Notes: Cowritten with CCS AnGeL00. Kindasorta Neji/Tenten. Short chapter, but the next one should make up for its length. I'll post that in a few days when I have time.
Part Two: Little Laughing GodsIt hurt to breathe, blink, think, and sometimes. . . oh hell, she just hurt. She had been training with Neji for a week, and it was quite possibly the most hellish week she had ever experienced. "Dating" Neji was hell. There was no other way to describe it.
After pelting Neji with no less than three hundred sharp pointy objects, she decided it was time to declare mutiny. "Neji, I'm hungry," she said, collapsing. Her bangs clung to her forehead, and her eyes stung from sweat.
"Food is for the weak." Was that his idea of a joke? It was so funny she forgot to laugh.
She struggled to sit up, her ribs crying out in pain. "Neji, I'm not moving another inch unless I get food."
Neji eyed her carefully, leaning his back against a tree. "Tenten, I want to tell you something."
Tenten finally sat up and started picking stray leaves out of her hair. "Unless it's the number to a restaurant I really don't feel like hearing it."
"I want to show you the Byakugan's weak spot."
From behind a bush, Lee and Gai gasped and then covered each other's mouths. Neji's weak spot? He was openly showing it to—GASP! This meant—
Unfortunately, Tenten wasn't paying attention. ". . .yeah, great. So food?" She finally managed to stand up. She began to brush herself off very slowly until she became aware of Neji's gaze. She gulped. Then, for some reason unbeknownst to her, he clenched his bandaged hand, his dark brows dipped dangerously low, and his pale eyes looked rather murderous. Oh shit. What had she done?
Gai nodded from his hiding spot. Neji had proclaimed his love. It would only be a matter of time now. He then frowned, lost in thought. Tenten was apparently suicidal. No matter; love would fix this. Ahh, youth.
Lee, on the other hand, was not so thrilled. He curled up into a ball of sadness from behind the bush. "He was going to show her his weak spot!" he jumped out before Gai could stop him. "NEJI GOT A GIRLFRIEND BEFORE I DID!" he wailed, the tears streaming down his face.
"I am not Neji's girlfriend!" as soon as the words left her mouth, she knew that she was screwed.
". . ." said Neji.
Oh shit. She was really screwed.
Without another word, he turned on his heel and left. She counted up to twenty-three before she heard the first explosion. She sighed. "I better go after him."
"Thank you for your sacrifice, Tenten-sama!" Lee bowed to her.
"Shut up, Lee. Just shut up," she left Lee and Gai to themselves in pursuit of Neji. She really hoped she caught him before he started exploding things that weren't buildings. Like people. Oh shit, how was she going to apologize?
She walked through the village, shocked to find the ramen shop (among other things) nearly totalled. AGAIN.
"Oi. . .can't you just tell him you love him too?" a haggard looking Shikamaru greeted her. Pieces of hair escaped his ponytail; he was currently missing his right earring. The left pant leg looked as though someone or something had been gnawing on it. "I can't take much more of this. This situation has gone beyond troublesome," he gestured toward the brand new hole in the fence. It was larger than last time. The deer were also missing. Again. "This is just pissing me off now."
Tenten crossed her arms over her chest. "He offered to show me Byakugan's blind spot, Shikamaru-kun. What does that have to do with LOVE?" She bent down and pulled one deer back to the Nara residence using her chakra strings. "And how did you know about that anyway?"
Shikamaru leaned against the shaky fence, making an annoyed sound as he gazed up at the clouds. He could still hear his harpy mother's voice ringing in his ears. He tried to explain it wasn't his fault the damn deer escaped but nooo—"No offence, Tenten, but this is Hyuuga Neji we're talking about here. Showing you his weakness is practically a marriage proposal."
Oh shit. "Are you sure that was a declaration of love?"
He dragged a tiny deer away from the broken ramen stand and promptly put it back in the pen. "Tenten, this is Neji; no one else affects him in the same way."
"HIS FAMILY!" she argued. Why did no one understand this?
Shikamaru nodded. "True that. Shit. . . this is way too troublesome. Why do I have to do all this work? And why the hell is it always my house that gets ruined by Neji's hissy fits?"
"Oh, he's still secretly bitter you're a chuunin," she pointed out and gazed at the ramen shop. "And that's Naruto-kun's favourite place to eat. He's probably still pissed off that Naruto beat him in a fight. Which reminds me. . . why didn't you try and stop him from making the hole in the fence?"
He looked at her like she was insane. "I'm too much of a coward. Normal Neji could kick my ass in his sleep. Deal with a rejected Neji? Hell no." Shikamaru smacked himself in the forehead as one of the deer gnawed on a terrified little kid's hair. "I have to go get these damn deer back before my mom bursts a blood vessel. Later."
"Wait, Shikamaru-kun! I need more smart boy insight!" she called after him, though he was long gone. Damn. She was so screwed.
-
Dammit. It was trees again. She counted and groaned. At this rate, Konoha would become a desert, and it'd be all her fault. After all, Neji had only felled about three hundred some odd trees in the last week alone.
"A desert sounds nice. It'd be a change of scenery. I can beg Tsunade-sama for a pass, move to the Sand village, change my name, dye my hair and maybe even cut it," she muttered, rubbing her head. "Hell, I can get back at that peroxide bitch for kickin—"
"I like your hair."
She nearly jumped out of her skin. "Neji, you SCARED me," she squeaked. The Hyuuga prodigy leaned against a tree (she noticed it was the only one left standing within a hundred foot radius).
"What are you doing here?" His voice was cold and sent shivers down her spine. She gulped. The mountains would be nice at this time of the year, right?
"I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me tomorrow night," she said, trying to be perky. Yes, perky was good. Perky was safe. "And I wanted to apologize for earlier," she added hastily before he could open his mouth. Food is not for the weak, she chanted mentally. "I was just worn out."
"I'm having dinner with my family tomorrow."
She was very careful not to look so hopeful. "So does that mean we don't train tomorrow?" Someone up there must really love her today.
"We'll train in the morning instead. Meet me at sunrise."
Then again, the little gods had their sick little jokes too.
-
"Stand up Tenten."
"I can't," she groaned, levering herself up to her elbows. Her arm slipped on the wet leaves, and she fell back down. The ground was nice and soft. A little mushy, and a little wet, but who was she to complain? Then again, maybe she should just go back to bed. "It's raining, Neji, and it's far too early for anyone to be up. Can't we postpone this to tomorrow?"
"A ninja must be prepared to fight in any element," he recited tonelessly, watching her with an impassive expression.
"Yeah, well screw you too," she muttered, flicking a kunai in his general direction. He caught it easily.
"Your aim is off. You need to build your stamina," he remarked, tossing the sharp object back to her. She barely managed to catch it.
"I'm tired. I've been up since before dawn, and I haven't even had breakfast yet," she said, painfully crawling to her feet. "Not to mention that it's pouring and I've had less than five hours of sleep. Can't we continue this after your dinner tonight?"
He paused. "No. Dinner will take too long."
She suppressed a sigh of relief. It looked like he was actually going to be reasonable today. Maybe he wanted to go back to bed too.
"My uncle wants to meet you."
What was she saying? Hyuuga Neji was never reasonable.
"WHAT!"
"We have dinner at eight. It'll be a formal affair."
". . .I don't have anything to wear!"
"Go out and buy something." Oh sure, she could so afford an outfit that wouldn't put her to shame in the Hyuuga household. What the hell was Neji thinking?
"You haven't even KISSED ME YET," she screeched. Thunder rumbled in counterpoint to her hysteria.
He raised an eyebrow. "What does that have to do with anything?"
". . ." She couldn't take it anymore. She didn't CARE if he razed Konoha to the ground. She didn't CARE if she ended up on Konoha's Most Wanted List, and she most certainly didn't give two SHITS about living in the mountains with the pervert anymore. "And don't give me that," she snapped. "You usually tell the girl that you LIKE HER and stuff like that BEFORE you introduce her to your family."
"Stuff like that?"
"Oh, I don't know. Most guys HOLD THEIR GIRLFRIEND'S HAND, or WHISPER SWEET ENDEARMENTS IN HER EAR, or even," and her voice took on a noticeably shrill note, "BUY HER A FRIGGIN' BOX OF CHOCOLATES!" Shit. She was really losing it.
"And FLOWERS AREN'T THAT DIFFICULT ARE THEY? THEY GROW ALL AROUND THE FRIGGIN' PLACE! Oh, wait, EXCUSE ME! I forgot that flowers are an ENDANGERED SPECIES around here since you've decided to become the lumberjack from HELL!"
"Don't you '. . .' at me, Hyuuga Neji."
"I said I liked your hair."
That was his idea of romance?And was he sulking? "Look," she took a deep breath. Calm Tenten; what would Tsunade-sama do? "I need a day off, okay? Just one day? My parents have been wondering where I've been lately."
"Parents. . ."
Oh shit. She forgot about his angst. He had no dad. Right. Shit shit shit. Tsunade-sama would probably knock him out with her pinky. Unfortunately, she didn't have that option. "I'm tired. Just forget what I said."
"I'll see you at eight then."
She watched him disappear before slumping against a tree. A squirrel looked out of his hiding hole to peer at her. Was the little rodent chittering at her? This wasn't happening, she thought wildly. She buried her face into her hands.
"Why?" she sobbed. "Why me?"
The squirrel continued to chitter. The little gods were definitely laughing at her. Definitely.