Boogle: Okay, another chappie! If it's crap tell me it's crap, I can take it! Just tell me - just say 'it's crap'. I won't care!
Random reviewer: It's crap
Boogle: Oh god! Why do I even bother! I STINK!
runs off in a hysterical fit of crying and sobbing and chucking heavy objects across the room, vowing never to write another word again, so long as she lives
Yeah… that is so not going to happen, so review, say whatever you think!
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Kryten sat in Blue midget and sobbed. "Oh it's all my fault, Mr Cat sir!" he grabbed Lister's yellow socks and blew his nose, "If I hadn't have gotten all smashed up he wouldn't have gone outside! I'm so darn selfish! It's just me me me all the time! I should have stopped and thought for a second. Poor Mr Lister!"
Cat was taking this pretty hard too, "I can't believe it…" he wiped his eyes, "I'll never get to sort my hair out! And my suits - What about my suits!"
Holly's head fizzled onto the monitor, "Can I interrupt for a moment dudes?"
Kryten burst into tears, sobbing hysterically, "I- I- I- I- I-"
She swished her blonde locks back, with a sigh, "I fixed blue midget's engine a while ago. So whenever you want to take off, just let me know"
"What?"
"You fixed blue midget and you didn't mention it?" Cat said, "Again?"
Holly smiled, "Naa…"
"You mean I could've got my hair mousse back ages ago? Do you have a heart at all?"
"No - I am a computer you know."
Cat ignored her, "Look at me, I'm a wreck! I'm without my usual sleek silky locks, my ass hasn't seen a new suit for so long it's lost the will to live, and I'm starting to think that cargo pants might not look so bad!"
"Well…" said holly with her annoying smile, "it's a bit of fun ain't it?"
…………..
Blue midget docked red dwarf faster than Cat when he sees an attractive female. And for those who don't know, that's fast!
………….
Cat and Kryten ran down the corridor, bazookoids blazing. Cat was wearing a stylish black and yellow number he had found quickly onboard. Smeg knows how! Knowing him it was probably from a secret stash. No hair mousse as of yet, but now that his ass was happy he felt much better. Kryten was looking rather agitated.
"This is ridiculous sir! You know I can't kill!"
Cat smiled, white teeth catching the light, "Yeah, but hell do we look good!"
Kryten sighed dramatically, "We don't even know where they are being held, it could be miles away!"
Cat stopped for a moment, sniffing the air thoughtfully, "You know - it's strange... i can smell something..."
…….
"We're going to have to kill you." The thing's voice was layered with sweetness, dribbled with honey.
Rimmer made a nervous sound in his throat, "O- okay, but kill him first, he- he probably tastes better than me - I'd be all squishy and tasteless and awful and grimy – and - and besides I'd hate for Listy to see me suffer."
Lister was way past scared. He was rocking backwards and forwards eyes wide. Rimmer looked at him, almost in pity; he had pulled his knees up to his chin and was clasping his legs.
A creature moved forward, "We'd rather suck you dry first."
Rimmer thought about this, "Oh." he said.
One creature extended a fluffy limb, gripping Rimmer's light bee with a soft hand. The pain that followed was like none that Rimmer had ever experienced. And smeg did it hurt! It was like your life, your very existence was being sucked out of you. Like something was battering at your soul with heavy iron fists. Like you were being tied, upside down, to a manic tree, set alight and chopped down with a chainsaw, then fired up into space and blown to smithereens.
And Lister went through this?
Strangely, the only thing Lister could compare it to, was half an hour of sitting through Rimmer's collection of Hammond organ music.
………….
"What? What can you smell sir?"
"I smell..." Cat paused, narrowing his eyes, "I smell barbeque sauce."
………….
...
yawn review, I get very bored.
