Disclaimer: (shoots evil lawyer bunnies) DIE! HA! YOU CAN'T SUE ME! YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I DON'T OWN YYH! MUAHAHAHA! YOU HAVE NO EVIDENCE OF COPYRIGHT VIOLATION NOW! (Evil lawyer bunnies scurry off, heads hung.)

Authoress Note: This chapter was sorta co-written by Hisan Kage, who is sitting next to me right now. Not really sure how much she's going to participate in the co-written-ness. (Oh, and thanks go to Hisan Kage for the idea of this chappie!) (Clearly, she helps me a lot…)

Chapter Seven

Homecoming, Part One of Two

In the 48 hours that the new 'happy' families were in the hospital, Kurama and Shizuru planned out a "Welcome Home/Welcome…Here" party to celebrate their coming-home.

It took every waking moment to set things up. Shizuru had wanted to rent a bar but couldn't manage it on such short notice. (Well, there was this little pub in the bad part of town, but there was also a back-alley abortionist working behind it, so she passed it up. Also, Kurama politely pointed out that a bar wasn't a very good place for two newborns.) So, they arranged the party to be at Genkai's temple. They invited all of the Tantei and assistants, including Ayame and Koenma. (Koenma wasn't too happy about the whole Hiei-Botan thing, but he agreed to come when he found out the booze was free.)

And so, the day Akina, Kisho, Botan, and Keiko were supposed to be picked up, Kurama showed up in his mother's mini-van and whisked them and their rather surprised husbands/fathers to the temple for the, ahem, glorious celebration.

Kurama went through the door first, forgetting that he was supposed to let the new families go first, and everyone at the party minus Koenma jumped out and yelled: "SURPRISE, WELCOME HOME/HERE!" as though it had been perfectly rehearsed, when Kurama was the only one in the doorway. (The others were still trying to figure out how to get their kids out of the car-seats. Those things are tricky!)

"Aw, it's just Kurama!" moaned someone in the audience. Everyone anime-fell and Kurama sweat-dropped.

"Sorry!" exclaimed Kurama nervously. The crowd was advancing and looking quite murderous.

"All that practicing!" yelled someone. "For nothing!"

"Not for nothing, here they come now!" Kurama sounded just a tad desperate.

"He lies! He's a witch! Lynch 'im! Lynch 'im!" someone in the crowd jeered. (Their accent was Irish.) Obediently, the rest of the crowd of ogres, random Reikai personnel, and other friends the Tantei had come across over the years jumped on top of him, pulling his hair and scratching and biting and any other dirty fighting technique you can think of.

Then the door swung open again, and Hiei, Botan, Keiko, and Yusuke walked in with odd looks on their faces. Even the babies seemed to be looking at the pile of people with a, "This is my family?" look. Keiko covered Kisho's eyes.

Everyone looked up, and Kurama managed to pry someone's fingers out of his hair and free himself, crawling away unnoticed.

"W-welcome h-home/Welcome h-here!" muttered the crowd, embarrassed. They all stood up and brushed themselves off.

Shizuru stepped forward (She'd been standing by the wall, watching the riot beat up Kurama. What a nice co-host, eh?)

"Sorry about that…I guess a crowd half-filled with demons and ugly little blue men isn't the best of crowds for a party with children under ten. But hey, when it really gets down to it, you guys don't have many friends who know who you really are." she said with a small smile, lighting up a cigarette.

"I am NOT ugly!" protested an ogre who just happened to be walking by. Shizuru whapped him upside the head as Keiko eyed Shizuru's mouth oddly, covering Kisho's nose.

"No smoking around my baby!" she scolded. Shizuru looked mildly perturbed as Keiko stormed off, pulling Yusuke by the ear. Kisho was laughing at his dear father's predicament.

Shizuru turned to Botan, Hiei, and Akina, who were standing there with blank looks on their faces. "Are you non-smoking fanatic-people too?" she inquired, sounding just a little amused.

"Not at all." said Botan with a small smile. "But I need something to drink. Be back in a minute." She turned and left, and Hiei followed her without a word.

Hours later, the party was actually going. After much convincing, Shizuru had agreed to bartend at the rented some-assembly-required bar, and almost everyone was somewhat tipsy.

Jin and Touya had been dragged in somehow, maybe because Kurama had promised the SDF free drinks if they opened up a portal to Makai sohe could round up the more colorful part of their party crowd. (Kurama also neglected to mention that drinks were free anyway.)

At one end of the bar, Yusuke and Jin were engaged in a drinking battle to the death, encouraged by cheers of, "Chug, chug!" from the ogres. Touya and Yukina had disappeared somewhere, much to the dismay of Kuwabara. Hiei, who eventually found out fromthe devastated Kuwabara, didn't really seem to care all that much, surprisingly.

Keiko shut herself off in a corner with Kisho, muttering something about rowdy parties and Yusuke being an alcoholic. Kuwabara was desperately trying to find out where Touya had taken Yukina, convinced that he was going to rape, kill, or maim her despite Shizuru and Kurama's assurances that she would be just fine. Koenma sulked around in the corner opposite Keiko, Ayame trying to get him to dance with her. (J-Pop was blaring out of the rented speakers. And a few of the Reikai personnel were finding partners and dancing.)

Hiei and Botan were sitting at the bar with Akina, obviously they weren't going to be at all overprotective considering Akina got her first taste of rum to help her sleep. Genkai eventually went over to coach Yusuke. Kurama's folly earlier in the night was soon forgotten and he and Shizuru (Who made an ogre bartend in her absence) went out for a walk in the woods later in the night. Now, let's just devote a little section to everyone that matters, shall we?

Drinking is bad for you…

Yusuke and Jin's eyes were locked. The drinks were poured. The scene was set.

"Okay boys," stated the referee, an ogre who had magically appeared in a ref uniform, "I want a nice, clean fight, all right? Ready? CHUG!"

Yusuke and Jin didn't need to be told twice, the bottoms of their mugs went up and their Adam's apples were bobbing up and down almost too fast to see. The crowd around them jeered together and in a rhythm, "Chug, chug!" and Genkai yelled words of…erm…encouragement to her former student.

"You call that chugging, dimwit!" the old woman shouted in Yusuke's ear. "You're losing! Pick up the pace! C'mon, this is pathetic!"

"Mmmm mmmm mm MMMMM, mm MMM!" (translation: I'm doing my BEST, old HAG!)

"Talking wastes air, dimwit! Chug, c'mon!"

All of a sudden, Yusuke and Genkai were covered in beer, staring blankly at Jin and blinking in unison. Jin was laughing his head off, and had dropped his mug. He was laughing hysterically at the other two.

Moonlit walks make Kuwa paranoid…

"How could you let her go with him!" wailed Kuwabara pathetically, sinking to his knees and whimpering in despair. "That guy tried to kill you,Kurama! What if he pulls her off the path and then beats her, then rapes her, then rapes her again, then cuts off her face and buries her in the flow-eerrrrs!"

"Kuwabara, half the people we hang out with have tried to kill each other at one time or another," Kurama pointed out. "Take…oh, say Hiei for example. He stabbed me once. And tried to kill me in front of my ex. Actually," he added thoughtfully, "he was trying to kill Yusuke when he stabbed me…"

"OH MY GOD!" Kuwabara screamed. "I MUST NEVER LET HIM NEAR MY DEAR YUKINA AGAIN!"

Kurama sweat-dropped. "Erm…Sure," he said, unsure of what else to say. "Well, I'm going on a walk with Shizuru, seeya."

"WHAT?" Kuwabara screamed. "How could you try to form a romance with your friend's sister?"

Hiei, who had been walking past them at the time, gave a loud, fake cough that sounded like: "Hypocrite."

Shizuru walked out onto the porch, grabbing the hand that Kurama offered her. "Bye, little brother." she said smugly. "Maybe next year you'll meet some blind girl and actually start a relationship. No need to be jealous." she and Kurama laughed as they walked off, Kurama producing a bouquet of roses from no where as they walked toward the gardens.

"Nooooooooooo!" Kuwabara wailed, sinking down to his knees. "How could MYYukina have gone with him?"

Coincidentally, Hiei had been walking back through at that exact moment. "Go where with who?" he demanded.

"Outside with Touya."

Hiei looked thoughtful, then shrugged. "At least it's not you," and with that, he walked off.

It takes two to tango

"Oh, please Koenma-sama!" said Ayame desperately. "Just one dance? Come on! You can't just sit there and sulk the whole time!"

"No, Ayame. Leave me alone." muttered Koenma dismally, a slight hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Please? You know I'm not going to let you alone 'till I get what I want!"

"Ayame, I order you to-"

She cut him off, reaching into her pocket. "I was really hoping I wouldn't have to use these…" she said softly. "Are you absolutely sure you don't want to dance?"

"Yes. Now, I order you to-" his eyes widened and the pacifier almost dropped out of his mouth. "Where did you get those!"

Ayame smiled evilly, something she didn't get to do all that often. "I nicked them from your father. He has the ogres make albums, but you know he never looks at them." she held up a few pictures of Koenma being toilet-trained. He was sitting down on a multi-colored plastic training-potty, reading an upside-down book.

"And look, Lord Koenma! It's your favorite book! Everybody Poops, by Taro Gomi." (A/N:I don't own that book, but it does exist!) "Now, will you dance with me?"

"No! What do I care if you show those!" sniffed Koenma. Ayame shook her head.

"Then I'll have to show them…THESE!" she held up two more pictures, of Koenma learning how to pee. "Look how cute, you were so little back then!"

"NO!" screamed Koenma, lunging for the photos. Ayame tucked them back into her pocket.

"So will you dance?"

"Yes. I guess." grumbled Koenma. She squealed with delight, something else she didn't get to do that often, and led him out onto the dance floor. Avoiding the break-dancing ogres, they danced for one song, but as she tried to pull away from him, he pulled her back and said softly, "One more song."

Who forgot to give her her happy pills?

Keiko, sitting off in a corner in her own world, was rocking back and forth, stroking Kisho all Golem-esque.

"Alcoholic freaks…all have black lungs…my baby…never…stupid, drunken Yusuke…why did I marry…only you understand, and you can't talk….so dumb…I want go home…."

As his mother was sitting there, rocking back and forth ranting to herself, Kisho was getting bored. Already getting pretty clever because of his blood, he noticed a beer bottle laying nearby on the floor. Being not much bigger than a beer bottle himself, be figured that it would do.

He reached out as far as he could, taking hold of the bottle and gently slipping it into his mother's hands. She never noticed, because her left eye was twitching uncontrollably and her right was fixed on Yusuke's drinking battle. Kisho crawled over to his dad. She never even saw him go.

"Hey, little man!" Called Yusuke, bending over to pick up his son after finishing another drinking battle. Surprisingly, he wasn't drunk yet. "How'd you get over here?"

Kisho simply stuck his thumb in his mouth and pointed to his mom, who was stroking the beer bottle in Kisho's absence.

"Oh! Good job, little buddy!" Yusuke patted Kisho on the back and sat him up on the bar.

"You married a crazy one, didn't you?" commented Jin as he poured the next round.

Who says; "Don't give alcohol to babies"?

A crowd had gathered around Hiei, Botan and Akina. The little baby was setting fire to various objects with relative ease, while Hiei encouraged her.

"Hiei, sooner or later you'll be telling her to burn down our place!" Botan said jokingly. Then she glanced at the clock. "Oh, my! Is it that late already?" Sure enough, it was past midnight. "We've gotta get you to sleep," she said, picking up Akina.

"Aye, lassie, just give the lass a lit'le rum and she'll fall righ' a'leep," said a tipsy Irish ogre. Botan glanced at Hiei, who shrugged and walked off, in a way that said: 'You decide. I'm off.' Botan looked at Akina and said;

"Well, I guess a little wouldn't hurt…" Akina grinned and clapped her hands.

Soon, after five minutes and one thimbleful of rum, Akina was sleeping soundly in Botan's arms. Hiei returned, looking satisfied.

"What's going on?" asked Botan.

"I don't have to kill Kuwabara anymore," answered Hiei. "Of course, I probably will anyway." Botan rolled her eyes and looked down at her baby's sleeping face.

"Kill, kill…" murmured Akina softly in her sleep.

Hiei's eyes filled with pride. "Her first words, I'm so proud!" he said with mock enthusiasm.

Botan looked shocked. "What! Hiei, what have you been teaching her?"

FLASHBACK HIEI…

Botan had wandered out of the hospital room long enough for Hiei to try and teach his daughter some new vocab.

He held up a flashcard with a picture of himself killing Kuwabara on it. "Okay, Akina, 'kill.' Can you say 'kill'?"

END FLASHBACK

"Nothing…she's just smart, I guess…."

All too soon, it was time for everyone to go home. At 2:15, the party was cut short because Genkai wanted everybody out of her house so she could sleep. (An old woman like her needs as much beauty rest as possible, you know.)

Kurama and Shizuru said goodbye to everyone at the door, fulfilling their duty as co-hosts of the party. It took about a half hour, but finally all of the guests were gone, leaving Shizuru and Kurama all alone.

Well, pretty much. Jin and Touya were paying Genkai for rooms so they could spend the night, and Yukina and Genkai herself were there, obviously, but they were the only ones in the main room.

Music was still playing, a conveniently slow tune. Kurama offered her a hand.

"Want to dance?" he asked, emerald eyes tinted slightly with gold, a sign he was feeling mischievous. Ignoring this, Shizuru nodded.

"Why not?"

He led her out and pulled her close, and they swayed back and forth in silence for a moment before Kurama spoke.

"It's been a while hasn't it?" he asked, looking down at her.

"Yeah. But no one knew until tonight."

"So maybe we should finalize things?" he smiled and stepped back, kneeling and pulling a small red box out of his pocket. Shizuru gasped.

"Are you…?"

"Yes. But only on one condition."

"And that is…?"

"Stop smoking."

Shizuru pulled her newest pack from her pocket and threw it behind her. He opened the box to reveal a white gold ring with a single diamond set in the middle. Simple, yet beautiful.

"I will!" She exclaimed as he fitted it easily onto her finger. He stood afterwards, sweeping her off her feet and twirling her around a few times before carrying her out the door and off into the night.

A littlerandom Kurama/Shizuru moment at the end, gotta add that to the summary. Anyway, I know that was long, but review please. Part two is coming soon!