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Ginny Weasley sat on the boulder looking out at the lake and internally trying to calm her tears. She wasn't crying as bad as she had been an hour ago, really. It's just that once she had started thinking about the nightmare and Voldemort and Harry…Oh God, and Harry…Ginny couldn't help but burst out in tears.
Her tears had since almost subsided, but unfortunately her fears had not. She wasn't sure if they ever would. Not while Voldemort still lived.
For now she'd just push her fears to the side and act as if nothing were wrong. It was an act she'd been practicing for months now. Ginny sighed. Maybe someday it would really work.
Slowly she pushed herself up from her current sitting position and brushed the dirt off her robes. She wiped away the tears from her eyes and took a few deep breaths trying to compose herself.
You'd think this would get a little easier.
In late August Ginny had come to the conclusion that it wouldn't get easier, at least not while Harry was around. After months of living through the nightmare night after night, Ginny had thought she was almost at the point where she could accept it. That is, until Harry had showed up at the Burrow a few days before they were all to leave for Hogwarts. Then everything had started to go downhill.
It wasn't Harry's fault, you see. He'd just wanted to visit to visit the Burrow and see Ron like he had the four previous summers. He didn't know that Ginny's mood was thrown into a turmoil at his appearance and that her acceptance of the situation had relapsed to a rather dismal and disheartening point. He also didn't know that Ginny had quite blamed him for the way she'd been feeling at that point.
If he had, the occurrences at the Burrow the week before leaving for Hogwarts would have made a lot more sense.
During that week, Ginny had done everything from ignore Harry, to glare at him, to suddenly hug him like he was going off on some extended vacation. Harry had been rather thrown off by Ginny's whirlwind of moods. It was a fairly confusing time for the both of them.
However, by the end of the week Ginny had come up with a temporary solution. She'd started spending all of her time near the river by her house. That way she didn't have to deal with all of her Harry-induced emotions. She also liked the sound of the water. She had started coming out here the summer after first year. It had worried her family a bit that she was going off by herself. One morning Ginny's mum sat her down by the kitchen table and asked her where she went off to every morning. Ginny had explained about her spot by the river and her need for peace and solitude every once in a while. Mrs. Weasley, who had probably been remembering "the incident", said with tears in her eyes that she understood the need for peace and solitude in a crazy house like this. She had hugged Ginny and kissed her on the forehead before going outside to do some gardening.
From that point on, whenever Ginny needed to think about something without distractions, or just relax and get away from Gred and Forge's "product testing", she went to her spot. And that spot had been her sanctuary for the last three days of Harry's visit. It had actually been quite productive, as she had brought the last of her homework outside with her.
Her spot here at school by the lake reminded Ginny of her little sanctuary by the river back at home. And thinking of home made Ginny feel safe. Safety was what she needed right now, even if it was an illusion. The youngest Weasley thought of her home and smiled.
Now that she was feeling a little more calm, Ginny decided that she was ready to go in. She couldn't waste more time out here anyway. She had too much to do. The term had only started a few weeks ago, but Ginny was already falling behind. Her mind was always wandering in class, she couldn't concentrate on homework, not to mention the fact that she was dead tired. Maybe Rowena could help her catch up. They were in a lot of the same classes.
Ginny pulled back the sleeve of her robe to reveal an old-fashioned wizarding timepiece. With one tap of her wand the watch spoke.
"You've missed dinner again, dear," it said in a motherly tone of voice.
Ginny sighed.
Oh, bother…now I'm going to have to sneak something from the kitchens.
She started back towards the castle and pulled her cloak more tightly around her as a particularly chilly burst of wind kicked up.
I hope this cold spell is gone by the time Quidditch starts next week.
As Ginny neared the castle she made a vow to go ask Lavender about that tanning charm and possibly others that could hide her pale appearance. She didn't need to start attracting attention right now. She also decided to go to the library that night and see if she could find anything that might keep her dreams from coming true.
Ginny heard a noise in the distance and looked up to see Harry Potter running towards her. Wiping her cheeks one last time she mentally prepared herself to talk him.
"Hey Ginny! We were looking all over for you," Harry said, slightly out of breath.
We? Who was looking for me?
"What's going on Harry?" Ginny asked.
"Well," Harry paused for a moment before continuing, "Me and Ron and Hermione are going to have an exploding snap tournament and we wanted you to play."
Ginny's first thought was that Harry Potter was the worst liar on the entire planet. He wouldn't look her quite in the eye and seemed inordinately concerned with the grass at his feet. However, as curious as Ginny was as to why Harry was lying to her about something, she had more important things to worry about.
"No thanks, Harry," Ginny said as she brushed past him, "I have too much to do tonight."
Ginny passed Harry and started back to the castle. A few seconds later she felt a hand grab her arm and turned around to see Harry looking at her anxiously.
"Ginny," he started.
Ginny wondered if Harry was going to continue with that silly story about an exploding snap tournament. He opened his mouth and promptly shut it again. Ginny noticed that he had slight creases in forehead as if he had been worrying too much lately. Ginny thought about asking him what he was so worried about, but then she remembered that she was supposed to be distancing herself from Harry, not getting closer to him. It was harder than she thought it would be.
"I, um, I was wondering if I could walk you back to the tower."
If Ginny didn't know better, then she might've thought that Harry looked a little nervous that she would say no.
"Sure." They were heading back to the same place anyway. It would've been strange to say no.
They reached the castle doors a moment later. Harry stepped in front of her and held the door open as Ginny stepped inside.
"Thanks," Ginny said quietly as she walked into the corridor.
"You're welcome," Harry replied.
Formalities dispensed with, both students went silent as they continued on their way to Gryffindor tower. The lanterns in the hallway gave light to the early evening while also casting abstract shadows on the walls. The sun had completely set by now and Ginny could see the first twinkling stars through the large Hogwarts windows. They were beautiful, but somehow seemed more fragile than usual. Like me, she thought softly.