The Friendship Journal Chapter 5
Alright, so… this is Ryou's friendship journal. How fascinating.
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Notice I did not start this entry by addressing the journal in any way. I realize it is an inanimate object, unlike a certain THIEF. He has serious reality problems. Example; he finds it amusing to try to stab people's fingers.
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Yes I speak from experience. Now, people will hear some crazy rumours that I fainted when Bakura tried to cut my fingers off, but this is a total lie. I was merely practicing "stop, drop and roll" because I am concerned for my safety after Marik set my shirt on fire just recently.
Still, third degree burns are easier to treat than severed fingers. Really, what kind of spirit takes knives into a toy shop? Not I. I happen to have a very good understanding of modern laws. I have only been to these modern jails twice. Bakura has been there at least… a lot. Still, what did I expect from the spirit of a 5,000 year-old thief? He is not so well-bred and educated as some. Personally I don't even think he can write. I'm sure he just dictated to Ryou and he wrote the entry for him. Point a carrot at either one of them and they're putty in your hands, it's not difficult to bend one of them to your will.
Speaking of which, I wonder if Bakura has ever sodomised Ryou with a carrot? He seems the type – a poof I mean, not a serial carrot rapist. Though he could be one of those too. It would explain why Marik walks funny, Ra knows what Bakura has done to him. Not that I care.
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All this talk is making me fear carrots. They are quite terrifying. Never trust a pointy fruit.
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That's a double entendre. Think about it.
Ah, Yugi just walked in, perhaps he would like to write something.
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No, he wishes to be last so he can read everyone else's entry. Which is quite a good idea. Although I feel I should tell him there might not be a journal once Marik gets his dirty mitts on it.
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I can't tell Yugi, he's watching the Osbournes. He doesn't seem the type to enjoy the show, but what do you know? Maybe he has a crush on Kelly… or Sharon.
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Ew.
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Bakura kind of reminds me of Ozzy Osbourne. Old, bad sense of humour, bites the head off things…
Yugi has been reading over my shoulder. He claims I have an unhealthy obsession with Bakura. Well I think Yugi has an unhealthy obsession with Tea.
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Yugi is going off. The Osbournes certainly have taught my hikari some colourful language.
Still, how dare he imply that I do nothing but talk about Bakura! There are at least two sentences in here dedicated to Yugi or Marik! Hmph. I do not have an obsession with Bakura. It's just that he has several faults I would like to point out, the main one being that he is INSANE.
But enough. I can stop talking about Bakura any time I like, and I choose to stop now. I will talk about something far more fascinating:
Me.
I am not insane like a certain thief we all know. I do not try to cut people's fingers off and whatnot.
Granted I've done quite… nasty things in my time, but nothing like Bakura. He is quite despicable.
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Although it was something of a turn-on. Watching Bkura drag my father's mummified body through the streets of Ancient Egypt.
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Oh my Ra I did not just say that. This obsession is getting to me. I must hand over this journal ASAP!
Pharaoh Atemu
Well sorry the update took so long but here it is! Hooray! And Yami's little rant at the end there is all part of a grand plan… Heehee…. R&R!