Welcome Back! I finally got back to my keyboard, and now here I am, typing up my next chapter in this bizarre fanfic which I have dubbed "Can I Push Your Button?". There will be some changes in this chapter; the most predominant of which will be that this story will no longer be written in 'script format'. This change is a result of two things: the first being that it is an independent decision of my own free will. And the other being either:
a) Script format is indeed against the rules of Fanfiction.
b) Uber Flare is a liar who likes to make things difficult for people (like me) who are too lazy to read all of the rules of this website.
Also I will perhaps reformat (not delete) chapter 1 in the future, if I get the chance. Also, I find it rather difficult to believe that only 3 people gave me reviews: If you read this, then tell me what you think (That's what Read & Review means). In this manner, I can know if the writing I'm doing is acceptable or not. (Yes, this means that you can flame me if you think it is necessary).
This second chapter will probably be longer than the last one, but as of this point, I'm not really sure how long it will be.
WARNING: this chapter contains a lot of Genis bashing! If you are a big fan of Genis, then I suggest that you find yourself a new favorite character!
I do not own Tales of Symphonia, any of its respective characters, the Tower of Salvation, Spongebob Squarepants MAD magazine, The Stupids, Pac-man, Board of the Rings, South Park, or the Beatles.
ONWARD!
Lloyd was looking the elevator up and down, trying to figure out why it had been built this way. It looked as though it had been rather plain at one time or another, but sense it didn't have so much as a "do not cross" ribbon, the mobile room had been exposed to the graffiti of both the dirty minded and uneducated citizens of Sylvarant.
Both inartistic and dim-witted messages written in cheep spray-paint overlapped one another, and all were smeared by both the rain and the urine of dumber-than-most ogres. Some of the messages wrote "4 A GOOD TIME CALL PRONYMA AT-" the phone number was covered up with "ALL HAIL PAC-MAN!". Other messages included "CALL ME NOSEFINGER", "N.A.M.B.L.A. FOREVER", "I AM THE WALRUS", "UP WITH BUBBLES DOWN WITH AIR", "THE POLICE HAVE KIDNAPPED MY CHILDREN!", "WHAT, ME WORRY?", "ARE YOU NOW, OR HAVE YOU EVER BEEN...", "SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT MILK IS BAD FOR YOU!", "COO-COO-KA-CHOO!", "ZELOS WAS HERE", and many other things that would earn an M-rating for this story. But that's not important right now! The point is that Lloyd found this to be a very small elevator, which could not hold two or more of any of their party at a time. Everyone would have to go up individually!
"Alright everyone!" He said, tuning around to view the disorganized group that he had been forced to travel with for almost a year now, "It appears that we can only fit one person into the elevator at a time. And sense we have no idea as to what could possibly be waiting for us on the top floor; we have to assume the worst. Any volunteers?" As you might have expected, no one did so much as make eye contact with him. "O.K., does anyone have any ideas on how we could rule someone out to go first?"
Suddenly Genis yelled in his high pitched, post-puberty voice, "How about we flip a coin?"
"There are six of us, numb-nuts!" Sheena yelled, amazed at his stupidity.
"Exactly!" Genis countered, "A coin has six si...! Oh yea, that's right."
"Hey! Does anyone have some dice?" Kratos yelled, a rare moment of intelligence for him.
"I have some trick dice!" Colette exclaimed, pulling a red number cube from her pocket.
"Close enough." Lloyd shrugged, "Call it! I pick four."
"Um, One!" Picked Kratos.
"Three!" Colette chose.
"Er, five!" The Professor yelled.
"Six!" Sheena declared.
"Eight!" Genis called.
"GENIS!" everyone yelled.
"Uhhh... I mean two!" Cried the boy who was still having trouble counting.
"Whoever's number gets called, they go up first!" Said Lloyd, nodding to Colette to chuck her communist-colored cube. Everyone held their breath (except for Genis, who picked his nose, uninterested in the results) as they waited for the cube to come to a stop. It soon bounced in such a way that it began to spin on one of its corners. It continued spinning like this until it finally came to a halt: balancing perfectly on its point!
"What the HELL?" Lloyd yelled, not believing what was in front of him. Outraged, he blew on it to knock it off its balance, but the number cube only wobbled on its point a bit.
"Whoa! I've got to RESEARCH this!" Raine exclaimed; fascinated by this phenomenon that was defying the laws of physics in front of her.
"Colette, what kind of trick dice is that!" Sheena implied.
"Oh yea!" Colette replied, "I forgot, that thing is broke!" At this, everyone got a huge anime sweat drop (except for Raine, who hadn't herd Colette, and was too busy doing RESEARCH on the broken trick dice, still balanced on its corner).
"Forget it!" Lloyd boomed, "I'll just decide who's the most expendable among us, and we'll send them up this damned 'elevator of the unknown'!"
"WHY YOU?" the others protested.
"Because I'm the only one of us that doesn't have A.D.H.D., I'm the only good choice in battles as a playable character, and I'm also the main character!"
"O.K." mumbled the others, knowing that any effort to argue would be in vain.
"These traits also make me the least expendable of us." Lloyd continued in a dictating tone. "Now the second least expendable of us defiantly would be Sheena..."
"I knew he liked me!" Sheena thought to herself as she felt the balloon that was the symbolic representation of her ego swell to incredible size.
"...because she's our sex symbol!" Lloyd stated; unaware that he had just taken a flaming hot pin to Sheena's 'ego balloon', and popped it to tiny bits. "Third least expendable," he continued, "is Colette: Because according to this thing..." He whipped out 700 sheets of paper connected by one enormous staple. The top sheet had 'Tales of Symphonia Script' written on it in black, size 12 font lettering, "...we're love interest; and I guess that counts for something." Everybody gasped in complete shock. Lloyd and Colette were love interests of one another? This was the biggest surprise they had got throughout their entire journey! From the start of this quest, there had never been ANYTHING that would even remotely lead anyone to even assume that Colette and Lloyd had a thing for each other! Oh, well!
"Next least expendable..." He continued a bit taken aback at the fact that everyone else (with the exception of Colette) was surprised at the existence of his and Colette's relationship. ("After all," he pondered to himself, "if the writers of game hinted in on our relationship any more, Colette and I would probably be connected at the waist at all times!") "...is Kratos, whose fighting skills are equal to those of Genis's, as are their personal hygiene habits. But the tie-breaker rests in that unlike Genis, Kratos is not a complete and utterly hopeless nitwit."
At this Genis triumphantly exclaimed to Kratos, "HA, HA! I'm dumber than you!" Nobody considered him worthy of being noticed at that moment.
Lloyd continued his speech, "That places Kratos as our fourth least expendable, and Genis as our fifth least expendable. This leaves us with..." Everybody's head turned toward Raine; who was still on the ground RESAERCHING Colette's broken trick dice that even now remained perfectly balanced on its corner.
Raine soon became aware of two things. First, she noticed that the chatter that had been going on in the background had suddenly ceased. And when she turned her head in the direction of the others, she became aware of a second thing: everyone was staring at her, and they all had the same grim, merciless expression on their faces. "Um... Hi! I didn't do anything wrong, did I?"
Lloyd took this moment to finish his sentence from two paragraphs back, "...Rane; the one among us with almost no capability of attacking the enemy and retaining not much of any ability other than a healing technique, some supporting magic skills that offer scrawny amounts of additional power, and a love of RESEARCH. These qualities make you our most expendable party member, and the one whom will have the privilege of being the first to ride the elevator to the top. Let's get 'er!"
Raine had not been listening to what Lloyd had been talking about earlier, but the end of his speech (especially the last three words of it) left her frightened beyond words. And though she tried to make a run for it; by the time that she got up off of the ground; Sheena was holding her left leg, Colette her right, Kratos was at her right arm, and Genis was at holding her left arm (in his mouth like a dog). Raine was not very pleased at being all horizontal and getting carried around two feet above the ground. "But this isn't fair!" She protested, "You can't just decide to send me into the unknown all alone! What about the dice method of choosing who should go?"
Lloyd, who was twirling around Rane's rotting oak staff, snapped his fingers and said, "Oh that reminds me. Hey Colette: Catch!" He swatted the corner-standing, broken trick dice of Colette's back to her with the Professor's staff; golf-style. Colette reached for it with one hand (her other was occupied holding Raine's leg) but fumbled it and it fell to the ground.
"Hey everyone!" Colette hollered, "It didn't land on its corner!"
Desperate, Professor Sage pleaded, "What number is it?"
Colette looked closer, "Five." She said.
"YOU PICKED FIVE!" Everyone yelled, pointing at Raine.
By this time, the group had reached the elevator and heaved the Professor into it. Lloyd threw her staff in after her as Sheena reached into the elevator looking for the control panel. She soon found it, and her eyes locked on the key with the infinity sign next to it. It was in this moment that the poor Professor, all battered and bruised from being thrown into such a small space, looked up to see Sheena with a rather OOC evil glint in her eye as the Mitsohoian uttered five peculiar words, "Can I Push Your Button?"
DING!
FIN!
WOW! That was a long chapter. I hope I didn't get too rough with Raine there at the end, that's just the way it came out. Please write a review for me, I don't care if it's praise or flame, just submit a review please. They keep me going.
Like last time, I won't be able to finish another chapter for another two weeks. See you then!