To get this chapter kicked off, I'll go back to the last one and explain a few things. Now by my calculations, 80 of you were surprised to find Sain of Fire Emblem in last the chapter as one of the people who made a GUEST APPEARANCE. I also imagine that 15 of you have never played Fire Emblem and didn't know who Sain was, 3 of you thought that this story should be in the cross-over category, and 2 of you were sucking on your toes; not reading the new chapter. So in reference to the 80 majority, I'll say that Sain was not really supposed to be too big of a part of the fic, and the initial reason for him being there was to see what kind of conversation would result from two 'sophisticated' perverts. Considering that Sain's one of the minor characters of Fire Emblem (that is, he's not one of the main characters such as Eliwood, Hector, or Lyndis, who are on the cover of the strategy guides, game casing, etc.), and only makes a brief appearance in this fic, I don't think it would be necessary for me to relocate this story to a different category.

I'm also not going to relocate because it's a bit hard to find me on this website. What I mean by this is; If you go to the 'SEARCH' link from the home page and then type in 'bungiefan89', under a search for authors, you won't find me. I also don't appear under any of the 'DIRECTORY' links. Now I'm just a fool, so could someone please tell me why I am being... neglected in this sense? Thank you.

I'm currently writing this on the 15th of May and I don't know when you'll be reading this, but I have been very busy as of late. I already told you about the whole Fire Emblem task I set for myself, but I also have to begin some work on an 'author profile' for myself, I suppose I've got some letters I need to send and receive, and things to print out and read, as well as this chapter that I am currently working on. So in caveman terms, I'll say, "Me busy! Me take long time! (bangs club on other caveman's head)"

In conclusion...

...I do not own Tales of Symphonia, its respective characters, or the Tower of Salvation.

ONWARD!

Lloyd eventually woke up to find a bump on his head, a bump on his chin, and the remains of the bruise of a Vulcan Neck Pinch on the nape of his neck. "Weird dreams." He murmured, recalling a very OOC dream where Colette's face had been hovering above him; asking him to have sex with her. "I guess I would have preferred them to stay like that though." He added to himself, recalling how the dream of a horny Colette had quickly changed to a dream where a massive, jagged claw scratched him out from a small room much resembling the room he was in now, to be thrown out in the open where his bloody-and-bruised-beyond-all-repair body was soon bore down upon by the mouth of some giant demonic creature with chain-saws for teeth. That was when he woke up and was now thinking to himself, "Not even Raine would even think of that kind of crazy stuff.'

"Wait a minute!" he exclaimed, knowledge finally taking hold of his stubborn little mind. "Why am I here? Sheena Vulcan-pinched me, and threw me in! Why'd she do that? Because she must have been cranky after we all took that long nap! Why were we napping? We weren't! Then why were we sleeping? We weren't! Then why did we have our eyes closed? Because we were knocked unconscious! Why? Because a spit ball came hurdling down towards us at infinity times 2 speed and with infinity times 2 force! Well where the hell did that come from!" He sat in the corner for a while with a very upset and pouting look on his face. He had been on quite a roll as far as figuring things out goes.

After a long while of pondering, he finally exclaimed, "Wait a minute! Where does spit come from? People! And where do people come from? I don't kno- OH, YEAH! They come from their mothers! And where do mothers come from? Who cares? Not me! But why were there people way up in the sky? Maybe there were mothers in the sky!" He then looked around and suddenly realized, "(Gasp) We sent Genis and the Professor up there! Would Raine spit over the edge of the Tower of Salvation? Maybe; she can be a crazy old lady! Would Genis spit over the edge of the Tower of Salvation? He spits into the wind in his free time; Definitely! So which is more likely; 'maybe', or 'definitely'? 'Definitely'! So what does this all mean?" Lloyd was deep in though for a very long time.

Finally, a refrigerator sized stereotypical light-bulb appeared above his head as he cried, "Genis is the source of all my problems! Genis is the reason why I'm here in this elevator wondering why I'm in this elevator! That little chew-on-anything half-dog/elf! I'm going to chop him into teeny-tiny-eeny-weeny-yellow-polk-a-dot-bakini, bite-sized pieces!"

Now; Lloyd is a very, very, very, very, very, slow thinker; and it took him a considerable number of hours to come to this 'conclusion' of his. As such, the elevator soon reached the top floor, opened its door, and left him very delighted to find Genis, the (current) cause all his woes, pains, and miseries, just a few feet in front of him. "PREPARE TO DIE!" He screamed at his 'best friend' who was presently gnawing on a piece of tin foil (his favorite chew toy).

"Holly lemons!" Genis shrieked in terror.

Lloyd promptly began chasing the midget in what he would later refer to as a 'figure-eight' (for he had never learned to count, and from our perspective; it would probably be called a 'figure-five') brandishing about one of his rubber swords like he could actually cut something harder than melted butter. All the while he yelled with vengeance on every word he said, "I'm gonna get you, toy-maker!"

Raine and Kratos watched this spectacle unfold in front of them with little interest. "Tell me again; why did we bring the little doggish one along? All he does is bite, complain, spit, drool, and play with that stupid ping-pong-paddle of his." Kratos asked her.

"I'm not sure." She replied, "Though I think it had something to do with 'expendability'. By the way; where's your hair?"

Feeling his bald head, Kratos quickly sputtered a lie that he knew could never be a reality, "Oh, Sheena set my hair on fire."

"Oh, well, it doesn't really matter: I found something up here while I was doing REASEARCH." The nerd commented as she led him to a humongous gateway with a pair of double doors which were both labeled 'OUT'. A tinny note was attached to the front of the doors which read:

This grand structure known as the Tower of Salvation was originally designed to be fifty feet tall. Though too late were we the elves who worked for many years on this structure and lost many fellow workers in its construction (all of whom perished inexplicably of testicular cancer) to find that the original blueprints had no measurements for any of the vertical dimensions. After filing many a complaint with the Union, suing the designers, getting drunk, and burning a few thousand witches; we have decided to make like birds in winter and head north where we have all been hired by a local mafia king known to us only as 'Santa Clause'.

Sincerely,

Jar-Jar Binks

Psa.Ssa. Entersa atsa yoursa ownsa risksa! Failuresa tosa complysa willsa resultsa insa certiansa deathsa!

"Who do you think Jar-Jar Binks is?" The nerd asked the baldy.

"Beats me. But judging by the pig-Latin at the bottom here; there should be something happy on the other side!" Kratos said too loudly. For these words traveled to the ears of Genis and Lloyd (Who had now taken their form of combat to a combination of biting and bitch-slapping). They both quickly scrambled to the gateway, tripping over one another 14 times in the process.

"Yay! We can go somewhere else!" Genis cried in delight, "I hate this circular place; there's no corners to pee in." No one paid him any attention.

"How do we open this thing? And what's written on it?" Complained Lloyd; who had never learned how to read.

"The note's just a bunch of pig-Latin, the doors have 'out' written on them, and I have no idea as to how this thing opens." The Professor explained to her ex-pupil (he had been expelled for throwing a paper airplane; which was later confiscated as a 'weapon').

"Oh, Shit-on-a-stick-on-fire! How are we supposed to open a door that we don't know how to open?" Kratos pouted, and sat on his lazy butt as if deep in thought (though he had actually fallen asleep). The others followed his example.

Meanwhile, down on the ground...

After Sheena had 'cooled down' from her rage at the dumb blonde whose company she was in, Colette asked perhaps the stupidest question she had asked so far on this pathetic excuse for an adventure: "Hey! If we've been out in the wilderness for so long, then why haven't we been attacked by monsters lately?"

These words seemed to be acknowledged by the laws of nature with a response of, "YOU ARE DUE!" From the trees to the south sprung forth hundreds of muddy kangaroos, each wearing plastic Storm Trooper masks, and wielding flaming bike-pumps. From the west; with the rising sun behind them, came 6 dozen vampires riding snowmobiles that they were all revving with hands that had sharpened fingernails 2 feet long. To the east there could be seen an army of plague-carrying giant fleas, each riding on the back of a 3-humped camel and brandishing about double-ended light sabers the color of vomit. From the north there came many wicked mercenaries including Godzilla, King Kong, Bigfoot, the entire Bernstein Bear family plus the dog, Eminem, KISS, Cat-woman, Cinderella, Harry Potter, Green Day, Darth Vader, the Energizer Bunny, Michael Jackson, Hal, Pikachu, Lil' Bow-wow, Lil' Romeo, the Spy Kids, Pac-Man, Jump-Man, Bird-Man, the Terminator, Gannondorf, Shelob, Satin, Yu-gi-oh, and Barney the Dinosaur. As if this wasn't enough, the horizons were instantly covered with helicopters; each bearing goblins that were high on glue, and a logo that read: 'Channel 666 traffic news'.

Thinking quickly, Sheena summoned a 100-storie high Ace-of-spades, that belly- flopped, and crushed half of the opposition (including Harry Potter who had once been known as 'the boy who lived'). "SHEENA! HOW COULD YOU! YOU KNOW THAT KILLING IS WRONG!" The chosen cried in dismay. Never before had she seen such carnage (actually she had, but she was cursed with a short-term memory).

"Oh, help me fight for once in your life!" The ninja replied as she paper-cut a flea to death.

"O.K." Colette muttered as she started throwing her plastic Frisbees at a few monkeys.

The 2 girls continued fighting for a while until Sheena realized something that was so obvious she practically fell over in disbelief of how stupid she had been. "Colette! You've got wings! We don't have to wait for the elevator; you can just fly us up there!"

Colette was busy having a tea party with Pikachu and Godzilla, and replied in an annoyed voice, "O.K., O.K., fine." Setting down her imaginary teacup, she took her leave of her 'friends', and hovered above Sheena, who promptly grabbed onto her ankles. The Chosen began to soar into the air, narrowly missing Godzilla's jaws that playfully snapped at the two of them on their long and slow accent up.

6 days later...

Colette finally reached the top of the Tower of Salvation, and fell in a heap on the top of it. Her wings had shriveled down to the size of a butterflies after the long ascent they had gone through, and practically turned into 'Sleeping Blonde'. Sheena was alright save for the fact that her wrists seemed to be stretched out to twice their original length. But that didn't stop her from jumping to her feet and exclaiming "WHY THE (f-bomb) IS EVERYBODY ASLEEP? WAKE UP YA TOE SUCKING MONKEYS!" Receiving no response from any of her snoozing companions, she realized she'd have to resort to plan 'B'. "I didn't want to have to do this... but I guess I've got no other option." she shrugged with a wicked grin playing across her lips. The ninja then proceeded to walk amongst them, delivering various kicks to their heads and groins. When she reached Genis however, she decided to be extra evil, (just for the hell of it) and electrocuted him with force lightning that she had learned from watching Star Wars (in Pokémon terms, this was 'Super Effective' as Genis was lying in a puddle of his own bodily fluids large enough to drown in).

"Why were you weirdoes sleeping?" Sheena asked as the party members rubbed their various bruises.

"It was all Kratos's idea!" They all yelled, pointing at the bald one.

"No it wasn't!" He defended, "I just felt sleepy, and you morons must have decided to 'follow my example' or something."

"Doesn't matter!" Sheena dictated, "What's with this doorway thingy here?" After the others explained to her the situation, she looked over the structure and sat deep in thought. The others foolishly 'followed her example' again, except for Genis who was going to deliberately disobey and actually do some thinking.

2 weeks later...

Suddenly, Genis stood up and exclaimed, "The knob!" He quickly got to his feet, grabbed the brass handle, and turned it. The others peered into the opening that resulted from Genis's magic knob, and saw the most spontaneous thing imaginable:

A short woman was standing at a podium in front of a large audience as she introduced a man walking to the microphone. "This man came from nowhere." The woman said.

The man took her place at the podium and said with a grin, "Hey, where'd I come from?"

Sheena closed the door and said, "That was weird!"

"I wana see more!" Colette protested, working the doorknob. When he opened it, a hundred drunken elephants dressed in erotic pirate costumes rode out of the gateway on thin hippopotamuses. This sight charged past them and went right over the edge of the Tower of Salvation.

"More! More! I gota REASEARCH this!" Raine yelled as she quickly closed the door and reopened it. She poked her head in, let loose a small 'eep' and closed the door.

"What was in there?" Sheena asked.

With a very flushed face, and eyes the size (and shape) of footballs, the professor responded, "Your... swimsuit... that bungiefan89... made that woman... take off. And well, let's just leave it at that there was a lot of... movement in the background." Everyone (except Colette who didn't understand) gave a strong shudder at the thought of the M-rated material that was probably going on behind the door.

Relieving his true opinion, Lloyd said, "I wana see that!" Opening the door, he saw a sight quite unlike what he had anticipated.

There were about 7 dwarves all working in a mine, cracking rock with picks, shovels, and the occasional jack hammer. All were singing "Hi-ho, Hi-ho!", with the exception of one who looked rather drunk with a bottle of whiskey in his right hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. "He-haw, He-haw!" The drunkard 'sang'.

"Shut up, Dirk!" hollered a dwarf that was apparently working a machine that was magically changing rubies and gemstones into $17.42 bills (which had a picture of Richard Nixon on them).

"Dad? What are you doing here! I thought you were fired form this job!" Lloyd cried in disbelief.

"I was! I just got rehired by Dopey; he's the new manager!" His poor excuse of a father replied.

Lloyd was so embarrassed, that he just slammed the door shut.

"My turn!" Kratos yelled as he reopened the door. Not wanting to 'share' what was on the other side with everybody else, he just opened the door a crack, and peered one eye through it.

"What do you see?" the others asked.

"I see myself." He said in an amazed tone.

"Why are you talking in an amazed tone?" The others asked

"Well I see myself," He started, "I'm alone... but I'm different... I look older... and I'm Head Boy!"

"WTF?" The others cried (for those of you uncultured people; 'WTF' stands for Wait 'Til Friday).

"I am... I'm wearing the badge like Bill used to..." He continued as the others exchanged worried glances, "and I'm holding the house cup, and the Quidditch cup... I'm Quidditch captain too!" The others closed the door for his own good as Sheena walked up to it.

"My turn!" She squealed in delight. Opening the door, she found herself face to face with Zelos.

"Hi Shee-" was all he could say before the Mitzuhoian slammed the door closed.

"That doesn't count!" She blurted as she flung both doors wide open, letting the entire party see what it beheld. There was nothing but an empty, blindingly white room. At the far end of it was a single switch.

"I WANA PUSH DA BUTTON!" Everyone started kicking and shoving and casting magic as they fought to get to the end of the room.

"WAIT!" Sheena yelled, "It's a switch, not a button!"

"WE DON'T GIVE A DAMN!" was their reply. The fighting continued with various attempts to activate the switch, with failed attempts on everyones part (they insisted on pushing it, as opposed to 'throwing' it). Finally everybody fell asleep with exhaustion, and woke up the next day.

"O.K. let's see what we've got here." Sheena said once everyone had calmed down and every one had taken another anti-A.D.H.D pill. "The label below this chromium thingamajig reads: 'Save The World Switch; if this switch is flipped, then the world will be saved and all the bad guys will be gone... and... stuff.' I say we flip it!' Throwing the switch everyone looked around outside. Nothing had changed.

After a few hundred anime sweat droops, Colette finally spoke, "I guess there was nothing wrong with the world." she concluded.

After a couple more anime sweat drops, Lloyd mumbled "I guess... we should... just go home." he took the pill out of his pocket that held the Retards (once known as Rehards). This resulted in him smacking his forehead and exclaiming, "Why did we take the elevator when we could have used these!"

They all shrugged off their stupidity, and hopped on their winged mounts. They had read the label below the 'world saving' switch, but had stupidly overlooked the note that was taped above it. The note read: out of order.

UBER-FIN!

There you have it! Oh, and before the Plagiarist Police come looking for me: I do not own Tales of Symphonia, it's respective characters, or the Tower of Salvation. Nor do I own anything from Star Wars, anything from Star Trek, Board of the Rings, anything from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, or anything that I might have mentioned in the 17th paragraph of this FanFic. Sorry I didn't say that at the beginning, but I wanted a lot of the things in this chapter to be a surprise!

I'd also like to thank Harvard Lampoon for making the book Board of the Rings (a spoof on the whole Lord of the Rings series from the sixties). Many of the concepts and humor used in this particular chapter are from Board of the Rings. (I also highly recommend this book to anyone who has enjoyed the Lord of the Rings books, and has a relatively advanced vocabulary and/or dictionary.)

And I also thank J. K. Rowling for writing Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone of which I essentially copied paragraphs 151, and 153 (depending on how you count them) of chapter 12 of the book.

For those of you who don't understand the whole 'UBER-FIN!' thing, I'll just tell you that this is the end of my story (boo, hoo!). But that doesn't mean that there will be no chapter 7! Sense I had a lot of ideas for this whole fic, that were funny but didn't fit in; I intend on doing a Director's Cut chapter that will have all of the ideas that didn't make it into this fic, but were originally intended to be there. According to my estimations, this will be something that no one has ever done on this site before.

I'm also sorry for taking so long to write this chapter (I just slacked off, I have no excuse) because it is currently the 6th of June at the time I'm writing this (I'l be able to post this on the 7th).

THANK YOU FELLOW REVIEWERS! R&R. And when you do R&R, then I'd appreciate your honest opinion of what you thought of this entire fic on a scale of 1-10.

And finally, let me address the dozens of readers (who I just KNOW are out there) who read this fic and though they have a review-worthy opinion of it; they don't give a review because they don't know how, or think the process will be too complicated, involving, and/or demanding, or they think their computer will get a virus in the transaction. IT'S EASY; just click on the 'submit review' arrow at the bottom left of this page, and go from there! You can leave it anonymous, I don't care, just do it PLEASE.

Once again, thank you for reading my story! Chapter 7 up not-too-soon!

P.S. I think Green Day is phenomenal (to say the very, very least) but they do look like a bunch of semi-gothic freaks (like KISS, but those guys are a lot freakier). And I absolutely LOATH Lil' bow-wow, Lil' Romeo (assuming those two aren't the same person), Eminem, (not to mention rap-music (which I think is an oxymoron in its self)), Cat-woman, Michael Jackson, Jar-Jar Binks, and the Spy Kids.