Hi! Thanks for all the great reviews on the last chapter. I felt so bad for killing both of them off but it was needed for the plot line. This chapter is mostly about Nightwing and Starfire and the aftermath between them from finding out Starfire's past. Please pay close ATTENTION to the song lyrics in this chapter for they have a lot to do in forming the basis of this chapter. The song it Let Me Go by 3 Doors Down. Here is chapter 10:

Disclaimer: I don't own the teen titans, but hey I own this story!

Chapter 10: You Don't Know Who I am

One more kiss could be the best thing

But one more lie could be the worst

All these thoughts are never resting

And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now

This world falls on me

In this world there's real and make believe

And this seems real to me….

You love me but you don't know who I am

I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand

And you love me but you don't know who I am

So let me go

Let me go

The room was silent and all that could be heard was the rain hitting the glass windows. The Titans knees felt weak. They wanted to know what happened, but this was just terrible.

Starfire had sunk down to the floor while telling the story. She now sat in a corner staring at the wall across from her. She had just finished and now everyone was in shock.

After a few minutes Starfire spoke still staring at the wall. " Now you know what happened to me. I lost my husband and I lost my son in the same night. Akilli died in my arms and Vulcan died trying to get to me."

Nightwing stood from where he had landed after Starfire threw him against the wall.

He walked over to her, " Starfire, I'm so sorry. It must've been hell for you." He tried putting a hand on her shoulder but she shook him away.

She stood slowly and for the first time in quite a while spoke. " You know nothing of hell." She then turned and fled to the bedroom. Nightwing immediately went after her but found the door had been locked.

Inside the room Starfire held her head in her hands. She heard banging on the door and Nightwing's voice telling her to let him in. Starfire shook her head. She couldn't stand being here anymore. The room started to close in and she felt like the air had been sucked out of her. She needed to get out!

She saw a window at the other end of the room. She ran to it. She opened its latch and it swung open to the thunder and the rain. She stepped out on the ledge and looked at the door as it was being pushed open.

Nightwing threw the door down and ran into the room. "Star-fire." He said looking around. No one was there and then he looked over to the window. It was open. He rushed to it and looked down, no one was there. Starfire was gone.

The other Titans came into the room and saw Nightwing sitting on the windows ledge with his head down.

" Where is she?" Beastboy asked.

" She's gone, she left." Nightwing answered.

" I think it's best that for right now she be alone." Raven said.

" No!" Nightwing yelled stepping into the room. " Listen she can't be alone right now."

" We know you care about her man, we all do." Cyborg said.

" I'm going to go find her. Raven do a mental scan of the city. Beastboy and Cyborg—do whatever you guys do." Nightwing said then before anyone could stop him he jumped out the window, disappearing into the cold night.

Raven looked at the empty frame of the window. She rubbed her pupils and said to herself, " I'm going to need lots of herbal tea."

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Nightwing jumped from roof to roof looking for her. It didn't matter if he was soaking wet or that the lighting was nearing, he was going to find her. He realized now that pushing her was a mistake. And he needed to find her. He needed to tell her. Nightwing stopped and remembered a time when Starfire had reached out and found him.

Flashback 10 years ago:

Robin punched the punching bag harder and harder. Each time he threw his arm Slade's face appeared on it. He hated that face, that man. Slade had forced him into being his apprentice, forced him to fight his friends, forced him to hurt Starfire.

" I would stop you. But if this violence against an innocent bag of punching is what you need to heal your wounds then please continue." A voice said from the doorway.

Robin stopped and turned around. He wiped some sweat off his forehead and looked at the beautiful alien girl and said, " Starfire I didn't know you where there. Have you come to tell me how big of and dumbass I am like the others have."

Starfire held sad eyes and she shook her head, " No. I merely wish to talk to you."

Robin sighed, " I'm sorry Starfire."

Starfire and him sat on the floor mat and Starfire looked into his eyes. She had a way of making him feel totally naked when she did that. " You do not need to apologize, Robin. Although I think your choice was not wise, you were only trying to protect your friends."

Robin couldn't help but fell happy towards her for saying that. " But I am still so very sorry. I hurt my friends and I stole. Most importantly I hurt you Starfire."

Starfire let a tear fall down her face, " I know you were not going to shoot me."

Robin looked at her, " How?"

Starfire took his hand in hers. " When it was just you and I we had our fires readied towards each other. But I put mine down. Any other villain would've taken that chance to shoot me but you didn't. I know you weren't going to hurt me. You could never hurt me, Robin."

Robin laid a hand on her cheek and Starfire felt her heart beat faster. Robin shook his head. " That's where you're wrong Starfire. I would hurt you, not physically but emotionally. I can't help it; I push people away. I know that when I lock myself in my room it hurts you guys'. I hurt you then, don't I? I hurt people Starfire, but I don't want to hurt you."

Starfire looked into his eyes and smiled. Before Robin knew it her lips softly brushed against his and she kissed him. He felt himself also kissing back. Her lips moved to his cheek and then rested just before his ear.

Then she whispered to him, " You only hurt me when you give up." She pulled away and Robin looked at her.

" Yo Starfire, what the hell is this goo spilling over the pot in here! It's purple andewwww is that yellow fungus? Girl I think you should get out here…..it's starting to talk! And it's starting looking at me kind-of funny! And—oh my God!" Cyborg yelled in a girlish way.

"Cyborg! Noooooooooooooo!" Beastboy's screams were heard.

Starfire made a weak smile and walked out of the room. Little did Robin know it would be just the next day she disappeared for 10 years.

:End Flashback

He walked towards the old Pizza Palace. He had hoped she'd be there, but no one was. The walked down and sat down on an old stone bench that had rusted under years of age. The rain still pounded hard. Nightwing held his head up high, looking to the heavens wanting an answer. And then it came to him.

He stood and started to run. He knew where Starfire was. She went home.

Meanwhile…………….

" Alright I need extra energy around me, as this procedure drains mine. Cyborg you sit on the right of me and Beastboy the left." Raven said.

The men took their places around her.

" Will this work?" Cyborg asked.

" Yes." Raven answered.

" Raven will it harm you?" Beastboy asked worried.

" No. this is actually very simple." Raven said looking at Beastboy, but she could still tell he was worried. Then she held his hand tighter and whispered, " Everything will be fine."

After that Beastboy seemed to relax a bit and he sat back. Raven also took hold of Cyborg's hand forming a triangle.

She gave each of their hands a squeeze before closing her eyes. She seemed to be mumbling something to herself and a light formed in the middle of the triangle. She held on tighter as the ball of light went through the wall.

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A woman with shoulder length red hair sat on top of a roof. She was soaked from head to toe. She held her knees to her chin while she cried and shook. Looking back on her life this was the only place she ever truly was able to call home. Titans Tower.

I dream ahead to what I hope for

And I turn my back on loving you

How can this love be a good thing

Not to know what I'm going through

In my head there's only you now

This world falls on me

In this world there's real and make believe

And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am

I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand

You love me but you don't know who I am

So let me go

Just let me goo…

Let me go

" Starfire." A voice whispered from behind her.

She didn't turn to face it. She already knew who it was. " I was wondering when you'd come Richard."

He sat down next to her and she didn't object. " Listen Star what happened back at the apartment—I—I am sorry that you lost your husband and your son." Nightwing/ Richard said sincerely.

Starfire just kept looking out at the ocean, ignoring the rain and letting tears slip down her face. " It's been two years since I lost them."

" It must have been so hard for you." Richard said trying to comfort her.

Starfire eyes watered up more and went to move her lips and at first nothing came out but sobs. Then she said, " I could've—I could've somehow been able to cope with Akilli's death, I loved him so much, but I've lost someone I loved before. But-but Vulcan, not Vulcan. Have you ever lost a child?"

Richard shook his head no.

" Then you don't know how it is. My heart felt like it had been shattered. He was my baby boy. He was so beautiful with his red hair and Akilli's blue eyes. If he would've lived I would've been able to be strong for him but I wasn't able to. He was only five! He was only five, Richard, five!" Starfire cried while rocking back and forwards.

" I can never imaging that happening to me." Richard whispered.

Starfire kept talking as though she were in a trance. " After they died I think I broke. They were my family, my only means of coping and they were gone. I was so angry for so long . All I wanted was revenge I didn't care who I sought. I just became so cold. I killed innocent people not just Odessian soldiers, but fathers and mothers. I will live with those faces for the rest of my life."

" Every time I look in the mirror I don't recognize who I see anymore. I'm not your Starfire. I'm not naïve or innocent and kind or a teenager. But then again I am not Akilli's and Vulcan's Starfire either. I am not caring, or a mother, or a wife, or a friend. I look in the mirror now and a stranger looks back at me. I don't who I am anymore. Nor do I know where I stand. I am not evil, Richard, please you must know this but I am not good. I stand on the line and sometimes I feel like going to fall."

" When Vulcan was younger we'd play make believe and he would be the brave solider and I the queen. He would save the kingdom and me. My whole life seems like that now, just make believe and my past just seems like one big blur. He would've been 7 now. I can't but think of all the things he'll miss. He'll miss his first crush, first ball, first kiss, first love, first time driving a carriage, first sword fight and much more."

" He seems like he was a wonderful child." Richard whispered.

Starfire nodded, " He was."

" And what about Akilli?" Richard asked.


 Starfire sighed and said, " He was a good man and a good husband. I could've spent the rest of my life with him. He showed me so many wondrous things and bought me into his life. He was handsome and smart. But it seems like he was always gone though. Before he died we decided that he was going to quit being a soldier and we were going to have another child. I was so excited I couldn't wait for another baby to add to our family. I can't help but think of all the things him and I will miss out on."

All was silent for a few minutes and then Starfire said, " Why did they have to die?"

" I don't know." Richard honestly answered.

" Was it worth it. Was it worth killing those people?" Richard asked.

For the first time Starfire looked at him and then after a few second said, "No. It wasn't. You've apologized and now it's time for me to apologize to you. I'm sorry for pushing you away. I didn't want to hurt you."

Richard took hold of her shoulders and made her look at him. " Starfire you will never hurt me. Never. There's something I wanted to say 10 years ago but I never got the chance to say."

" What?" Starfire whispered.

" Starfire I have loved you since the day I met you. I was only 15 but I knew there would be no one else like you. You made me a better person and taught me lessons a man should learn. You never saw the bad you saw the good in me. No one had ever reached me the way you did. I don't care what you've done or how much you push me away .I have you loved since I was 15 years-old and I will love you forever." Richard said passionately looking into her eyes. She didn't answer but just looked at him. He looked down and stood and started to walk away.

Starfire sat in shock from what she just heard. He loved her too?

Nightwing was about to jump off the other side of the roof to go back to his apartment when he felt hands on his shoulders.

Starfire spun him around so their eyes met. Then she brought her lips to him and kissed him. She broke away and had to yell since it was raining so hard, " I loved Akilli ,I did! But I would always wonder where you were and what you were doing. You were the first boy I loved! You showed me customs of earth and so much more! I loved my husband, but I loved you always. I loved you in a different passion ! I loved you different! I gave my heart to Akilli, yes, but it really was always here with you! I loved you since I was 15! I will love you in the past, now, and in the future no matter what! I love you Richard Grayson and that will never change! I love you!"( the next part is lemon-ish but not really)

Richard pulled her into his arms and kissed her fervently. He pulled her closer and she ran her fingers through his long wet black locks. His tongue slipped into her mouth and she massaged it. He raised her so her legs were around his waist. He pushed her against the wall of Titans Tower and she sunk deeper into him.

He broke the kiss and whispered, "I love you." With her still raised against the wall and with one hand still around her he lifted the other to his face. Her other hand moved with his. He raised both to his masked eyes. Gently both fingers pulled it off to reveal sparkling deep blue eyes. They were unlike any Starfire had ever seen before. They were like the deep blue ocean..

" They are beautiful." Starfire whispered..

" Now you know who I am." Richard whispered.

" I love you." Starfire murmured as she kissed his bottom lip. He moaned and picked her up once more , kissing her. She raised his shirt and threw it to the ground and he did the same with her top. Then he opened the door and pulled them both inside the building. He ran them down the hallway, both topless. They entered the closest bedroom, which was Starfire's old room. He laid her on the purple bed in a vertical position and lay on top of her.

" Do you want to do this?" he asked again.

She nodded and said, " I want you to know all of me." Richard nodded and kissed her once more.

Meanwhile…………………………….

" Dude is she okay. She's kind-of been all spacey for a while now." Cyborg asked.

Beastboy shrugged and looked at her with worried eyes. All of a sudden a white light returned and Raven let out a gasp for air.

She fell to the ground and Beastboy rushed to her. " Raven are you okay?"

She nodded and said, " It takes a lot out of me to scan a distance that wide."

" So did you sense her trace?" Cyborg asked.

Raven sat up and nodded. " Yes I know her location."

" Well then we should call Nightwing?" Beastboy asked.

Raven stood and shook her head, " Nope."

" Why not?" Both men asked.

" He found her already. They're at Titans Tower" Raven stated going to the kitchen and pouring some herbal tea.

" Well then we should go pick them up right?" Beastboy asked.

Raven shook her head, " No I think it would be best if they were alone tonight."

" But why?" Beastboy asked and Raven raised an eyebrow.

Cyborg let out a laugh, " It's about time."

" About time for what?" Beastboy asked still confused.

Raven rolled her eyes and whispered into his ear.

Beastboy smiled, " Oh-Oh! I understand now!"

" Congratulations." Raven said without emotion.

" Hey Rae wanna go do that?" Beastboy winked.

Raven smiled and kissed him, " Why not?"

Cyborg just shuddered and his eye started to twitch again then he yelled, " Not in front of me!"

Beastboy laughed at his friends discomfort and pulled Raven down the hallway.

Cyborg cupped his mouth and yelled, " And y'all better not make any loud noises! If you I hear even a moan I swear to God you will pay!" he only heard laughing from the other room.

He sank down on the couch with his head in is hands. Tears fell down his face and he looked to the ceiling ,once more, imploringly and cried, " Why! Why! Why Lord! Why me!"

There was a knock on the door and he got up. He opened and said miserably with out looking up, " What do ya want? Cause there is nothing that can make my life more pathetic than it already is!"

He looked up and his eyes went wide. In front of him stood an African American woman with long straight hazel hair and eyes.

" Cyborg? Well it's good to know you haven't changed." The girl said her voice dripping with sarcasm.

" Bumble-bee? Damn girl you fine!" Cyborg said and then covered his mouth up. " Did I just say that out loud?"

Bumblebee nodded and held out a cup, " I need to borrow sugar."

" Sure you want just a cup?" Cyborg asked overlooking her.

She put the cup down and raised an eyebrow. " Well than again maybe you can give me a different kind-of sugar. Come on tin-man." Cyborg smiled bubbly as he was pulled out into the hallway.

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Starfire's head lay peacefully on Richard's chest, going up and down as he breathed. He ran his fingers through her red ruby hair. Her fingers danced playfully on his chest. Starfire smiled a content smile. This is the happiest she'd been in years.

" What are you thinking?" Richard whispered kissing her forehead.

Starfire smiled and hugged him tighter. " I am thinking that I love you. And when I made love to you it was amazing. And I'm thinking that this is the happiest I've been in a long time. What are you thinking?"

Richard smiled also, " I am thinking about how much I love you. And how grateful I am that you retuned to me. How beautiful you are body and soul. And I'm thinking that I am the happiest that I've been in 10 years."

And no matter how hard I try

I can't escape these things inside I know

I knowww…..

When all the pieces fall apart

You will be the only one who knows

Who knows

You love but you don't know who I am

I'm tore between this life I lead and where is stand

And you love me but you don't know who I am

So let me go

Just let me go

And you love me but you don't

You love me but you don't

You love me but you don't know who I am

And you love me but you don't

You love me but you don't

You love me but you don't know me…

" I think its one of the best things that could've happened to me." Starfire whispered.

" What?" Richard asked.

" Returning…to you." Starfire said. He kissed her softly and she kissed back.

" I think so too." Richard whispered.

" How can you love me so much?" Starfire asked.

" What do you mean?" Richard asked.

" I don't know who I am. You don't know who I am." Starfire whispered sadly.

He lifted her chin to meet his eyes. " I know who you are."

Starfire smiled sadly, " How do you know me, but I don't know myself? I don't understand."

Richard smiled. " You'll understand someday. I can't tell you who you are, Starfire. You'll find that out for yourself." He kissed her again and Starfire let herself melt into the kiss. It was a beeping sound that broke them apart.

" It's my alarm. Something's wrong." Richard said looking down at a little device.

" Then go." Starfire whispered.

Richard shook his head, " I can't leave you here."

" It's fine I'll be here when you get back." Starfire said. Richard nodded and got dressed as Starfire watched him do so.

After he was finished he walked back to her and said, " I'll be back by sunrise. I promise." Starfire nodded and kissed him again making him fall down on the bed with her.

He broke away breathing heavily, " I really want to stay here with you, but I have to go. We'll continue this when I get back."

He walked towards the door and Starfire climbed out of bed letting the covers fall off her. She walked up to him and gave him one last hug. He kissed her and then walked out the door. Starfire climbed back into bed and fell asleep.

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At an Old Warehouse by the Shore…………………..

Nightwing took another look over the building. There was nothing there.

He walked towards the door muttering to himself. " Damn false alarm!"

" No, no, no Nightwing it wasn't a false alarm. Just a way to get you here." A voice said from within the shadows.

" Who are you!" Nightwing demanded.

" You should know….you killed me." The voice said.

Nightwing's eyes widened and he whispered, " No."

" Yes, Nightwing, I'm still alive. The end was just the beginning of the Titans downfall." the voice said .

" I'll stop you!" Nightwing yelled.

" No, it's already begun." The voice said then out of nowhere gas bombs exploded. Nightwing eyes stung and he fell to the ground.

He saw a shadow walk up to him and leaned in.

" Don't worry I'll kill all of you together. Your friends will be destroyed! As well as that lover of yours." The shadow said tauntingly and then disappeared into the smoke.

" Starfire….no." Nightwing whispered before he was knocked out.

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Hi! Thank-you again for all the reviews! I give each of you cookie! I do know that this chapter was short, but it was like a little intermission. More about the villain will be revealed in the next chapter. Can you guess who it is?

Oh and lil LIK Star my heart goes out to you. I know what it is like also to lose a loved one.

I just realized I'm over a 100 reviews! YAY! Now I'm giving all of you two more cookies! I know putting Cyborg with bumblebee was a little cliché but I felt bad for the guy. Just to let you all know she's not going to play an important part in this story. Remember reviews give me the power to write! So review please! And no flames!

Bye-bye,

Hailey