Lyrics credited to Taking Back Sunday – "One-Eighty by Summer"
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Chapter 6 : Mixed Emotions and Holding Back
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go on just say it
you need me like a bad habit
one that leaves you defenseless, dependent,
and alone.
are you afraid to say that you want to?
tell me you want to
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"So tell me Faye, you're really going out with him?" Electra asked, turning to me.
I looked away. "Where did you hear this from..." I said to the ground.
She laughed. "It's so obvious. You're acting differently."
I tried to glare at her but only succeeded in blushing.
"You know, I knew it was bound to happen." She said wistfully.
I rolled my eyes but a sad smile formed on my lips. "Don't worry, I haven't forgotten what you told me that first day. I know you're right. It's just that, I think.. maybe I could change him."
She smiled. "Maybe you can."
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Yes, I had fallen for him. The morning after our first kiss, we ended up a couple. I don't remember exactly how it happened; and why I was so quick to say yes. I just agreed to his subtle request. He was almost like a little kid wearing his heart on his sleeve.
"Faye... do you think you want to be my girlfriend? I mean, I know you like me now."
I had smiled and barely brushed his cheek with my fingers, delighted to see him close his eyes just to feel my hand there. I made my decision.
"Alright, Spike."
And after that, I got the change I was looking for. He carried all of my belongings like he used to, but he made it clear to everyone that we were together. Today, as we walked through the halls, he casually slipped an arm around my bare shoulders. Bare because of my pale yellow boatneck top that clung to the sides of my arms. I shivered when I felt the heat of his body through the sheer fabric of his dress shirt as he pressed himself closer to me.
"Are you okay?" He stopped to ask me.
"No..."
We continued on, other students glancing at us for simply a second, probably only thinking, "So they're finally together." Or, "I wonder how long this one will last..."
As we left the building and sat on a bench outside on campus, it only occurred to me now that he never answered my question from yesterday. I wouldn't bring it up now. At least for not a while.
"We have tomorrow off, Faye." His voice broke up my thoughts. I turned my head to look at him, the tips of his green hair blowing softly with the wind.
I smirked. "What, are you asking me out on a date?"
His laugh was deep and inviting as he shifted the strap to my shoulder bag to his other shoulder.
"Well in that case, sure, why not?" I said while I took his hand in mine and stood up, pulling him up along with me for our next and last class for the day.
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It was now Friday and we had today off for some idiotic holiday that we left nameless. Yesterday I had told him to surprise me and he left me at the door to my apartment with a wink and his assurance, "Will do."
And so here was today, with my hair in a tight bun with my bangs hanging down, and my face with little makeup on. My outfit was composed of a black sweater, white tank top and denim capris that ended right below my knee. I slipped on a pair of black high heels and sat outside on the steps waiting for Spike.
Soon enough I heard the roar of his engine and felt the heat from the tires. I glanced up just as he slammed the door to his car shut and he walked to where I was sitting.
I rolled my eyes as he knelt one knee on the step below me and stared into my eyes, his arms snaking around my waist until they rested on the stone I was sitting on. He didn't say anything so I decided to lean in closer, tilting my head so my lips were a breath away from his. It felt good to feel the heat from his mouth so close to mine. His eyes were expecting so of course I pulled back before our lips could meet.
"Hm...maybe later." I could sense his frustration.
I took him by the arm, standing up and jumping down the steps and walking to his sleek black convertible.
"Come on Spike, there's no fun if we waste the whole date on the steps to my apartment."
I saw his smile from the side, his teeth shining in the sun. The engine was still running. He gripped the leather of the steering wheel before pressing his foot on the metal.
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I had put on my sunglasses and at the speed Spike was going down the highway, my hair was blowing around me like crazy, my hairstyle long ruined. We kept laughing as we sped down the empty road, for no reason at all.
Eventually we stopped and I took the time to take in we were in a quiet and secluded beach. Spike got out of the car first, walking in front of the hood over to the passenger seat and opening my side door. I let him help me out.
"This is it." He said as he stuffed his hands into his pockets, looking out onto the sparkling waves.
I took off my sunglasses and shook my head, the single movement settling my purple hair straight. I looked down at my apparel. "Spike. I'm not really dressed for this."
He looked at me. "Well, you did want a surprise, Faye." Suddenly he lifted me up in his arms as I struggled. "What are you doing?!"
He slipped off my heels and they fell softly onto the sand. He took off his own boots and socks and proceeded to run down to the shoreline.
He dropped me in the sand.
I stood up on my knees and rubbed my ass. "Ow. That hurt, Spike.."
He chuckled and plopped down beside me, folding his hands behind him and resting his head there. "Lie down next to me."
I frowned. "I'm not boring like you." I shrugged off my black sweater and held it in my right hand, holding it a foot from him before suddenly dropping it on his face. As he scrambled to pull it off and yell at me for being annoying, I ran down to the shore. Right now I didn't care about getting wet.
I ran in the water until I was knee deep, the waves gentle and sweeping about me. I turned around to look at Spike. "The water is warm, Spike! Come here!" But nothing was there except for my sweater and Spike's clothes- khaki suit pants and black blazer.
He was already in the water.
I turned around but it was too late; he tackled me from behind and we both fell underneath the water, the sand scattering at our pressure and murking the clearness of it.
I felt for his tangle of hair and found it in my left palm. I pushed his head down sharply, using the force to push myself out of the water. I gasped for air and recovered, trudging to the shore and collapsing in the sand on my stomach, my limbs sprawled outward.
Eventually I turned over on my back, staring at the sky that was too blue. The view suddenly changed to Spike's brown eyes. And he was still panting, out of breath.
"That was...tiring." I panted myself.
He smirked. "Hah, is Faye already worn out?" He teased. "But you can't be tired, yet." He leaned into me, his lips so close but not yet touching mine, like myself this morning.
"Why not?" I asked, acting uninterested.
"Because our first date isn't over." His words were merely hot breaths on my lips. I could feel his body over mine, both his hands supporting his weight.
"Not today, Spike." I laughed and pushed him off me, getting up and noticing the setting sun. "I have to get home. Thanks for the surprising date." I said sarcastically. He was already buttoning up his shirt. I put on my own sweater, put my sunglasses back on, slipped on my shoes and took my seat in his car.
And we were quiet the rest of the way home.
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In front of my apartment, I got out of his car but leaned in on the door with my elbows. He looked at me directly and our eyes were shining even in the dark.
"We should go on more ...dates." He said eventually.
"Yeah. We should." I agreed. "Today was fun. Surprise me again tomorrow?"
He revved his engine. "Meet you at nine in the morning." And then he was gone, driving off into the night.
I couldn't tell him, but, thus far it was the best day of my entire life. And I hated him for it.