Disclaimer: I don't own YYH. Haven't I said that enough times? Oh well. This is the last chapter, anyway.
Authoress Note: Yes, those of you who bothered to read the authoress note read correctly. This is the last chapter of Years Go By. You may weep and mourn now! But, cry not, for I have decided to write a sequel to this! And guess what else? I'm taking a poll from the reviewers! In your review, please vote on how old you think Akina and Kisho should be. The possible time periods to vote on are preschool, middle school, or high school. So, if you wanted the sequel, then vote! I need your opinions, due to my own indecisiveness.
This chapter is dedicated to Hisan Kage, who just got home from Europe. She provided me with about half of the ideas for this chapter, thus inspiring me to write more. I hope you all enjoy, and welcome home, Kage!
Chapter Nine
Wedding Blues
Three Years Later
It was finally the day of the wedding, three years after the actual proposal. Why did it take so long for Kurama and Shizuru to tie the knot? It had taken two and a half years for Shizuru to quit smoking for good, and another six months to plan the wedding. (Not to mention the fact that the bride and groom had been waiting for the ring bearer and flower girl to grow up enough to fulfill their duties.)
But finally everything was set, perfectly planned. No doubt it would have gone off without a hitch, had Shizuru not forgotten the veil in her hotel room before she left.
Later on, it was agreed that the forgotten veil was what had triggered the entire incident. Because the veil had been forgotten, Shizuru insisted that the wedding would have to be held off until Keiko returned with it. I mean, what kind of bride doesn't have a veil?
So, Keiko headed off on a quest to go and get the veil from Shizuru's hotel room, an hour round trip allowing time for the woman to get up to the top floor using the stairs (The elevator was unfortunately broken), get into Shizuru's room, and retrieve the veil, then do the whole thing again going back.
During this hour, the anxious groom started to have second thoughts at the altar. He was standing at the raised dais at the front of the chapel with the groomsman and the grudging best man, Hiei when Botan, the maid of honor, took one of the microphones that the yet-to-be-revealed minister was going to use during the ceremony.
"Hello everyone…wait…lemme turn this thing on…oh, look at that! It is on! Okay! Well, on to business. The ceremony is being postponed by an hour due to our beloved, forgetful bride! Please wait patiently in your pews for the ceremony to begin. Thanks!"
Kurama, who had already been incredibly flustered, looked as though he might cry. He turned back to his four groomsmen for advice.
"You guys, I don't know if I can go through with this!" Kurama exclaimed in a hushed voice.
"Then don't." Hiei said flatly. "The sooner you run off, the sooner I get out of this annoying tux."
"Hiei!" Yusuke, Kaito, and Kurama's stepbrother said in scolding tones.
"C'mon, Kurama! You're the infamous Yoko Kurama! You've faced much more terrible things than marriage!" Yusuke said in an invigorated voice.
"Yoko…Kurama?" Kurama's stepbrother said in a confused tone.
"Nothing…video game character…y'know, from younger days…" Yusuke said airily, waving the question off nonchalantly.
"You're certainly one to talk, Yusuke." Kurama hissed. "Everyone knows you postponed your own wedding by three days because you ran off with cold feet!"
"So…?" Yusuke said in a defeated tone. "Keiko is scarier than Shizuru!"
"Try living with her!" Kurama retorted. "Shizuru can be a freaking slave driver!"
"Shuichi, I thought you were in love with Shizuru." Kurama's stepbrother said.
"Yeah, and I love her still! But Botan is right! She's forgetful and violent! What if…what if we have kids and she forgets to feed them or something!"
"At least she's smart! I'm mated to the world's biggest bubblehead!" Hiei snorted.
"Do any of you people like your wives?" The stepbrother asked, just as Kaito interjected,
"At least you guys can get women!"
"Nonsense, Kaito!" Yusuke said brightly laying a hand on Kaito's shoulder. "I saw a nice-looking young lady hitting on you at the bachelor party!"
"That was a man in drag!" Kaito whined.
"Oh…"
At this time, Botan approached the mic again.
"Hello again." the crowd shared a collective groan. "Well, one of our bridesmaids Keiko returned with the veil! So in a few moments, the wedding will finally begin!" The crowd cheered, but amidst the cheers, Keiko came up to Botan and whispered something into her ear. Botan's face fell and she put the microphone back up to her mouth, waiting for the din of the crowd to die down. "Well, people, I'm sorry to say that although Keiko did return with a veil…it was the wrong one." Once more, the crowd groaned. "But we'll have the real one back here in an hour or so!" The crowd groaned and some people threw their hands into the air. A few guests rose to leave. Feeling pressured to do something to save the wedding, she said hurriedly, "But in the meantime, entertainment from myself and the groom along with the groomsmen! Aren't you all so excited?"
The crowd cheered, and Botan went over to the guys and pulled them to center stage. "Work with me, guys!" She hissed, and then she started to make up a random, humorous song about a groom with cold feet. Kurama promptly passed out to a roar of approval from the crowd, who thought it was an act.
One hour later, the groom had been revived, and the correct veil had been retrieved. Botan went up to the mic once more and announced that the wedding would begin in ten minutes. The crowd rejoiced merrily.
And then, ten minutes later, the organ player started up the famous wedding tune, "Here Comes the Bride." But, the old man who had been playing the song only made it past the first few measures. Since the wedding had been postponed for a little over two hours, the old codger was becoming a little tired. So, in the middle of the first phrase of the song, the old organ player passed out. The effect was a little like this. (You know the tune!)
"Naa na na naaaa…naa na na naaaa….naa na na na na na naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…….."
That's right. The old man fell right onto the keyboard, elongating the note he had passed out on for WAY longer than necessary. The first few people to come down the aisle up to the altar stopped in their tracks, staring at the organ with disturbed expressions until some kindly guest removed the old man from the keyboard and laid him down on the long organ bench. After that, the procession continued along to the wonderful sounds of silence, until one of the other guests struck up a few people to hum the tune in the absence of the organ.
First up the aisle was the maid of honor and best man, Hiei and Botan, walking up with linked arms to the head of the line where the other groomsmen and bridesmaids would so line up.
"Kaito told me about your nasty comments about me earlier," Botan hissed through her clenched, smiling teeth. "I'm not too happy about that. And you know what else? Akina told me that she was going to rip out 'my precious voice-box' this morning. I told you, no more death threat lessons until she turns five!"
"Later, Botan! Now is not the time!"
"Of course now is the time, Hiei! We're in a church! Wait, how did you get in here? I though bloodsucking leeches like you had to be invited inside!"
"Hn." he said as they separated, heading up the steps at opposite sides of the dais, stopping at opposite sides of the altar, facing the crowd. Next came Keiko and Yusuke, having a similar argument.
"Kaito said that you're scared of me. Why is that? I thought you married me for love, not fear!" Keiko whispered, looking around the chapel and pretending not to be talking to her husband.
"Of course I married you for love, honey! But certainly not for the kind of love we have at night…yep, that's right…" He looked around the chapel with shifty eyes. Keiko resisted the urge to slap him.
"Yusuke, cuddle-bug." she said in a sickeningly sweet voice. "You're in luck, then. Because we won't be making that kind of love for a loong time."
As the two separated to go up the opposite sets of stairs, Yusuke whimpered.
Next was Kurama's stepbrother and Yukina, and then the extra groomsman, Kaito, walked down the aisle alone. Then was the ring bearer, bearing an empty pillow. No one bothered to question this out loud, but plenty of people were left wondering what was up.
And then, finally, the guests stood up and looked toward the doors since they knew that the end of the procession was near. Akina emerged from the double doors pompously, throwing deep red rose petals in the guest's faces as she toddled down the aisle in a light blue dress.
"Hey!" one particular guest made the mistake of protesting. "Stop it!"
Akina, who had been the absolute picture of innocence aside from her violent flower throwing, stopped halfway down the aisle and grabbed the protester's necktie, pulling him down to her height.
"Listen to Akina, mister!" she hissed at him, jabbing a finger in his face. "Talk to me again and I rip out your precious voice-box!"
The man raised his hands in a gesture that clearly said, "All right, all right," and then she released his tie, continuing down the aisle flinging flower petals in people's faces. Botan lowered her head into her hands and muttered something along the lines of "WHY am I letting him corrupt my sweet, innocent flower!" Hiei appeared smug and proud. Well, he did until the doors opened for the final time and Shizuru and Kuwabara stood in the doorway. The two stepped out, Shizuru's veil doing a poor job of masking her red face. Kuwabara looked as though he might cry.
Now, the two were halfway down the aisle, and Kuwabara was about to break down and cry right then and there. But then, when the two were almost in the clear, at the time when everyone thought that the rest of the wedding was going to work out fine…
Kuwabara realized he'd forgotten to put on a belt that morning, and down went his tux pants, revealing his tighty-wighties to the entire world.
Everyone in the chapel shielded their eyes as the red-faced Kuwabara quickly tried to pull up his pants before anyone noticed. Unfortunately for him, not a soul in the entire place hadn't seen.
Yusuke, thoroughly disgusted, leaned over to Hiei who was masterfully trying to cover all three eyes, even though he was wearing his normal bandanna. "I thought we answered the 'boxers or briefs' question a loong time ago…"
"Apparently not." Kaito put in, still looking away even though Kuwabara had managed to pull his pants back up and give the bride, Shizuru, away to Kurama.
Just as Kurama was about to go and help his wife-to-be up the steps, however, Hiei decided to whisper frantically in the groom's ear: "Ohmigod, Kurama," in an overly dramatic manner. Kurama gulped and went down to take his fiancée's hand.
And, at that time, the doors behind the altar dramatically burst open, revealing the Mystery Minister to the entire congregation. It was…
"GENKAI!" the entire Reikai Tantei who was present exclaimed, even though they were trying to maintain some type of formality to the haphazard wedding.
"Yes, kids, it's old grandma with a fresh kick in the nuts for you all." she smiled evilly.
Kurama gaped open-mouthed at the old woman as she stepped up onto the stack of books that had been placed behind the altar, making herself tall enough to see over the wooden thing.
"Before we begin," the old woman began, "I have a message from a very important guest who couldn't make it today because they had an appointment with their therapist. His name is Koenma, and he thinks, for some reason, that he is prince of the 'Spirit World.' What a load of crap!" the crowd collectively agreed. "But, no matter how crazy he gets, people just consider him 'eccentric' because of his ridiculous wealth. And so, I now present the bride and groom with Koenma's gift!" she turned around and pointed upward. Down came a ridiculously large poster of baby-form Koenma with one foot on the ogre and his right hand in a 'V-for-Victory' position. The crowd sweatdropped, and Kurama was so embarrassed he felt lightheaded.
"Now that that's taken care of, on to business." Genkai said briskly, sorting through her papers and finding the correct one. "Here we go. Now, we are gathered here today…blahdee blahdee blah….what a load of crap this is, eh?" The crowd agreed again. "Anyway, let's just skip to the vows. Now, the couples wrote their own this time around, so we'll just turn the mic over to them, won't we?" The crowd nodded intelligently.
Kurama was supposed to go first, but when he asked Kisho for the ring, the little boy smiled evilly and reached up his nose, pulling out ring number one. The crowd made disgusted noises.
"That's m'boy!" Yusuke said proudly, elbowing Kurama's stepbrother and pointing.
"Ow…" murmured the stepbrother-whose-name-is-not-important.
Kurama pulled some antibacterial spray from his pocket and sprayed the ring, taking it delicately into his hand. "Okay then…" he stammered, holding out the ring for Shizuru. She grudgingly held out her hand, though her expression clearly said she didn't want that germ farm on her finger. Kurama then realized that he had forgotten his vows.
Prepared for anything, he pulled a yellow post-it note from his pocket and cleared his throat, sweating profusely.
"Um…I-I love you, Suzie…I mean Shinoka…or Shizuka…or…."
"Shizuru," whispered Hiei helpfully.
"Shizuru! That's it! And…and I want to spend the rest of my….l-life or lives, depending on circumstances…with you. And…yeah. Just, can we get this over with before I--"
At that moment, Kurama passed out.
After Kurama was revived (again), the family of the couple decided it was for the best if the ceremony was finished elsewhere and the guests were just sent to the outdoor bar for a while before the reception. After the five-minute condensed ceremony, the triumphant couple emerged from the empty chapel with smiling faces, Kurama carrying the bride, you guessed it, bridal style.
The crowd cheered, and for a moment, everything seemed like it would be okay. Hint the: 'for a moment,' because right after that moment, Kurama tripped on the stairs and started to fall over. In an act of desperation, he most unceremoniously threw the bride into the air in an attempt to save her from crashing into the cement. Yusuke, trying to impress Keiko with his gentlemanly ways, hurried forward to catch Shizuru. But everyone in the crowd was too busy watching the bride come back down after being chucked twenty feet in the air to remember the unfortunate bridegroom as he crashed into the cement. Only after Yusuke had caught the bride and put her back on her feet did anyone remember that Kurama was lying facedown in a marked-off area with a sign that read, "WET CEMENT."
Once the groom was pried from the wet cement sidewalk and all of the dried ships of cement had been removed from his face, the guests were herded into the reception hall for the complimentary wedding dinner.
Once more, it seemed like everything would end up turning out just fine. The caterers managed to get the food all out on the tables with no problem, all of the guests liked the food, and the chocolate fountain that Shizuru had ordered for the dessert table was a complete hit. Everyone was having a good time, and up at the head table the bride and groom were glowing with happiness. (Kurama's second thoughts had been banished once the crowd was gone. Whoda thunk that Kurama had stage fright?)
The best man and maid of honor speeches went surprisingly well, too. Even the flower girl and ring bearer were subdued by dinner long enough for everyone else to enjoy it, and the families in attendance all seemed to be getting along famously. For the first time all day, something was going right.
Well, it seemed that way, at least.
After all of the 'everything-is-going-right' stuff, the mystery DJ that Yusuke had hired for Kurama and Shizuru got up into his all-powerful DJ booth and started to play some music for the guests. After a few songs for kicks, he picked up the mic and cleared his throat. The crowd fell silent.
"All right everyone, it's that time again. It's time for the newly wedded couple's first dance." he said. His voice was strangely familiar, but neither Kurama nor Shizuru could place it.
"This is a very special song that Shuichi picked out just for Shizuru. So, come on you two, it's time for your dance!"
Kurama stood and offered his hand to Shizuru, who took it with a smile. The two headed for the dance floor and waited for the music to start. When it did, neither one of them moved. They didn't recognize the music until the first few words echoed through the reception hall.
"I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie! You otha bruthas can't deny! And when a girl walks in wit a iddy-bitty waist, and a round thing in yo' face you get SPRUNG!" The crowd murmured oddly, wondering what the meaning of the whole thing was. Shizuru and Kurama turned beet red and stalked over to the DJ booth. Kurama threw open the door and looked inside, and there, lo and behold, was Chu, Touya, and Jin. All three of them were wearing enormous grins as they laughed hysterically.
"Turn that OFF!" The couple screamed angrily, and Chu obliged, laughing uncontrollably. Jin and Touya managed to sneak out of the back door of the booth, leaving Chu to suffer the wrath of the married couple.
Ten minutes and one very bloody Chu later, the couple emerged from the DJ booth with triumphant smiles. The so-called DJ Chu was replaced by one of the guests, and the reception went on as planned.
Until the ring bearer and flower girl got bored with the dancing.
The two little ones, so small that they often went unnoticed, were intrigued by the chocolate fountain. And who could blame them? It's not every day you see a shiny, flowing mass of chocolate.
Akina, ever the smart one, showed Kisho how to get up on the display table to get a closer look at the fountain. The two toddlers heaved themselves up and got behind it, hoping no one had noticed them.
"We push it!" Akina cackled evilly.
"I dunno…" Kisho said uncertainly.
"Sissy! Push!" Akina demanded. Shrugging, Kisho obliged. They stuck their hands into the curtain of chocolate covering the base of the fountain and pushed when they found the hard plastic rod supporting it. The whole thing toppled over, leaving the toddlers exposed and giggling uncontrollably.
Unfortunately, the chocolate-covered Shiori was not as amused.
After Kurama's mother was escorted to the hospital, the other guests tried to keep the mood light toward the end of the failed wedding/reception. To make a long story short, most of the guests left after the failed 110 yen dance, but the rest left after the bride almost choked to death on the wedding cake.
Once all the people were gone except the bride, groom, and clean-up crew, Kurama plopped himself down into a chair and held his head in his hands. Shizuru, still wearing her wedding dress, laid a hand on his shoulder.
"What's the matter?" she asked him in a consoling tone.
"Today was an absolute failure." he said wearily. She sat down next to him.
"No it wasn't," she replied. "I had the absolute best time of my life!"
"You're lying."
"No, I'm not. Not every girl gets a wedding as fun as that. Hell, I even got to fly today. You sure threw me high enough when you tripped."
Kurama looked up smiling. "You mean that?"
"Yes, I do, koi. Now, let's get home. We're still packing for the honeymoon, you know."
Kurama stood and so did she, but as soon as she was upright he picked her up gracefully and spun her around bridal-style, kissing her lightly. After that, he carried her outside and to the car, gazing at her fondly the entire time. He was so lost in her eyes, in fact, that he didn't even notice when he stepped right in the wet cement again.
Fin.
Another KuramaShizuru moment at the end. That chapter was fun to write but I don't think it was very good. Please review with your thoughts, and since this is the end, please tell me your favorite quote or part of the story as a whole. Ja! More stories to come! (Oh and remember to vote on the sequel!)