Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings nor do I own any of the
characters. I'm merely playing with them a little. Not for any money, mind
you.
Author's note: I'm awed by all of your feedback and I have to thank you for it. Without you I would never get inspired enough to write on!
Drowning
With hindsight it would be impossible for him to tell how much time had passed since he was standing motionlessly on the same spot, starring after the figure that had long vanished into the maze of the woods. A shape that was so similar to his own, a shape that was identical to his own although it couldn't be his. For a moment he wondered if he had a twin brother but hadn't been trusted with this information. Then he dismissed this preposterous thought. Even if there was any way for him to have a twin - which there was not - it would be unnatural for his brother to look exactly like himself. The very same hair, still slightly ruffled from the weather, the left braid loosening. The very same eyes, full of expierience and wisdom. No, whoever this figure was, it was definitely not his brother.
At one time or another the unmistakable noise of a cracking twig broke the spell and Legolas tensed and spun around, scolding himself for not bringing his weapons with him.
The ranger stood leaning against a nearby tree, two pieces of a thin branch in one of his hands. When he noticed that the Elf finally paid attention to him he threw the dead wood on the ground and looked at him in a way that Legolas found unable to identify.
"How long have you been standing there," he asked finally.
The man crossed his arms in front of his chest and strode forward until both were within arm's reach. "Long enough. Ten minutes maybe?"
"Ten minutes!" the Elf repeated, aghast. Ten minutes and he hadn't become aware of it. The human stood behind him for the whole of ten minutes and his senses hadn't warned him in the least.
"What ails you, my friend?" He lifted his hand in a repelling gesture when Legolas opened his mouth to protest. "Do not even try to tell me that everything is fine when obviously it is not. After your patrol last night you do not seem the same anymore. Now tell me what happened out there."
Before the proud Elf could answer Aragorn spoke again. "And please do not leave out why you were starring into the bushes just now."
Legolas couldn't suppress a whiff of anger and his eyes narrowed dangerously. "Do not speak to me in such a manner, Strider. I am no child for you to scold."
Aragorn threw his hands up. "Then don't behave like one, Legolas!" he said frustrated. Immediately his features softened again and he lowered his hands.
"'Tis worry for you that hardens my tone of voice, mellon nin. You are not quite yourself lately and I wish to help you. But I won't be able to do so if you do not speak to me! Unfortunately I do not possess Lady Galadriel's skills." He smiled weakly at his attempt to lighten up the mood.
"Forgive me, Aragorn. I am weary and tense and I should not make you suffer for it," the Elf said, his voice softening as well.
The human nodded, his face so sincere and loving it almost made Legolas weep. All he wished to do was to lean forward and capture the man's lips in a gentle kiss. Why was fate so unfair? As if it wasn't enough for him to love a mortal, who would take his immortality with him when he died. No, the mortal that he helplessly and utterly fell in love with had to be betrothed, to the most beautiful of his kind none the less. In this man lay his only chance for happiness and yet he wasn't allowed to even get a glimpse of it. He could only watch from afar as his life perished with the passing age of the human.
Bitterly he turned his head away. "Aragorn..."
The ranger looked at him alarmed, confusion at this sudden mood swing clearly in his grey eyes. The course of this conversation was certainly not following the way he had hoped and imagined.
When the Elf locked gaze with him again he already dreaded what he was about to say.
"Aragorn, I will travell to Rivendell alone from here on. Forgive me, but I need to come to terms with myself again for I fear I am loosing my grip on reality with every minute that goes by. Deliver the Hobbits my humblest regrets to leave them all of a sudden but tell them I will be more than happy to see them in two days at most, then hopefully with a lighter heart." Determination was evident in the Elf's eyes.
"What about your weapons, Legolas? Will you leave them here?" Isildur's heir tried reasonably. For a minute the Elf seemed to ponder, then he shook his head.
"Please take them with you. I will manage without them." He said at last.
"Legolas, this is folly!" The human argued, his patience finally wearing thin. He grabbed Legolas wist and pulled him closer forcefully. The Elf cried out in surprise.
"Aragorn, let me go!" Mirkwood's prince yelled, struggling against the painful grip.
"Not unless you come to your senses again!" The human countered loudly.
"Damn it, Aragorn, let go!" Legolas was starting to get really frustrated. His eyes flashed when he used his free hand to open the firm grip. "Aragorn you are really testing my nerves right now. Let go. Now." He hissed dangerously, but the man had other plans.
And before Legolas knew what happened he found himself lying on the cold ground below, a sharp pain forming in his cheek.
Wordlessly he lifted his hand to his face, tracing the burning flesh lightly with his fingertips. Then he looked up at the man, his eyes wide and uncomprehending. The ranger's hand was still raised, his mouth open in silent surprise at what he had done, at what he had dared to do.
"Legolas, I...."
The prince began to tremble uncontrollably. "Nay, do not say it," he mumbled, sounding so forlorn and lost. Aragorn made a move to help his friend up again and Legolas looked at the offered hand almost astonished.
"Legolas, I don't know what to say, I..."
The Elf ignored the man and shakily stood up on his own accord. "Do not say anything," he interrupted the ranger. Never in his life had he felt so utterly alone and shaken. And he did not know how to cope with it. As if his heart was shattering into thousand pieces, so tiny, so little that he didn't even hope to recollect all those broken shards to fix it back together again.
`My heart is beyond repair` he thought calmly, with such an absolute certainty that it was frightening in itself.
He took a step back, then another. Before he could analyse what he was doing he had turned around and run. Where to he had no idea. As long as it was as far away from this place as possible. In the distance he could hear someone screaming his name and loud footsteps that were following him. But he didn't stop, couldn't stop, just run. And finally after some minutes they died away, leaving him to the rushing trees and the silence in his mind. Legolas knew that the complete stillness could only be the calm before the storm. And the storm would come. Would come with such an onslaught that he wasn't sure he could take it. He could fight a battle against a superiority of Orcs and enemies but he wasn't prepared to fight a battle within himself.
And so he ran, trying to escape what he knew would come. He knew he only postponed the inevitable, but if that would allow him some more minutes before he had to face it, so be it.
And somewhere between now and then his lungs screamed for breath. His throat burned with the immense burden. His heart pounded mercilessly in his chest and then finally contradicted so painfully that his vision swam and blackened. Still he ran, trying to ignore the fire that pulsated through his veins. The birds had ceased their singing, the trees stopped talking. His opened his mouth in a silent plea. For them to continue their whispering or for him to start breathing again, he didn't know.
And then his legs gave in and he came crashing down with full force. Unconsciously he tried to intercept his fall with his right hand to guard his face from the impact and then quickly swallowed a scream of agony when he felt his wrist dislocate.
He closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing regularly again, when he heard someone approach him.
`Aragorn,` he thought immediately, his mind still unsettled and confused. Then the person laughed softly and Legolas felt his whole body tensing.
"So much for the Elven grace," the familiar voice snorted.
Legolas struggled to move, but his body defied his wish. Finally the figure seized his injured wrist and turned him around forcefully. This time Legolas wasn't able to bit back a strangled gasp. His world whirled and rotated, a strange red haze swallowed all contours and shapes.
"And so much for your pride, mighty prince," his image taunted. Although Legolas was able to make out the piercing blue eyes and the light blond hair he couldn't recognize the traits of the person for it swam in and out of focus all along. He weakly turned his head to one side and closed his eyes again. His heart hurt, sweet Valar, his heart hurt so much.
"Look at me when I am talking to you," the voice spat and he felt his chin being lifted up once more. Still he couldn't help it, his grip on reality was slowly fading into thankful unconsciousness.
"Do you want me to slap you awake like your desirable lover did?" The figure said with a definitely dangerous edge, effectively fuelling the pain and anger in Mirkwood's youngest. He opened his lids with great effort.
"Now that's much better. Seems like there is some fire left in you after all."
Legolas tried to sharpen his vision but failed. He then took a breath and looked up to where he imagined the other's eyes to be.
"Who are you," he croaked hoarsely at last.
The person laughted heartily at that. "Who I am?" he repeated in his haunting tone. "A little slow on the uptake currently, aren't we, dearest prince." Then he paused as if wondering if he should answer at all. Finally he moved closer and nibbled on the Elf's ear lightly, overjoyed to see the prince flinch.
"I am you."
Shock suffused Legolas' face.
"Liar!" he whispered harshly, although his voice didn't sound as firm as he would have wanted it to be.
"Such naivity." His mirror laughed, then leaned down to place a light kiss on the Elf's cheek. Legolas began to struggle again and the figure released its grip on his chin and enclosed his throat tightly, strangulating his air supply.
Legolas raised his heavy arms and feebly tried to loosen the iron grip which made his head spin. The red haze condensed.
He opened his mouth to say something but no words would come out.
The other smiled at the silent - and surely unintentional - invitation and sealed Legolas' lips with his own, slipping his tongue into the Elf's mouth.
For an instant the pull on his arm became stronger, nevertheless he could only smile at his captive's attempt.
"You fight like a little child, my prince. I expected better of you." He hesitated a moment, then added: "You are me after all."
The grip on Legolas' throat became stronger and the Elf's eyes fluttered. The figure placed a final kiss on his lips.
"Sleep now," he teased.
And finally the redemptive darkness came.
*
*
*
___________________________________________________
Legolas19: Well, at least I gave away (some of) the stranger's identity now. I hope it isn't that strange anymore. Or at least I hope it's a good kind of strange ;)
Gwyn: I like Elrohir/Legolas stories as well, but then where would all the Elf torture remain? *eg
The little: You're right that's exactly where I want you *lol* You're cruel, you know that? Why not let Legolas enjoy the little salvation he gets from his dreams, he will be tortured enough throughout the story after all
Anon-101-6: Does he suffer enough in your opinion? ;) Well don't worry I have hardly even begun.
Jade Stellar: Here's at least a small piece of an answer as to who the mirror image is. Hope you like it ;)
Tamara: Thank you. Here's your update. I hope it fullfills your expectations.
Rabbit of Iron: Exactly. That's why poor Legolas has to suffer so much. ;)
Goldmund: I just had to put your twin idea into my fiction, thanks for the hint ;) But no, it's not his evil twin. You must be one of the few who actually caught the fact that the figure is able to invade Legolas' dreams. Well, Aragorn does get concerned, believe me *harrharr* He will get all reason to get concerned
MoroTheWolfGod: *lol* Your review was short and to the point ;)
*Nikki*: No Aragorn/Legolas loving as of yet, I'm sorry. But I hope you still like the chapter ;)
Zelda Saturn Mistress: You ask me to continue? You ask, I'll do of course. Here it is ^_^
DewTouchedRoses: I hope this was soon enough ^_^
Mrs.Sparrow: Thank you! I hope it fullfills your expectations
Z: Well here's the third chapter ;) There will come more of them, don't worry. Seems like this story will be quite long.
Sarah Winters: Thank you. I hope you still like it ;)
Bruised Lady: Of course, if you ask so nicely ;) Here it is
Author's note: I'm awed by all of your feedback and I have to thank you for it. Without you I would never get inspired enough to write on!
Drowning
With hindsight it would be impossible for him to tell how much time had passed since he was standing motionlessly on the same spot, starring after the figure that had long vanished into the maze of the woods. A shape that was so similar to his own, a shape that was identical to his own although it couldn't be his. For a moment he wondered if he had a twin brother but hadn't been trusted with this information. Then he dismissed this preposterous thought. Even if there was any way for him to have a twin - which there was not - it would be unnatural for his brother to look exactly like himself. The very same hair, still slightly ruffled from the weather, the left braid loosening. The very same eyes, full of expierience and wisdom. No, whoever this figure was, it was definitely not his brother.
At one time or another the unmistakable noise of a cracking twig broke the spell and Legolas tensed and spun around, scolding himself for not bringing his weapons with him.
The ranger stood leaning against a nearby tree, two pieces of a thin branch in one of his hands. When he noticed that the Elf finally paid attention to him he threw the dead wood on the ground and looked at him in a way that Legolas found unable to identify.
"How long have you been standing there," he asked finally.
The man crossed his arms in front of his chest and strode forward until both were within arm's reach. "Long enough. Ten minutes maybe?"
"Ten minutes!" the Elf repeated, aghast. Ten minutes and he hadn't become aware of it. The human stood behind him for the whole of ten minutes and his senses hadn't warned him in the least.
"What ails you, my friend?" He lifted his hand in a repelling gesture when Legolas opened his mouth to protest. "Do not even try to tell me that everything is fine when obviously it is not. After your patrol last night you do not seem the same anymore. Now tell me what happened out there."
Before the proud Elf could answer Aragorn spoke again. "And please do not leave out why you were starring into the bushes just now."
Legolas couldn't suppress a whiff of anger and his eyes narrowed dangerously. "Do not speak to me in such a manner, Strider. I am no child for you to scold."
Aragorn threw his hands up. "Then don't behave like one, Legolas!" he said frustrated. Immediately his features softened again and he lowered his hands.
"'Tis worry for you that hardens my tone of voice, mellon nin. You are not quite yourself lately and I wish to help you. But I won't be able to do so if you do not speak to me! Unfortunately I do not possess Lady Galadriel's skills." He smiled weakly at his attempt to lighten up the mood.
"Forgive me, Aragorn. I am weary and tense and I should not make you suffer for it," the Elf said, his voice softening as well.
The human nodded, his face so sincere and loving it almost made Legolas weep. All he wished to do was to lean forward and capture the man's lips in a gentle kiss. Why was fate so unfair? As if it wasn't enough for him to love a mortal, who would take his immortality with him when he died. No, the mortal that he helplessly and utterly fell in love with had to be betrothed, to the most beautiful of his kind none the less. In this man lay his only chance for happiness and yet he wasn't allowed to even get a glimpse of it. He could only watch from afar as his life perished with the passing age of the human.
Bitterly he turned his head away. "Aragorn..."
The ranger looked at him alarmed, confusion at this sudden mood swing clearly in his grey eyes. The course of this conversation was certainly not following the way he had hoped and imagined.
When the Elf locked gaze with him again he already dreaded what he was about to say.
"Aragorn, I will travell to Rivendell alone from here on. Forgive me, but I need to come to terms with myself again for I fear I am loosing my grip on reality with every minute that goes by. Deliver the Hobbits my humblest regrets to leave them all of a sudden but tell them I will be more than happy to see them in two days at most, then hopefully with a lighter heart." Determination was evident in the Elf's eyes.
"What about your weapons, Legolas? Will you leave them here?" Isildur's heir tried reasonably. For a minute the Elf seemed to ponder, then he shook his head.
"Please take them with you. I will manage without them." He said at last.
"Legolas, this is folly!" The human argued, his patience finally wearing thin. He grabbed Legolas wist and pulled him closer forcefully. The Elf cried out in surprise.
"Aragorn, let me go!" Mirkwood's prince yelled, struggling against the painful grip.
"Not unless you come to your senses again!" The human countered loudly.
"Damn it, Aragorn, let go!" Legolas was starting to get really frustrated. His eyes flashed when he used his free hand to open the firm grip. "Aragorn you are really testing my nerves right now. Let go. Now." He hissed dangerously, but the man had other plans.
And before Legolas knew what happened he found himself lying on the cold ground below, a sharp pain forming in his cheek.
Wordlessly he lifted his hand to his face, tracing the burning flesh lightly with his fingertips. Then he looked up at the man, his eyes wide and uncomprehending. The ranger's hand was still raised, his mouth open in silent surprise at what he had done, at what he had dared to do.
"Legolas, I...."
The prince began to tremble uncontrollably. "Nay, do not say it," he mumbled, sounding so forlorn and lost. Aragorn made a move to help his friend up again and Legolas looked at the offered hand almost astonished.
"Legolas, I don't know what to say, I..."
The Elf ignored the man and shakily stood up on his own accord. "Do not say anything," he interrupted the ranger. Never in his life had he felt so utterly alone and shaken. And he did not know how to cope with it. As if his heart was shattering into thousand pieces, so tiny, so little that he didn't even hope to recollect all those broken shards to fix it back together again.
`My heart is beyond repair` he thought calmly, with such an absolute certainty that it was frightening in itself.
He took a step back, then another. Before he could analyse what he was doing he had turned around and run. Where to he had no idea. As long as it was as far away from this place as possible. In the distance he could hear someone screaming his name and loud footsteps that were following him. But he didn't stop, couldn't stop, just run. And finally after some minutes they died away, leaving him to the rushing trees and the silence in his mind. Legolas knew that the complete stillness could only be the calm before the storm. And the storm would come. Would come with such an onslaught that he wasn't sure he could take it. He could fight a battle against a superiority of Orcs and enemies but he wasn't prepared to fight a battle within himself.
And so he ran, trying to escape what he knew would come. He knew he only postponed the inevitable, but if that would allow him some more minutes before he had to face it, so be it.
And somewhere between now and then his lungs screamed for breath. His throat burned with the immense burden. His heart pounded mercilessly in his chest and then finally contradicted so painfully that his vision swam and blackened. Still he ran, trying to ignore the fire that pulsated through his veins. The birds had ceased their singing, the trees stopped talking. His opened his mouth in a silent plea. For them to continue their whispering or for him to start breathing again, he didn't know.
And then his legs gave in and he came crashing down with full force. Unconsciously he tried to intercept his fall with his right hand to guard his face from the impact and then quickly swallowed a scream of agony when he felt his wrist dislocate.
He closed his eyes and concentrated on breathing regularly again, when he heard someone approach him.
`Aragorn,` he thought immediately, his mind still unsettled and confused. Then the person laughed softly and Legolas felt his whole body tensing.
"So much for the Elven grace," the familiar voice snorted.
Legolas struggled to move, but his body defied his wish. Finally the figure seized his injured wrist and turned him around forcefully. This time Legolas wasn't able to bit back a strangled gasp. His world whirled and rotated, a strange red haze swallowed all contours and shapes.
"And so much for your pride, mighty prince," his image taunted. Although Legolas was able to make out the piercing blue eyes and the light blond hair he couldn't recognize the traits of the person for it swam in and out of focus all along. He weakly turned his head to one side and closed his eyes again. His heart hurt, sweet Valar, his heart hurt so much.
"Look at me when I am talking to you," the voice spat and he felt his chin being lifted up once more. Still he couldn't help it, his grip on reality was slowly fading into thankful unconsciousness.
"Do you want me to slap you awake like your desirable lover did?" The figure said with a definitely dangerous edge, effectively fuelling the pain and anger in Mirkwood's youngest. He opened his lids with great effort.
"Now that's much better. Seems like there is some fire left in you after all."
Legolas tried to sharpen his vision but failed. He then took a breath and looked up to where he imagined the other's eyes to be.
"Who are you," he croaked hoarsely at last.
The person laughted heartily at that. "Who I am?" he repeated in his haunting tone. "A little slow on the uptake currently, aren't we, dearest prince." Then he paused as if wondering if he should answer at all. Finally he moved closer and nibbled on the Elf's ear lightly, overjoyed to see the prince flinch.
"I am you."
Shock suffused Legolas' face.
"Liar!" he whispered harshly, although his voice didn't sound as firm as he would have wanted it to be.
"Such naivity." His mirror laughed, then leaned down to place a light kiss on the Elf's cheek. Legolas began to struggle again and the figure released its grip on his chin and enclosed his throat tightly, strangulating his air supply.
Legolas raised his heavy arms and feebly tried to loosen the iron grip which made his head spin. The red haze condensed.
He opened his mouth to say something but no words would come out.
The other smiled at the silent - and surely unintentional - invitation and sealed Legolas' lips with his own, slipping his tongue into the Elf's mouth.
For an instant the pull on his arm became stronger, nevertheless he could only smile at his captive's attempt.
"You fight like a little child, my prince. I expected better of you." He hesitated a moment, then added: "You are me after all."
The grip on Legolas' throat became stronger and the Elf's eyes fluttered. The figure placed a final kiss on his lips.
"Sleep now," he teased.
And finally the redemptive darkness came.
*
*
*
___________________________________________________
Legolas19: Well, at least I gave away (some of) the stranger's identity now. I hope it isn't that strange anymore. Or at least I hope it's a good kind of strange ;)
Gwyn: I like Elrohir/Legolas stories as well, but then where would all the Elf torture remain? *eg
The little: You're right that's exactly where I want you *lol* You're cruel, you know that? Why not let Legolas enjoy the little salvation he gets from his dreams, he will be tortured enough throughout the story after all
Anon-101-6: Does he suffer enough in your opinion? ;) Well don't worry I have hardly even begun.
Jade Stellar: Here's at least a small piece of an answer as to who the mirror image is. Hope you like it ;)
Tamara: Thank you. Here's your update. I hope it fullfills your expectations.
Rabbit of Iron: Exactly. That's why poor Legolas has to suffer so much. ;)
Goldmund: I just had to put your twin idea into my fiction, thanks for the hint ;) But no, it's not his evil twin. You must be one of the few who actually caught the fact that the figure is able to invade Legolas' dreams. Well, Aragorn does get concerned, believe me *harrharr* He will get all reason to get concerned
MoroTheWolfGod: *lol* Your review was short and to the point ;)
*Nikki*: No Aragorn/Legolas loving as of yet, I'm sorry. But I hope you still like the chapter ;)
Zelda Saturn Mistress: You ask me to continue? You ask, I'll do of course. Here it is ^_^
DewTouchedRoses: I hope this was soon enough ^_^
Mrs.Sparrow: Thank you! I hope it fullfills your expectations
Z: Well here's the third chapter ;) There will come more of them, don't worry. Seems like this story will be quite long.
Sarah Winters: Thank you. I hope you still like it ;)
Bruised Lady: Of course, if you ask so nicely ;) Here it is