Disclaimer: Belongs to the holy and mighty Tolkien
Warnings: Oh this is gonna get really bad. If you are fragile at heart please turn back now (if you haven't already) slash, incest, threesome, major angst. And more to come, believe me
AN: Holidays! Finally! More time to write! I watched RotK some days ago and in a way it fits into my story and in another way, well, it doesn't. So I declare this story now ultimatively: ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
Anyway on with it!
______________________
Drowning
______________________
"Your mind?" Aragorn repeated flustered. He would have expected many answers, but this one was surely not one of them. For a moment he looked vainly for appropriate words, then at last he simply said: " I do not exactly understand what you are implying. Could you explain more precisely?"
Legolas had anticipated this question. Oh yes, he had anticipated that he would have to tell Aragorn everything before they could build up a basis - and be it only the basis for a friendship. He had to show his trust before receiving trust in return, he knew that. But now, now that this moment had finally come, he was afraid. Afraid to make a big mistake, one which he would regret for the rest of his life. Afraid that he wouldn't be able to win Aragorn's trust, but rather lose everything in the progress, everything that was still left between them - even now.
Who knew if Aragorn would not react repelling when he found out. Who knew-
'Stop it! Stop thinking about those things! It is Aragorn whom you speak of. He would not react that way!'
But in his heart remained a spark of doubt.
'And also a spark of hope! Let him live up to his name. Let him guide you out of your darkness and be your hope.'
Legolas tightened his shoulders. "Could we go to another place first? To a place that is quieter and remoter? I-"
"Sure," interrupted him Aragorn, who recognized his uncertainty for what it was. Who recognized that his Elven friend still needed some time to commit himself to his care. Maybe time to find the right words. "At the river there is a small wooden footbridge. It is only morn, there should be noone around. Do you know the place?"
Legolas' heart jumped heavily.
"A... wooden footbridge at the river?" Legolas repeated through sallow lips.
//More! More! Gore!//
"Ai, I know the place.... very well even..." he turned his head slowly into the direction in which he presumed their destination.
Aragorn noticed the sudden change in his companion's mood instantly. "If you would prefer to go to another place..."
"Nay. Every place is as good as the other."
'Still some are worse than others,' a voice in his head whispered.
Aragorn nodded and carefully took Legolas' hand into his own. He saw the astonished stare of Mirkwood's child and gave him a small smile. "Come, mellon nin, unfortunately our time is short. There are still many preparations for today's feast to be made."
Legolas looked up and again Aragorn recognized uncertainty in his eyes. 'What has happened to you, Legolas? What has changed you to this degree?'
"Then maybe we should postpone our conversation. I would not want to detain you from your work..."
"No, we will talk now. I have the certain feeling that you would not have sought me out even now, were it not for all those circumstances and the chance that our friendship - and more! - might be at stake. The thought that you might not find the courage to entrust yourself to me again is unimaginably insistent. That is why we need to talk now."
This time Aragorn could take pleasure in a light movement of Legolas' lips. Not quite a smile yet, but nevertheless a beginning.
The ranger put his free hand on Legolas' shoulder. Yes, he would help the Elf to find himself again. He would help him to find joy again.
"Aragorn!!"
Both fellows turned around at the same time to see Elladan and Elrohir run towards them. Aragorn could barely keep himself from groaning loudly.
The twins came to a halt before them and Aragorn noticed in a silent whiff of jealousy that the both of them weren't even out of breath. Elves!
"Mae govannen, Estel, Legolas," Elrohir started the conversation while Aragorn took his hand from Legolas' shoulder. "Ada sent us to look for you. He said you should come to his study immediately. He did not sound very happy, Estel."
Elladan watched his foster brother curiously, a smile sneaking onto his lips. "What did you do again, brother mine?"
This time Aragorn couldn't surpress his groan anymore. "Dear Valar, I do indeed have a very good idea what our conversation will be about. He has probably spoken with Arwen already."
"With Arwen?" Elladan repeated astonished.
"Yes," the ranger confirmed slowly. "I will explain everything to you after my talk with ada. Provided that I am still alive after it, that is."
He turned to Legolas. The Elf was standing passively next to him, as if present and in a certain sense not present at all. As if it was only his body that still graced the earth with its immortal beauty, his mind however seemed far away, not seizable anymore.
'Is this what he meant?' Aragorn asked himself worriedly.
He intensified the pressure on Legolas' hand and the veil around Legolas's eyes clarified a little. "Legolas?" he said unsettled.
"So it is true..." Thranduil's youngest breathed at last.
"What is true?" Elladan asked, now audible impatient - and if Aragorn heard correctly also slightly concerned.
"As I said before: I will explain everything after I have talked with ada." Elrohir snorted but was being content with this statement for the moment.
"Well, then we will bring you ada's study immediately. That way we will be able to hear the news all the sooner!" opined Elladan. "It seems the only ones who do not know about anything are us!" He raised his arms in a seemingly frustrated and desperate gesture.
Aragorn laughed quietly. " For my own wellbeing I think it would be best if both of you did not know anything for the rest of your lives. Or at least for the rest of mine." He added then. After that he turned towards Legolas again. "It is conceivably unfavourable that ada would call me just now. We will meet again at the footbridge one hour before the fest is about to begin, alright?"
Legolas didn't answer.
"Legolas?" Aragorn tried again and Legolas finally blinked before nodding at last. Aragorn detached his hand from the Elf's and marched past the twins to Lord Elrond's study. Elladan hurried to follow him while Elrohir stood still next to Legolas, his gaze fixed upon Legolas' hand, which had held Aragorn's only barely a minute ago.
Realization flared up in such a strong and intense manner that Elrohir couldn't control himself from searching for the amount of truth in Legolas' eyes.
And by the Valar, seeing Legolas looking after the disappearing figures of Aragorn and Elladan which such a longing, his fears were confirmed.
"You love him?"
Legolas looked up slowly.
"So this was the reason you were so horrified when he caught us that morn. It could have been everyone but him, am I right?"
Legolas opened his mouth but no words would come out.
"We thought that you had been ashamed of being stumbled upon in such an intimate position, that this was the reason you ran out so quickly and did not talk to us for the rest of the day. But I see now that we were wrong. You were running after him, were you not?" Ehrohir's voice changed its tune to a higher and louder grade.
"I-" Legolas started uncertain, but was instantly interrupted by Elrohir again.
"You!! Ai, you!! Is that all you think about?! You? Have you even thought about Arwen, about what you are doing to her in the progress?! Just once?!" The twin fumed.
"Throughout the whole time," Mirkwood's child whispered now, but Elrohir waved his words away, not allowing himself to be mislead.
"Were we not friends - nay, almost brothers?!" Elrond's son hissed. "And Arwen! Have you not always looked upon her as a younger silbling? How could you do that to my sister!"
"But I have not done anything!" Legolas sobbed. "All those years I have never done anything!" I tried to endure it until my heart could take no more.
"Years? You betrayed my sister for years?!" Elrohir screamed enraged. Legolas flinched and took a step backwards. He lifted his hands and placed them in front of his face as if to shut himself off from reality.
"You never answered my question, Prince," Elrohir continued in a sneer, "say, does he love you as well? Will he leave my sister for your love?"
Legolas shook his head weakly, not finding the heart to reply. Not finding the courage to tell his friend that yes, the ranger had already left the fair Evenstar. And that it was his fault indeed.
Elrohir snatched at Legolas' hands and pried them off his face. "By the Valar, answer me!!!"
Legolas' lips trembled as he tried to form the words and for the first time Elrohir became aware of the silver traces that ran from the watery eyes down his cheeks. Aware that Thranduil's youngest was crying.
'But he never cries!' Came the sudden thought and shock followed soon after. It was true: in all those years that he had known the young prince he had not seen him weeping once. Not when his mother had died. Not when his friends had died. He had always been the person to support them all. He had always been the person to radiate strength, the one to always smile and tell his friends of bliss when they couldn't see it for themselves anymore.
Elbereth, what had become of this beautiful eternal being?
Elladan could not recognize the proud and self-confident spirit the prince once had anymore. Instead the flame seemed to have diminished and before him stood an insecure person with haunted eyes that were glazed over as if they had not been closed to sleep properly for an eternity.
And now that he watched he also became aware of how pale the fair being had become. And how thin.
"I do not know if he loves me," the prince finally answered, his voice a hoarse croak, nothing like the melodic tune it else was. "I want to hope he does and still I hate myself for hoping although hope is his very name. For if my hope was to be fullfilled, then what would become of the fair Evenstar, who I love like a sister!!" He cried out in anguish.
Elrohir looked at the prince shocked. Then he slowly released Legolas' hands. They fell heedlessly to his sides.
"I am... sorry, my friend. I did not know..." Elrohir said quietly. He took a deep breath before he continued. "But you must understand that I feel for my dear sister as well. I... know that you are as much victim as Arwen or even Aragorn himself, but give me a little time to comprehend..."
With that words he parted from Legolas, leaving him standing on the training ground.
After some minutes he also moved, pursuing the path that lead to the river.
_____________________________________________
SireenC: Yeah, with the holidays I finally get the chance to write again. Thanks for your compliment, I think I am able to describe him because I am quite disturbed myself *lol* But the worst is still yet to come!
Legolas19: Updated fast enough? (I still think my chapters are not weird)
Wicked Samus: Well then I only hope you got to the sixth chapter as well ;)
Gwyn: Oh, wow, such enthusiasm ;) Here's your next update. As always thanks for the review!
Anon-101-6: If you like the changing of the dream then I wonder how you will take what will happen in reality in ... I think in the next chapter! Thank you for your review, I'm always looking forward to them!
Riva van Dyk: Well, of course Aragorn forgives him, what kind of friend would he be if he didn't? ;) The question is, if it's not already too late for Legolas
Zelda Saturn Mistress: Well, in love would be the wrong term, but yes, there's definately something going on between them both. Oh, and I can't just go around killing people. I already took Aragorn from Arwen, isn't that enough suffering for the poor soul? My plot will work even with Arwen still alive (maybe even better with Arwen still alive) ;) Thanks for the review!
Yoink Daydurfurits: Wow, thanks for the review!! Well I will make it right, one way or the other, don't worry! (on second thought maybe you should worry) ;) Thanks again
C0nfus3d: Well you won't have to wait any longer ;)
Sarah Winters: Thank you for your compliment! I hope you like this chapter as well
A.: Thanks, here's the next chapter!
Hikari_Melanie: Don't worry, there *will* be Aragorn/Legolas action, though maybe not in the way everybody wishes it to come forth. And it will be explained who Legolas' mirror image is. Thanks for the comment!
S4r4: Well, uhh... comfort is a foreign word in my vocabulary. At least in this story the most dominate words will be: angst and lots of it! Anyway, thanks for the review!!!
Yumiko: Well, thanks for your comment! Updated soon enough? ;)
Warnings: Oh this is gonna get really bad. If you are fragile at heart please turn back now (if you haven't already) slash, incest, threesome, major angst. And more to come, believe me
AN: Holidays! Finally! More time to write! I watched RotK some days ago and in a way it fits into my story and in another way, well, it doesn't. So I declare this story now ultimatively: ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
Anyway on with it!
______________________
Drowning
______________________
"Your mind?" Aragorn repeated flustered. He would have expected many answers, but this one was surely not one of them. For a moment he looked vainly for appropriate words, then at last he simply said: " I do not exactly understand what you are implying. Could you explain more precisely?"
Legolas had anticipated this question. Oh yes, he had anticipated that he would have to tell Aragorn everything before they could build up a basis - and be it only the basis for a friendship. He had to show his trust before receiving trust in return, he knew that. But now, now that this moment had finally come, he was afraid. Afraid to make a big mistake, one which he would regret for the rest of his life. Afraid that he wouldn't be able to win Aragorn's trust, but rather lose everything in the progress, everything that was still left between them - even now.
Who knew if Aragorn would not react repelling when he found out. Who knew-
'Stop it! Stop thinking about those things! It is Aragorn whom you speak of. He would not react that way!'
But in his heart remained a spark of doubt.
'And also a spark of hope! Let him live up to his name. Let him guide you out of your darkness and be your hope.'
Legolas tightened his shoulders. "Could we go to another place first? To a place that is quieter and remoter? I-"
"Sure," interrupted him Aragorn, who recognized his uncertainty for what it was. Who recognized that his Elven friend still needed some time to commit himself to his care. Maybe time to find the right words. "At the river there is a small wooden footbridge. It is only morn, there should be noone around. Do you know the place?"
Legolas' heart jumped heavily.
"A... wooden footbridge at the river?" Legolas repeated through sallow lips.
//More! More! Gore!//
"Ai, I know the place.... very well even..." he turned his head slowly into the direction in which he presumed their destination.
Aragorn noticed the sudden change in his companion's mood instantly. "If you would prefer to go to another place..."
"Nay. Every place is as good as the other."
'Still some are worse than others,' a voice in his head whispered.
Aragorn nodded and carefully took Legolas' hand into his own. He saw the astonished stare of Mirkwood's child and gave him a small smile. "Come, mellon nin, unfortunately our time is short. There are still many preparations for today's feast to be made."
Legolas looked up and again Aragorn recognized uncertainty in his eyes. 'What has happened to you, Legolas? What has changed you to this degree?'
"Then maybe we should postpone our conversation. I would not want to detain you from your work..."
"No, we will talk now. I have the certain feeling that you would not have sought me out even now, were it not for all those circumstances and the chance that our friendship - and more! - might be at stake. The thought that you might not find the courage to entrust yourself to me again is unimaginably insistent. That is why we need to talk now."
This time Aragorn could take pleasure in a light movement of Legolas' lips. Not quite a smile yet, but nevertheless a beginning.
The ranger put his free hand on Legolas' shoulder. Yes, he would help the Elf to find himself again. He would help him to find joy again.
"Aragorn!!"
Both fellows turned around at the same time to see Elladan and Elrohir run towards them. Aragorn could barely keep himself from groaning loudly.
The twins came to a halt before them and Aragorn noticed in a silent whiff of jealousy that the both of them weren't even out of breath. Elves!
"Mae govannen, Estel, Legolas," Elrohir started the conversation while Aragorn took his hand from Legolas' shoulder. "Ada sent us to look for you. He said you should come to his study immediately. He did not sound very happy, Estel."
Elladan watched his foster brother curiously, a smile sneaking onto his lips. "What did you do again, brother mine?"
This time Aragorn couldn't surpress his groan anymore. "Dear Valar, I do indeed have a very good idea what our conversation will be about. He has probably spoken with Arwen already."
"With Arwen?" Elladan repeated astonished.
"Yes," the ranger confirmed slowly. "I will explain everything to you after my talk with ada. Provided that I am still alive after it, that is."
He turned to Legolas. The Elf was standing passively next to him, as if present and in a certain sense not present at all. As if it was only his body that still graced the earth with its immortal beauty, his mind however seemed far away, not seizable anymore.
'Is this what he meant?' Aragorn asked himself worriedly.
He intensified the pressure on Legolas' hand and the veil around Legolas's eyes clarified a little. "Legolas?" he said unsettled.
"So it is true..." Thranduil's youngest breathed at last.
"What is true?" Elladan asked, now audible impatient - and if Aragorn heard correctly also slightly concerned.
"As I said before: I will explain everything after I have talked with ada." Elrohir snorted but was being content with this statement for the moment.
"Well, then we will bring you ada's study immediately. That way we will be able to hear the news all the sooner!" opined Elladan. "It seems the only ones who do not know about anything are us!" He raised his arms in a seemingly frustrated and desperate gesture.
Aragorn laughed quietly. " For my own wellbeing I think it would be best if both of you did not know anything for the rest of your lives. Or at least for the rest of mine." He added then. After that he turned towards Legolas again. "It is conceivably unfavourable that ada would call me just now. We will meet again at the footbridge one hour before the fest is about to begin, alright?"
Legolas didn't answer.
"Legolas?" Aragorn tried again and Legolas finally blinked before nodding at last. Aragorn detached his hand from the Elf's and marched past the twins to Lord Elrond's study. Elladan hurried to follow him while Elrohir stood still next to Legolas, his gaze fixed upon Legolas' hand, which had held Aragorn's only barely a minute ago.
Realization flared up in such a strong and intense manner that Elrohir couldn't control himself from searching for the amount of truth in Legolas' eyes.
And by the Valar, seeing Legolas looking after the disappearing figures of Aragorn and Elladan which such a longing, his fears were confirmed.
"You love him?"
Legolas looked up slowly.
"So this was the reason you were so horrified when he caught us that morn. It could have been everyone but him, am I right?"
Legolas opened his mouth but no words would come out.
"We thought that you had been ashamed of being stumbled upon in such an intimate position, that this was the reason you ran out so quickly and did not talk to us for the rest of the day. But I see now that we were wrong. You were running after him, were you not?" Ehrohir's voice changed its tune to a higher and louder grade.
"I-" Legolas started uncertain, but was instantly interrupted by Elrohir again.
"You!! Ai, you!! Is that all you think about?! You? Have you even thought about Arwen, about what you are doing to her in the progress?! Just once?!" The twin fumed.
"Throughout the whole time," Mirkwood's child whispered now, but Elrohir waved his words away, not allowing himself to be mislead.
"Were we not friends - nay, almost brothers?!" Elrond's son hissed. "And Arwen! Have you not always looked upon her as a younger silbling? How could you do that to my sister!"
"But I have not done anything!" Legolas sobbed. "All those years I have never done anything!" I tried to endure it until my heart could take no more.
"Years? You betrayed my sister for years?!" Elrohir screamed enraged. Legolas flinched and took a step backwards. He lifted his hands and placed them in front of his face as if to shut himself off from reality.
"You never answered my question, Prince," Elrohir continued in a sneer, "say, does he love you as well? Will he leave my sister for your love?"
Legolas shook his head weakly, not finding the heart to reply. Not finding the courage to tell his friend that yes, the ranger had already left the fair Evenstar. And that it was his fault indeed.
Elrohir snatched at Legolas' hands and pried them off his face. "By the Valar, answer me!!!"
Legolas' lips trembled as he tried to form the words and for the first time Elrohir became aware of the silver traces that ran from the watery eyes down his cheeks. Aware that Thranduil's youngest was crying.
'But he never cries!' Came the sudden thought and shock followed soon after. It was true: in all those years that he had known the young prince he had not seen him weeping once. Not when his mother had died. Not when his friends had died. He had always been the person to support them all. He had always been the person to radiate strength, the one to always smile and tell his friends of bliss when they couldn't see it for themselves anymore.
Elbereth, what had become of this beautiful eternal being?
Elladan could not recognize the proud and self-confident spirit the prince once had anymore. Instead the flame seemed to have diminished and before him stood an insecure person with haunted eyes that were glazed over as if they had not been closed to sleep properly for an eternity.
And now that he watched he also became aware of how pale the fair being had become. And how thin.
"I do not know if he loves me," the prince finally answered, his voice a hoarse croak, nothing like the melodic tune it else was. "I want to hope he does and still I hate myself for hoping although hope is his very name. For if my hope was to be fullfilled, then what would become of the fair Evenstar, who I love like a sister!!" He cried out in anguish.
Elrohir looked at the prince shocked. Then he slowly released Legolas' hands. They fell heedlessly to his sides.
"I am... sorry, my friend. I did not know..." Elrohir said quietly. He took a deep breath before he continued. "But you must understand that I feel for my dear sister as well. I... know that you are as much victim as Arwen or even Aragorn himself, but give me a little time to comprehend..."
With that words he parted from Legolas, leaving him standing on the training ground.
After some minutes he also moved, pursuing the path that lead to the river.
_____________________________________________
SireenC: Yeah, with the holidays I finally get the chance to write again. Thanks for your compliment, I think I am able to describe him because I am quite disturbed myself *lol* But the worst is still yet to come!
Legolas19: Updated fast enough? (I still think my chapters are not weird)
Wicked Samus: Well then I only hope you got to the sixth chapter as well ;)
Gwyn: Oh, wow, such enthusiasm ;) Here's your next update. As always thanks for the review!
Anon-101-6: If you like the changing of the dream then I wonder how you will take what will happen in reality in ... I think in the next chapter! Thank you for your review, I'm always looking forward to them!
Riva van Dyk: Well, of course Aragorn forgives him, what kind of friend would he be if he didn't? ;) The question is, if it's not already too late for Legolas
Zelda Saturn Mistress: Well, in love would be the wrong term, but yes, there's definately something going on between them both. Oh, and I can't just go around killing people. I already took Aragorn from Arwen, isn't that enough suffering for the poor soul? My plot will work even with Arwen still alive (maybe even better with Arwen still alive) ;) Thanks for the review!
Yoink Daydurfurits: Wow, thanks for the review!! Well I will make it right, one way or the other, don't worry! (on second thought maybe you should worry) ;) Thanks again
C0nfus3d: Well you won't have to wait any longer ;)
Sarah Winters: Thank you for your compliment! I hope you like this chapter as well
A.: Thanks, here's the next chapter!
Hikari_Melanie: Don't worry, there *will* be Aragorn/Legolas action, though maybe not in the way everybody wishes it to come forth. And it will be explained who Legolas' mirror image is. Thanks for the comment!
S4r4: Well, uhh... comfort is a foreign word in my vocabulary. At least in this story the most dominate words will be: angst and lots of it! Anyway, thanks for the review!!!
Yumiko: Well, thanks for your comment! Updated soon enough? ;)