Lyrics credited to Taking Back Sunday – Set Phasers to Stun
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Chapter 8 : Weeks Since Then
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well there's a secret I've been perfecting
I swore I wouldn't but you let me
I'm comfortably confused
and you, you've gotten so removed
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We strolled along the seemingly endless path that winded through Adelphi's vast botanical garden. My steps were light but his scuffed loudly against the pavement.
I paused to look behind us at the buildings that were getting smaller and smaller. He waited for me.
We then continued on through the path of sakura trees, the light escaping through and sending rays of sunshine to line the trail.
Every so often I'd quickly glance at Spike but then look back down at my feet. Eventually he got a little frustrated at my actions.
"What do you want to tell me?" He asked, his tone deep and casual, as usual.
"...so how long have we been together now? I asked idly. Honestly, I had a lot more on my mind.
He kicked a stone out of the path and I watched it roll in the grass. "Dunno." He was still, probably thinking about it himself.
I stopped to sit on a bench. Following my example, he sat down next to me, the worn bench creaking when he seated.
My words were long forgotten and was replaced with a long silence.
"I've introduced you to my family, right?"
"Yeah." I answered.
"What about yours?"
I looked at him. "I don't really have one."
"Really..."
"I do have an older sister though." I expected him to ask about her but he didn't. I still felt like continuing anyway.
"We don't talk...if we do...rarely. I tell everyone we have nothing in common, but deep down, I envy her. Only a little." I sighed and tapped my fingers across the planks of the bench where there was space between us, the sound distracting me for a time.
"She's so perfect. So unfeeling. So detached. How can anyone be that way? ..I wish I was." I turned to him but he was staring out at the greenery in front of us.
She's so much like Spike.
There was the sound of his hands shuffling inside his pockets, retrieving a single cigarette. Using his other hand, he flicked the lighter and a flame emerged. Satisfied, he let out a breath of smoke.
A lot of time seemed to pass.
"You're different from them, Faye." He pronounced every word slowly, like he thought the words through before he said them.
He paused to shift in his seat and tilted his head back to stare at the sky. "Do you remember what I said the first day?"
I flushed slightly. "Of course." I didn't know what else to say. I stared at the smoke rising to the sky in a single line.
"You want a cigarette?" He turned to ask me, grinning.
I smiled. "This'll be my first one."
--
Months had passed. It had been weeks since then. Since September, our first meeting. Since October, the beach. Since December, the bar. Since May.
I stared out the window to my apartment, looking down at the street below. I had told him to pick me up at seven. But of course I went outside to wait for him hours before.
The minutes passed by. Then the hours. The clock seemed too fast.
I stopped bothering to look at my wristwatch, the one he gave me for Valentine's. I briefly remembered what I had given.
I looked at him expectantly as he greedily ripped open the long box I had wrapped up the night before. He pulled out the tie and examined it.
"You don't like mine?" He asked frowning, looking down at the one he always wore.
"I do, but this one brings out the color of your eyes. Wear it for me?" I asked innocently, my eyes pleading.
He rolled his own and pulled off his boring black one. I helped him adjust it around his neck.
"How does it look?" He asked after I was finished.
I paused to think of a word, comparing the color of his eyes to the new cloth hanging down his shirt. "Perfect."
His smile struck a chord deep within my heart and I was blushing as he kissed me softly.
"Thank you, Faye."
He's been wearing the tie since.
I shook my head and went inside. I'd just wait for him there...
I dozed off in my chair, positioned in front of the window.
(in the morning)
When I woke up, sunlight poured through the glass I was staring out hours before. I suddenly remembered what I was doing on my chair and why I felt I mixture of irritation and anxiety.
I got up and walked to my front door which creaked as I slowly pulled it open. I stepped outside, rubbing my eyes and as my vision cleared, I examined the steps as if I'd find some sign of him.
Nothing...
I'd talk to him at school.
--
Call it a woman's intuition, but I started to feel anxiety gnawing at me when he didn't show up at where we usually met before school, a smaller corner by the water fountain.
Disappointed at his absence, I entered the 3rd building and wandered, weaving through other students in the hall.
It was easy to imagine him just slipping away from me one day. One day he would tell me he didn't love me anymore. Electra told me I was just being paranoid.
"Coming from the girl who warned me first, I don't think I can believe that." I told her and laughed nervously.
"Yo."
I looked up and there was Spike, sitting by the window. I took a seat next to him. I fidgeted uncomfortably but he was laid-back and relaxed.
"Faye, uh, about last night..." He looked away, trailing off.
"No, don't worry about it..." I looked the opposite direction.
Still turned away, he asked in a low tone, "Did you wait for me?"
I smiled sadly to myself. Of course I did.
"No. Not too long at least."
He turned to me. "That's good."
I pursed my lips. There was something different his eyes.
"Faye? Is...something bothering you?"
I laughed. "No!" As an afterthought I added, "Can I ask you a question?"
"You just did."
I slitted my eyes. "No, I mean another one."
"Faye. Just ask me."
"Actually...just forget it." Embarrassed, I leaned up to kiss him quickly on the cheek and deciding not to, I stood up awkwardly.
"I have to go." I looked back one last time, and he was still there staring at me, a frown still etched on his face.
He wasn't wearing the tie I gave him. Then again, it was insignificant. It really meant nothing.
Right?
I couldn't bring myself to ask him something so stupid, something so pointless. Something I knew the answer to.
Spike...
Are you getting tired of me?
--
"Faye. Faye. FAYE!"
"What the hell are you screaming at me for?" I asked as I clutched at my ringing ears.
"I never knew you were a daydreamer." Electra said, completely ignoring me trying to get my hearing back to normal.
"I was not daydreaming." I announced flatly.
"And now you're in self denial." She said, equally as flat.
"What are you trying to get at?" I raised an eyebrow at her.
She looked at me, studying my face. Then she came to a conclusion. "Man problems."
I burst out laughing. "Isn't that the only case?"
"No, not really." She burst out with a flurry of words. "There was that day you came to me because of some guy trying to kill you because you stole his ship—"
I covered her mouth with my palm and smiled uneasily at everyone who turned to look at us.
"What are you talking about, dear, dear Electra? I think you seem to have the problems today." I fake-coughed and ushered her out into the empty hallway.
"I need to talk to you." I blurted out.
"...in private." She added. "I have something to say as well."
(later)
"Why are we in the men's bathroom? That's probably the worst place to be." I commented as I stared at the gender sign outside.
"It was either this or the janitor's closet."
I grimaced.
"Don't worry, Faye...anyway, the women's bathroom was full. And men are less on gossip than girls. And less men use public bathrooms." She rushed to assure me as she pushed me through the swinging door. Good, it was empty.
I stared wide-eyed at the things on all the walls.
"Faye, they're not things. They're called urinals." Electra informed me, examining her hair in the mirror.
"Ew, don't look at that one. It's disgusting!" I pointed to one and turned away, crashing into the wall and panting loudly.
"Calm down Faye. Oh, look, there's one stall. Let's go into that one." I looked at the single booth and followed her inside. We locked it.
"Alright, you go first."
I closed my eyes. "I, uh, don't think... Spike... loves me anymore." I covered my face with my hands like a lovesick teenager.
"You're a lovesick teenager." She said patting my head. "And what did I tell you last time?"
"That I'm being paranoid." I rolled my eyes. "Right."
We sat in silence.
"Do you really love him?" She asked quietly.
"Of course..."
"How much?"
I paused. "With all my heart..." I laughed then.
Electra looked at me questioningly but then continued. "You have to trust him, Faye."
I felt like telling her that love wasn't as easy as she was making it out to be…but I decided to just shut up. "Come on, let's go outside."
We exited the stall and were about to push the door open, but then Spike came in. He looked at the me and Electra. And then back to me and then Electra.
"You know, I won't even ask." He smirked and walked inside and we walked out.
I let out a breath I'd been holding. "I told you that was the worst place to be." I looked back at her. "It's not funny, damnit." She continued to laugh.
After a moment I remembered something. "What were you going to tell me?"
"Hmm..." we walked side by side through the breezeway. "I heard this while I passed by the faculty room earlier. A girl named Julia Valentine is coming to Adelphi for the rest of June, as a fourth year. And I thought it was interesting that you both share the same last name..."
My mouth dropped down.
"What? What's wrong?"
"... I think perhaps, it's because I'm her sister." We simultaneously looked in front of us. And there she was- the perfect blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty.
"What are you doing here?" Now all three of us turned around to face Vicious. "...Julia?"
"What? How does he know her? And why does she know you?" Electra asked everyone point-blank.
I looked at her head-on, my eyes a little apologetic. "Maybe you shouldn't get into this one, Electra."