CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO: The Vote

It took a few days before Harry felt ready to be around a number of people at once. During that time, Snape would come around twice a day to give him a potion that would dull the effects, but it wasn't meant to be taken continuously and it would not work if he was in a crowded room of people. So he spent most of that time shut up in his room, practicing mind exercises from a book Snape had leant him. Snape, in his typical condescending fashion, told him it was idiotic to use powers he still had no control over and even less understanding about. If he didn't want to pass out every time he used them he had to build up defenses. Originally, Snape had wanted him to control his mind abilities but never use them. However, it looked like now he was willing to concede that would not always be possible.

Now he was standing out on the front porch, leaning against the railing, glad for the fresh air, and even more grateful that the only sounds in his head were his own thoughts.

The screen door opened behind him and Lupin joined him, his stance mirroring Harry's.

"I won't ask how you're feeling, since I'm sure Molly has asked you that at least a million times already," he said, giving Harry a warm smile. "But I will ask if everything's all right up here." He pointed a finger to his own temple.

"Everything's silent," Harry assured him. "I guess I have Snape to thank for that."

"True, but you were the one who started shielding your mind from everyone else's. You did that on your own," his former teacher said proudly.

"I know it was a stupid thing to do," said Harry after a moment. "I barely have any training but I used it anyways."

"You have your Occlumency," Lupin reminded him. "I know it's not exactly the same thing, but it's probably the only defense that kept you from lapsing into a coma or worse. What would have been stupid was if you hadn't used every resource available to protect yourself. If anything, you should have at least learned that much from Moody. I'm not saying it was the brightest move, but you did what you had to given the circumstances." Lupin looked at him, his expression difficult to read. "I know originally I told you your powers would barely register except under situations of extreme duress, but after talking with Severus, I think I may have been wrong. He feels that your abilities are linked directly to Voldemort. The stronger he becomes, the stronger your powers are. I think at this point it would be impossible to keep you from using them completely. With the proper training from Severus, you could learn to have complete control over them and possibly use it to your advantage over your enemies. But you must be careful, Harry. You could potentially harm yourself and others. I would not recommend using it on anyone close to you until you've mastered full control. Even then, you need to be respectful of their privacy. I don't think I need to explain that part to you."

Harry folded his hands behind his head, trying to take in what Lupin had told him but at the same time not wanting to think about it too much. After what happened with the Death Eaters it would be a long time before he tried anything like that again. But if his powers were linked to Voldemort there was no telling what he might be able to do. He was in completely unknown territory and he doubted that even Snape fully understood what was happening to him or what he was capable of. That was not the only thing pressing on his mind.

"I couldn't even kill them," he said at last, referring to the Death Eaters that had been chasing after him. "I saw in their heads all the atrocities they had committed and all I had to do was concentrate a bit harder and they would have been dead."

"You've taken lives before but only because it was absolutely necessary. You didn't kill because you could – you killed out of necessity. And I promise you you'll have to kill again before this war is over," Lupin said, his tone grim. "Harry, There's a big difference between defending yourself and being a murderer. You have compassion, Harry, something that killers don't have. You showed those Death Eaters compassion even knowing they would never show you that if given the same opportunity."

"Moody would see that as a sign of weakness," said Harry, running both his hands through his hair. "And he'd be right. What kind of Auror am I going to be if I can't kill the enemy? I couldn't kill those Death Eaters, just like I couldn't let you and Sirius kill Wormtail. That same compassion," he spat the word, "let Wormtail escape and we couldn't clear Sirius's name. If we had, he wouldn't have been a prisoner at Grimmauld Place. If he had been out on missions for the Order he might still be alive." He had to blink hard to keep his tears at bay.

Lupin swallowed the lump in his throat. It was still hard talking about his friend in the past tense. He thought it would have been easy considering all the friends he had buried over the years but it wasn't. "Harry, I miss Sirius as much as you do. I don't know which one of us it's worse for – me, because I knew him almost my whole life, or you, because you never got that chance. Even if we had cleared Sirius's name there's still no guarantee he would be alive. He could have been killed on a mission for the Order, or maybe still died at the Ministry, or maybe he would still be alive and here right now, telling us both we need to get a grip on ourselves. If you want someone to blame for Pettigrew escaping, you should start with me. If I hadn't transformed he wouldn't have gotten away."

Harry stared down at his hands. "You couldn't control what was happening to you." He could still remember that night clearly. The first night he had met Sirius and learned he hadn't been the one who betrayed his parents. The night where for a short time he was filled with the knowledge that he would never have to go back to the Dursley's again.

"If I had at least remembered to take my Wolfsbane potion, I wouldn't have tried to kill everyone and Sirius and I could have stopped him from escaping." Harry opened his mouth to protest his admission of guilt, but Lupin held up a hand to stop him. "What I'm trying to say, Harry, is that you'll make yourself crazy thinking about all the 'what ifs', but that still doesn't change that what happened wasn't your fault. Yes, you should have been putting more effort into your Occlumency because you knew how important it was, but Sirius knew better too. Dumbledore ordered him to stay at Phoenix Headquarters but he ignored him. Since we were boys at school, Sirius was always reckless and never one for authority. Even if you hadn't followed that vision and gone to the Ministry, something else would have happened later on to put you in danger and Sirius would have done the same thing. Your safety was more important to him than anything else."

Harry kept his sight focused on the trees and land in front of them. His eyes were still watering but as long as he didn't look at Lupin he would be okay. It was just that after months of pushing any thoughts of Sirius into a forgotten part of his mind, talking about his godfather so openly, and with someone who understood every single emotion coursing through him was almost too much. When Lupin did speak again, he had almost forgotten he was standing there, since neither one had spoke in quite some time.

"When you were parents were still alive, but the war was getting really bad," Lupin started, his voice wavering slightly, "Sirius and I promised them that if anything ever happened, we would take care of you and raise you the way they would have." He shook his head ruefully. "If James and Lily were here to see everything we've got you caught up in – the same things we were supposed to protect you from – "

"They would be proud you did the best you could given the circumstances," Harry finished for him.

Lupin felt his own eyes water and quickly cleared his throat before he embarrassed them both. "Unless you've changed your mind, I think you'll want to open this," he said, handing Harry an envelope with the Ministry seal on it.

With everything that had happened it had completely slipped his mind about his results from the Auror exam. He examined his marks in each area and then the overall score at the bottom. "I passed," he said, not quite believing it even with the evidence right there in his hands. "It says I'm to report to the training facility on the second floor next Monday morning at seven."

Lupin clasped him on the shoulder and was grinning at him, but there was a touch of sadness in his eyes. Harry knew it was because there would be no more protecting him from what was going on. Once the training was over, he would be on the front line to protect the magical world from Voldemort.

"Are you sure you still want to do this?" Lupin asked.

He only had to think it over for a moment before answering with a firm, "yes."

Harry went inside a short while after, wanting to see if Ron had received his results as well. Remus had also told him Molly was making lunch for everyone, and after days of barely being able to keep anything down he was famished.

His friends were already seated at the table in the kitchen. He opened his mouth to ask Ron if he had gotten his marks, when Hermione squealed in delight at something in her hands and threw her arms around Ron, much to the surprise of Molly Weasley.

"That's wonderful news, dear." Mrs. Weasley congratulated her. "Harry, it's good to see you up and about. Would you like some lunch? I made sandwiches."

"Sure, thanks, Mrs. Weasley," he said, sliding into a chair at the table.

She waved her wand and a plate of sandwiches appeared in the middle of the table. "Hermione has some wonderful news. She got that job at the Department of Experimental Charms."

"Thanks mum, just forget about your own child," said Ron, somewhat miffed.

"Oh, and Ron passed his Auror testing," she said with much less enthusiasm.

"Did you get your marks?" Ron asked him.

"Yeah, I passed," Harry replied. He couldn't help but notice Mrs. Weasley didn't look overly thrilled by this news.

"Congratulations, Harry," she said, her voice betraying her true feelings. "Do you need anything else?"

"Mum, we're fine," Ron answered for Harry. "You don't have to keep watching us like this."

Mrs. Weasley had been at the house every day since the trio's encounter with the Death Eaters. Ron knew she meant well, but he was beginning to feel more smothered than he ever had at The Burrow. He was sure if his mum was getting on his nerves, she was bothering Harry as well. He was just too damn polite to say anything about it.

"I'm sorry, Ronald, if my being around bothers you so much. Maybe I just wanted to spend some time with my son who has only bothered to visit me once since coming to live here."

"Oh Christ, here comes the guilt trip," he muttered under his breath.

His mother had extraordinary hearing and heard every word he said. "You watch your language, Ronald Weasley," Mrs. Weasley snapped at him. "I know Remus doesn't allow you to talk like that here. You may be starting Auror training tomorrow, but you're still my son and you'll do as I say." She threw her apron on the counter and left the kitchen in a huff.

As soon as she was gone, Hermione elbowed him in the ribs.

"Ow! Hey, what was that for?" He rounded on her, rubbing the spot where she had hit him.

"You could have been a bit more considerate," she reprimanded him.

"And she could have been a bit more happier that I got into the Auror program," he shot back. "She's upset because we got in," he informed Harry. "She got in this huge row with Lupin and dad this morning, going on about how we're too young and the like."

"What did they say?" Said Harry, interested.

"Dad's not too happy about it either, but he says we're old enough to make our own decisions. Lupin said basically the same thing. He tried telling mum that we're too old to be sheltered from everything that's happening, and they're not doing us any favours by preventing us from learning how to defend ourselves. You can imagine how well that went over with her. Plus she's a wreck because they're having the vote today. Dad and all the other candidates are down at the Ministry waiting for the final counts to come in.

Aside from Mrs. Weasley's obvious nerves, Harry knew and could even understand why his and Ron's letters didn't exactly thrill her. She was very protective of her children and she knew there would be nothing she could do to protect him or Ron if they were Aurors. He didn't want her to be angry that they were doing this, but he couldn't not do the training just to make her happy either.

"The last few days are kind of hazy," he began, putting a roast beef sandwich on his plate. "How exactly did you two get away from the Death Eaters?"

"I thought the best way to outsmart them was to find the ground where we had the greatest advantage, so Ron and I went in to muggle London," Hermione told him. Her features had paled slightly, as if she already knew where he was going with this.

"Where'd you go?" He asked, biting into his sandwich.

"We took one of those taxi things," said Ron.

He took another bite from his sandwich. "To where?"

"My old house," Hermione said in a low voice, not daring to look at him. "My dad didn't sell it."

"So you two had a good shag while I was lying passed out in some alley?" He stated calmly.

"Harry, that's not what we planned to happen," she said to him, taking it upon herself to commence damage control. "We were soaking wet and needed somewhere to wait out the storm because the last thing we wanted was to lead them back here."

Ron's jaw dropped and he gaped openly at her. She hadn't even tried to deny Harry's accusation. He knew then what happened when she had touched Harry their first night back, and why he always seemed distant and even angry whenever they had gone upstairs to see him. Without intending to, he had seen everything, and even though he had no control over what he had done Ron was angry at Harry for it. He had seen something so private and personal, something he had no right to see.

"You were just making the most of a bad situation, is that it?" Harry said sharply.

"It's not our fault. What Hermione said is true, it just happened. We didn't know what was happening to you because you were the one who wanted to split up, remember? We wanted to stay but you had to go and play the fucking hero again and try and save the world like you always do," said Ron heatedly.

Harry stood up so fast he knocked his chair to the floor. He stared down Ron, his green eyes blazing. "I did what I thought was right. It's nice to know I protected my friends so they could shack up somewhere and shag. I can't believe I actually sent Snape away so he could help find you, instead of allowing him to help me."

It was Ron's turn to stand up in fury. "Hermione and I don't have to explain ourselves to you. You never would have known what happened if she hadn't touched you. That's fine if you want to be upset about it, but there's obviously something else bothering you so why don't you tell us what you're really pissed off about, Potter?"

"Ron, let's not do this," Hermione pleaded, standing beside him.

"No, if Harry wants to have a go at us, let him. But he's using the excuse that we spent the night together to hide what he's really upset about."

Harry was breathing heavily. He felt all the control he had been working on the last few days slipping away. What he really wanted was to hit Ron in the face as bad as Ron wanted to hit him.

"You want to know what I think this is about? I think you're so bloody miserable you resent the fact that we're happy," Ron shouted, jabbing a finger at him.

"Fuck you, Ron."

"Did I hit a sore spot? Look, Harry, you're the one who made your life this way. Nobody said you couldn't be happy – you did that all your own. I think all those years at the Dursley's messed you up real good. They've convinced you that you weren't deserving of happiness, so you go around looking for anything you can to make yourself feel rotten and guilty. You're alone and miserable because you think that's what you deserve, and we can stand here and spend the rest of our lives telling you otherwise but you need to figure it out for yourself." He said what he wanted to say and now he wanted to get out of there. "You coming?" He asked Hermione when he reached the doorway.

She wordlessly shook her head at him. He wanted to tell her it was a bad idea to stay, but he knew she wouldn't listen to him. He left knowing she would try and get through to him, even thought it would be a waste of time.

"Why didn't you leave with him?" Harry asked, when she remained standing where she was.

"Because even though I may not agree with the way Ron provoked you, he's right. Harry, you can't go on like this."

"Hermione, I'm doing what I have – "

"Don't feed me that rubbish about duty and doing what has to be done. We all know what's going on and what might happen, but that doesn't mean you stop living. I know you have a lot to deal with but you don't have to go through it alone. Ron and I are here for you, but don't you dare try and make us feel guilty for what's happened between us. I'm not going to apologize for being in love with Ron."

He was caught off guard by her admission. He had figured things were pretty serious between his two best friends, but had never stopped to consider just how serious. He had enough trouble accepting them as a couple in the beginning, that he hadn't even begun to comprehend they were in love with each other.

"I thought you were okay with this – with us," she said, obviously referring to her relationship with Ron.

"I am."

"No, you're not," she stated, "that much is obvious."

"I may not be doing back-flips about your relationship," he said, scratching the back of his head, "but I'm happy for you two." It wasn't exactly a lie. It was more he was envious of what they had then anything else. In truth, he felt left out. They were still his best friends but now they shared something that he couldn't be a part of. "I'm going to get some air," he told her, heading for the door.

He didn't look at her as he left and she didn't try to stop him. He didn't blame her. He could barely stand being himself at the moment.

Harry walked down, beyond the boundaries of the backyard to an area of trees that were knitted close together. It had become the spot that he would go to when confining himself in his room became too much and he just needed to get out. The only other person who knew about it was already there when he arrived.

"You're studying?" He said in an incredulous tone.

"Unlike some people, I still have classes," said Ginny, looking up from her collection of notes.

He could tell by her voice she was just playing with him. She wasn't really upset that he didn't have any schoolwork to do.

"And after the comments Remus wrote on my last quiz, I really need to do well on this one."

"I'm sure he wasn't too harsh," said Harry, sitting on the grass across from her.

"You'd be surprised. I mean he's nowhere near as vulgar as Snape, but he made his point loud and clear."

"And that would be?"

"I need to do a lot better if I don't want to get anything less than Outstanding when I take my O.W.L.'s. That's why I came out here so I wouldn't be disturbed."

"Sorry, I can go," he said, getting to his feet, but Ginny grabbed his hand and dragged him back down. He had to fight down the urge not to yank his hand free. He couldn't explain it. He hadn't had any problems being in contact with other people since before yesterday. Yet there was this spark that went through him that he couldn't explain when she touched his skin. She took note of the odd way he was looking at her, before he finally broke eye contact, clearing his throat.

"I came out here to get away from mum," she told him. "She's been in a right mood since you and Ron got your Auror letters. Now you know where the infamous Weasley temper comes from," she added jokingly. "Congratulations by the way."

"Thanks. I just wish your mum had taken the news a little better."

"Well, that's mum," she stated matter-of-factly. "But she really is proud of you even if she doesn't show it."

That made him feel a little better while he watched Ginny look back down at her notes. They had been spending a lot of time out there together recently, mostly just talking about Hogwarts or Quidditch, or other subjects that required little effort to converse about. Sometimes they didn't talk at all. Just the other day they had sat out there for most of the afternoon not speaking. He enjoyed spending time with her because his defenses didn't need to be on full alert around her. He could be in a relaxed state around her. That was until she had touched him. Now he had his guard up again.

"You haven't asked me about anything that happened."

She looked up from her studies. "If you wanted to tell me about your abilities you would have told me."

"I did want to tell you," he said earnestly. "I just didn't want you to look at me differently," he said, pulling out a fistful of grass.

"I would never see you as a freak or a weirdo, Harry, if that's what you were worried about. I would never be afraid of you either," she said, meeting his eyes briefly.

He let her study in peace after that. He was content to sit there in comfortable silence and tried not to think about the way she looked when she smiled at him.

Hours later the twins came out to drag Harry and Ginny inside. Fred and George had stopped by so they could hear the announcement for the next Minister of Magic. Harry had completely forgotten about the vote, even though Ron had mentioned something to him earlier on in the day.

They went inside where Ron, Hermione, Mrs. Weasley and Lupin were already gathered in the living room around the wireless. The twins left Harry and Ginny and bounded forward.

Ron shot Harry a look that Ginny caught before turning his attention back to the announcer over the wireless. When she looked to him for an explanation, Harry just sort of shrugged and looked away.

"In a matter of moments witches and wizards around Britain will have themselves a new Minister for Magic," the announcer's voice rang. "We are broadcasting live from the ministry itself where all five candidates are restlessly awaiting the results of the vote. Ethan Gladstone and his team of magical specialists are professionals in matters of this kind. Every vote was personally checked and re-checked to be sure there were no spells or enchantments used to try and sway the outcome. Those of you who did – and you know who you are – had their ballots destroyed and will have no say in who our next minister will be."

Harry looked over at Mrs. Weasley who seemed to be the most anxious of them all. She was staring so hard at the wireless it was if she was hoping that would speed up the process and get them the results already. It wasn't just Mrs. Weasley – the entire room seemed to be holding their breath, Harry among them. If it was this tense at Lupin's, he could only imagine what it was like down at the Ministry. Reporters were probably swarming around the candidates trying to get any bit of information they could, and would horde in on the winning candidate once the vote was announced.

For matters of security, none of the candidates could bring any one down to the Ministry with them. In the past when a new minister had been voted in, disgruntled family members who did not like the outcome of the vote had tried to curse the chosen candidate before they could even take the stage and make a thank you speech. Since there was no way to keep the press out that wouldn't result in a riot of some kind, all reporters were required to give up their wands and subject both themselves and their equipment to a magical inspection.

"It looks like the Ministry High Council has the results," the announcer said excitedly. "Yes, they have it. It looks like they're having a discussion about it… and now they're finally ready to make the announcement. We're going to patch you through to Gladys Bernstein, one of the senior council members who will be making the announcement."

There was an incredibly long pause, in which every one held their breath. Harry had never witnessed Fred and George stay in one spot, not to mention say nothing for that long. They seemed as anxious as the rest of them.

"The High Council of the Ministry wishes to offer its congratulations to the new Minister for Magic," Gladys's voice began. "We welcome Arthur Weasley as Britain's new Minister of Magic."

Mrs. Weasley was the first of them to react. If she had been a bundle of nerves before it was nothing compared to the state she was in now. Through her tears of joy she found the closest person next to her and began hugging them senseless. That person turned out to be Lupin, who was quite caught off guard and rather embarrassed at Mrs. Weasley's actions.

Fred and George whooped in triumph before their mother released Lupin and got a hold of them.

Caught up in the excitement, Ron seemed to forget about every one else in the room and leaned over to kiss Hermione. When he pulled back, he realized with horror what he had done. There was still the off chance that no one had noticed, but when he saw the twins gaping at him and his mother's shocked expression he knew he had been caught.

"You two are – you're – " Fred couldn't seem to get the words out. "You are!"

Ron wasn't in the state of mind to deny it, and not that it would have done much good. He didn't need to look at Hermione to see she was just as embarrassed. He knew the twins weren't going to let them out of this easily.

"I should have known!" George exclaimed. "How long?" He asked them.

"Since before Christmas," Ginny said in the place of Ron.

The twins eyes all but bulged out of their respective sockets. "This whole bloody time?" Fred cried. "You two have been sneaking around since then?"

"We weren't sneaking around," Ron snapped, finding himself suddenly angry that Fred was implying their relationship was some kind of illicit affair.

"You knew?" George said to Ginny. Then he looked at Harry who appeared as un-shocked by the news as his sister. "Did every one know but us?"

"I certainly didn't know," said Mrs. Weasley.

Ron wasn't sure why he was expecting some kind of reproachful look from his mother, but she must have still been caught up in the excitement because it never came. She turned to Lupin and said, "did you know about this, Remus?"

"Well, I had my suspicions," Lupin carefully lied.

Fred slapped George hard on the shoulder. "Oi! You owe me. Pay up mate,"

"You had a bet on us getting together?" Hermione said, not really sure why that news surprised her.

"Just a small one," Fred said innocently. "George bet me you wouldn't get together until after graduation and I said before the end of sixth year."

"Technically, with Hogwarts closed they won't finish sixth year, so this bet isn't really valid anymore," George said.

"It is so!" Fred protested.

While the twins argued over whether or not their bet was still valid, Ron seemed to forget his embarrassment for the time being to tell them off for betting on their relationship in the first place.

Ginny leaned over and whispered to Harry, "their little bet should be the least of Ron's worries."

Harry understood her meaning exactly. The twins would have months of teasing to make up for. While the celebrating continued around Lupin's, he had the feeling the twins would be stopping by a lot more now.