M I N D G A M E S
Part Ninth
"What's going on? What are you doing?" Misato asked, feeling more than a little confused at Ritsuko's behavior.
"Just checking something I should have thought of about a lot sooner" Ritsuko answered. "I'm running a check on the unidentified pattern. It should be done any minute now."
As if on cue, the computer displayed a single word to which it had matched the pattern to:
HUMAN
It then continued to narrow its search.
"What the hell does that mean?" Misato asked
"I'm not sure exactly." Ritsuko replied. Could it be that the angel's even think like us? They're close to us genetically... If an angel has somehow entered Asuka's mind... Would we really be able to tell any difference if it decided to take control of her? What if it decides on a different target?
Ritsuko's thoughts were interrupted by a sudden gasp from Misato, which was soon followed by one of her own as soon as she looked back at the next two words displayed by the monitor.
M I N D
"Wouldn't it just suck if the computer said something along the lines of 'ACCESS DENIED'?" the young man grinned evilly for a moment then sighed. "Back to work..."
G A M E S
"Just when, exactly, were you planning on telling me about this?" Misato asked, her voice emphasizing her displeasure. It was the first words she had spoken since leaving the NERV facility.
Asuka had groaned inwardly. Things had gone badly ever since she had left the entry plug. When she got to the Observation Deck, she was greeted by a very serious-looking Misato and Ritsuko. "Asuka," Ritsuko had began, "After the last angel attack, did anything unusual happen to you?"
From there it had all gone downhill. The blond scientist asked her question after question, which Asuka naturally answered as evasively as possible. Finding that her line of inquiry was going nowhere fast, the good Dr. Akagi decided to pull out all the stops and show the German pilot the brain wave graph, which was conveniently labeled with Asuka's and Shinji's names.
Looking back, Asuka supposed she might have chosen a better response than what she did, but she had spoken simply without thinking.
"You mean you already know?"
What followed was another barrage of distressing and probing questions directed at her and Shinji regarding the events of the past two days. Eventually, Ritsuko told Misato, who had been for the most part silent throughout the interrogation, that what she had should be enough for now and then dismissed Asuka to get changed. Misato greeted her at the door of locker room soon after she was done and told her that she'd drive her home.
Which brings us back to the present situation... Asuka thought ruefully .
"Well?" Misato said, insisting on a response to her previous question.
"Would you have believed me even if I had?" Asuka asked.
Misato was silent for a long moment the, only sound to be heard was the wiper blades clearing the windshield from the heavy downpour. "I... I'm not sure Asuka." she finally said, her voice losing all of its earlier edge. "I'd like to think that I would have... in the very least have had it seriously investigated..."
"And have me removed as a pilot and give wondergirl my EVA..." Asuka muttered under her breath.
Misato, distracted with the task of driving in poor weather, didn't hear the remark.
Shinji, on the other hand, heard it quite well. "Why do you say that Asuka?" he asked impulsively. "Do you really believe that Misato has it in for you?"
Asuka was startled by the sudden question. Even more troubling was she really didn't know the answer to that. 'Do I?' she wondered privately. She wanted to refute it, but there was a small part of her that thought that was exactly the case. It was just a whisper of a voice inside Asuka's head... hardly noticeable amidst the din of her typical thoughts... but it emanated from her very core, and it insisted on being heard. "I wanted to take care things myself... on my own." she muttered, '...because I can't trust anybody else to be there for me. I'm all alone.'
Shinji recognized that Asuka was feeling quite similar to the way she had in her dream the night before. Loneliness, despair, and betrayal beat against the thin mental barriers that separated the two of them. He once more felt the overpowering desire to shield her from these feelings in any way he could. "No one can do everything by themselves, Asuka. You're human, and part of being human is needing to rely on other human beings from time to time... You don't have to do everything on your own." Shinji paused for a moment. "You're not alone." He said finally.
Asuka's emotions had become a maelstrom of contradictions. Part of her wanted to deny everything that Shinji had just said as being untrue, while another part desperately wanted to believe him. She felt comforted by Shinji's heartfelt words, though she was confused as to why exactly they meant so much coming from him.
"Were..." The sound of Misato's voice abruptly snapped Asuka from her personal reflections. "Were you talking to him? Just now, I mean?"
"Er... yeah... how could you tell?" Asuka asked.
Misato smiled. "When I looked over you had this weird expression on your face and you were sort of staring off into space."
"Oh." was all Asuka could say.
A few moments passed before either spoke again, the squeak of the windshield wipers the only noise in the car. "I know you must be tired of answering questions by now," Misato said, breaking the silence, "But would you mind if I ask you one more question?"
"Sure," Asuka replied. "But I can't guarantee you I'll answer it."
"Fair enough." Misato said with a nod. She waited a few moments before speaking, as if she were choosing her next words carefully. "What's it feel like?" she asked finally.
"Excuse me?" Asuka asked with a raised eyebrow.
Misato chewed the corner of her bottom lip. "I mean... what's it like having Shinji in your head?"
Asuka sighed and sank back into her seat. Couldn't she have asked for something a little easier to answer?
"Sorry," Misato said apologetically. "But I just had to ask."
"It's not that, Misato." Asuka replied, "its just that... I don't really know where to begin, exactly. I haven't really thought about it all that much."
Asuka looked out her window at the rain and passing scenery, though her eyes seemed to be looking at something much farther away. There was a rather drawn out moment of silence before she continued. "You know that feeling you get when a person you know is nearby but you can't really see them?" she finally asked
Misato simply nodded, and Asuka went on to explain further. "Its the same sort of feeling when I'm talking to Shinji. I can feel that he's there, even though I can't really see him."
"How strange." Misato commented.
"Yeah..." Asuka replied absently as her gaze traveled down to her feet. 'Stranger yet, I think I've gotten kind of used to it...'
"About time for some deep introspection by Shinji, don't you think?"
Apache yawned in response.
"Yeah, I know, but we have to stick to some basis of his character..."
Not too much later, as Asuka and Misato returned to the apartment they all called home, Shinji was floating in the Void and doing some very hard thinking.
'Things have changed...' he concluded after some time. 'I'm not really sure just how much... but there's no doubt: things have really changed for me... and I think some things have changed for Asuka, too.'
'Is it all just a result this weird accident and the weird condition we've found ourselves ?' he found himself wondering. 'If Ritsuko finds a way to get things straightened out, will any of this matter at all? Will everything go back to the way it was before this happened?'
Shinji was surprised to find himself disliking that notion. 'Since when did I become such an advocate for change? All my life I've been doing my best to ensure that as little change as possible was allowed to come into my life... at least before I got that letter saying to report to Tokyo-3. Why am I just now experiencing this sudden "change of heart" over the matter?'
He pondered this. 'Does it really matter why I've changed? The fact is that I have, and I sort of like it. That is what is really important.' He paused as he came upon a sudden epiphany. 'This... this is probably the first time in my life I've ever... liked... something about myself.'
Several seconds of shocked silence followed. "How strange..." he mumbled, echoing Misato's earlier sentiment.
"This coming from a boy who pilots a giant humanoid robot against equally giant monsters that are able to create explosions in cross-shaped patterns. Hmmm..."
Night had long since fallen at the Nevada NERV experimental testing facility, its staff having celebrated the first successful testing of the NERV Super Solenoid Engine earlier in the day. Their have been many great "firsts" for mankind such as the first fire, the first lunar landing, but the first successful construction and activation of an S2 engine was assured to surpass all these things in the history books yet to come.
If a certain individual had their way, this famous "first" would become a not-so-famous "last"...
In the cover of darkness, a shadow slipped through the barbed wire fence and up to a large non-descript warehouse building. A dark gloved hand quickly and confidently typed the correct code into the keypad, turning the red security light to green, signifying passage was now clear.
Beneath his suit's face mask, Roger Kestrel grinned. 'This is too easy.' he thought with smug satisfaction. 'Pity... I was hoping for more of a challenge than this'
Quickly slipping inside the warehouse, Kestrel immediately saw the hulking form of Unit-04, laying on its back, partially submerged in a bath of cryo-fluid.
'Sleeping giant...' Kestrel sneered mentally as he made his way closer, 'Indeed. How dare that Ikari seek to interfere with the Divine plan of Instrumentality. Does he not realize that it is inevitable?' Producing a small circular object from his backpack, he proceeded to attach it to the EVA unit's armor.
Kestrel became aware of something cold being pressed to the back of his head. This realization was followed by the unmistakable sound of a safety being released. Kestrel froze in place. 'Damn! I guess I got careless...'
With the fraction of a second that was left in his life, he wondered if he'd hear the shot coming before he died.
"...!?"
Asuka and Pen-Pen lounged in front of the television while Misato tackled a half dozen folders of paperwork and reports. Despite the day's earlier activities and startling revelations, the current mood was rather comfortable and relaxed. Rather predictably, the peaceful respite did not last long. Without so much as a warning, a disruptive ringing noise intruded upon the quiet of the apartment. "Telephone!" both females called out on reflex. As one might have predicted, the phone continued to ring.
Asuka's attention diverted from the TV long enough to try and reason as to why the noisy phone had gone unanswered as of yet. Her eyes met with Pen-Pen's, whose look seemed to say "What? You can't possibly expect me to answer it, can you?"
It was then that she became aware of the feeling of amusement that was emanating from Shinji. "Its nice to know that I'm still missed around here." he commented.
Muttering to herself about penguins and lazy guardians/co-workers, Asuka dragged herself to her feet and went to answer the insistent ringing. "Hello?" she said monotonously picking up the phone quickly before the answering machine did.
"Asuka?" asked the familiar voice on the other end of the phone. "Its Hikari..."
"Oh, hello Hikari." Asuka greeted her friend, this time her voice filled with a little more animation. "What's up?"
"I was just calling to see if everything was all right," Hikari explained, "since you, Shinji, and Rei weren't in school today, everyone got to worrying something was wrong..."
'Wondergirl wasn't in school?' Asuka wondered, for she hadn't seen Rei at headquarters. Shrugging internally, she dismissed the matter and continued her conversation. "Nothing's wrong. They just called us in for some unscheduled tests, that's all. What did I miss in class today?"
"Not all that much, really," Hikari replied, "just the assignment of a composition paper that's due next week ..."
"Forget homework." Asuka laughed. "Did anything interesting happen gossip-wise? Involving a particular outstanding member of the student body and a particular jock?"
Asuka could almost hear Hikari's blush over the phone-line. "Cut it out, Asuka..." Hikari replied, her voice halfway pleading, "What if Shinji overhears you? He's one of Touji's best friends!"
Asuka laughed again. "Alright, I'll cut it out. But I'm sure he isn't listening at the moment."
"Huh?" Hikari asked, sounding a little confused at her friend's choice of words.
"Er... nevermind..." Asuka replied hastily, realizing what she had just said.
"Okay..." Hikari said, a little confused by Asuka's strange behavior. She thought about it for a moment and realized something. "I think that was the first time I've ever heard you say anything about Shinji without an insult attached."
"What!?" Asuka choked out, surprised at the sudden turn her friend had taken the conversation. "That's not true..."
"I pretty sure it is true." Hikari insisted. "Though I could be wrong..."
'Do I really treat him so rottenly?' Asuka wondered. "I can't be like that all the time." She explained, though it was more to herself than to Hikari.
"I never said you were..." Hikari said, her tone placating. "But it sounds like you just might be changing your opinion in regards to him."
"I..." Asuka had intended to deny the notion of it on reflex, but found herself hesitating. 'I...I guess my opinion of Shinji has changed since the incident... how could it not have?' "I'm sooo sure, Hikari." she said sarcastically, though her heart just wasn't in it.
"So," Hikari said, ready to change the subject yet again, "are you and Shinji going to be in school tomorrow?"
Asuka took a moment to think before she answered. "I think so... but I'm not sure, really." she replied. "Things at work have been a little crazy."
"Well, if you're not able to make it tomorrow, I'll be glad to drop your homework off so you don't get behind." Hikari offered.
"Thanks, Hikari." Asuka replied, "See you tomorrow."
Misato entered the room as Asuka placed the receiver back in its cradle. "Who was it?" she asked in a conversational voice.
"Hikari." Asuka replied, "She was wondering if I'd be in school tomorrow."
"Oh....Okay." Misato said. She looked as if she wanted to say more, but was somehow unable to get the words out. Asuka shrugged mentally and turned to leave. "Asuka, wait a moment. I need to... talk to you."
Asuka turned back to face the older woman and waited expectantly. "I want to say that I'm... I'm sorry." Misato began, though she did not make eye contact with her young charge. "I feel as though I've failed you at being your guardian."
"What do you mean?" Asuka asked, confused at this sudden confession.
"If I were doing my job properly, you wouldn't have felt the need to keep yours and Shinji's 'condition' a secret." Misato explained.
Asuka looked away. "That's... not all your fault, Misato." she said.
Misato raised her eyes and the fire of determination returned to them. "I just want you to know that, in the future, you can tell me anything that's bothering you, and it'll stay strictly between us if that's what you want." Misato's eyes softened. "Okay Asuka?"
Asuka met her guardian's gaze and the corners of her mouth upturned slightly in a sort of semi-smile. "Okay."
Misato smiled sunnily. "Good." Satisfied, she left the room to return to her paperwork.
Asuka returned to her place in front of the television, for lack of anything better to do with her time. Finding that the program she had been watching had lost its appeal, she wandered aimlessly through the electronic wasteland that was post-second impact cable television in search of something to occupy her attention.
"Asuka," Shinji interrupted several long moments after she had begun her search for something good on, "What's the real reason you didn't want to tell Misato or Ritsuko about what happened to us? I know its not simply because you thought they wouldn't believe you. There's more to it than that."
Asuka stopped in mid-channel flip, quite stunned by the question.
"You don't have to answer if you don't want to." Shinji said quickly, hoping that his prying didn't anger her.
'He'll know if I'm lying... but why should I lie? I can tell him... can't I?'Asuka took a deep breath and exhaled it in a long, drawn-out sigh. Her decision made, the German girl surged forward on her chosen course.
"It was..." Asuka rasped, her throat having gone completely dry. She coughed and tried to clear the obstruction. "It was because... I was afraid I'd be taken off the active duty roster."
"What do you mean, Asuka?" Shinji asked, feeling more than a little confused by her answer.
"I didn't want to be taken off active duty."
This explanation did not help clear Shinji's confusion. "But why is that so important to you?"
Asuka sighed, not sure how she could explain it any better. After another period of silence, she responded to his question in the most direct words she could manage. "I was afraid they'd stop me from piloting my EVA."
At first Shinji could not comprehend what Asuka. 'Why would she...?' He wondered, then it dawned on him. 'Could it possibly be that EVA's as important to her life as it is to mine?' Shinji felt smacking his forehead in disgust. 'Of course it is!' After all, Asuka had been involved with EVA piloting for a much longer period of time, so naturally it would at least be as important to her as it was to Shinji, if not more so. Asuka was so different from himself on the outside, he would have never guessed that they shared similar feelings about being an EVA pilot.
Asuka felt Shinji go from bewildered to... something else as he digested what sh had just said. 'Will this change... change what? His feelings towards me? Why am I so apprehensive about that possibility?' She already knew the answer: He'd said that she wasn't alone... and she believed he meant what he said. Somehow those little words had become infinitely precious to her.
"I would have never guessed." Shinji commented after a indeterminate period of silence.
"What do you mean?" Asuka asked, confused by both her stormy emotions and by his unexpected choice of words.
"You act so differently than I do... you're popular, aggressive, full of life and energy... but you still feel similar to the way I do towards piloting EVA." Shinji explained.
Asuka smiled, relaxing back into the bean bag chair she had seated herself in. "Who would have guessed?" she joked, feeling as though a great burden had been taken off her heart. She could almost see Shinji smile his reply back at her.
- M - I - N - D -
"Waffy urges... taking over... must maintain character integrity... GAAHHH!"
The young man collapses back into his chair in exhaustion, his breathing labored from the amount of will he'd been forced to exert.
Apache rolled his eyes in disgust.
"So what?" the young man shot back in defense, "I'm allowed to be melodramatic at times, aren't I?"
G A M E S
Kouzou Fuyutski watched as Gendo Ikari stood on the catwalks of the EVA cages, overlooking the purple behemoth that was Unit 01. 'What goes on in that mind of yours?' Fuyutski wondered, not for the first time in his life, 'Do you feel anything when you see her? Are you even capable of feeling anything anymore except your dark desire and hatred?'
"Was there something you wanted, professor?" Gendo asked suddenly, though he still showed no other indication that he was even aware of the older man's very existence.
Kouzou was slightly taken aback, though he was to the point that little about this man Gendo Ikari truly surprised him anymore. "There was a report of an attempted sabotage at the R and D site in Nevada ." Fuyutski replied, after a moment. "They were attempting to get at Unit 04, it appears."
"I was already aware of this." Gendo replied rather flatly, telling Kouzou he'd better get to the point.
How Gendo could know this roused Fuyutski's suspicions, as the report had only come through mere moments ago. "It seems our Mr. Kaji was involved in the prevention of the saboteur's success, having shot the intruder himself."
"I fail to see the problem." Gendo said, his voice as even and uninterested as ever.
Kouzou cleared his throat before continuing. "It seems the details of body's disposal are missing, as well as any information as to how exactly the intruder intended to sabotage the EVA."
"Really?" Gendo asked, though his voice showed no surprise, "How careless of Mr. Kaji to fail to put that into his report. Be sure to reprimand him upon his return."
Fuyutski's eyes narrowed. 'What are you getting at, Ikari?' "I was wondering what Mr. Kaji was doing there in first place?"
"I assigned him to see to the security of the first test of Unit 04's Super Solenoid engine." the elder Ikari stated simply.
'Could he possibly have anticipated the attack on Unit 04? But how?' Kouzou found himself wondering. Something was going on, that Fuyutski was absolutely sure of. But to what end did it all serve? The balance of things had been greatly upset by a number of recent events. Kouzou knew better than to think them unrelated instances, but that which tied them together still eluded him. 'What dangerous game are you playing now?'
M I N D
"I love a good conspiracy, Don't you?" the young man asked no one in particular. "But ask yourself this, does it have anything to do with the real plot? But then, of course, you'd have to ask yourself if you knew what the real plot was anyway and..."
The young man was interrupted by not so gentle nudge to his kidneys by his cohort Apache.
"I get the message." the young man replied. "Back to the plot, real or otherwise." he added under his breath.
Apache gave him a sharp look that spoke volumes of what he thought of the young man's comments. "You are absolutely no fun." grumbled the young man as he returned his attention to the computer screen ahead of him, his fingers once again stumbling across the keyboard.
G A M E S
Asuka yawned. Again. Television had long since lost her interest and Misato had not yet finished ruining the perfectly good food that was to be their dinner. Deciding she might as well take a nap before she ate anything that was sure to ruin her chances at a decent night's sleep, Asuka stumbled to her feet and groggily made her way to her room, where she promptly threw herself on her futon and began to drift off into oblivion...
She was in some sort of grassy field, though that mattered very little as she realized she was not alone in this place. HE was here too... a fact that overwhelmed her with unadulterated joy. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, eagerly wrapping her arms around him, nearly bringing the two of them toppling to the ground.
"Shinji, Shinji, Shinji..." She repeated his name as if it were some sort of holy mantra, a ward against all the unpleasant memories that made up her awareness.
Shinji was rather surprised for several reasons. First, the void had changed into the dreamscape so suddenly, and with little in the way of the violent shuddering that he had always associated with the translation of empty mind space into the now present reality. Second, and even more confusingly, was the red haired German pilot's behavior. "A-Asuka?!?" he managed to get out.
"Of course, silly boy." she replied. "Who were you expecting?" She snuggled her face into his chest a little more as Shinji found himself putting his arms around her. After a few moments Asuka pulled back slightly, though did not seem to want to break their shared embrace, and looked into Shinji's eyes, and smiled peacefully.
"Asuka, I...." Shinji began, before he realized words weren't necessary or even desired for that matter. Asuka already knew whatever he was going to say next. She responded by pulling him closer to herself and wasn't going to let go for anything.
Shinji enjoyed the hug quite a bit, seeing it was the first show of genuine physical affection that had been shown him by anyone in a long while. He knew it was genuine too, he could feel it emanating from Asuka, as sure as if it were his own emotion. She was happy for the simple fact he existed.
The feeling was not to be long lasting. It was suddenly interrupted by another sensation, not nearly as pleasant.
Asuka noticed the air around her turn cold and the once sunny field had now darkened from the ominous clouds overhead. She looked at Shinji only to find that he was becoming rapidly transparent. "Shinji..." She said, forcing herself to sound (mostly) calm. "What's going on?"
Shinji looked at himself as the feeling of his consciousness being pulled away... towards someplace else grew stronger every moment. His form was fading from existence, mimicking his rapidly deteriorating awareness. "I....I'm not sure." he replied more calmly than he actually felt at the moment.
Asuka attempted to hug Shinji closer to herself, so as to ensure he couldn't leave her, but instead her arms passed through Shinji's now incorporeal body. "Shinji!" she found herself crying out in desperation and met his eyes, the one thing that had not yet begun to fade from existence. Tears rolling unashamedly down her cheeks she pleaded with him and whatever cruel twist of fate dared to take him from her side. "Please, don't.... don't leave me alone." her voice ragged with emotion.
Despite all his own fears, the look in Asuka's eyes and her heartfelt words gave Shinji a sense of calm. "You're not alone Asuka." Shinji reassured her. "I can't leave you alone. Not now. I'll find a way back to you. I promise." With that Shinji's soulful blue eyes began to fade into nonexistence as well, and soon, Shinji was no more.
"Shinji..." Asuka stared on in disbelief. "NO! SHHHIIIIIINNNNNJJJJJIIIIIIII!!!"
M I N D
Cerebral digestion process has entered final stages.
...
Did anyone else hear a belching noise?
G A M E S
Ritsuko, Maya and a large number of people belonging to the NERV technical and science staff had been reassigned through emergency measures to work on finding a way to get Shinji's mind back in his body. Using data gathered from Units 01 and 02 about the beam the angel had hit them with, they had gone about devising a method that would accomplish such a goal. At the moment Ritsuko and Maya were working furiously to put the latest method through a MAGI computer model test to see if it worked more than in just theory. If Ritsuko was right about the developments that had been occurring since Shinji and Asuka began cohabitation in a single nervous system, then time was of the essence if they hoped to recover the young male pilot.
"Are you done with the Unit 01's AT field and the particle beam cannon's calculations yet, Maya?" Ritsuko paused in her work a moment to check up on her younger protege.
"Yes Ma'am." Maya replied, "I'm routing it to your terminal now."
Ritsuko inserted the modules into the program and sent it to the MAGI supercomputers to digest and regurgitate the results. Relaxing for the first time in a long while, Ristuko slumped back into her chair as the program ran the simulation.
"Ma'am?" Maya's voice interrupted the blond woman's brief respite. "Do you think Pilot Ikari will be okay after all of this? I mean, we don't know what else the angel did to him or..."
"I'm just as clueless as you, Maya." Ritsuko replied. "All that we can do for him is preform to the best of our ability and hope that its enough."
Maya was silent a moment before speaking again. "I guess so, its just... He's endured, sacrificed and done so much for all of us... I just wish their was more we could do for him."
Ritsuko simply smiled at her younger colleague's sincerity and empathy. The smile was short lived as her cell phone began to ring.
M I N D
For whom does the ringtones toll I wonder?
G A M E S
Asuka awoke to the sound of a scream, only later realizing it had been her own. Shinji... Gone... No... Was just a dream... It can't be real...
And yet it was.
Within a mere two seconds of Asuka's scream, Misato was at her young charge's side. "Asuka?! What's wrong?"
Asuka barely heard her guardian as the realities clashed around her. "Shniji..."she whispered brokenly, "Shinji's... gone."
"What?!?" Misato squawked. "What do you mean, 'gone'?"
Asuka finally took note of her elder roommate and turned to face her. "He's gone!" She repeated with a frantic quality in her voice. "He's gone, Misato! I can't feel him anymore! He vanished right in front of my eyes!"
"Are you sure it wasn't just a dream Asuka?" Misato asked hoping against hope that was the case.
"It wasn't just a dream, dammit!" Asuka growled. "I can't feel him anymore, Misato. Weren't you listening?"
"Calm down Asuka..." Misato said, trying to gain some control over the situation.
"Calm down?!" Asuka was now experiencing full blown hysteria. "How can you possibly say that at a time like this?!" Asuka looked away from Misato, eyes fixing at some unseen point in the far distance. "Shinji's... gone... and... and..." The dam inside her finally broke as a wrenching sob escaped her lips.
Misato, being the brilliant tactician that she was knew that when faced with a situation beyond your understanding or expertise, the best solution was to give the problem to someone else to solve. Pulling the red headed girl to her feet with one hand and hitting the speed dial for Ritsuko's number on her cell phone with her other, Misato prepared to execute Katsuragi Special Secret tactic #3: Get Ritsuko to take care of it.
Ritsuko answered three seconds later as the two females were exiting the apartment and making their way to Misato's car. Misato quickly explained what was happening to her old friend.
"Its as I feared." Ritsuko replied, "Get her here immediately."
"I was already on my way... HEY! Wait a just a second! You knew this would happen?!"
The woman on the other end hesitated. "Not exactly, Misato..."
"But you said..." Misato protested.
"I'll explain more when I see you in person." Ritsuko cut her off. "There is no time to waste."
"Dammit!!" Misato snarled as she cut the connection and loaded Asuka into her car.
Asuka remained in a state of shock. Loneliness threatened to consume her now exposed psyche. She had let her shields down, let herself trust in another human being again. She had been struck at the exact moment she had been the most vulnerable. Now she was losing herself in the corridors of her own mind. Just as she felt she was about to succumb completely, she felt a tiny voice in the back of her head whisper insistently to her 'Don't give up on him yet!'
She clung to those words as a life preserver in the turbulent seas of her emotions. He had promised. She would believe in him. Settling that matter, Asuka steeled herself for whatever was to come next.
M I N D
And now, live, from the belly of the beast...
G A M E S
'Where am I?' he wondered, as his awareness drifted amidst the nothingness. 'What happened?'
Forming thoughts grew increasingly harder for him. He felt himself weaker and weaker, as if his very existence was a guttering candle flame in the wind.
'Would it really be so bad if I just disappeared?' he found himself wondering. No more Evangelion, No more cold hearted bastard of a father, no more being chewed out by Misato, no more...'
He stopped the train of thought as a single name filled his entire awareness.
'Asuka...'
He could still see the look on her face... It both hurt and comforted him. It hurt to know that he was at the cause of such anguish for her, though in a perverse way it felt good to know that she cared enough about him to be hurt in such a way.
I'll find a way back to you. I promise.
The words echoed loudly in his consciousness. He'd promised her. But did he really owe it to her to keep that promise? Until recently, all she had ever done for him was berate him and make him feel small and useless... much like everything and everyone else in his life. Why should he return to that?
"Giving up already?" a faint voice asked. "After you've come all this way? You're just going to give up? Just like that?"
But I've been hurt.
"So what? Human beings will always hurt other human beings. Why should you be any different than the rest of humanity. Pain was the second form of communication that Humanity learned, and has never forgotten its lessons. Pain always was and likely always will be the universal language."
A long period of silence followed.
How do I get back?
"By remembering the first form of communication that humanity learned."
Which is...?
"Love."
M I N D
Sappy, but when you think about it...
G A M E S
"So what you're telling me is that Asuka's mind has been eating Shinji this whole time?" Misato gave Ritsuko a look of incredulity.
"To put it in its most simple of terms, yes." Ritsuko replied, not even looking up from the terminal she was working at. The rest of the observation room was a flurry of activity, Everyone now working desperately to ready the operation that might save the famed pilot of Unit-01.
"And you knew this was happening?" Misato asked, getting angry.
"Yes and no." Ritsuko answered, "After comparing Shinji's waves with those from before the incident, I found some minuscule irregularities. I suspected this might be happening, but finding a way to separate their two minds took priority."
Hearing this, Misato calmed down considerably. Looking out the window where Eva units 00 and 02 were waiting to begin the retrieval procedure, she sighed. "So... what happens now."
"We have two options." Ritsuko stopped typing and turned to look at her old friend. "We can try and save Shinji, but run the risk of irreparably damaging Asuka, and there's no guarantee it would even work. The magi's simulations only give a thirty percent chance of sucess as it is."
Misato didn't like the sound of it, but she knew Ritsuko was just being honest about the situation. "What's the second option?"
Ritsuko frowned. "We leave things as they are, and try and find a more sure way of retrieval."
"Can we do that?" Misato asked.
"Not if we want Shinji back the way he was. Within an hour, if these current readings are accurate, Shinji will begin to deteriorate, rapidly losing memories and peices of his personality."
"NO!!!"
The supposedly private conversation was interrupted by a frantic Asuka, listening in through the communication systems of Unit 02. She cradled in her lap the inert, hospital gowned body of one Shinji Ikari in her arms as they floated in the LCL of the entry plug. "We have to save Shinji!"
"I know, Asuka. But we have to think about the possibility of another Angel attack, and..."
"To hell with the Angels Misato! If we can't save Shinji, the rest of Humanity can just go hang!" Asuka growled vehemently. Then, in a much calmer voice, she added. "I won't pilot without him."
"Pilot Sorhyu is correct." a quiet voice broke in. "Pilot Ikari... cannot be replaced."
Ritsuko arched an eyebrow. 'That was unexpected.' she thought to herself. 'I never would have guessed Rei to feel that way.'
Misato sighed again, knowing she was trapped. "Ritsuko, how long until we can start the operation."
Ritsuko checked the terminal's screen one last time. After taking three full seconds to examine the information displayed there, she turned back to Misato. "We can begin momentarily."
M I N D
Can you feel the tension in the air?
Hey!
Throwing things at me is a little uncalled for!
But then again, some say the same about these little interludes.
- G - A - M - E - S -
Asuka looked down at the motionless body she held in her arms. "Just hold on Shinji, just hold on." She whispered in his ear, knowing full well that the body could not really hear her words. It was more for her own peace of mind anyway, so it didn't really matter if Shinji's body heard her or not.
He had promised her. He hadn't broken a promise to her during this whole ordeal, he wouldn't start now. She believed in him.
He'd find a way back to her.
"If you don't idiot,"She muttered pulling him close as if he were some boy sized teddy bear "I swear I will personally find you and beat the living snot out of you."
"Are you ready, Asuka?" Dr. Akagi's voice asked over the com channel.
"Yes. You better not screw this up Rei." she said looking at the feed from Unit 00
The image of Rei nodded gravely. "I will not."
That being said. Asuka braced herself for whatever.
Rei brought the particle cannon to bear on the form of Unit 02, focusing hard on the required pattern of AT feild required to make the shot work correctly. The telltale beeping of target lock brought about the almost reflexive trigger pull response.
Asuka saw the white light approach once again as if it were in slow motion. Despite her earlier determination to see this through, she now felt very afraid of what was to come. The Light engulfed unit 02 and her every nerve became alive with pain...
A word from the author
Sorry it took so long. Yes, I know you all hate me. Every one does. So I left it rot for two years. I had issues to deal with. Hopefully it won't be another two years for the next chapter.
Hope you enjoyed this.