Chapter Two

Continued

He closed his mouth and cleared his throat nervously. That was a bad sign, wasn't it? I could already feel the drippy coldness that comes with rejection. I already wanted to weep for our soon to be contaminated friendship. Worst of all, I think I was beginning to really like him too.

"Can we do that again?" I heard him say. I looked at him, surprised. It was definitely not what I expected.

He seemed to be nervously waiting for my response.

I broke into a smile as I heard him say, "Hermione?" very carefully, as if hearing my name would somehow upset me.

I laughed. Hearing this, he relaxed. I pulled him toward me and embraced him again.

Over the next couple of days, we went on more and more dates, and I was growing more and more attached to him. Each time we went out, I saw a sweet and romantic side of him that I never knew existed beyond those deep, once cold gray eyes.

However, there was minor setback to this fabulous arrangement.

My heart still felt a little flutter when I saw Harry.

Of course, this happened when I saw Draco as well. And the feelings were so similar, so alike, that I couldn't tell which person I liked more.

But I had Draco. Harry, as of the moment, was a blotch on my painting. A piece of litter in a perfect landscape. But I couldn't get rid of it no matter how hard I tried.

I had tried to get over him, I truly did. I had a boyfriend, for God's sake; a sweet, loving, beautiful boyfriend. What added even more to my guilt was the fact that he had liked me for a year, ever since sixth year! I mentally kicked myself a dozen times, remembering how I had blabbered on and on about my infatuation with another man. And here I am now, liking two men.

And he suspected it. One night, we were lying down under the stars, next to the lake. We were both a bit tipsy, having drunk a little firewhiskey at the Hog's Head before that. "Hermione," he asked. "You don't still," he paused, "like him, do you?"

I sobered up at his question. I shut my eyes tightly before I opened them again and answered. "Why do you ask that, Draco?"

"Well, you have liked him for a pretty long time before us." His arms pulled me even closer, and I gladly obliged. "And that day… you- you didn't exactly make it official that you were completely, one- hundred percent… clear."

I hated to lie to him. But in this case, I knew it had to be done. If he knew the truth, it would break his heart.

So I pulled ourselves up into a sitting position and looked deep into those piercing gray eyes of his, and said, "Draco. You don't ever have to worry about that. Alright? I don't like Harry. I like you. And in time, I probably will even be able to love you. But he doesn't affect me the way you do. Remember that, okay?" He nodded and we had kissed for a long time afterward.

Since then, we never talked about that particular subject again. He dropped it, but I had noticed that every time we were around Harry, he would hold me closer and had a certain look in his eyes. It wasn't dangerous, it wasn't jealousy, and it wasn't even hurt.

I never found out what it was.

January

"Come on, Draco; tell me where we're going!" It was me and Draco's third month of being together, and I had a blindfold over my eyes.

"Don't worry your pretty little head, doll; just trust me."

With my hand securely clutched in his, he guided me, helpless for almost fifteen minutes. Finally, he paused and said, "We're here."

"About time!" I could just imagine him rolling his eyes fondly at me as the weather around me changed from windy and cold to warm and inviting, signifying we had stepped indoors.

He gently undid my blindfold and I gasped at the sight before me.

We seemed to be in a very fancy, very high- class restaurant, blood red candles everywhere, white Persian carpet, and tastefully decorated walls. The pianist was playing a romantic song and seemed to be winking at Draco.

"This is so sweet, Draco. Honestly, I love it." He blushed at the compliment.

As the night proceeded, I kept wondering how I could feel anything for any other guy when this one was so sweet and caring, so completely true.

At the end of dinner, he took me to the Hog's Head for a butterbeer. Looking around, I spotted a lot of couples; Ron was there with Lavender, Dean Thomas was with a Ravenclaw girl named Erica Fulley, and Ginny was with some guy I didn't recognize, for he was faced away from me.

Then, in a corner booth, I recognized a raven- black colored head. And he was sitting across from…

I did a double take and leaned over a bit to get a better view. Draco saw this.

"What's up?" he asked, looking in the direction I was. I stifled a giggle.

"Look who Harry's with." He looked at me curiously before glancing in that direction.

He choked on the breadstick he had chewing on and turned back to me.

"Tell me I did not just see Harry Potter with Slytherin's Pansy Parkinson?"

We looked at each other for a moment, amused, then burst into laughter.

"Oh, God, my best friend really has gotten desperate."

Of course, I still hadn't gotten over him completely. But at least now, I could say truthfully that I liked Draco more then Harry, an old flame.

But somehow, I couldn't shake off the tingle I felt when Harry was in the same room as me. And I absolutely hated myself for it.

Since I had gotten together with Draco, Harry had been dating even more voraciously, if that was even possible. At least half the girls in our house had gone out with him, but remained friends with him after things didn't work out, because Harry was so cute and forgivable, and the fact that he didn't try anything too fast.

And now, here he was, for the first time, dating a Slytherin girl; most shocking of all, the pug- faced Pansy Parkinson. I felt that old jealousy creep up on me, but it had now reduced to a mere pang of displeasure. Still, it was there.

Me, Harry, and Ron were still the infamous Golden Trio. However, we had grown apart a little, what with our busy seventh year schedules, complicated by dating and studies. Nevertheless, we were still best friends, and I loved them more then anyone.

Draco shook his head. "Man. I don't believe it."

As hilarious as I found it, I still hated the jealousy I radiated. I forced my voice to be cheerful. "Me, neither."

I looked over at their table again, and was surprised to see that Harry was staring straight at me. I inconspicuously looked around me, wondering if there was something unusual about my surroundings. Nope, he was definitely looking at me.

I gave a little wave. He sort of gave a little jerk, then buried his head in his menu.

Needless to say, I was confused.

At the end of the night, Draco took me back to my room and whispered, "I hope you had a good time," while gently holding me in his arms.

I smiled widely and whispered back, "I did. Thanks so much, Draco."

He kept holding me tenderly, making me feel like the luckiest girl in the wizarding world. He gave me a kiss goodnight. Actually, it was more like a snog goodnight.

I entered the Gryffindor common room, not expecting to find anyone. I turned around and jumped in surprise.

"Harry!" I took a few seconds to catch my breath. "You startled me."

He smirked playfully. "By the way you squealed, I'd say you were a bit more then 'startled'."

I ignored his comment and teased, "So what's the story with you and Ms. Parkinson? I had no idea that you had a taste for Slytherins." Not to mention Slytherins that looked like a troll squeezed their face together.

He blushed. "Well, it was a change for me. But it was nothing, anyways."

"No sparks?" Incredibly, it got easier and easier to talk about his dates as time went on. I marveled at myself for hiding it so well.

He took a small step toward me and said, in complete seriousness, "No sparks."

"Well, don't worry, Harry. One day, you'll find your perfect girl."

He took another step toward me, this one not so small. It made me sort of nervous.

"I think I've already found her." Another step. I rivaled it with a step backward.

"O- oh really?" I took another step backward. At first, I thought I was imagining it, but now there was no mistaking the lovesick look in his eyes. It wasn't predatory or dangerous or lustful; Harry was not that kind of person. But with each step, I was growing more and more uncomfortable.

"Harry, what are you doing?" As wrong as it was,I couldn't help- God, I hate myself for thinking this- wanting him to take me right there and snog me senseless, just like Draco had done only a few minutes before.

He took me into his arms and slowly leaned down to meet my lips. I saw those soft lips and I felt myself wanting to greet them. All the feelings I had for him before bombarded at me, full blast.

But before our mouths touched, I pulled away just in time, when I could already feel his breath on my face. I distanced myself from him, moving away several feet.

Our breathing was strained and in gulps. He was the first to speak. "Her- Hermione... I- I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Harry", I cut him off. I couldn't handle it. I was furious at him, but in the back of my mind, I was a little disappointed that I didn't kiss him. That only made me more furious.

I shook my head. "I cannot believe you just did that, Harry", I said in a deadly quiet voice.

However, I couldn't help but forgive him when I saw his face, full of remorse. "I'm so sorry, Hermione. I shouldn't have done that. I know you're with Draco, and you love him."

"I don't love him." It was the wrong thing to say. His face lit up with hope, almost breaking my resolute. "Not yet, that is. It's only been three months."

The look on his face was almost heartbreaking. It looked crushed, hurt, and dignified, all in one.

"Well, Hermione; I'm not going to lie to you. I didn't see it before, but now I realize…" I had dreamed up this scene a thousand times, but it never occurred to me that it would actually happen. Now, I was mortified. "You are the person I've been looking for all this time, Herms."

Oh, brilliant. He was using my nickname against me.

"I know this might hurt our friendship, and I'm so sorry for that." And he really did look sorry. "But I had to get this off my chest. I tried to get over you, but it didn't work."

When I didn't say anything, he left. I stood there, rooted to the spot, still slightly shocked.

He was so nice and loving and gentle. If he was harsh and demanding, at least I could be mad at him. But of course he wouldn't be like that. Those were two adjectives that were completely wrong for him.

And it was me who was mostly in the wrong. This was so unfair to Draco. Actually, it was unfair to Harry as well. Mostly Draco.

What would happen if he found out? I was so happy with him. And now this happens.

And as easy as it was difficult to get rid of them, the feelings for Harry flooded back into me, my heart again equally matching Draco, my boyfriend, and Harry, my best friend who wanted to be more. It didn't matter that I wanted to like one person and one person alone. It was like I used a timeturner and was back to the day where I had to struggle with my feelings between two men. What a whore I felt like.

A scary thought entered my head. It came to me that I had a choice now that I didn't have back then.

The difference between now and then was the fact that this time, I could have either of them.