Chapter Seven

(The Bachelorlette Party)

The ladies where all hyped up for this bachelorlette party. Cassie, who wanted to go, but Janet wasn't having that (even though she's twenty- one.) So it was Chloe, Allison, Doreen, Alissa, and Sam. Janet had rented a limo for this particular party. And they were all dressed to kill. Sam was in the dress in the window that she bought from Maxi's at the council of Maddie.

They all met up at Sam's house, which was littered with boxes for the after wedding move. They were going to have dinner and presents there then go in the limo for some Chippendale action. Janet was the first to arrive, then Chloe, then Alissa then Allison & Doreen.

Janet was dressed in a red short strappy dress, her auburn hair hanging on the shoulders. Chloe was the most drastic change, her blonde hair cut in something stylish and sleek. The glasses were gone, replaced by contacts, and she was also wearing some sexy Calvin Klein dress. Alissa was wearing something very short, and very black. Allison was wearing a short black sheath dress, while Doreen had decided on wearing blue ¾ sleeved pant suit.

"So now that we are all here, lets all go into the dinning room and start off with dinner." Said Janet, who was the host of the party. She, and Sam carried in Catered meal of Sam's favorite food: Lasagna, Linguini, and for desert... chocolate cake ( a must have.)

" Oh this looks good, Sam." Stated Chloe

"Yep, it does. Thank god I didn't cook this." Which got a whole lot of giggles from Alissa, Chloe, and Janet. Everyone knew about the fact that Sam couldn't cook. It wasn't in the cards for her. She even burned MRE's, which Janet couldn't even figure out how in the hell do you burn MRE's?

"So you must be excited about the wedding." Asked Doreen chewing on a piece of pasta. Sam bit her lip for a second as to think over her question.

"Yeah I am, but the wedding is stressing me out." The other two women nodded, each remembering about the same time of their own weddings that they each collectively wanted to kill something. The pressure was immense, and each of their hearts went out to her.

"God, do I understand that. My father had punched Bob's father at the rehearsal dinner. " said Doreen in amusement. at the same time the three other women began to choke on their pasta dinner. Sam had to drink some wine, before she passed out. And Janet well it took her a good five minutes to simmer down.

"You're lying, Gen. Hammond in fight?" asked Janet incredulously.

"Yep, you should seen it, Sam. He was completely red, looking like he was about to explode..."

Janet and Sam looked at each other. They both saw that before. It was usually when Jack did something bad. The last time they saw him like that was when Jack used his yo-yo in the infirmary and shorted out the electronic equipment. Let's just say Hammond was not a happy camper.

"Yeah I was furious at the time, but later when I saw the tape it became quite funny." Added Allison

From there, it was all about laughing, and funny (but edited versions) of andotes that the boys got themselves into. Then after cake, and a nice bottle of red wine was passed around, & then they all headed for the den for presents, before the limo got there at 7:45p. Janet was the first to give the present in a square box dressed in bright pink wrapping paper.

"Okay, I saw this in the mall and instantly had to buy it for you." Sam cocked an eyebrow that made the rest think of Teal'c and his trademark expression. She quickly unwrapped it, and inside the box was a long black satin, and mesh night gown. It gave just a hint of skin, but it also was great at hiding some parts of it. It was made to provoke, and mystify. Sam could feel the tinges of pink rising in her cheeks.

"Thanks you so much, Janet." She said as she hugged her friend. Next was Chloe who gave her assortment of things that both parties could enjoy on the wedding night. Let's just say that those said items that were purchased would help in the endeavor of Sam and Jack never leaving the bedroom again.

Next was Alissa, she gave her a gift certificate to a local spa. Which by the end of this wedding, Sam was convinced that she would need it. Ali gift was a gift package of lotions, bath balls, perfumes, and other bath and beauty stuff. Janet smiled at the woman. Everyone who knew Sam, knew that she worked her ass off on a regular basis, and took little time to take care of herself. It was a perfect gift. Sam also hugged Allison who in return giggled at her.

Last, put never least was Doreen's gift. And it would be the memorable gift. Inside her blue gift box was a rolling pin, and other stuff to keep a husband in line.

"I wish I had that when I married Bobbie, maybe he'll think twice before coming home from one of his damn bowling games." Which made the fivesome laugh even louder. Doreen also gave Sam a leather bound journal that was specialty made with Sam's name on the cover, which Doreen got in return another hug.

Then Suddenly a loud beep came from outside. Sam crinkled her forehead in confusion, and then she looked at the clock and gasped. It was 7:43!

"Guys... leave all the presents here and let go, or we going to miss the show! "

They all got they're stuff and headed off into the limo for a night of fun filled stripping, and fruity drinks!

JCJCJCJCJCJCJC

Jack was well...sick. Actually he was sick and tired. No let me give you a more correct definition. He was hung over. Really hung over. Sam was gone. She had left two hours earlier to help set up her party. Daniel was passed out in his guest room, and Teal'c was laying down on the couch looking like he wanted to hurt somebody. (which is why Jack was in his bedroom and not outside with his very large friend.)

DING DONG!

Oh god, he wanted to die. Where's a Zat when he needed one? And who in the hell...

DING DONG!

"COMING" he screamed. He wanted the kill...somebody...anybody. He slowly rolled out of bed. And literally crawled through the hall way, because he couldn't get his lower parts to work. Thank god Sam was not here to see this, or she would never live it down.

DING DONG!

He crawled passed Teal'c who was looking at him like he just grew two heads. "Do you need assistance, O'Neil?" asked Teal'c concerned. Jack was tempted to shake his head in a yes, but his Irish pride wouldn't let him.

DING DONG!

So he just murmured that he was okay and with the help of the bar top that was overlooking the kitchen he slowly got up to his feet. And just like the animated story 'Santa Clause is coming to town', suggested: He put one step after another and was now walking towards the door.

DING DONG, DING DONG!

"I'M COMING DAMNIT!"

The guest room opened to reveal a blurry eyed archeologist. He looked like he just woken up from the dead. (which consequently, he was very familiar with.) looked to his two friends, his mouth poised to ask the question of the hour... Who in the hell was that at the door?

DING DONG!

Jack turned around and opened the door. And took one look at the Three people who were standing at his doorstep. And suddenly an urge to go back to bed became unassailable . You see standing on his doorstep was Connor O'Neil, Gen. George Hammond, and Gen. Jacob Carter/Selmac. Uh Oh he was in trouble...real trouble. He turned around and pleaded with his eyes that certain events of last night will not be revealed to three people on the doorstep or to his fiancée. (which from either one of them could only mean certain death for him)

" Er...uh...hi." The three older gentlemen looked at each other, and laughed. They all knew about last night. Well not everything about last night, but they had the general idea. Each one of them had been through the same thing. Each had married or was still married. So they were going to give him a hard time...out of love of course!

"Jack, you look like shit." said Jacob stating the obvious.

"Yeah, thanks for that little piece of information." Replied Jack a little chagrined. The men looked at each other, and couldn't keep their faces straight. They broke out another bout of laughter.

" Can we come in or you gonna let us stand out here intill doomsday." Said Connor. Jack pasted a smile on his face and let the men in. They took one look at the Teal'c and Daniel and shook their heads. Yep this brought back some old memories.

"So make your selves comfortable. Any one want some coffee, or I think I have a couple of beers in the refrigerator."

The older men looked at each other, and Connor just ordered a beer and both Generals artfully declined anything. So as Jack went into the kitchen to retrieve a beer. The two generals tried to dig up some information for last night's bachelor party. One look at Teal'c and they knew they weren't getting information from him, but Daniel was a totally different situation.

The three men looked at the younger man, and Daniel physically gulped.

"Nope, I'm not telling. I swore..."

"Oh common Daniel." Whined Connor.

"Nope. I'm not doing it."

"Not doing what?" asked a voice coming from the kitchen.

They turned to look at Jack holding a beer looking from his CO, to his to father, then future father in-law.

"Daniel was about to tell us what happened last night..." spoke Hammond matter-of-factly

Jack shook his head. There was no way in hell he was going to speak about last night. He was a former special ops agent for god sakes ! He could withstand the interrogation of the old men. Jack looked around at the three men in question and physically gulped. He was in deep shit!

JCJCJCJCJCJCJC

When they got into the Zegfield Atrium and were bombarded by nice waiters with great pecs wearing only pants and bowties. Alissa whistled at each one of the hunky waiters, and to her surprise, one of the cute waiters winked back at her. They found a table down in front.

The cute waiter who Alissa was flirting with earlier came over to take their order, and to slipped Alissa his phone number. When she got strange looks from Janet and Sam about it, she said that she was just flirting, nothing more. (A/N: Siler... or cute muscle bound waiter...hmm tough choice.) While waiting for the drinks the women looked around their surroundings. It was a nice bar that had a 20's speak easy look to it. Which reminded of Sam further of the movie Chicago. There was a small stage, and a bar that was full at the moment with women and waiters.

The waiter (who later that they found out that his name was Andy.) put their drinks down, and winked once again at the assortment of hotties that were here that night.

"God, your so bad Alissa." Cajoled Chloe.

"Yeah, but hey you only live once." She replied.

Allison looked over the waiter, and smirked again at Alissa. "Yeah he was pretty cute." Which got another round of strange looks from the peanut gallery. "Hey I'm married...not dead! " That got a rouse of laughter.

"Hmm...I heard that sis, but I still might have to tattle to your husband when I get home." Teased Doreen. Allison shook her head at her sister. "Go a head, Jerry can't talk...I know where he keeps his playboy magazines. " There was a general laugh from the other women at the table.

Unexpectedly the light in the bar seemed to dimn slightly giving off an intimate light.

"THE ZEGFIELD ATRIUM WOULD LIKE TO PRESENT THE CHIPPENDALE DANCERS !" said a loud voice of over the PA system.

There were screams from the females in the room. Loud boisterous swooning screams. Then suddenly, the curtain of the stage parted like the red seas and then the most gorgeous men that she had seen lately (excluding Jack, Daniel (who as like a brother to her) and Teal'c.) starting to dance slowly to some music that she couldn't quite recognize. And she sat there memorized. Then one men who was a Fabio look like was swinging his hips and gyrating some well endowed lower half of his body at some poor unexpectedly screaming woman.

Chloe was on her feet clapping to the music, swooning over the muscle bound man, screaming "YEAH BABY, SHAKE YOUR ASS!" And then suddenly, the man who was at one point at shaking his ass near a much older woman, that reminded Sam of Aunt Bea from the Andy Griffith Show, who was happily trying to get a cheap feel on the man's ass. Screaming "Come to mama." Then the next thing the Sam knew 'Fabio' came up to her his fingers all over her, and at first she was blushing. She was a woman. Red blooded woman, and this man was well...very good looking, but she felt kind of guilty because of that.

And then he did something very unexpected. He began moving his hips like...making his thong package lower half jump and down. Sam's eyes began to bulge out her sockets. After a while of the dancer taking his attention on her, she felt something slip in her shirt, before he was off to another screaming lady. He winked at her, and she blushed. Sam suddenly took out the slip of paper out her shirt and saw it was a phone number: Roger 303-505-6292. She looked at her friends, and then looked at the dancer who was doing flips somewhere in the background. And blushed again. I'm getting Married damnit...I shouldn't be looking nor flirting with any one else!

She blinked it off, she wasn't attracted to the guy...really she wasn't. She was just well...embarrassed. A thought just came to her all of sudden and she had to smile...maybe she could persuade Jack to wear a thong for her. An image came to mind and she had to laugh. The others were still too occupied to notice her, and suddenly she felt her self relax for the first time since she entered the bar. From then on that night, she was just happy sit back with her friends have a good time. Like Alison said she was getting married, but she wasn't dead...right?

N/A: Hey campers! I'm back again, thanks so much for the reviews. I appreciated. There's three more chapters left. I'm so excited about the wedding! Anyway, Thanks for the complements on the dress. I looked through a good hundred before I found the one. Oh, I would like to make an announcement : I'm starting my own Internet spin off series. It's called : The Rangers. Okay for as long, long time since I was thirteen years old, I always wanted to get my hands on the Power Rangers. I know, I know...twenty one years old and watching the power rangers. (pathetic I know!) For the most part the premises of the show was a good one, but how they did it was well...lame. So I thought that I would change the power rangers in a nice realistic, and unlame version and have Cassandra from Stargate lead them. (A girl red ranger who knew?) Anyway, I need some help from my fellow internet people. I have no idea to put up a descent website and I need some good writers. Nutter (who I thank immensely) is already on board, but if you would like to volunteer please email me at :

Thank you so much,

Jennifer Greystone