An- I have a fondness for the reviewers of this story, so shout outs are in order.

Omega Weapon – What happened to the rest of your review?

Goleta – I imagine that food would upset the Namek's system. And I have this obsession with suits. Forgive me.

Elenek – I'm glad you enjoy this. I haven't found a site to post on, I'm rather shy and a bit too scared to ask if I can post. Any suggestions? Ta.

Saiyan Queen – Kakarot will just have to hold out. But he'll be fine.

Katchan Metekoki – I'm chuffed that I made you go 'aw'!

Ozuma's girl – maybe Chichi should have a Claudia-style death. You've been involved in one of those, hey? And what about those pics!? Bring them forth! I eagerly await them.

Clarobell – I think Vegeta and Piccolo make great friends. Don't chew on Chichi's head…you'll get food poisoning.

Lenora – Most people would drive Vegeta mad. I mean, if I had that body in my house, he'd be banned from wearing clothes. Well, a scarf in winter, maybe, but that's it!

Gutterball – 'Screw you guys, I'm going home!" Yes, South Park is cool! Not as cool as dbz, obviously…but still, its cool. Maybe it would be funny to throw Cartman and Vegeta together in an elevator…that breaks down. With no a/c. hah!

Review award:

HA! I can REALLY see Vegeta loving South Park, for some reason. Worse, I can just see him stomping up to Kakarot and shouting, "RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!"

helpless giggles

-Gutterball

And no, she's not getting the awards because she is my friend and editor…but I think Vegeta quoting Cartman would be utterly priceless.

Onwards!

Chapter nine: Shipboard antics

"Forget it."

"Piccolo, it's my son's birthday. I'm asking you to please just swallow your pride for once and wear the damn thing."

I hold up Piccolo's suit, and he growls at it.

"Fine. But only because it would make Trunks happy, and keep you off my case."

He snatches it from me, and I grin. I've got my pants on, and my shirt is unbuttoned. I must admit, Bulma knows me too well. She put in a pink BAD MAN shirt for me, just as a joke. Of course, Piccolo hasn't stopped ragging me about it since the capsule burst open. I just pulled hard on one of his antennae, and he froze and stopped talking. My suit is black, but with a blue shirt and mandarin collar. The Namek got a black suit too, but with a purple shirt, the same colour as his combat outfit. It suits him, and even he can't deny that. I watch him, as he checks himself out in the mirror.

"You see, it's not so bad. If I were female, I'd take you down."

"That's not something one guy should say to another guy."

"Yeah, but you're asexual, so it doesn't matter."

I push him out the way, so that I can see my reflection. It's no problem for him. He can still see himself if he stands behind me. I can see that he's trying to do his tie.

"Just leave your top buttons open. It'll look better that way."

Piccolo shrugs, and tosses aside the green tie. I check my watch, and it's still fifteen minutes 'til dinner. I go into my room, and lie down on the bed, staring out the cabin window. I'm not feeling in the least bit seasick, but I suppose that I've got a pretty strong stomach.

I wonder what Kaks is doing.

I wonder what Geta is doing. I switch off the TV, and decide to have a hot bath. My muscles are pretty knotted, and it'll help pass time. Geta would laugh at me if he were here. He thinks baths are for women. When he teases me, I know there's no malice behind it. I get him back most of the time anyway. I wonder how I'm going to get to sleep tonight. Usually, he pads around the house 'til late, while I go to bed around ten or so. He'll drop in to say good night, and we'll talk for a bit, usually about an interesting article he read in the paper, or about something funny that happened while training Uub. He either leans against the door, or sits on my bed, legs crossed and head resting on his hands. I always feel better having him around as I'm falling asleep. Sometimes, when I have nightmares, he'll wake me up and calm me down. He's a really light sleeper, so when I kick and moan and sometimes scream in a nightmare, he's there almost instantly. I sleep like a brick, so I don't know when he's having nightmares. I wonder how often he has them.

I step into the bath, which is just the right temperature. I miss him so much. We spend so much time together, and I can't be without him. Even now, just doing something as simple as bathing, I'm talking to him. He'll sit in the doorway, where he can't see me, and we'll talk. Mostly I listen, because he's got so many interesting things to tell me. He's really clued up on everything that's going on in the world. I sigh, as I sink lower into the bath, almost wetting my spikes.

It's not the same.

Piccolo and I are the last to arrive at dinner, after having trying to find the cabin key, which he lost, not me. We ended up fighting like kids. I grabbed onto his antennae, but then let go very quickly when he told me that it's a pleasure point. So, I pulled his ears instead, while he grabbed my hair and pulled. Then we called a truce, slapped each other on the back and hurried to supper. I sat next to Bulma, and Piccolo sat next to me. The seating went from Trunks, at the head, then Goten on his right, then Krillin, 18, Maron, Roshi, Yamcha, Puar, Oolong, Tien, Chiatzu, Yamcha, Chichi, Mork, Buu, Mr. Satan, Videl, Gohan, Popo, Dende, Piccolo, myself, Bulma, Bra, then Mr and Mrs Briefs. Unfortunately, Chichi wasn't far enough away from me, and I could still hear her voice. Bulma and Piccolo glanced at each other. They both knew that I was tense.

The starters came and went without much trouble. Main course, I held my temper, although the sight of Chichi French-kissing her revolting boyfriend nearly put me off my roast chicken. The entire table averted their eyes, and made conversation elsewhere.

But dessert was to be the true test of my self-control.

"So, Vegeta, tell me…" Chichi was slightly red in the face, and had had a little too much alcohol. Bulma kept her hand on my knee under the table, gently squeezing and trying to keep me calm.

"Who is Goku fucking, out there, wherever he is? I know he's cheating on me. That's why he isn't coming home, right?"

The whole table went quiet, and waited for my response. Judging from some of their expressions, Chichi had just voiced what some of them were thinking.

"If any body is being unfaithful, it's you, hellcat. He isn't snogging any one, unlike you. I mean, at the damn dinner table! You two have got a private room, so why don't you go fuck each other brainless there?"

"Oh, ish that a fact?" slurred Chichi. She stood up and took a swig of her wine. I can see that she's trying to start a fight. I'll avoid starting one, because that's not what Trunks deserves on his birthday. I look over to my son, who shrugs. He knows I can take care of myself.

"If you'll all excuse me, I'm leaving." I stand up, and put my napkin on the table. Bulma looks relieved, and Piccolo breathed out. He wasn't looking forward to trying to restrain me, in case I lost my temper.

"Why, Vegeta? So you can fly back and screw Goku? I know what the two of you are like. When Goku was home, it was always Vegeta this, and Vegeta that, and I know the two of you are more than just friends. Who's on top? Probably you, right? Or maybe you've just been waiting for someone to dominate you? Goku's big, isn't he? He was a damn good lay. But I'm sure you know that by now."

Everyone stared at me, as though it were true. I should have thought that they would think this. I look at Piccolo, who is glaring at Chichi.

"Leave him alone, Chichi."

"Shut up, you green freak! You corrupted my son! Do you have any idea how long it took me to make him normal again!?"

Gohan looks highly embarrassed, and Goten is covering his face with his hands, absolutely mortified at his mother's behaviour.

Piccolo stood up, and also started growling. I turned on Chichi. To hell with being polite. I'll make it up to Trunks.

"Haven't you ever wondered why Kakarot doesn't want to be with you? You're nothing more than a conniving, manipulative bitch that could never accept Kakarot for who he is! Now you're desperate to find a guy as great as him, but you never will. Kakarot is my best friend, and I will not let you fucking hurt him! I may not be sleeping with him, but I care about him more than you ever did, whore! If you dare say another word to him or me, I don't care if anybody is watching, I will kill you. I happen to like the look of blood on my hands."

"Vegeta, you worthless…"

I turn around, and burst into super Saiyan. Mark looks amazed.

"Just go to hell! It's bad enough that you had to drag that trash boyfriend here, but now you're trying to ruin my son's birthday! And not only that, but you go and insult Piccolo too! You're lucky that there are young children here, otherwise your mangled corpse would be washing up on the beach tomorrow. I'm excusing myself from this meal."

I look over at my son.

"Sorry, Trunks."

He nods, and I leave. Piccolo follows me, after one last snarl at Chichi.

I slam my bedroom door behind me and sit on my bed, head in my hands. There's a knock at the door, and Piccolo comes in.

"Is that what they're thinking? That Kakarot and I are sleeping together?" I ask the floor. The bed shifts slightly, as Piccolo sits next to me.

"Listen, Vegeta. I know it's not easy to hear, but it's true. We've all suspected it. Not all of us have a problem with it, don't get me wrong. It's only Chichi that has an issue with it. You gotta understand how it looked to us. Goku disappears, and then you follow him. He doesn't come and see us, even when he's invited. It looks like he's ashamed of something. It seems as though he doesn't want to be seen with you. I know that's probably not the truth, but the others…not all of them are willing to look at it a different way. And the way you defend him, it looks even worse."

I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands.

"I don't care what they think. Really I don't. It's just that Kakarot takes things far more personally. It'll destroy him to find out that his friends are spreading rumours and talking about him behind his back. Not only that, but his wife is screwing some pretty boy model."

I look at Piccolo, who looks just as worried as I do.

"I know it's not fair on him, and I'm sure his reasons for staying away are good. I just wish he'd explained it to everyone before he left. You guys aren't together, are you?"

I look at my feet.

"Well, not in the sense that we sleep together. But you're the only person I can tell right now. I fell in love with him. I know that he is still too attached to his friends and family to consider a relationship with me. But we have become very close friends, and I miss him so much."

Piccolo is quiet, as he absorbs what I've just told him.

"Well, Bulma and I have been talking. Besides Goku, we're the ones that know you best. We've always thought that the two of you would be good for each other. All I want to know is if Goku's happy."

"He is. He told me so. And I know when he's lying. He's scared of coming back because he thinks everyone will convince him to stay, and there goes his life with me. That's what he said."

A pause from Piccolo, as he mulls it over.

"Then I don't see the problem with it at all. I know you don't need anyone's approval, but Goku does."

I just stare at the floor.

"It's driving me mad, Piccolo. Being so close to him, but I'm never able to tell him how I feel. I wish we could be more. But I don't see it happening."

I feel his arm around my shoulders, and I close my eyes, a single tear falling. Piccolo just pretends he didn't see, and I'm grateful for it.

The night passes, and I walk into the sitting area of our cabin at eleven in the morning, only to nearly trip over my feet. I stand there, eyes practically bugging, Satan style, and they still don't notice me. I hastily retreat to my room, and lean against the door. Did I just see what I thought I saw? Piccolo? And Gohan? Making out? Now, I've seen it all. I gather my breath, and go back into the lounge. What's really funny is that Gohan is straddling Piccolo's lap. For some reason, I would have thought that it would have been the other way around. But I guess it's more practical. I politely clear my throat, and their eyes open, lips still locked. Then Piccolo gives me a wave, and then recaptures Gohan's attention, and they continue. I chuckle. Just like Piccolo to do that. Doesn't give a damn what others think. He looks like he's enjoying himself. As I grab a bottle of water, I wonder what it would feel like to kiss Kakarot. I've wondered about it before. Watching Gohan and Piccolo do it gives me a few ideas. I go into my room, grab my towel and then go to the main door.

"I'll see you guys at the pool. Just lock up after yourself, Piccolo."

A thumbs up from the Namek, then he returned his hand to Gohan's waist. I grin, as I leave the cabin, and go up a few decks to the swimming pool.

"Hey, dad!"

I see Trunks waving at me, and I go over to him. He's sitting with Goten, their deckchairs right next to each other. I pull up a deckchair, and plonk down on it.

"Hey, son. Look, about last night, I'm sorry I lost my cool like that, and – "

He cuts me off.

"Dad, don't sweat it. If you hadn't said something, I would have. She was totally out of line. It was so unnecessary."

I feel relieved.

"I'm just going for a dip, see you now, Purple."
"Cool, 'Ten."

I watch Trunks, who watches Goten walk to the pool in his orange board shorts. Trunks seems to be staring at Goten a little harder than usual.

"Trunks?"

"Err, yeah?"

I've been thinking the whole night, and I want to know what Trunks thinks.

"Did you think that Kakarot and I are sleeping together?"

He looks away from me.

"Yeah, I did. But I was hoping it was true."

"Huh?" I realise that I sound a lot like Kakarot.

Trunks looks at me, blushing quite vividly.

"Ummm, because then you wouldn't get mad at me when I tell you that Goten and I are, well, you know…going out."

Next thing I know, I fall off my deckchair and knock my head against the wooden deck.

"Dad!"

I get up, rubbing the back of my skull.

"You as well?"

"What?"

"No, nothing."

"Please don't be angry, dad."

"I'm not angry. Just surprised, that's all. I was wondering why you were staring at Goten's butt like that."

He grins at me.

"Yeah. Nice, isn't it?"

I roll my eyes.

"Does your mother know?"

"Yeah, long time ago. She walked in on us kissing the one time. But she laughed her head off instead. I think she was imagining Chichi's response."

"Does the evil bitch know?"

"Nope. And we're not planning to tell her. "

"Good. Well, I'm happy for you."

"I'm glad to hear that. But, are you sleeping with Goku or not?"

"No. Sorry."

"Who are you sorry for? Me, or yourself?"
He's got me there.

Dinner tonight isn't as tense as the night before. Chichi had excused herself. To think of it, I haven't seen her all day. No wonder it's been such a good day. I'm standing at the railings, when Gohan and Goten arrive on either side of me. I glance at each of them; the likeness between them is uncanny. Kakarot clones.

"Vegeta, be honest with us."

"I'll try, Goten."

"We just want to know why my dad didn't come to the party. Or why he hasn't been coming to see us, like you have," says Gohan. I look at the setting sun. Usually, Kakarot and I would be sparring round about now.

"Look, guys. I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell the others. I'm only telling you this because I think you have a right to know, and I can trust you."

They both nod, and I explain to them why Kakarot doesn't want to come back.

"He cares that much about you?"

"I guess so."

"Can I ask you a personal question?" asks Gohan.

"As long as it isn't too personal."

"Well, Gohan and I have been wondering. Do you love our dad?"

"Would you be upset if I did?"
"Not at all."

"Then, yes, I do. But he doesn't love me back. So, that kills the rumour that we're doing the mattress tango."

We're quiet, as we look out over the sea.

"By the way…is my son a good kisser, Goten?"

I grin. Goten looks exactly like Kakarot when he blushes.