name.

"No not particularly Ana. There is something out there. Something I have been searching for and have not found. Something…" Usagi let her words trail off. Ana looked at her Lady, sympathetically. When her lady had returned to her kingdom, she was happy and eager to return. But that was two months ago. Now, she was subdued almost calm. She was constantly daydreaming and staring out the windows for hours at a time. At times it was if her lady was saddened by something. And this change was what worried Ana so.

Usagi slowly made her way to her dressing table and sat down on the stool that stood before it. She peered into the mirror at her reflection. Before her was the image of a beautiful young woman with long blond hair. Her large blue eyes were mysterious and showed the signs of happiness at one time. Her chin was held high in her reflection. She was proud of who she was. She followed her thin neck and gazed at her shoulders, the very shoulders that held so much weight upon them, at one point or another.

"Ana? What do you see when you look at me?" She asked looking to her lady in waiting through the mirror. Ana looked back at her lady through the mirror's glass, she fidgeted a moment. She had been caught off guard.

"Oh Ana, I'm sorry. Forgive me will you?" Usagi asked as she gave her lady in waiting a reassuring smile.

"It's fine really milady," Ana started as she took a seat at the foot of Usagi's bed. "What do I see when I look at you? Milady, what is wrong?" Ana asked, her voice expressing her concern. Usagi smiled and shook her head slightly.

"Have you ever wondered who you really were? Where you came from? If there are those who are exactly like you? Have you ever longed for something that you knew you might never have?" Usagi asked, curiously.

Ana thought a moment before she spoke, "No milady I have not. Those who are similar to myself surround me. And I have everything I could possibly want." Ana said as she stood to her feet and exited the room to carry on her duties, leaving the trouble Usagi alone with her thoughts.

"That's what I was afraid of" Usagi said softly to her reflection in the mirror, sadness and loneliness in her eyes as well.

He stood in the window of his apartment and stared out into busy street below. The moon was full and looked peaceful but at the same time, he felt the chaos that lurked around the moon. He felt the chaos within. It had been two months since she left, but why?

It had happened all so fast.

"Usagi? What's wrong? You don't seem yourself lately," Makoto asked concerned. Usagi looked up at her friend, startled as if rudely awaken from sleep.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" She asked with a forced smile. Makoto and Ami frowned. None of the group had ever seen Usagi like this before. And lately it was Usagi was a different person then the blond bubblehead they all knew and loved. It was as if she had traded in her vibrant personality and took on a totally different one. One that was quiet and subdued. She was constantly daydreaming and most the time seemed to slip from their company when their backs were turned.

"Usagi! What has gotten into you?" Raye asked annoyed as she poked Usagi's arm trying to get a rise out of her. Usagi glanced at Raye and shrugged the poke off causing Raye to become even more frustrated.

"Nothing is wrong with me. I feel fine. You really all shouldn't worry about me," Usagi said cheerfully as she ducked into the library and leaving the others on the sidewalk in their confusion.

"The library?" Minako asked, her shock filtering into her voice. The others too stood and stared at the front doors to the library slowly clicked shut, shocked. They normally had to drag Usagi kicking and screaming in order to get her in that place. And here she was voluntarily going into a place she would never be caught dead in? WEIRD!

Usagi silently slipped through the library weaving in and out of rows after rows of books just in case the others were following her. She just wanted to be alone right now. And their constant questions were bugging her. But she knew they had to right to know. But she couldn't tell them right now. She wasn't sure if she would ever be able to tell them.

"I'm sorry you guys. If I could tell you I would. Please understand that I can't tell you what's wrong. Please," Usagi thought silently as she glanced over her shoulder quickly before slipping through the back door into the alley behind the library.

"Usagi? Usagi!"

Usagi mentally shook herself back to reality. She and Mamoru were in his apartment sharing a quiet evening alone, like they had so many times before. They were curled up on the couch, Mamoru with his arm around Usagi, holding her close to him. They had just finished a romantic dinner that he had cooked and now they were just relaxing.

"Usagi, you were daydreaming again. Are you sure you are alright?" Mamoru asked concerned. He had never seen her this distracted before. Usagi nodded and forced a smile onto her face, but her eyes betrayed the look of happiness. They were sad, almost frightened at the same time.

He shifted himself so that he and Usagi were looking at each other.

"Usagi, I'm worried about you. You have not been yourself since that night at my friend's cabin. Come on and talk to me, will you? What's wrong?" He asked almost pleaded. Usagi took a deep breath. ~I have to tell him. He has the right to know. He should know~ She thought as she opened her mouth to speak. She was going to tell him everything and get it off her chest, but she thought again.

"Mamoru, I can't. It's not that I don't want to because I truly do want to tell you, but I can't. I just can't!" Usagi cried as she stumbled to her feet and rushed from the apartment in tears.

"USAGI!"