"Kamui? KAMUI! GET UP!"

Something hit said Kamui in the head, and he shot up out of bed immediately, if immediately truly meant "very slowly".

Which it did, at the moment, it did.

So something else hit him in the head while he was doing that. He blinked, waited for his eyes to clear, and stared.

His shoes were lying two inches from his face, laces untied. Hm.

"Kamui!" Kaori was red-faced and getting ready to throw the next nearest heavy object (it was a very large mixer from the kitchen, just in case you were wondering) when Kamui finally retaliated with a wimpy fling of a sock in her general direction.

Flop. It landed in the bedroom doorway, lifeless (obviously).

Kaori stared at it, temporarily silenced.

Taking this opportunity to refocus, Kamui followed an imaginary line with his eyes (it reached around the room, kind of settled on his sister's chest area, removed itself, found a spider to follow, and then immediately - in which case this meant fast - wrenched itself away to finally circle a fuzzy digital clock with the name Fuuma written all over it in pink neon marker), then stared again.

Seven-fifty-five. Hm. Seven-fifty-six.

"Seven-fifty-six!"

So it was no surprise that Kamui was running late again; Kaori had been chunking things at him as a last resort, but finally gave up after she realized that under no circumstances was she going to make herself late trying to get him up, after all.

He found himself, as usual, sprinting down the street, a piece of toast stuck in between his teeth, and vaguely wondering why there was girl carrying a white rabbit and a timepiece running after him.

He had to shove a bunch of kids out of the way from their daily torturing of a deformed cat to make it, but he made it on time.

And the rest of his day was pretty much the same, since it started the same way. Go to school, glare at kids, gloom and doom and watching while Fuuma (from before, on the clock) practiced his handwriting all over his notebook with his favorite pen, and getting yelled at for eating, and more doom and gloom -

But what Kamui didn't really get was when the deformed cat from down the street showed up and started talking to him on the way home, so he sent her over to his sister's room and went back to doom and gloom and homework (or, not-homework, as Kamui didn't really feel that doing homework would help him when the world finally ended).

There was a knock on his door close to ten o'clock, but Kaori always came in anyway, so he let her do it.

"Kamui, this cat's yours. Says something about you being some justice fighter, or something, and a magic pen." She dropped the black feline onto his bed and disappeared before he could complain about allergies or something like that. Everyone knew he didn't have allergies, or catch colds, or retained ugly scars, only the pretty scars tended to stay on Kamui. Odd, that.

He pretended to read his book and chewed on his pencil. Kaori didn't buy it, but she wasn't her brother's keeper, anyway.

"You should stop feeding it weed. It thinks you're going to save the world."

The door closed, and Kamui stared at the cat.

The cat stared right back. It's deformed little X-mark (conveniently located in the center of its forehead) glowed an eerie red (it was glowing, that was what made it eerie), but other than that, it merely annoyed Kamui.

Then the cat spoke, but he wasn't really surprised; he'd heard the speech before.

"Look, can you just do whatever it is you came to do and go away?" Kamui cut the cat off before it had a chance to finish "You". He felt no need to elaborate, but if he had, it would have been along the lines of "You're creeping me out."

Pause. Finally, the cat gave a little sigh, and lunged for his neck.

CHOMP.

"THE HELL - !" He started, but then everything turned pink, then purple, then sparkly, then finally, cleared into a wondrous haze that was not really drug-induced (though it very well could have been, the cat may have been laced).

With Kamui sufficiently distracted by the haze, the cat finally got her speech time.

"You are Sailor Moon, the champion of justice. I'm Hokuto, and I'm your guardian cat. I'm here to guide you, so you can find the Moon Crystal, and defeat the forces of darkness."

Hokuto spoke quickly in order to prevent a repeat of what had happened earlier, which involved Kamui throwing her out into the garbage. Well, to do that, and to keep him from looking down, which would probably also result in her being thrown out in the trash, something she was not looking forward to -

Shit. He looked down.

"... THE FUCK!"

end part one


title: in the wrong direction
part: one of an indeterminate total
by: tyrnej
series: x (main), sm (fuse)
disclaimer: written by a fan, for fans only. more specifically, for Elf Asato, but it's all good for anyone, anyway
note: I'm sorry. First foray into both fandoms, I'm betting, barring the little drabble I've yet to post here (may just add it as an intermission in this fic). This being supposedly a multiparter, it may take a hella long time. I'm sorry, again.