CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT: It's My Life

The only thing that Ron wouldn't miss with Hogwarts closed was homework. He had thought the workload in fifth year was unbearable, but it was twice as bad this year. He had been looking forward to an extended summer this year when Hermione got the idea in her head to complete her Hogwarts studies there at the Lupin summer home. She tried explaining that Lupin was a qualified teacher, and as such was more than competent to teach all but a few subjects. Lupin, being the accommodating person that he was, had agreed to teach her if that was what she really wanted. Once his mother had gotten wind of what Hermione was doing, she wanted both him and his sister to do the same. So now instead of having all this free time on his hands, he was being forced back in to lessons. He had been quite annoyed by it when Hermione had first thought it up, but having Lupin as their only teacher would have its merits. He wouldn't have to deal with Snape or the Slytherins, and since Lupin was a fair and easy going person he might get good marks for a change.

Now that Ginny was staying with them, he and Harry were back to sharing a room as they had at Grimmauld Place. He didn't mind that the girls each got their own room. Harry had been his dorm mate for almost six years, and the room they were sharing now was larger than his own room back at The Burrow. Hermione had also been quick to point out that she still had her own room, so it wouldn't be any harder than before to find time alone together. He liked her way of thinking.

He was in his room now, searching through the disarray of clothes and other assorted items that were scattered throughout, trying to find his Transfiguration notes. Hermione was in this mad rush to make up for all the school she had missed. She was attempting to cram two months of learning into two weeks. For the most part, he was indulging her obsessive need to catch up on school work, because he knew how important school was to her – even if he didn't understand it – and with Hogwarts closed for the time being, he didn't want her to lose out on that. Of course he wouldn't have been Ron Weasley if he didn't tease her now and again about it. Secretly, he thought that she enjoyed it, probably because it helped to maintain a sense of normality about their lives, even when everything going on around them was anything but normal.

He looked under the last remaining pile of clothes, but didn't find his Transfiguration notebook. His notes were never that good to begin with, so he figured he might as well give her Harry's – at least his were legible. He didn't think his friend would mind either.

Harry's side of the room could be described as polar opposite from Ron's. Clothes were not strewn about every which way, his floor was clean and the bed was made. If Ron hadn't seen with his own eyes the conditions he had been forced to grow up in, he would have found it extremely odd that he was so neat. Harry didn't generally leave things lying around, so he was going to have to open each drawer until he found what he was looking for.

The third drawer he opened he thought he found what he was looking for, but they turned out to be Defense Against the Arts textbooks that probably Sirius or Lupin had given him as a gift one year. He almost shut the drawer and moved on to the next, when something on the cover caught his eye: Defense Against the Dark Arts: Advanced NEWT level Magic, a prerequisite for Auror training. He pulled that book out of the drawer and read the title off of the one beneath it: Shield Charms, Disarming Spells, Befuddling Your Enemy, and Everything Else You Need to Defend Yourself Against Dark Magic. In small letters underneath the title it said required reading for Auror trainees. He looked back in the drawer to see what else was in there and found a single folded piece of parchment. He had never before invaded Harry's privacy, and he knew how wrong it was to go through his best friend's belongings, but a feeling in his gut told him to read that parchment. Once he had, he tore through the room and down the stairs, the piece of parchment clutched tightly in his fist – the Transfiguration notes forgotten.

It had been two days since Ginny had come to stay at Lupin's. And in that time she had endured watching Harry walk on eggshells around her or just flat out avoid her altogether. It didn't take a genius to figure out why. Even though the attack on Hogsmeade had nothing to do with him he still felt responsible for it somehow. She didn't know how it was possible for one person to carry around so much guilt without exploding.

She had managed to corner him into a game of chess when he walked into the study and saw her sitting in there. Though Harry was a fairly decent chess player, she could have beaten him easily, but that wasn't what she had in mind. It wasn't that she wanted to toy with him, but as soon as they finished their game he would probably retreat upstairs to his room, where he had been spending most of his time since her arrival.

"I'm sorry you have to share a room with Ron now that I'm here," she said, watching one of her pieces move forward.

Harry, who was contemplating his next move, said, "it's not a big deal. Besides I've spent the last six years listening to him snore at night, so it won't be any different here," he said, looking up and grinning at her.

She returned the grin. It was good to see him smiling again.

"You could have beaten me three moves back," he stated, locking his green eyes on her.

Perhaps everything wasn't going as well as she thought. "You noticed that, huh?"

"I may not be as good as you or Ron, but I know when someone's deliberately avoiding taking my queen. What are you playing at, Gin?"

"I just thought it might be nice if I didn't slaughter you for a change."

"So it's a pity game, then?"

She suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at him. Leave it to Harry to twist her words like that. "I don't pity you, and nobody else does for that matter. If anything, people feel empathy and sympathy towards you, and there's nothing wrong with that."

A scowl planted itself on his face, but she didn't say anything more. It would do no good to tell him wasn't responsible for the Hogsmeade attack. All it would do was make him more defensive. If he didn't believe something himself there was no point in telling him otherwise.

"Can we just finish the game?" He said his jaw clenched.

If he was going to be like this that was fine. She was going to give it right back to him. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"Wh – what are you talking about?" He stammered.

"Since I got here you've acted like nothing would please you more than to have me gone."

He stared down at the chessboard, where the pieces were starting to mutter impatiently now that the game seemed to be put on hold. "I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. That wasn't my intention."

"So what was your intention?" She dared to ask.

"Ginny…" he trailed off and shook his head. "All right, I didn't want you here. I didn't want you anywhere near me," he said, his voice rough. "Because I don't want what happened with Ron and Hermione to ever happen to you."

His eyes bore into hers and she didn't know if she should slap him or – she quickly nixed all the or possibilities out of her mind. He was worried about protecting her. He was always so concerned about everyone else. It was one of the qualities she lov – admired about him. There could never be another person like Harry Potter.

Ron swept into the room then, moving so quickly he was standing in front of the two of them before Ginny could blink. He slammed a piece of parchment down on the chessboard, scattering the pieces everyone, which shouted and cursed at him from all over the floor.

"Do you mind telling me what the fuck this is?" He glared accusingly at Harry.

Ginny couldn't see what it was exactly because it was upside down, but it appeared to be an application of sorts.

"So you're snooping through me things now, is that it?" Harry said in a dangerous voice.

"Maybe you're just not that great at hiding things," Ron shot back. "When were you going to tell us about this? Or were you just going to wait until they brought you home in a fucking body bag?"

"Ron, what are you on about?" Ginny intervened.

"Harry here has decided he's becoming an Auror and didn't bother to tell anyone," he informed her.

"I don't need to clear my decisions with you," Harry said, standing up.

"You're right, you don't. But you could have at least told your best friends about this life-altering choice you were making. Dammit, Harry, you knew I wanted to join the Auror program, but you were just going to keep me in the dark about this."

How could he explain to a very angry Ron that becoming an Auror was a path he had to take, while Ron had other options? Ron would never accept that as an answer. "I didn't tell you because I knew you would want to join."

"Of course I'd join! Do you think I would let you do this alone?"

As much as he was touched by Ron's fierce loyalty he could not let him make a choice like this. "Ron, please try and understand. I can't let you do this for me."

"Do you really think you stand a chance of stopping either one of us?" Hermione's calm voice sounded from the doorway, where she had one eyebrow arched at Harry.

Both boys whirled around, and though they had been arguing on opposite sides just moments ago, they were in agreement on one thing – Hermione was not becoming an Auror.

"Hermione, you are not entering the Auror program," Harry said, his tone resolute.

"You can't tell me what to do, Harry," she said defiantly.

"He's right, Hermione," Ron said to her. "You're not doing this. That's final."

"You do not make my decisions for me, Ronald Weasley," she said crossly.

"I bloody well can about this because Harry and I are not going to let you throw your life away, just so you don't feel left behind."

That hit a little too close to home for her. Her father had said those exact words about throwing her life away, and hearing them spoken by Ron was too much. He was being an arrogant and selfish prat, and if he thought he could tell her what she could and could not do with her life he was sorely mistaken.

She pointed an accusatory finger at Ron and then Harry. "I don't need either one of your permission to decide what I want to do with my life. So learn to live with it," she said hotly and bolted from the room.

"Hermione, stop!" Ron called after her.

"This isn't open for discussion," she said over her shoulder.

She walked into the sunroom and he followed her in there, closing the screen door and putting up a silencing charm to keep the rest of the house's occupants from hearing them.

"Would you just hear me out?" He said in exasperation.

"No, I won't," she said, placing both hands on her hips and glaring at him, "because you're just going to feed me some rubbish about how women don't belong in the Auror program because they don't have the same strength or mentality as men."

"Don't turn this into some witches right bullshit," he snapped at her. "I know Tonks is a good Auror, and I never said or even thought women couldn't be Aurors."

"So it's not women in general, then? It's just me you think incapable of handling it?" She said, throwing him an icy stare.

He threw his hands up in frustration. "That's not what I meant! Stop putting words in my mouth, or do you think I'm so stupid I can't even speak for myself?"

Not once had she thought Ron to be stupid. He was really quite bright when he decided to apply himself, but she was far too angry to tell him any of that then. "Then what do you mean? Why won't you let me do this?"

He laced his hands through the back of his neck and looked at her anxiously. "Because…"

"That's not an answer," she said when he didn't continue. "And if that's all you've got we're through here." She tried to brush passed him but he grabbed her arm and held her there.

"Do you have any idea how brilliant you are?" He said, his eyes penetrating hers. "All that school you missed and you've been sitting out here learning two months of lessons without any help from anyone. You asked Lupin to continue teaching you what we haven't learned yet, when you could probably stand there and teach it to the rest of us. I know how hard you worked to be the top of the class at everything, and the only reason I tease you about any of it is because I'm jealous. I know I will never be as smart as you, and every day I worry that you're going to wake up and realize you deserve to be with someone who appreciates all that instead of punishing you for it."

He released his grip on her arm, gauging her face for any sort of reaction, but she was so moved and touched by his words she wasn't sure what to say. Damn him! She was supposed to be angry with him and fighting for the choice she should be allowed to make and he was making it a damn near impossible thing to do.

"I don't want to see you throw all that away because you feel the need to prove a point," he added, staring down at his feet.

"This isn't about proving a point," she said, her voice dropping back to a normal octave. "It's about doing what's right. I can't stay here while you and Harry are off risking your lives battling Death Eaters and Voldemort. I won't stand by and do nothing to help my friends. That's not who I am, Ron."

He was looking at her, and she could almost see his brain working as he tried to come up with ways to convince her otherwise. She wasn't going to let him get that far.

"My dad said those exact words about throwing my life away," she began slowly. "But what you and him don't understand is that it's just that – my life, and I'm free to do with it as I please. You said he was being selfish for making me choose between him and the wizarding world. Well you're being just as selfish for trying to make me choose between what I want and what you think I should want." She hadn't said any of it to hurt him, but he had to know that she was not going to budge on the Auror issue. And the sooner he accepted that the sooner things would be better for all of them.

She left him standing in the sunroom, hoping that when she saw him next he would have accepted her decision. If not, it was going to be a very long summer for all of them.

Hey folks, I know things are getting really angsty and depressing but that's what happens in war. I do promise that things will get happier near the end of the story, which isn't too far off now. Thanks for all your encouraging reviews up to this point!