Chapter Six

(The Bachelor Party)

N/A: Hey guys! Thanks for you three people who reviewed last time. Also I would like to say that they are people out there who read this and don't review, and I would like so very much to hear from you about this story. I do take anonymous reviews , so feel free. I sent out the wedding dress through some of you're guys emails. So check it out and be amazed at my own fashion sense. Actually I was going to design the dress myself...but I got caught up in something else. The bachelor party and the bachelorlette party are going to be the funniest by far. The wedding is going to be sappy so be warned...I suggest to you to get your Kleenex out. Anyway, on with the show!

It was a month later when the Bachelor party was brought up to Jack when he thought his life couldn't get any worse. You see the last month had been about fittings (for Sam's dress), the suit shopping that Jack and the boys had to do. Which any person who knew Jack well knew that he hated to dress up. So about an hour looking through what he thought was endless supply of identical tux's, his mother, decided him to buy a Ralph Lauren suit, that probably cost more than he made in a year. Speaking of Maddie, she had taken the role of wedding coordinator (thankfully), because to be truthful, Sam and Jack had no idea what to do. Like for example the chaos that ensued over the gift registry. It started three weeks ago when people started coming up to them asking where they could go ahead with the gift registry. The problem was the Jack and Sam had no clue as to where they're were going to set one up.

So after the hundredth question about the registry, Jack's mom who had decided to stay in Colorado Springs intill after the wedding, and although Connor said that he would stay too, he would have to go back to Chicago for Business trips occasionally. Sam really tried to persuade Maddie and Connor to stay at the house, but Maddie who had a sly smile on her face was still very adamant about them staying at a hotel. At any rate, Maddie had set up a registry with 'The Knot.' A website that was just for people getting married. And low and behold the problem was solved like magic. Also Maddie had found a DJ for the reception, and she found Caterer. She took care of the RSVP's from the invitations that were sent out after the engagement party.

So blissfully all Sam had to worry about was the fittings, the dry runs of the hair and make-up. And her father showing up. Which he promised that he would do everything that he could to be there for her wedding day.

So a week after the Registry fiasco, Ferritti who had been a pain in Jack's ass since the engagement party decided to bug him about the bachelor party at lunch one Friday afternoon. Jack had pressured Daniel (whom as the best man the bachelor party was his responsibility ) to get on with the planning , because a certain airman was driving him nuts. Now for the most part Daniel was a calm, reasonable person, but when he was pressured to the breaking point, Jack had at some point restrain Daniel from choking the life out of the man during that long week.

Personally, Daniel had been too busy trying to help save the world from the latest disaster to even think about it intill then. He was very at a blank as what to do. Was he suppose to hire a stripper (and risk certain death by Sam.) or try to have what he thought would a whole bunch of airmen and marines try to have a civil party...Hmm...yeah right! Daniel groaned, wishing that he didn't have to think of what to do. And then a brilliant beyond brilliant idea came to mind. Could he get away with it? Or would the humiliation over this live on forever in the corridors of the SGC? He had to try goddamnit! So with the idea firmly in his head, and enough coffee in his system to power the SGC for life...ran out his office and headed for Sam's lab on level 27.

When he got there he saw that she had a welding goggles on, with a blow torch firmly in her left hand, working on some unknown experiment. Daniel, who had learned over the years to never bother her when she had combustible stuff in her hands, sat back and waited intill she was finished. After what had seemed like an eternity of waiting. The blow torch flicked off, and she removed the mask.

"Hey Sam, did I ever tell you that remind me of Jennifer Beals in Flashdance with that blow torch in your hand." She rolled her eyes at him, and threw a near by napkin at him, which he artfully dodged. "So what brings you to my humble lab?" she asked in amused tone. He bit his lip nervously trying to find a right way to say this. "Daniel..." Shit! He might as well just be blunt.

"Sam would you object to a stripper at Jack's bachelor party?" Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. She knew that question was coming. She had known since Ferritti starting bitching and moaning about it for the last month or so. It was a debatable subject for all brides-to-be everywhere. She knew that she trusted Jack with her life, and her heart...but to have a barely clad woman jumping up and down on him made Sam see red.

" I don't think I can handle that Daniel." He was half relieved, and half disappointed, though he tried very hard not to show it.

"That's okay, Sam. Look, I have to get back to my translations of that artifact that SG-7 brought back, but I'll talk to you later." He waved at her and headed back to his office, oblivious to Janet who was walking briskly in the other direction...intill he slammed into her...hard! He blinked and blushed as he got himself up from floor. "Um...sorry Janet. He said as he helped her up. She smiled at him, and then she went into full fledge giggles. " That's okay Daniel, I should pay more attention to where I was going.- She patted her self off quickly-I'll see you later Daniel." And was walking in hurried strides to her destination.

" I wonder what that was about?" he murmured to himself.

JCJCJCJCJCJC

Janet walked into Sam's lab, Who the occupant pretending to study the something of importance on the computer. Her best friend (who is too damn perceptive for Sam's taste sometimes) stopped in her tracks, knowing that something was wrong. She carefully walked over to Sam, and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. Sam turned around and smiled at the shorter woman.

"Sam what's wrong?" she asked softly.

"Nothing." She replied just as softly.

The woman took the stool across from her, sat down determinedly, and waited for the truth to be told.

"Sam what's wrong, and don't tell me nothing." Janet spoke in that same tone she reserved for Cassie or Jack.

"I Know that I'm being silly, but Daniel just came to ask if it was okay for Jack to have a stripper at his bachelor party. And all I could think about was the fact that some Malibu Barbie would be all over him...and I saw red. I mean I was really upset about it."

Janet face broke out in an eat shitting grin. "You're Jealous."

Sam at first wanted to deny it, but she couldn't lie to herself. She was jealous as hell. Jack was a handsome guy, even in his fifties. The gray instead of being a sign of his age, made him look well distinguished, and sexy as hell. Personally Sam had seen the pictures of him when he was younger, and she thought that he was like a good bottle of wine...he just got better looking with age. Sam knew for a fact that other women thought so too...

"Yes, I am." She said indignantly. Then Janet did something that made Sam want to kick her short, Kelber elf looking woman's ass. She laughed. She was absolutely falling over in her chair laughing, with tears falling out eyes.

"JANET!" The Doctor stopped for a second, and then took something out of her white lab coat jacket...a Newspaper clipping, and slid across the table to a incensed Samantha Carter. "Go on and read it." Sam narrowed her eyes at her best friend, read the clipping:

CHIPPENDALE DANCERS COMING TO DENVER FOR

ONE NIGHT ONLY!

April 10th at Nine O'clock at the Zegfiled Atrium.

Only a $25 cover!

"The Chippendale dancers?" said Sam incredulously. A sly smile came across Janet's face. Excitement burned in her eyes. She looked like a kid in a candy store. "Yeah, and that's where having your Bachelorlette party." Sam jumped off her seat and shook her head at friend. Has Janet lost her mind! "You've got to be kidding me!" Janet laughed at the face her friend made. Sam was acting so innocent. She knew for a fact that her friend had been at couple male stripe clubs before. Yep, Sam needed to be more careful what she spouts out when she's drunk.

"Sam come on this is going to be so fun!" pleaded Janet. Sam shook her head. If Jack even got wind of this he would not be a happy camper. And she didn't need that only a month before the wedding.

"What about Jack?"

Janet eyes twinkled from excitement to mischievous. "Well he couldn't complain if he had a stripper at his party could he? I mean that would be hypocritical of him to chew you out about that when he had the same thing at his party, and besides what he doesn't know won't hurt him."

Sam nodded her head. Janet was right about the fact that he couldn't say anything if he had a stripper too at his party. And she didn't think of the Chloe or Janet was going to blab to him anyway. Maybe, she could actually get away with it. And it was her bachelorlette party anyway? It was wedding sanction girls night out. And after these past two months with the wedding stuff (even though Maddie has been a god send!) and the continuous crap that the SGC seems to get themselves into. Maybe she needed to get out and have a little fun?

"Okay, Janet you're on."

The shorter woman jumped out her stool, ran over to her, and hugged Sam. She was jumping up & down excitedly.

"Great, I'll tell Chloe, and the girls."

"The girls?" asked Sam suspiciously

"Yeah, didn't I tell you that Allison, and Doreen are coming too?" All the excitement that Sam began to build inside of her died a swift death at the words Janet just spoken. She really liked Allison and Doreen, but they were Gen. Hammond's daughters. I mean if any one of them leaks anything out, she was a dead woman.

"Don't worry they won't tell any body. They were sworn to secrecy." Said Janet as though she was reading her mind. Janet waved to Sam as she hurried back to the infirmary, with a extra bounce in her step.

3

JCJCJCJCJCJC

Saturday night, and Jack was beginning to worry. Daniel had smirk on his face since Monday afternoon, and he was beginning to think that Daniel had something sneaky up his sleeve. Which worried Jack even more. The last time Daniel had that look on his face, he put inching powder in his shorts as revenge of another lame prank that Jack had pulled on him two weeks earlier. Let's just say that it wasn't pretty. So here Jack was sitting in what looked like an adult's version of Chucky E. Cheese's, called Dave's and Busters. Beer instead of soda, and lots of amusement park games. A pool table in the corner that instantly made him smiled because it reminded him of Sam.

When did he become such a love sick puppy? He couldn't remember, but it was probably around the time she challenged him to arm wrestling contest in the SGC briefing room. God had it been nine years ago? It seemed like almost yesterday to his slightly aging mind.

"Jack?" he turned around to see a very nicely dressed Dr. Daniel Jackson. He looked like an excited little puppy.

"Yeah, Danny boy?" replied Jack suspiciously.

"Come on, our table is ready." He followed the younger man to a curtain off section of the restaurant. He sat in the middle table that had his name and reserved written on it. He and Daniel ordered a Guinness , and then were left in another version of awkward silence, intill moments later a trail of marines (SG-7), Ferritti & SG-12 came to lighten up the party. Teal'c was the last one to show, but he had a good reason for doing so. Bra'tac had gated in at the last minute and he had to take care of Rebel Jaffa business.

When every one had ordered their drinks, Daniel stood up, clinking a spoon to a glass to get the party goers attention.

" I'll make this brief, I promise." Jack rolled his eyes, Daniel didn't know the meaning of brief. He can still remember the lectures that Daniel like to go into when he was at a briefing.

" I wanted to thank all of you're guys for coming. And I hope you have a great time. Also I want all you guys to hand in your keys, because no one will be drinking and driving tonight."

There were moaning and groaning about that, but they obediently handed in their car keys. "Okay guys have fun..." After that everyone let out a woo ha, and took run of the place. On the corner there was air hockey table. Which of course Jack won most of the time, expect for the game that Teal'c broke one of the pucks because he slammed it too hard in the goal. Jack just shook his head and laughed. You come to expect that from Teal'c. He was just so big, and he didn't know his own strength.

Daniel, unexpectedly was having a blast at an racing arcade game for some one that drives like an old woman, when he drives his new jaguar that he splurged on two years ago after his return from death. Ferritti was bragging about pool intill Lt. Malcoms put it to him and won fifty bucks off him. Which shut Ferrttii up right quick.

Teal'c was challenged to a drinking game, which he stead fast refused. (he had observed one between Sam and Jack the first year he was on earth...and the results weren't pretty.)

The marines were rowdy, but you expect that out marines. And it was a fun fill night intill around ten, Daniel gathered the men in the reserved area of the restaurant once again for the surprise that was making Daniel giddy all through the night.

"Now, for a surprise that Ferritti will take the credit or the blame for..." And as he said a very large cake was rolled into the room, and with it came with lots of ohs and ah's. On the top of the cake was written "Congrats Jack!" The man in question turned to look at Ferritti who had a smug look on his face. If that was what Jack thought that was, then he was a dead man. Hey he was man, and he liked tits and ass as much as the next man, but if Sam ever caught wind of this he wouldn't be getting any intill doom's day. And not only that, what about Jacob? He just now got on the man 's good side. He didn't even want to think of what that man was going to do to him if this ever leaked out.

Suddenly the top of the cake popped opened to meet a very well endowed brunette who was wearing an very imitation army uniform (they once again was mistaken for Army officers.) Who stepped out and began to shimmy and shake herself all over a one Gen. Jack

O 'Neil to the music of the Van Halen. Jack, Who was trying to think of Hammond naked so he wouldn't get a tell-tell boner, and embarrass himself in front of his friends & subordinates.

Ferritti was giving wild cat calls, and yelling some very...well dirty things. Daniel was blushing up at mad storm, trying to look any where but the woman's huge knockers. Teal'c was stoic as ever. He didn't understand this particular earth ritual, but he was okay with it.

After the strip tease was (finally) over, and when Daniel had enough blackmail pictures to last a life time, they all settled down to get drunk. And for the first time in nine years Teal'c did something that not even Jack wasn't expecting. The big man got just as hammered or more than the rest of the men (I guess he was overcompensating).

For the most part Daniel thought that the black mail material he had gotten on his camera was enough, but he didn't know that after he got hammered himself (which like everyone knows doesn't take much.) He himself got up on the tables an started to drunkenly strip, with the whole of the female population of the restraunt cheering him on. (N/A: wouldn't you after threads and fallen.) He was down to his pants, when the manager came and took him off the bar he was stripping on, and ordered him to put his clothes back on, which got a whole lot of boo's from the captive female audience, and cheers from the jealous males.

After that it was just more beer, more inebriated wishes of good will to Jack. A couple of' 'ball and chain' jokes. Then Ferrttii (who continuities to be the bad guy of this sordid tale.) Decided to tell him the horror stories of marriage (which Jack had been married before, all but knew all the horror stories too.), and telling the guys that this man was already whipped. Jack who was on his sixth beer, was getting more and more angry. Maybe it was the fact that Ferritti had been on his last nerves, or that he had a pool going on his relationship with Sam since the moment he met her, or because of the stunt he pulled at the barbecue... but tonight his willpower was at all time low. The next thing Jack knew he was punching Ferritti in the mouth. Before they could get kicked out of this bar, Teal'c, whom even drunk was a force to be reckon with, decided to end the fight with a threating look at both parties.

After that when both parties calmed down, they ended up shaking hands and laughing together. Around two am, when it was time for the Bar to close, Jack and the gang stumbled out to their waiting cabs. Said goodnight, falling all over each other. The manger who was about to close up just shook his head. He had seen worse drunks than the military men, but it was always funny what people can get themselves into when a couple of beers gets into them.

Jack sat back in the cab, his eyes closing in sleep. Silently thanking god that the male half of SG-1, SG-2 and SG-12 didn't have to go work tomorrow, because they were going to need all the rest they can get, because their hangover is going to be really, really bad. Jack could pretty much guarantee it, but at least he had one wedding tradition now. He had at least four more to go. I wonder why we couldn't just elope, like normal sane people!

P.S.: the link to the dress is in my profile. Tell me what ya think!