Disclaimer: I don't own YYH. sniff
WARNING: This chapter was co-written by KageYoukai. (For this chapter only)
A/N: this takes place a few months after the letter from "Silent All These Years." was sent.
Chapter One 1/2
The News
Botan and all the normal peopleses (Kurama, Yusuke, Keiko, etc. etc…) except Hiei were gathered at Genkai's temple. Botan had called them there with "important news."
"Everyone, I have an announcement to make!" she said happily. "I'm pregnant!"
She was then bombarded by thousands of, "WHO'S THE FATHER"'s and a single, "Congratulations" from the ever-polite Keiko. (Not even Kurama said congrats. He was too busy battling….himself.)
"Oh my God, Yoko, why didn't you tell me?!" screamed Kurama in the safety of his own mind.
"What did I do?" asked a confused Yoko.
"What did you do?! What did you do?! You know what you did!!"
"Okay, okay! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to fool around with your imaginary friend, it just…happened."
"Oh, God."
Kurama promptly passed out, much to the confusion of the others. Botan took advantage of the chaos and…ran off.
'Hm…Who could it be…?' Yusuke thought. 'Could it be…' "Koenma, you dirty bastard!" Yusuke muttered under his breath.
"What was that, Yusuke?" asked Koenma, poofing behind him.
"What? Nothing! Nothing at all! I know nothing!" Yusuke said, a little too fast.
"I can agree with that…" Koenma muttered, poofing away.
Later…
Yusuke ran up to Botan to confront her about his coughfalse discovery.
"Botan!" he called.
"What is it Yusuke?" Botan asked dryly.
"I know!"
"…Huh?"
"I know who it is!" Yusuke insisted.
"Oh, God you do?!" Botan yelled. "You-you haven't told anyone right…?"
"…Noooooooooooooooooo…"
FLASHBACK…
"Psst! It's Koenma!" Yusuke whispered to people he didn't even know.
END FLASHBACK…
"Well, I must say, I didn't realize you were interested in older men," said Yusuke.
"Really? I never did know how old he was…" Botan said. "I always thought he was younger. But…"
"Wait a second…" Yusuke thought for a moment. "For God's sake he's this tall! Don't you know who I'm talking about?!" Yusuke put his hand about a foot off the ground.
"Don't you think that's exaggerating it a little bit?"
"Wait…." he thought for another second. "Is it Koenma?"
"GOD NO YOU SICK, SICK PERSON!!" she whacked him as hard as she could with the oar.
"Okay, okay, sorry, I was wrong." He started to walk off. 'Wait…' He stopped some poor, random victim and whispered into his ear, "Pssst, it's Kurama!!"
"I HEARD THAT!!" Botan screamed. She started to chase after him, but then an anonymously thrown rock hit Yusuke in the head and he passed out. "Thanks!" she yelled into a nearby tree as she hit Yusuke numerous times.
SOMEWHERE ELSE…
"So," said Kurama, filling Hiei in on the news. Little did he know then, Hiei knew a lot more than everyone else. "Pretty crazy about Botan, huh?"
"Uh….Yeah…Uh huh…"
"Who do you think the father is?"
"How do you expect me to know?!?!?!" Hiei said a little too quickly, and a little to loudly.
"I didn't, I just---Wait, you can read minds right? You could find out!" Kurama said.
"Hn…"
"Will you?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because……I find it rude….." Hiei mumbled, obviously lying. Kurama fell over, anime-style.
"Since when did you---OH! Oh……………….." Kurama's face suddenly looked disgusted, horrified, and shocked all at the same time. "I-I-I-I-I………………………….Have...To…Go……..Do…that…thing….that…I'm…suppose…to…do…" Kurama ran away. Hiei stood, staring blankly for a moment before vanishing.
Later…
Yusuke was walking through the town with a heavily bandaged head, trying to think of who the father could be.
'Could it be…AHH! GASP!! Kuwabara?! Oh, my God, bad images be GONE!!' Yusuke began to whack himself in the head repeatedly. "Ow..ow. Ow..OW!!"
So, the freaked out Yusuke just happened to come across a very freaked out Kurama who was currently running away from his house.
Upon seeing each other, they both stopped what ever they were doing and yelled, "I KNOW WHO IT IS!" in unison, causing innocent passer-bys to stop and stare.
"Oh, my God isn't it just plain messed up?!" exclaimed Yusuke.
"Well I guess it does sort of make sense. I mean, opposites do attract sometimes, but…I never would have thought…." Kurama trailed off.
"Yeah, it just came to me after a good beating from Botan." he pointed to the bandages. "Never get on her bad side…"
"Maybe they're not as opposite as we thought, or maybe he's just rubbing off on her…"
"What? Kuwabara is never dangerous!"
Kurama got that same look as he had had before, with some added confusion and a 'you-sick-disgusting-pervert' look.
"What? Am I wrong? TELL ME!!" screamed Yusuke.
Kurama bashed his head into the wall a few times, and then turned back to Yusuke. "It's…Hiei!"
"NO!!! I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED! MY NEXT GUESS WAS MYSELF!! I did get pretty drunk at that party…Anyway, what do we do now?"
"Tell people!" Kurama had miraculously transformed into Yoko, causing the people to run away screaming, "IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!!!"
Anyway…Later…
All of the peopleses were gathered (again) at Genkai's temple. Everyone except Hiei and Botan, that is. They were off doing who-knows-what somewhere else. (Personally, I don't want to know. But, being the authoress, I am DOOMED to know.)
"Okay everybody, we know who the father is!" declared Yoko.
"Yep!" Yelled Yusuke.
They were then hit by a torrent of, "WHO IS IT?"'s and had to wait for the noise to die down.
"Now that everyone has kindly shut up." said Yoko dryly. "It's time to announce that the father of Botan's kid is…"
"WHOISITWHOISITWHOISIT??!"
"PEOPLE SHUT UP!!!" Yelled Yusuke. "Or we won't tell." Instant silence. "That's better."
"Okay, so the father is…" said Yoko.
"HIEI!" They both yelled. (Obviously, they had it planned out.)
"GASP" replied the audience.
"WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME BOTAN WAS HAVING A BABY? AND WITH HIEI OF ALL PEOPLE?!"
"Oh look, he's jealous!" jeered Keiko.
"How cute! -" said Yukina.
Koenma ignored them, just poofed away in the middle of a laughing riot. 'I'll give them a piece of MY mind!'
Somewhere else………
"Do they know anything?" Hiei asked.
"They haven't got a clue," said Botan.
Satisfied, Hiei leaned in to share a passionate kiss with Botan….right when Koenma poofed in.
There, didja like it? I'll update if I get reviews for it!!