Hey! You met the reviews requirement in like a day so here is ur reward! lol i hope u like this chap, i really do!
Kit Merlot:i have no clue how u missed two updates, mayb i just update too fast, lol. o just wait, wut happens to Chloe in the chapter after this one is just as bad! lol so hurry and read and review this one cuz the next chap is waiting to be posted!
heticangel:hey thanks heres ur update! o and by the way i love ur name, heticangel, actually hectic is spelled with two c's but hey who cares!
IluvSmallvilleDBZSailormoon:speechless and hooked, nice, exactly what i was hoping for, lol. u really should use that disclaimer, its great, i love the nah, nah, nah! that is one of my all time fave songs!
oi there:thanks and heres the next chap, u want more u gotta review!
bluengreenswmer94:thanks! and since u guys reviewed so quick, heres ur next chap!
Chloe
I logged onto my e-mail. I had begged Pete until he hooked me up to the phone line with my laptop. There were no e-mails. I was amazed but not surprised, I had long ago figured out who porscheluver22 was. And he had already ran away. I decided to send him an e-mail.
Lex, I figured out who you were last month, you talk too much like yourself in your e-mails. Why did you leave? I didn't want you to leave. You ran away and I was left alone, I don't want to be alone. Please come back to me Lex. I need you.
The one thing I didn't tell him was how much I needed him. For the last six months I had depended on him. And it wasn't until he left that I realized how much I needed him. When he ran out that door, my heart broke, shattered into a thousand pieces. I realized that I loved him, loved him more than I had ever loved Clark. Clark had been a crush, but just a crush and nothing more. I loved Lex. In his e-mails he had said he loved me too. But now I figured he had just been lying. I clicked send and shut off the computer. Then I started to cry. Heart-wrenching sobs that tore through my body with no control. A nurse came to check my vitals and to sedate me again. That was my only escape, the deep, drug induced sleep, that had no dreams. I started to fight it out of habit, but then I gave in and the world slowly slipped away.
Lex
My computer beeped, I had an e-mail. Without looking I knew who it was from. Chloe. I sighed and started to delete it but changed my mind. I had to read it.
Lex, I figured out who you were last month, you talk too much like yourself in your e-mails. Why did you leave? I didn't want you to leave. You ran away and I was left alone, I don't want to be alone. Please come back to me Lex. I need you.
She knew who I was. I couldn't believe she had figured it out. But still, I had always known that eventually she would. She needed me. She needed me. But not in the same way that I needed her. She needed me to help her through this, I needed her to love me. Needed her to continue breathing, needed her to go on living my life. But I had decided, I would never again put her life in danger. I clicked delete and shut off my laptop. I sighed and went to my bedroom. I stripped down to my boxers and went to the picture on the wall. This painting was of the summer, of a lake and sunshine and happiness. It hid a safe. I swung the picture away from the wall on its hidden hinges. I twisted the dial, put in the combination. I opened the safe and pulled out a wine bottle. This was very fine wine, almost pure alcohol. It was the only way I could ever get to sleep. I sat on my bed and drank from the bottle, not even bothering with a glass. I drank the whole thing and then waited for it to take over my thoughts. My mind started to go foggy, no longer thinking straight. I started to lose consciousness, the world slowly dissolved. But as drunk as I was, I still couldn't forget, couldn't forget what I'd done to her. If I couldn't forgive myself and couldn't forget. how could I go on living? That's when I passed out.
Chloe
A lot of people came to see me. Clark, Pete, Lana, my dad, Mr. and Mrs. Kent, other people from school. I wouldn't let any of them in. I just told them to go away, they looked at me with sympathy, with pity. I had to look away, I hated it that they felt sorry for me. I couldn't stand it. I had to figure out what to do. I knew I wouldn't be in the hospital forever. How would I face everyone? I decided I would just have to fake it. I slowly started to build a wall around my heart. I couldn't let anyone else in, couldn't let anyone hurt me like he had. I knew that I could do this, I didn't need anyone. I could live without letting anyone else in. I knew I could do it. I could go on living without him. I took a deep breath and closed myself away from everyone. I didn't talk for a week, except to answer questions from the doctors. I didn't let anyone see me for a week. Then, when I knew I could handle it, I started to ease back into my life. People started to come to see me and I talked to them. Talked to them like I was myself, like my heart was still intact. The only person that seemed to see through me was Clark. I knew he suspected something had happened, something to change me, but I just sat there and smiled, waiting until he believed I was okay.
It was the end of the day. Visiting hours were over. I relaxed and stopped smiling. I could be myself until tomorrow.
"Chloe." I turned and there he was. Doesn't this guy ever give up?
"Hi Clark, what's up?" I pasted my smile back on my face.
"Pictures, from the dance. I thought you might want to see them." You thought wrong Clark, I want to forget all about that night.
"Sure." I sat up and took the pictures from his hands. He looked over my shoulder. I looked at all the pictures. I looked at all my friends. Pete dancing with one girl after another. Lana dancing with every guy in the high school, including starry eyed freshmen. Me dancing with a couple guys. Then there were the pictures of Clark and Lana. And I knew it was that dance. My smile wobbled, I felt a stab at the wall around my heart. But my feelings for Clark weren't enough to get through it. Then I looked at the last picture. It showed me and Lex, dancing, smiling at each other. And my wall crumbled, I felt all the heartache all over again. I burst into tears, dropping the pictures, and burying my face in my hands.
"Oh Chloe," said Clark, wrapping his arms around me. I hugged him back, crying into his shoulder. We stayed like that for a long time. When I finally ran out of tears, we pulled apart. He took my hands in his own and looked into my eyes. "Tell me Chloe. What's wrong? Let me in Chloe, please."
"Clark I...I don't know if I can."
"Try. Please, for me." I had to do it.
"It's him Clark. He's the one that is doing this to me."
"Who? Lex?"
"Yes Lex! He left me Clark. Left me alone. Left me when I needed him the most."
"Chloe, Chloe look at me." I looked into his eyes. "Do you love him?" I looked down, unable to meet his gaze. He put his hand under my chin, forcing my head up, gently though. "Chloe. Do you love him?"
"I did Clark. I loved him, I loved him a long time ago. Not anymore." He looked at me, his gaze piercing right into my soul. I forced myself to meet his gaze, I tried with all I had to hide the truth from him.
"Okay Chloe. I believe you. Thank you for telling me." He got up to leave.
"Clark wait!" He turned to face me, his hand on the doorknob. "Promise me you won't tell anyone?"
"I would never do that Chloe. I promise." I smiled at him and he left. I sighed, slowly starting to rebuild my wall. I let Clark in once, but he hurt me, I didn't know if I could trust him not to do it again. And I knew damn well I couldn't trust Lex not to hurt me. Clark would always be the person I would turn to in my time of need. I had done it again, let him in, never again. I promised myself I would never let anyone get that close to me ever again. I always ended up hurt. Never again.
Lex
I sat in my den, staring into the fire.
"Lex." I turned around and sighed.
"Hello Clark."
"Why haven't you gone to see Chloe?" He got straight to the point didn't he?
"Haven't had the time." I tried that excuse, wondering if he would buy it. He didn't.
"Oh sure."
"What do you mean?"
"That was such a lie." Damn you Clark.
"Yeah well."
"What's the real reason?" He looked at me. I had always been able to trust Clark.
"It's my fault Clark."
"What?"
"I'm the reason she's in the hospital, I'm the reason she's hurt."
"How is that your fault?"
"That bullet was meant for me."
"So the person that shot it is the one that put Chloe in the hospital, not you."
"But if I hadn't been near her, she wouldn't be in so much pain."
"You still haven't answered my question. You stayed there with her until she woke up, so why not visit her now?"
"I decided she would be better off without me. I couldn't live with myself if she got hurt again."
"Do you love her?"
"What?" I was taken aback, he was good at this.
"Do you love her?"
"I did Clark, I used too, but not now. I'm over her." He looked at me, trying to see if I was telling the truth. I wasn't but I did my best to hide it.
"Okay Lex, I believe you." He got up to leave but I stopped him.
"Don't tell anyone Clark."
"I would never do that Lex." He left and I stared at his retreating form. I could never let anyone get close to me again. Clark was close enough, maybe even to close. I had to distance myself from everyone. No one else could get hurt because of me.
Chloe
I walked out of the hospital confidently. I could do this. I could keep up the facade that had been my life back at the hospital. I could do this. Clark had been the only one to see through it. I would just have to avoid being alone with him. Never let them see you cry Chloe.
Lex
I walked into work with a bold face. I had easily slipped back into my old facade. Chloe had been the only one to see through it. Well and Clark too. Now I would just have to get better at
faking it.
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