Lyrics credited to Taking Back Sunday – "New American Classic"
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Chapter 5 : Signaling the Beginning to an End
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just ask the question, come untie the knot
say you won't care, say you won't care
retrace the steps as if we forgot
try to avoid it but there's not a doubt
and there's one thing I can do nothing about
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I woke up with rays of light escaping between the long blinds shading my window, lighting my room with lengthy stripes of sunshine. I got up lazily, almost rolling out of bed onto the wooden floor. I yawned and dragged myself into the bathroom, finally waking up with a cold shower.
Back in my bedroom, the digital clock blinked 8:45 AM in red. My shift at the casino would be from 9:30 to 4:00 PM.
A long shift for me, but I needed the money.
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Dressed in my casino uniform consisting of my white polo vest with a crimson bow, black pants with a crimson belt, and my red suit jacket with gold trimmings, I was Poker Alice at the casino.
I scanned the floor I was in quickly before casually walking to my usual Black Jack table, ready to feel the usual glory of winning.
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The hours flew by, and I had won every game, expertly swindling every last chip from every gullible man who was lured in with the sight of an attractive dealer.
It was already 3:32, nearing the end of my shift. It would only be one more game.
My table was currently empty so I took the time to stretch out my arms and crack my knuckles. And it was during this time the seat in front of me was occupied.
For some reason, I wasn't surprised it was Spike. Fate had its cruel, taunting ways.
He didn't greet me with any familiarity as I stood before him, so I decided to do the same. We only exchanged curious first glances, but that was all.
I swiftly shuffled the cards and smiled to myself, thinking about how his loss would amuse me.
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As the game progressed, I was clearly winning. With my amazing luck of course.
I was conscious of the fact that Spike was staring at me. His gaze was completely boring into my figure.
Well. It proved to distract him because he lost all too quickly. I stuck out my palm, waiting for him to hand over his last chip, only to find him pocket it and wink at me. "I'll keep it for...good luck." Then he got up, striding toward the elevator.
He knew that would piss me off.
I fumed as I stalked after him heatedly. A sharp ring signaled my shift was over; it was exactly 4:00. Good timing.
He entered the elevator's open doors and watched me with a smirk as I walked to him. He held the motion-sensitive doors open with his foot until I got in and the doors shut, leaving only us in the elevator.
Before I knew what he was doing, he slammed the stop button with his fist and turned back to look at me.
"What did you take the chip for? I need it!" I said angrily.
"...Do you really want it?" He asked, teasing.
"Yes so.. give it back you moron!"
"I didn't know you worked here." He said calmly, changing the topic.
"I didn't know you gambled." I countered.
"...I don't."
"Then why the hell are you here?!" I asked, irritated.
He laughed. "Why else?"
I had a sinking feeling and I knew where this was leading to. I slowly backed up into the elevator wall and clutched the metal railing. "I need the chip..." I said, altering my gaze to the side.
He stepped closer so we were only inches apart. "Faye? Are you actually...nervous?"
I looked up quickly and met his eyes. "No! Of course not. Why the f—"
"Then that's perfect."
My eyes widened as he got even closer. I pushed him away and took a few steps to press the button for the 1st floor. I waited with my back toward him.
"I'm sorry, Faye...I—" He began.
I felt angry again and was the first to walk out when the doors opened, and out of the casino, hoping that I'd never have to confront him again.
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I strolled on the sidewalk alone, tightening my jacket around me. It was around five but it was already starting to get cold. With some woolongs actually in my card, I decided to treat myself by going out to eat. Good food always got my mind off of things.
I entered a small bar and sat on a stool closest to the end. There were only a few people here. Two seats down from me was a rather manly blonde woman with a cap who was stroking the fur of a grey cat that kept purring.
I turned back to the barkeep, another blonde, but this one looked more ditzy and had a high pitched voice as she asked me what I'd like. "Hm...I'll take..."
The sound of the metal door opening and closing made me look at who had entered. And again, it was Spiegel. All of a sudden, I didn't feel hungry anymore. Had he followed me here? He took a seat next to me and automatically greeted "VT and Zeros" and the barkeep as Muriel.
So he came here often. I was the one out of place. I got up, preparing to leave, but his voice stopped me.
"Are you mad at me, Faye?"
I looked at him from the corner of my eye. "Obviously."
He spun his stool so that we were face to face. "How can I make it up to you?"
I smiled and thought about it. There wouldn't be any harm if I made him do things for me. As long as he didn't try anything again.
"..Is there a limit?"
He laughed. "No."
I lit up as I started on the list... "Alright, starting from Monday, you'll carry my books for me, treat me out for lunch, drive me home after school, and pay for my dinner whenever we eat out."
He tilted his head. "And that's not asking me to be your boyfriend?"
I rolled my eyes. "Of course not, Spike. That would mean I'd have to like you back."
He sighed, his chest heaving with that one breath. "Fine, I'll be glad to, Miss Valentine."
"That's great. So now buy me my freaking dinner." I said, tapping my fingers on the countertop. "Now."
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The rest of the week flew by. It became almost like a routine.
I'd usually take the public bus to the college or once and a while, Electra would give me a ride. I didn't want to see Spike so early in the morning, but I still had my first class with him.
I got used to him walking beside me as we walked through the halls, lugging my bag and extra textbooks like a badge of honor.
I expected him to take me out to Trista Aria's for lunch every school day at 12.
It was okay for him to drive me to my apartment after school.
I allowed him to walk me to my door, but never any further. And I appreciated the fact that he didn't take advantage of me ever since that day at the casino.
I was so used to all of this, that it made me a little sick. I needed change, excitement, differences, surprise...
And this is what I thought about as I walked through the breezeway. Spike wasn't with me, and I was a little glad I had some time to myself, so that I could think.
I paused and rested with my back on the wall, the greenery displayed openly behind me. I closed my eyes momentarily and took a deep breath.
When I opened my eyes, Vicious was standing right next to me.
"Hello, Faye."
"Vicious? Oh...hi."
"I see you've been forcing Spike to be somewhat of your servant."
I grinned. "Yeah."
We looked at the students who walked past us for a while. I turned back to him. "So, have you been seeing anybody lately?"
"Actually...I have."
"Really?! What's her name? Can I meet her?"
He took a while to answer, unbuttoning his coat to occupy his time. "I...broke up with her."
"Oh...I'm sorry." I would have said more, but I saw Spike appear from around the corner, stare straight at us, and start walking in a beeline for Vicious and I.
"What are you two doing?" He asked suspiciously.
I opened my mouth but Vicious answered for me. "Can we not talk normally without people like you who are wary on everything?"
Spike smirked and took me by the arm. "Come on, Faye, it's time for lunch. I'll take you out to eat." He pulled me away and I looked back at Vicious, who was somewhere else as he stared at the cherry blossom petals floating in the air outside.
Maybe there was more to his story.
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As the days passed by, I realized I was starting to look forward to seeing Spike. He could make me laugh, smile, and get angry all in one breath. How could anyone do that? It bothered me that he had this kind of effect on my feelings. I started dreading the day when I knew I would do something uncharacteristic or let my guard down.
Sitting on my sofa at home, I remembered earlier today- an hour ago, when I had this conversation with him.
We were sitting on a brick ledge surrounding a small garden in the middle of a city.
"Hey... remember the first day and we were walking back to school after lunch with Vicious? And he told me you don't think about your ex-girlfriends after you left them?"
He looked at me, his expression saying, You still remember that? "Yeah. What about it?"
"Well I wanted to know... don't you sometimes remember things you used to do together, or what you liked about her, or hear her voice telling you something?"
He rested his head on his right shoulder, not answering.
I looked down on my feet before I let the words escape my mouth very slowly, and yet I could not stop them.
"So then, even though we're not really going out, after I'm gone... are you going to forget about me too? I just wanted to know."
He sat up suddenly and bore his eyes into mine, gripping my wrists too tightly. "No. I don't think I could ever forget someone like you."
And with that, he leaned in to kiss me softly on my lips. It was enough to take any doubt I had earlier, any uncertainty or fear, and throw it all away.