- Mind - Games -
Part Seventh
Shinji was determined that, this time, he wouldn't interfere with Asuka's dreams this time. Dreams were something far too personal, he'd decided, and he had no business poking his nose into those dreams which did not belong to him.
He did not take into account the problem that he'd probably have very little choice in the matter when the time came.
When the chaos of the Void's transformation finally stabilized, Shinji found himself floating amongst an endless ocean of darkness. He saw Asuka's image floating not that far from him; a few quick strides would bring him beside her, yet she seemed completely unaware of his presence though she had looked in his direction several times already.
Without warning, the images of a man and a woman materialized out of the darkness. They were talking about something, but Shinji was unable to make out anything that they were saying. He was, however, able to feel Asuka's reaction to it. He noticed how she hardened her defenses, trying to not let anything get to her, but he knew damage had already been done. An old wound on her soul had been reopened.
The images of the man and woman faded to nothingness as a new image appeared, this one being of Misato on a cell phone. Again, Shinji could not hear any words that were spoken, but he could feel the wound inside of Asuka opening little by little. He began to wonder if his no-interference policy was such a good idea.
Kaji appeared, and Shinji relaxed a little. 'The course of the dream must be changing' he thought. 'Kaji would never appear in one of Asuka's bad dreams' Seconds later he realized that he couldn't have been more wrong. Agony ripped through the fabric of the German girl's emotions. Shinji was caught so much by surprise that the pain threatened to overwhelm him.
Regaining his bearings, Shinji instinctively sought to go to Asuka's aid. Though he tried, he discovered some sort of invisible barrier centimeters from the point he'd been standing.
"What the hell's going on here?" he asked aloud. He pushed against the barrier, but found it didn't give in the slightest. Just as he was trying to find if he might find a way around it, a fresh wave of despair washed through the two teens. Shinji growled in frustration and beat his fists against the transparent barrier. He could feel her sinking into the darkness of despair, slipping away from all that made up her identity, while he was trapped here by a wall that didn't even really exist. This situation was absolutely infuriating! Asuka needed...
...Needed what exactly? Him? What could he possibly do for her? Help her?
Shinji ceased struggling against the barrier as he recalled the numerous times Asuka claimed she didn't want or need his help. Thinking on it, he found that it didn't matter to him what she thought about the matter. He was going to help her.
"Why are you suddenly so set on helping her?" A familiar voice asked. "I thought you were determined not to interfere."
"She's in pain!" Shinji answered as he once more began to push on the barrier. "I can't simply stand by and do nothing!"
"What makes you think you can do something?" the voice asked.
"Because I know I can at least try!" Shinji replied, straining with his entire being to move the barrier. "By trying, I'm doing something. Its as simple as that!"
"Hmmmm." the voice hmmmed thoughtfully. "Very well, but just one final question, if you please: Why do you want to help her, Shinji?"
Shinji answered without even thinking. "Because I care about her, dammit!"
Suddenly, the barrier announced its giving way with a loud crash as it shattered like a piece of cheap glass. "Well done, Shinji." The voice said, sounding quite pleased. "There might be hope for you yet."
Shinji barely heard the words of praise, as he was already off and running. Asuka was now sitting so she was hugging her legs to her chest and had her head pressing against her knees.
Though she made no noise, her shoulders shook with silent sobbing.
"Asuka?" Shinji asked as he knelt down next to her, "Are you alright?"
The girl did not respond other than pull her legs closer to her body and sink her head farther down between them.
Shinji grabbed her shoulder and shook it vigorously. "Hey, Asuka, come on, snap out of it!"
It was unclear whether it was his words or his shaking that brought Asuka back into awareness but one of them seemed to have done the trick. She lifted her head to look up at him. "Sh-Shinji?" she asked as she looked up to see for herself. As several emotions played across her face, Shinji saw that her eyes glistened with tears and that her cheeks were stained with tracks of moisture.
"Yes, I... I'm here now." He replied, having felt the need to say something to try and reassure her. It was all he could do to resist the urge to snatch her up into his arms and hold her. 'She looks so... fragile.' The look on her face made him want to shield her from any pain that he possibly could. He was so caught up in his own feelings towards her that he was struck completely by surprise at what was to come.
* S L A P *
Shinji's ears rang with the sound of a hand meeting his face at a rather high velocity. Seconds later he was aware of a sharp stinging sensation on his cheek, in an area roughly the size and shape of Asuka's hand.
Shinji looked over at Asuka, still in shock from the blow she had delivered. Gone was the vulnerable, suffering Asuka; in her place was an Asuka full of rage and indignation, though Shinji couldn't fathom as to a reason why.
"W-What was that for?" he asked her.
"You kissed her!" Asuka growled dangerously. "You abandoned me!"
"Kissed?" Shinji asked, feeling quite confused. "What are you talking about?"
"As if you didn't know!" Asuka sneered. "Just leave me alone!"
"Honestly Asuka, I don't know what you're talking about." Shinji calmly pleaded. "Tell me what happened."
"I saw you kissing Ayanami." Asuka said accusingly. "I know you were going to run off with her and leave me behind... just like all the rest of them!"
Shinji was taken aback, quite startled by this revelation. 'She must have dreamed it... but why would she be this upset about it? She can't possibly... could she? Of course not. It must be something else.'
Asuka continued to speak. "I'm alone. Everyone leaves me. I'll always be alone..." She began to stare off into space, her eyes taking on a vacant, faraway look.
Shinji then realized the problem that Asuka was dealing with: loneliness. "Asuka," he began, "listen to me. I've never kissed Rei. There's only one girl I've ever kissed. You."
Asuka's eyes focused on Shinji once more, her sense of hope reigniting. Sensing that he was making progress, Shinji continued.
"You're not alone, Asuka... not really. There will always be the people who care about you... like me."
"Shinji..." Asuka's eyes softened as the wound on her soul started to mend itself. He had provided the life-preserver that she'd needed in order to stay afloat.
He'd done something. He'd helped her.
Asuka seemed to want to say something more, but for some reason she was unable to. Instead, she threw her arms around Shinji in an embrace, whispering his name again softly.
Before Shinji could respond, though, the scene began to waver as it began to de-construct. Asuka disappeared from view as the Void once again reinstated itself.
+ M + I + N + D +
"I'm glad that part is finally over with." the young man sighed leaning back in his chair. "Who knew that dreams could be so exhausting?"
* G * A * M * E * S *
Asuka awoke to the sound of the rain pattering upon her window panes. She rubbed the sleepy feeling out of her eyes as she sat up. She felt well rested, more so than she had felt in a long time. She had the rare feeling all was right in the world, and nothing could possibly go wrong in the day ahead.
"Guten morgen, Shinji. You awake yet?" she subvocalized, her tone bright and cheery.
"Good morning Asuka." Shinji's voice replied. "Did you sleep well?"
Asuka smiled. "Yes, thank you. Did you?" she asked.
She felt Shinji return her smile. "More or less." he said, skillfully concealing his sigh of relief. He was glad she didn't seem able to remember her dreams upon waking. If Asuka didn't realize he was interfering with her dreams, he didn't have to feel so guilty about doing it.
Asuka made her way to the bathroom to take her morning shower. "Don't you dare of try to somehow take a peek at my nubile nakedness while I'm bathing, Shinji." she said as she opened the bathroom door.
She suppressed a smile as she felt Shinji's embarrassed reaction. "I w-would n-n-never even t-think of it, Asuka..."
Asuka frowned slightly as she realized that indeed, he might never have thought of doing such a thing, even given such a golden opportunity. He always behaved like a perfect gentleman, more or less. Any other boy his age would likely give his soul to be in such a position, but why didn't he? He didn't find her... unattractive for some reason, did he?
It wasn't until shortly after that possibility occurred to her did she realize she actually cared as to what Shinji thought about her. Not only did she care, she wanted him to think she was attractive.
"Is something wrong Asuka?" Shinji asked concerned, having felt Asuka's shock at her recent epiphany.
The question snapped Asuka from her mental wanderings. "Nothing's wrong." she replied quickly, hoping desperately that he couldn't overhear her thoughts.
"Okay..." Shinji said. Though he did not quite believe her, he knew it best to let the matter drop. Still, he couldn't help but wonder as to what, exactly, was bothering her.
Stepping under the showerhead, Asuka fought in vain not to ask herself as to why she felt the way she did.
* M * I * N * D *
"Emotional attachments between subjects has continued to develop into a stronger relationship between them. Though there has been little further indication of cerebral digestion, personal intuition suggests that it is currently progressing to complicating levels."
"Subjects shall continue to be monitored..."
* G * A * M * E * S *
Rei walked silently alongside Commander Ikari through the maze of corridors that made up the majority of NERV headquarters. Normally, Rei did not mind the lack of talking as they walked, not being one for unnecessary words or idle chatter. Today was not a normal day, though. Today was... different.
Today, she actually had something she wanted to talk about.
Several things, actually. But due to the sensitive nature of their content, Rei decided it was best if she waited until they reached a secure area before discussing them with the Commander.
At last they reached the executive offices, an area which she knew had undergone a security sweep within the last twelve hours. Now that she had the security she needed to discuss the matters she need only decide on what method to use to broach the subject.
"Commander, permission to speak?" As one might have predicted, she chose the direct approach.
"Of course Rei, what is it?" Gendo Ikari replied as he continued to walk.
"I have some concerns as to the mental stability of the Second Child."
Gendo turned to look at her."Oh? I assume you have reasons as to why."
Rei nodded, though her gaze was still fixed on the way ahead of her. "Yes, sir. I do."
"Let's hear them, then." Gendo said, knowing Rei was unlikely to continue unless he told her to.
"Yesterday, in the locker room, I heard her conversing with Pilot Ikari when she thought she was alone." Rei explained.
Gendo stopped in his tracks, prompting Rei to stop as well. "Sir?" she asked as she looked over to her commanding
The commander pushed up his sunglasses with his index finger. "Interesting..."
* M * I * N * D *
"...And now, here's everyone's favorite bleach blond scientist singing a little number entitled "Let's make matters worse"."
- G - A - M - E - S -
Ritsuko could not help but yawn as the elevator's floor indicator clicked off level after level. It had been another long night, and she hadn't slept for much more than an hour since the latest angel attack. The long hours had taken their toll on her, and she was more than ready to collapse into a nice, soft bed.
"No rest for the weary..." she muttered to herself. She still had too much to worry about to think about resting right now. First, she had to deliver her report regarding the data from the previous day's sync tests to the Commander. To say her findings were troublesome would be putting it too mildly...
The familiar *ping* of the elevator bell announced she'd arrived at the proper floor. The doors slid open to reveal the familiar darkness that was Gendo Ikari's office. The commander was sitting at his desk, with the back of his chair facing in her direction. "Good morning Dr. Akagi." he said without turning around.
Whatever the nature of their personal relationship, lives depended upon their maintaining the status of their professional one. When on the job, one must often put personal feelings aside. Such was their case.
"There's a cup of coffee on the desk if you want it, Doctor." Gendo said as Ritsuko walked towards him from across the room. She was more than a little surprised at such an act of kindness from the normally cold-hearted man. Gendo was not one whom normally went out of his way to consider the feelings of others. Ritsuko didn't ponder this long, however, as the promise of caffeine overrode any shock or suspicion she might have had.
She found the cup was still warm, and the coffee was at just the right temperature. "Thank you, commander." she said, having quickly finished the cup, feeling slightly better than she had in the elevator.
"Indeed." Gendo replied. "Your subordinate informed me that you have something urgent to report on yesterday's synchronization scores regarding the Second Child?"
"Yes sir." Ritsuko cleared her throat before continuing. "According to the data analysis, the Second Child is currently housing two distinct and individual brainwave patterns."
Gendo turned his chair around to face her. "Continue." he said, and by no means was it meant as a suggestion.
Ritsuko did as she was instructed "The second pattern is apparently some sort of result from the last Angel attack. It is unclear as to the nature of this second pattern, we don't yet know if its something created by her contact with the Angel or something of her own making. She has not as of yet shown signs of being manipulated by the presence of this secondary pattern, she might not even be aware of it."
"I see. Is she still able to pilot her EVA?"
"She might be a security risk if it turns out this secondary pattern is of the Angel's doing. Otherwise, she's still capable of piloting her EVA."
Gendo leaned forward, putting his elbows on the desk as he folded his hands in front of his face. "Your recommendations?" he asked.
"Find a way to remove the pattern." Ritsuko replied. "The sooner the better."
Notes from the Author:
Yes, I know this one is even shorter than usual, but I felt bad for not releasing this part with the last one as my outlines originally had intended. This was supposed to be the stopping point of Part Sixth, but as you might notice, that would have nearly doubled its length.
Anyone got any Omake scenes for this story? I'd like to hear them. I'm working on putting together a collection of them for www.darkscribes.org. Send them to me if you have any you've thought of, or some ideas for them if you've had any. Thanks.
I'd like to thank all of those who've reviewed my work thus far, and thank those that are going to review after they finish reading this message. Your reviews are truly the only reason I've written as much as I have, as they let me know others are still interested in what I have to write. They also encourage me to get off my lazy bum and work harder on getting the next part out as soon as I can. So please, let me know what you think of this, it really is important to me.
And now... for some sleep. I haven't caught a wink in nearly...oh god, seventy two hours? That can't be right...